chaircover:

Has she been seen by a doctor. She may need to go on meds. Its no big deal. Depression is like any other illness and she may need drugs to get over it

She may also benefit from counseling sessions.

To be honest, you need to try and wean her off you. She needs to be able to stand if a relationship breaks down. Marriages break down and so can boyfriend/girlfriend relationships. I am not praying that you break up, but if it happens how is she going to cope and I will never advise anyone to remain in a relationship due to pity.

Are her health issues solvable now? cos it could be the uncertainty that is also making her down.

Please see a doctor first and they will be able to refer you to a specialist for both her heart and her depression. All the best.

thanks for the comment i appreciate.Yea she said she has actually seen a doctor ,she said she doesnt want to use anti depressant cause she
said its so addictive,so she has been doing some other things to get her back to her feet,i guess am going to do what you advised of me caused thats the main point what if we break up is she going to get depressed again and i dont want to be the cause of another person sadness

yellowpawpaw: LILBIM, whichever way, pls don't ever leave this lady. Doing so is one way suicide.
Rather, u can help her rediscover herself.
What is she good in?
Encourage her to invest in it.
As she is getting very absorbed in it, encourage her to engage in a team work eg, party with friends, visiting d sick with friends, anything that she can do with others. She will start getting d feel of I'm really responsible and u will c d spark.
Don't lure her into talking about her past. She will spill it at d right time. For now, anything that can bring joy and commitment is what she need.
The level she has attained will make u to start disengaging not as her guy but as a person(if u get my drift)
She will pull tru. Its a matter of time and encouragement.
All d best.

t

thanks for the comment i dont plan on leaving her am just scared that if the worse happens hope she doesnt get sucidal cause she once told me that jokingly but i guess she meant it , i dont want to break her heart but we cant predict the future thats just it

GSKing, how come u delete that post?
I read it and it has been on my mind since but wanted to post a reply at d right moment for me.
Pple that posts comments here don't do that at d spur of the moment.
Some don't post at all for lack of the right words to use. As u didn't c any reply, u got discouraged and deleted ur post. Its not so.

Put it back up there but this time try and go into details a little bit.
I'm completely with u and I want to help u. U were not deserted.

yellowpawpaw: GSKing, how come u delete that post?
I read it and it has been on my mind since but wanted to post a reply at d right moment for me.
Pple that posts comments here don't do that at d spur of the moment.
Some don't post at all for lack of the right words to use. As u didn't c any reply, u got discouraged and deleted ur post. Its not so.

Put it back up there but this time try and go into details a little bit.
I'm completely with u and I want to help u. U were not deserted.

Can't I pm you instead?

yellowpawpaw: GSKing, how come u delete that post?

When I opened it, I only saw a smiley. Didn't know he posted something there. GSKing, we are all here for each other. You can repost what you wrote.

bellong:

When I opened it, I only saw a smiley. Didn't know he posted something there. GSKing, we are all here for each other. You can repost what you wrote.

everyone will read it!

GSKing:
everyone will read it!

But its not a problem GsKing.


This thread was opened to help people out of their predicaments. A problem shared is a problem how solved.

Please just share, nobody will take it against you.

GSKing, u r one funny dude. Sh*it happens to everybody. Pple don read my own so tee I assume they r tired of reading them. Plenty of them.
If u don't feel comfy reposting it again, then use another moniker.
Then again, reading different meaning into it as a man thing maybe, pm Mr Bellong or Mr RR. They r correct dudes and u can rely on them man to man.
I'm a woman so u might not feel free with me as I may like to go to an area u might not feel comfy with.
But we all r here for ya!

^I'm female. Thanks for that encouragement.

GSKing: ^I'm female. Thanks for that encouragement.

What! My bad.
Ok u can pm me.

bellong:

When I opened it, I only saw a smiley. Didn't know he posted something there. GSKing, we are all here for each other. You can repost what you wrote.

Same here.... I thought she was just passing by.....that is why i ignored it.

Thank God ypp saw it....

GSKing.....YOU can always send someone on this thread a pm. I believe they would help you out. We all have our downtimes and need each other to move on. Take care.

http://hyperboleandahalf..co.uk/2011/10/adventures-in-depression.html?m=1 found this interesting post. Might be very useful to someone.

Hmmm

donmix: Hmmm

You wrote that or what?

onegig: You wrote that or what?

yea I did, and I love it

donmix: yea I did, and I love it

@Donmix, Hope everything is alright with you? Did you say "run away in your mind?"
Don't make us try to find you, there seems to be more to that your write up.
If you have no motivation to do the everyday things then ensure that you are happy.
Count your blessings, life is a blessing. The dead ones are not enjoying being alive like you.

If there is afterlife, I will kill myself right now.

Safari29: If there is afterlife, I will kill myself right now.

Are tired of yourself? Are you being burdened by somethings and challenges?

You can unburden your mind here if you don't mind. There are many willing to give you listening ears here...

bellong:

Are tired of yourself? Are you being burdened by somethings and challenges?

You can unburden your mind here if you don't mind. There are many willing to give you listening ears here...

nothing good comes my way. my decision making is poor. I have lost so many things. hope is diminishing.

Safari29:

nothing good comes my way. my decision making is poor. I have lost so many things. hope is diminishing.

This is still ambiguous... There is always a starting point for every problem/challenge. Try to look back to identify how it all started, then one can be able to come up with a lasting solution.

Why do you think nothing good comes your way? Have you ever thought that what you believe not to be good may be the best for you at the time? You can always get to see the positive out of all negative events.

If your decision making is poor, what are the things you think are responsible for it? Are you always hasty to make decision? Do you consider every parameter surrounding a matter before taking decision? Are your decisions mostly influenced by what people say? These and many more are questions you should ask yourself.

Everybody has lost things at a point in life and will still lose. It is part of the dynamics of life. Getting back on track determines how easy you recover those things and much more than you lost.


If you lose all things, you have lost nothing until you lose hope. Hope is what no man should lose in life. An hopeless man is a walking corpse, no one can help such a man. Whatever happens to you, never lose hope. There is always light at the end of the tunnel for those who refuse to give up.

Your moniker means any long or adventurous journey or expedition. Take whatever happens as part of the adventurous journey of life. Learn from your past mistakes to correct future re-occurrence.

It is well with you.

bellong:

thank you very much for the cancel. I am undergoing some hard times now hence the depression and suicide feeling. I try to keep my hope high especially when I see the less privilege still hopeful. I also believe it will pass soon. my case is like someone that fell from grace to grass. Am starting over again May God help me. Thank you so much May God Bless u

Safari29:
my case is like someone that fell from grace to grass. Am starting over again May God help me. Thank you so much May God Bless u

That's the spirit. Never you give up. Some people have walked in a more terrible path than yours before and they came out strong and better. You can do it. Only learn from past mistakes.

I believe you will surely get to the pinnacle of your dreams if you don't give up.

Safari29:
thank you very much for the cancel. I am undergoing some hard times now hence the depression and suicide feeling. I try to keep my hope high especially when I see the less privilege still hopeful. I also believe it will pass soon. my case is like someone that fell from grace to grass. Am starting over again May God help me. Thank you so much May God Bless u

Be strong dear.
Life is full of ups and downs.
This too shall pass, you know.
Sending you plenty of warmth.

Feeling so down, never experienced this in my whole dating life. First time of luvin som1 wit my whole heart bt he doesnt feel same for me. But he shouldnt have made me fall for him in the first place,when he doesnt hav any intention of taking it to d nxt levl. Karma is really a b*tch, i now see what those guys went through when i shut them out of my life without listening to their pleas. No matter how hard i try,i cant just help it and this situation is freaking me out.

dagentility

I don't think i am in the best position to advice here but i believe in any situation. You just need to take a step back to access things.

I would advise you break away from that "environment" temporarily and see things logically. Is it ever worth your cry? Is that thing that is making you go through this worth the stress? Are you doing yourself any good by sticking somewhere that brings you no joy?

Just picture him having fun while you are here soaking it up, crying and making yourself misreable.

I guess it can be hard but please your personal happiness is more important than any other thing. Just stick around. People with more experience in matters of the heart would be here to help you out soon. Just don't do anything drastic please. Don't stay indoors alone. Find time to go visit friends or do something that takes it off your mind. It can be a short walk and don't listen to those love music. It would just keep reminding you of your hurt.

If he doesn't care, we here care about your happiness. Take care and be strong.

@Safari29
You alright?
Are you alright dear? How are you?


@dagentility
Get him out of your system already.
Remember your self worth. You are worth more than many sparrows.
Be strong and forge ahead. Life can be funny, someday he may be the one running back to you.

@Chaircover
How is Madam Chaircover? I hope she is okay.
Not seeing her at the thread.

Angeldemivida
am fine. Am trying to rebuild the k you guys
but I still have problems with myself. I can't pray. Am becoming wild now like bn nasty what I have not been doing before. like am a muslim am supposed to be fasting but I don't because I don't seem to believe in God . nothing interest me again except day dreaming and waiting dor devine intervention.Am finding it hard to rebuild


am a graduate and bn out of job for 4 months. presently I don't have a Job. I believe the rebuild will start properly if I see the job but the job is not just coming

Safari29: Angeldemivida
am fine. Am trying to rebuild the k you guys
but I still have problems with myself. like am a muslim am supposed to be fasting but I don't because I don't seem to believe in God .

Remember what the Prophet said. During all times we shouldn't always look up at people who are better than us, we should also look down at the ladder and see people who we are far better than. This would make us reflect about life and not feel self pity but work hard at pulling out of problems when faced with one.

Don't expect things to magically disappear overnight. It never works that way, you need constant and continous work to reach the destination you are aiming for. Just see this as a little setback that you need to overcome. Yeah we might feel defiant and want to rebel against God but sit down and see if there's any wisdom in that.


There are people who have far worse situations than yours but still give thanks and hope for the better. That should ginger you to endure this and work better and harder to make things work out the way you want. I know you might think , oh it's a feel good talk. Yeah it is. We can only sometimes help each other out with words and encouragement out of the deepest depths when problem strikes, truth is the biggest part of the work has to be done by you.

May He make it easy for you. Amin.