Gooday folks,please i need your candid advice.
on sunday evening,while i was playing football with my two yrs old son in the sitting room,i overheard my wife making a call at the other end of our sitting room.About three minutes after the call i asked her who was on the line,she looked slightly ruffled, "uncle Amos",she said.I expected her to explain further,but she said nothing more,so i demanded who uncle amos is,she only said "you wouldnt know him".since i observed she wasnt ready to talk,i told her i was going to sleep.
The following morning she told me "uncle Amos" teaches in her sister's school,her elder sister has a school in keffi,we reside in kaduna.
The most shoking aspect of the whole drama was when i suggested she delete the number and stop all form of communications,mywife told me she doesnt like the idea,except if i want her to lie to me.she said she can guaranty its just platonic.
I try explaining but she remained adamant.folks,pleas what should i do?I detest divorce and infidelity.

Invite the so-called Uncle Amos for dinner na!

But more seriously, why are you requesting that your wife should delete his number? That smacks of a possessive, insecured jealous husband.

If you sincerely love your wife, divorce should not be the first thing on your mind!

Hmmm this uncle amos nawa o,wetin dem dey discuss for 3 min Looks fishy to me and I don't like the idea one bit. Your wife should sure have her boundaries and know when to short her door. Hmm why did she wait till the next morning before giving you an explanation That's even enough reason to give room for funny thoughts.

There's more to Uncle Amos than your wife has told you. Simply tell her you want to meet Uncle Amos. Ordinarily,she shouldn't have friends you don't know about or who don't know about you.

I wonder.divorce is naw ewedu and okro soup with poundy.
Poster let me ask u,don't u hv female friends? No aunty in ur phone? Common,let sleeping dog lie!
Did ur wife give u reason not to trust her? Chille abeg.
I hv many uncles and bros in my phone.even daddys.
Mr YP has uncountable aunties and sis them for his phone.
There is life outside marriage naw. Its not prison abeg.

I think you went over-board by telling her to delete the number. And to say the next thing that came to your mind is divorce. Are you for real On top a 3-mins call...The truth is no woman wants to be caged, sometimes, you need to trust us a little. Not supporting the idea of not telling you till the 2nd day but you also pass across as too possessive and bossy. That has a way of bringing out rebellion in the other party. I think you should sit her down and air your displeasure in a nice way. Let her know you trust her judgement and you believe she'll do the right thing. She was making the call on the other end of the living room, i guess you could hear what she was saying, if she had something to hide, she could have stylishly walked into the wash-room or something.

My opinion in conclusion is that you both have issues to deal with, since she's not here, I'll say you take the first step by dealing with your insecurites and possessive attitude and carefully let her know you wouldn't condone such attitude in your home. Her friends should be your friend and vice-versa.

This issue of divorce sef, any small thing now na divorce. May God help us!

How is it infidelity? For all you know he may just have been asking her for money. Until you have substantial
evidence of infidelity, I think you should relax. No need ordering her to delete stuff unnecessarily.

To all of you saying this is not infidelity( not that I'm saying it is),
the man knows his wife more than y'all.They have been together for quite some time
and if he asks his wife a question and she says something and the body language is saying something else,
he should be able to know.This is sixth sense working now.
And before you all crucify me,I don't know the man neither the wife but we don't wanna hear
some months down the line that she moved out.
@OP,please keep an open mind and suggest meeting "Uncle Amos" and let's see what happens.
Please keep us updated.
May Peace be in your home.

Seriously! So you hinge your whole marriage on a three minute phone call, cumulating in a divorce? Okay o!

Mavrick2012: Gooday folks,please i need your candid advice.
on sunday evening,while i was playing football with my two yrs old son in the sitting room,i overheard my wife making a call at the other end of our sitting room.

Your wife made the call and not the other way round i.e her being called.

She made that telephone call knowing you were within earshot. Man, doesn't that tell you anything?? If she had anything to hide from you, or something dodgy was going on, trust me, she wouldn't have done that knowing you were around. That action of hers alone should tell you that she is open and has nothing underhanded going own. Seems like you are the one whose got trust issues.

Mavrick2012: About three minutes after the call i asked her who was on the line,she looked slightly ruffled, "uncle Amos",she said.I expected her to explain further,but she said nothing more,so i demanded who uncle amos is,she only said "you wouldnt know him".since i observed she wasnt ready to talk,i told her i was going to sleep.

You demanded an explanation from her (controlling)

You didn't get what you wanted, so you stormed off to bed in a huff (immaturity and pride)

Mavrick2012: The following morning she told me "uncle Amos" teaches in her sister's school,her elder sister has a school in keffi,we reside in kaduna.
The most shoking aspect of the whole drama was when i suggested she delete the number and stop all form of communications,mywife told me she doesnt like the idea,except if i want her to lie to me.she said she can guaranty its just platonic.

A couple of questions her for you:

~ Why should she delete the number? Do you think if she's got anything shady going on with that fellow, deleting his number off her phone will make any difference? What makes you think, even if she does delete that number in your presence, she can't store it under a female name?

~ Even after having slept it off, without any form of discussion with your wife, you suddenly demand she delete's the number? She not only told you that NOTHING is going on, but also goes one step further to let you know that she can guarantee that there is absolutely nothing there, and that it's just platonic.

Mavrick2012: I try explaining but she remained adamant.folks,pleas what should i do?I detest divorce and infidelity.

What was this explanation of yours to her? You say you detest divorce and infidelity and yet, you're the one quick to mention divorce and quick to accuse her of infidelity. Without any rock solid / tangible proof, you haven't got a leg to stand on. Until you're able to prove her guilty of your accusations, she remains innocent.

You want a happy marriage. Then pls don't go looking for trouble when there is none. Don't use your hands to tear down your matrimonial home.

U harsh o! Three minutes call to uncle amos is not enough to divorce na or u don dey vex before please take it easy o before u will see what you are looking for.

Pataki: Invite the so-called Uncle Amos for dinner na!

But more seriously, why are you requesting that your wife should delete his number? That smacks of a possessive, insecured jealous husband.

If you sincerely love your wife, divorce should not be the first thing on your mind!

Tanks 4d advice.i didnt say am tinkin divorc,i said i DETEST(dislike)divorc.tanks again

taryour: Hmmm this uncle amos nawa o,wetin dem dey discuss for 3 min Looks fishy to me and I don't like the idea one bit. Your wife should sure have her boundaries and know when to short her door. Hmm why did she wait till the next morning before giving you an explanation That's even enough reason to give room for funny thoughts.

Yea,waitin til d folowin monin was my headach.on our wedin day i promisd myself never to suspect her over flimsy tins.but she waited a whole nit.tanks

slimyem: There's more to Uncle Amos than your wife has told you. Simply tell her you want to meet Uncle Amos. Ordinarily,she shouldn't have friends you don't know about or who don't know about you.

Exactly wat i told her.she knows virtualy evry number in my fone

yellowpawpaw: I wonder.divorce is naw ewedu and okro soup with poundy.
Poster let me ask u,don't u hv female friends? No aunty in ur phone? Common,let sleeping dog lie!
Did ur wife give u reason not to trust her? Chille abeg.
I hv many uncles and bros in my phone.even daddys.
Mr YP has uncountable aunties and sis them for his phone.
There is life outside marriage naw. Its not prison abeg.

LOL @ ewedu n okro.ma/sir,i didnt say i like divorce,i said i dislike it.weda i hv antis or nt my wife is very much aware of all d numbers in my fone because shes always wit my fone.tanks

dayleke: To all of you saying this is not infidelity( not that I'm saying it is),
the man knows his wife more than y'all.They have been together for quite some time
and if he asks his wife a question and she says something and the body language is saying something else,
he should be able to know.This is sixth sense working now.
And before you all crucify me,I don't know the man neither the wife but we don't wanna hear
some months down the line that she moved out.
@OP,please keep an open mind and suggest meeting "Uncle Amos" and let's see what happens.
Please keep us updated.
May Peace be in your home.

I realy apreciate mybro

If you love football, invite Uncle Amos for dinner and discuss about the transfer window over peppersoup. The discussion will be good for both parties.

Be careful how you police madam oo, do not let insecurity get a better of you.

It is well with you

Mavrick2012: Gooday folks,please i need your candid advice.
on sunday evening,while i was playing football with my two yrs old son in the sitting room,i overheard my wife making a call at the other end of our sitting room.About three minutes after the call i asked her who was on the line,she looked slightly ruffled, "uncle Amos",she said.I expected her to explain further,but she said nothing more,so i demanded who uncle amos is,she only said "you wouldnt know him".since i observed she wasnt ready to talk,i told her i was going to sleep.
The following morning she told me "uncle Amos" teaches in her sister's school,her elder sister has a school in keffi,we reside in kaduna.
The most shoking aspect of the whole drama was when i suggested she delete the number and stop all form of communications,mywife told me she doesnt like the idea,except if i want her to lie to me.she said she can guaranty its just platonic.
I try explaining but she remained adamant.folks,pleas what should i do?I detest divorce and infidelity.

Paranoid much

But on the other hand, if it's just 'platonic', why is she being so cagey about it

na wah . . .

Mavrick2012: Tanks 4d advice.i didnt say am tinkin divorc,i said i DETEST(dislike)divorc.tanks again

Don't mind him, he finds it difficult to understand simple English . .

There is a problem when married people still cite "freedom".

Yes, you are not a slave to your spouse but you have serious commitments and a great part of those your "freedoms" have to give way.
I think it is insultive for the wife to say it is just "platonic".

OP, I am hoping you married a decent woman. Let her know that she devalues herself with such behaviour and if she has any sense of responsibility should cut such relationships to only those absolutely necessary for her to get things done.

@efemena_xy tanks tanks tanks.u know,somtimes emotns deprives one of simple logic.tanks for opening my eyes.but note,i didnt say d call lasted for 3mins,i said 3mins after d call.d duratn was even one of d tins dat made me unconfortable,over 10mins.also,y couldnt she explain til d folowin monin?buy time?uptil now she doesnt even hav an xplanatn to y she couldnt xplain til nxt monin.we not just hus n wife,we also like frnds.i waited 4 almost 10mins yet she couldnt xplain

Ujujoan:

Paranoid much

But on the other hand, if it's just 'platonic', why is she being so cagey about it

na wah . . .


Don't mind him, he finds it difficult to understand simple English . .

Hmmmmmm! Lion like me dey sleep, shey na ordinary cockroach wan wake am up?!

No make me knock sense into ya nkwobi head all over again oh!

bellong: If you love football, invite Uncle Amos for dinner and discuss about the transfer window over peppersoup. The discussion will be good for both parties.

Be careful how you police madam oo, do not let insecurity get a better of you.

It is well with you

lol@ pp sop.Tanks bro,but uncle is in nasarawa state while we recide in kaduna.nagode mallam

Mavrick2012: Tanks 4d advice.i didnt say am tinkin divorc,i said i DETEST(dislike)divorc.tanks again

Please don't play semantics with me. You clearly mentioned divorce in your post. Why would you think to such an extreme end of an issue you don't have a full comprehension on?

As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.

maclatunji: There is a problem when married people still cite "freedom".

Yes, you are not a slave to your spouse but you have serious commitments and a great part of those your "freedoms" have to give way.
I think it is insultive for the wife to say it is just "platonic".

OP, I am hoping you married a decent woman. Let her know that she devalues herself with such behaviour and if she has any sense of responsibility should cut such relationships to only those absolutely necessary for her to get things done.

Hmm,anoda beautiful one.tanks senior.
i observ guys see it d way i see it but ladies are making me feel somhw wrong.well,am getin encoraged to meet her so dat we totalyy resolv it.THATS WHY I LV NL.am stil listening...

Mavrick2012: @efemena_xy tanks tanks tanks.u know,somtimes emotns deprives one of simple logic.tanks for opening my eyes.but note,i didnt say d call lasted for 3mins,i said 3mins after d call.d duratn was even one of d tins dat made me unconfortable,over 10mins.also,y couldnt she explain til d folowin monin?buy time?uptil now she doesnt even hav an xplanatn to y she couldnt xplain til nxt monin.we not just hus n wife,we also like frnds.i waited 4 almost 10mins yet she couldnt xplain

You're welcome Mavrick.

You know, there might be a very simple explanation to the questions you've raised and your wife having not given you an explanation immediately after the call.

I suspect the reason behind all of this dwells on the content of that phone call. I think, now that you're a lot calmer, you should ask her what was discussed with the Amos person and why she seemed so upset immediately after the call. Ask her gently using a calm tone. Let your body language communicate to her that you mean no harm, nor are you suspecting / accusing her of anything.

Show her that you trust her. Like someone mentioned earlier, it might even be a case of money being asked of her, or something along those lines. You said she told you this person works in her sister's school? So it may even be that this person has got issues with your wife's sister and simply called her to report the 'ish' he's got with her. Or maybe, your wife needs to sort out this problem which took her unawares and she (your wife) didn't want to bother you.

D'you see where I'm going with this? It could be any of those...something perfectly innocent. I remember sometime ago, my sister-in-law was going through a lot (financial stress) and used to call me up like 3 times everyday for almost a week! She and I would spend hours on the phone talking, me suggesting what she could do or how best to tackle the issues. It got to the point where my hubby began to feel I was taking too much panadol for another person's headache! (His own brother's wife o! can you imagine?)

So all I'm trying to say here is don't be too hasty with reaching your conclusions. You wifey probably didn't even realise you felt the way you did and during that time, must have been busy formulating a solution of sorts...

Anyway, it is well.

Pataki:
Please don't play semantics with me. You clearly mentioned divorce in your post. Why would you think to such an extreme end of an issue you don't have a full comprehension on?

As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.

OK,now i understand wat u min.pls am so sory if u feel insulted,sincerely am sory

Tanks mrs efemena_xy.just read ur second post.i really apreciate.we will definatly talk dis evenin.tanks ma

Mavrick2012: OK,now i understand wat u min.pls am so sory if u feel insulted,sincerely am sory

Oh no no......you owe me no apologies sir.

I just feel divorce should never be in your thoughts even at the slightest provocation from your wife. That you detest divorce is good, but you should not have brought it up within your topic and more importantly you should not even use it as a threat against your wife either now or in the nearest future should further provocations arise.

God bless.

Poster,I went tru ur replies.nobody is supportin ur wife.any response u got was as a result of ur post.it was too commanding and possessive.
It seems u r in grip of ur emotions again. U can sleep over d matter cos any thing u say now ur wife might be on d defensive.
If its disturbin u so much,do ur investigation but I tell u,it might backfire if wifey is not guilty as charged.
Nagode

Pataki:

Hmmmmmm! Lion like me dey sleep, shey na ordinary cockroach wan wake am up?!

No make me knock sense into ya nkwobi head all over again oh!

Pls go and sit down jor. if your plan is for Tgirl to ban me then back to sender. I've suffered enough ban as it is already.

Go and get married and let us hear word abeg!

yellowpawpaw: Poster,I went tru ur replies.nobody is supportin ur wife.any response u got was as a result of ur post.it was too commanding and possessive.
It seems u r in grip of ur emotions again. U can sleep over d matter cos any thing u say now ur wife might be on d defensive.
If its disturbin u so much,do ur investigation but I tell u,it might backfire if wifey is not guilty as charged.
Nagode

Tank you so much

I don't like it when ladies call another guy 'uncle' when he is not related to you. Just say Amos, a friend of mine.

OP, you don't speak to your female friends?

You should have said, who is Amos? Let's invite him to dinner.
I think you should apologize to your wife. I'm sorry Alleri for what happened yesterday. Please let's invite him over for dinner.