ileobatojo:
What situation? We are all together in the living room and he decides to call and talk to someone right there where I can hear everything they are saying? No, I definitely won't jump to infidelity as the first answer without other supporting evidence.

In this situation he wasnt in the living room he was outside playing ball while wife was in living room.

Supporting evidence was the response of the wife. and she cant delete the number.

I ask How many women would there husband tell that the Sisi Jane I am talking to on the phone for 10minutes is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS yet believe its jumping to conclusion.

The same thing most of them cant take is what they would dish out

Eww,uncle Amos has suffered. If by chance he sees this thread,fear will grip him and he will run for his life whether guilty or not!
Uncle Amos sorry o,next time don't call a married woman!

dayokanu:

In this situation he wasnt in the living room he was outside playing ball while wife was in living room.

Supporting evidence was the response of the wife. and she cant delete the number.

I ask How many women would there husband tell that the Sisi Jane I am talking to on the phone for 10minutes is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS yet believe its jumping to conclusion.

The same thing most of them cant take is what they would dish out

I suggest you read the original post again.

biolabee:

Bolded statement smacks of idealism..

A real marriage without doubt well........

But different strokes for different folks

Op.. ask pointedly who is uncle amos

.


Call it fake or whatever. Maintaining Noble principles is the core of my marriage, you don't know me so shut your face. You among your lot ( mostly lazy, jobless, & alabodos) always doubt my lifestyle so that explains your usual soboloyoke alabosi post.

If you try for once in your NL life and employ your rational mind before spilling your usual crapyy snide posts to attack me, ..........you'll understand my post was based on the subject of discussion on this thread hence infidelity. ........ Not petty and irrelevant arguments & Doubts that happen in marriages .

Infidelity is the First deal breaker for me and that's what I addressed here , all other petty household chores sharing , bank accounts, how many meat in the pot don't bother me.

If OP married ashawo and serial cheat I don't see why he's here otherwise he should leave her alone and be reasonable about his ridiculous demand ( an order to delete a contact # just cos he doesn't know the mysterious Uncle Amos)

I haven't sent for you yet Biola stop tripping!

you are the one tripping...

U said doubts ... I have to take ur words literally as im not a seer

I thought u just resumed... and already u r geared for war

Statements like yours lead to wondering if having doubts in any marriage is abnormal

You should been more explicit....

^^^ I owe you NO detailed explanation as the Topic of the Thread said it all and your objective rationalization should've clicked when reading people's post rather than spark firecracker because its from Jydoe.

OR maybe a simple 'explain' would've made the statement clearer to your pretentious uncleared mind.


I'm always geared for War... I don't trust anybody here.

Hahahahah

You dont have to trust no one
This is a cyber world

Just come, laugh and go

I cant be hassling in the real world n still be hassling here
In the superb words of tolexander

nairaland is like a toilet built by seun, where different people(members) come to poo. The moderators are poo caretakers and the guests, flies. Unfortunately, many members fight on top poo

yellowpawpaw: Eww,uncle Amos has suffered. If by chance he sees this thread,fear will grip him and he will run for his life whether guilty or not!
Uncle Amos sorry o,next time don't call a married woman!

Choi!!

He didn't call her. She called him, even though she knew her hubby was within earshot.

Mavrick2012: Gooday folks,please i need your candid advice.
on sunday evening,while i was playing football with my two yrs old son in the sitting room,i overheard my wife making a call at the other end of our sitting room.About three minutes after the call i asked her who was on the line,she looked slightly ruffled, "uncle Amos",she said.I expected her to explain further,but she said nothing more,so i demanded who uncle amos is,she only said "you wouldnt know him".since i observed she wasnt ready to talk,i told her i was going to sleep.
The following morning she told me "uncle Amos" teaches in her sister's school,her elder sister has a school in keffi,we reside in kaduna.
The most shoking aspect of the whole drama was when i suggested she delete the number and stop all form of communications,mywife told me she doesnt like the idea,except if i want her to lie to me.she said she can guaranty its just platonic.
I try explaining but she remained adamant.folks,pleas what should i do?I detest divorce and infidelity

you are being taken for a ride - uncle amos is screwing your wife. go and DNA-test your child ASAP before you are told the shocking news when you plan going to america......

Efemena_xy:

Choi!!

He didn't call her. She called him, even though she knew her hubby was within earshot.

Ok o! Sorry o! Old age has come. Where is that my reading glass?

Uncle Amos,from today henceforth, anytime madam calls,don't answer or better still block her number.
Oga madam is spitting fire! So run run run.

coogar:

you are being taken for a ride - uncle amos is screwing your wife. go and DNA-test your child ASAP before you are told the shocking news when you plan going to america......

Bingo for tpia!

Your spouse has every right to know who you are speaking with and what you spoke about.what is the need for all these platonic appendages married folks love to dangle around at the detriment of their marriages?Marriages are easier without them.I won't blink before deleting anyone that makes my spouse uncomfortable and I expect the same.In my world,you lost your privacy the day you chose to get married, why will you need privacy if you are not hiding something??


@OP,you have every right to know who this uncle Amos is and what your wife is discussing with him.if you keep female friends too then this advice doesn't apply to you,let your wife keep her uncle Amos.

House,thanks for all the contributions,i sincerely apreciate everybody.
I spoke with my wife yesday.concerning what they discussed for over 10mins,she said it was "all about us",ie they discussed me and her.I tried to know more about the "us" discussion,precisely when the relatnshp startd and the essence of the relatnshp.well,despite the friendly atmosphere,mywife insinuated i "no longer" trust her and she isnt happy about that.I called her attentn to the fact that this is the 1st time,after almost 3yrs of marriage,that i will be asking her these questions.Also,drawing frm sombody's advice here(NL),I reminded her of our no-opposite-sex-friendship.She became unwilling to continue the discussion,she said she wish we just "laugh it off".
Well,just as another person adviced here,i decided to just let the sleeping dog continue its sleep,knowing she can easily get provoked,though i feel this is just sweeping the dirt under the capet.
my people,thanks once more.

If she has never lied to you before,she is doing it now.People will always play the "You don't trust me "card when they are lying.Sweeping under the carpet solves nothing for all the dirts will start creeping up when beneath the carpet can't hold them anymore.

Sweeping under the carpet solves nothing for all the dirts will start creeping up when beneath the carpet can't hold them anymore.

Roaches will start creeping out too

Oga, when the root of a matter is not addressed, it begins to spread branches and extensions. I will not buy the idea of sweeping under the carpet because its obvious you are concerned and interested.

Please, to forestall future ugly incidents, you both have to address it now to the satisfaction of both parties. If its not done, a seed of distrust is already planted in your heart and every suspicious move by her will generate irrational response from you.

She is your wife, she shouldn't turn harmless and friendly discussion into a fight if she doesn't have anything in her cupboard. Deal with it now.

I earlier suggested you have a talk with the said person, that's in company with your wife for the following reasons and I hope its applicable to you.

You never suspected nor caught your wife of infidelity before neither did you explained if she has male friends known to you. For her telling you the said Uncle Amos is a platonic friend, I operate on my wife's friend is my friend. Bring your friends close and your enemies (including perceived) closer. If Uncle Amos is her first attempt of making male friends, you forcing her to bring him closer will put caution in her for such related future friendship. Knowing fully well that whoever she wants to be a friend to, her husband will also be interested. It is for check and balance, I needed not explain in details, I believe you get the gist.

Most importantly, do not leave the issue unsettled, it is what Yorubas call "ageku ejo" (can't interprete properly but means unsettled matter)

It is well with you.

byvan: If she has never lied to you before,she is doing it now.People will always play the "You don't trust me "card when they are lying.Sweeping under the carpet solves nothing for all the dirts will start creeping up when beneath the carpet can't hold them anymore.

Tanks ma

@bellong,i really get the "gist".thanks alot

Mavrick2012: House,thanks for all the contributions,i sincerely apreciate everybody.
I spoke with my wife yesday.concerning what they discussed for over 10mins,she said it was "all about us",ie they discussed me and her.I tried to know more about the "us" discussion,precisely when the relatnshp startd and the essence of the relatnshp.well,despite the friendly atmosphere,mywife insinuated i "no longer" trust her and she isnt happy about that.I called her attentn to the fact that this is the 1st time,after almost 3yrs of marriage,that i will be asking her these questions.Also,drawing frm sombody's advice here(NL),I reminded her of our no-opposite-sex-friendship.She became unwilling to continue the discussion,she said she wish we just "laugh it off".
Well,just as another person adviced here,i decided to just let the sleeping dog continue its sleep,knowing she can easily get provoked,though i feel this is just sweeping the dirt under the capet.
my people,thanks once more.

Okay, seeing as you've made up your mind that madam's playing a fast one on you, no need to bash your head against the wall with endless questions and sleepless nights. Here, this will help put your mind at rest:

1. If you have a good old-fashioned land line (assuming NITEL still dey para for una), phone sleuthing is easy.

~ Take a spare to somewhere in the house where wifey rarely goes, and plug it into the phone jack. Unscrew and remove the mouthpiece (ahead of time) so that your sotto voice epithets will not give your sleuthing away.

~ When you hear her shout "I've got it, honey" (cause you just know it's her), go to your war room and very carefully lift the receiver off the hook. Don't be too gentle: wiggling the buttons will make a clickety sound on the line that will get you busted.

2. Press Record Now.

~ If you're pretty sure wifey is not going to call up her burning biscuit of bliss a.k.a Uncle Amos, while you're around, but that she may not be able to resist a little sneaky call when she thinks you're not looking; or her cohort in canoodling (Uncle Amos) may just have to hear his lover's voice before wifey goes to bed with "him", recording the conversation might work. If you plan ahead, you can tap the airwaves as wifey taps her inner Don Juan.

~ If you have a smart phone or a feature phone with a recorder, set the earpiece of the headset next to the microphone, and record the lovey-dovey ramblings for posterity. If the jig is up, and you have what you need, then no need to wait. Confront the louse wifey with her toothbrush and an overnight bag, and send her out without her dessert. If it turns out, however, that the phone was her Uncle Amos confirming this Thursday's rendezvous, whip up her favourite dessert, and serve it up with a smile.

3. Use a baby monitor. This is the cheap, low-tech way of listening in.

~ Shebi una two get pikin? Wait till madam goes out "shopping" one day, and hit the local gizmo shop. Get a basic baby monitor, a can of spray paint that will blend with where you will put the transmitter, and a roll of matching masking tape (in case the transmitter has blinky LEDs on it).

~ Paint the transmitter (the baby/secret side) with the spray paint. Cover up the microphone hole before you paint so you don't gum up the works, and don't over-paint. You don't want that thing to be stinking up the house.

~ Go to the room where you think she'll be making throaty sounds with her licentious Uncle Amos, and cache the transmitter in a discrete location where she's unlikely to look. Behind some books, or the couch, or if you're really hapless, somewhere in the bedroom or bath.

~ Power it up, and put a portable radio in the room turned down to about human-whisper-and-giggle level. Go into your man cave, and turn on the receiver. Can you hear the radio? If so, you're ready to go. If not, make adjustments until you can hear the transmitter signal clearly.

~ When that phone call comes, and she says "I have to get this... it's work," say, "Okay, honey, I'll be in the man cave surfing the 'Net for..." (You can say anything there: after she hears Okay, honey, I'll be..., she'll already have too much adrenaline pumping through her to hear you, anyway.) Go to your room, turn on the monitor, power up your recorder (phone, tape, whatever you've got), and listen to what happens next. Should you hear what you fear, call her a taxi, and send wifey on a one-way ticket back to her mama and papa's home.
Of course, if you hear "Okay, I'll have that report by tomorrow, boss, and I.... wait, what's this... a transmitter?," you might want to take that taxi yourself. You're going to be in hot water (and rightly too).


4. Record digitally with a digital recorder.

There is a range of digital records, from pens, or thumb drives, or even phone look-alikes that are voice activated. That means you can just set one wherever you think your madam may go for her phone fun, and when it happens, the electrical spy will spring into action, like a steel trap. Check that trap at your
convenience, and good luck!

5. Break all trust and spy on your honey's personal communications.

~ Direct access of your cheating cherie's phone can reveal a lot—especially texts and tweets. Her close friends will be quite frank with advice and what they think. You may find the texts that are sent give you more insight than the ones received. A regular check will give you an idea of how things are progressing. Watch out for the use of false names so that if an incoming message arrives at an awkward moment, the false name gives nothing away.

~ Check email. Another way Uncle Amos will schedule snogging sessions with madam is to send her emails or chat online. What if every email or conversation that your wifey sends online got mailed to you to read? It's possible you know. Software called remote spy software records all of her emails, chats, instant messages, web sites visited and keystrokes and then automatically copies this recorded information to your email address.

~ Unless your wifey is very careful, you can also pop onto her computer (or phone) when she is not around, and look at history, recent applications, and other breadcrumbs to follow the trail of the philandering fink. Maybe a little email planning for the next romantic rendezvous with Uncle Amos, or some online hot chat logs.

~ The lout wifey who is having the affair will quickly try to prevent you seeing emails through the use of passwords and saving the emails under different file names. To gain access initially, you may try using her typical passwords as a starting point. If that doesn't work, a Google search will easily find specialized software that can hack passwords.

I hope this helps. Thank (and pay) me later.

Haba.. This one na ed snowden runz

He said he has swept the matter away

All is well

biolabee: Haba.. This one na ed snowden runz

He said he has swept the matter away

All is well

He has not o!

I dey help am catch that 'sneaky, two-timing' madam...

@OP: If that one nor do you, I fit give you more handy tips, so you fit put the final nail on the coffin...

Efemena_xy:

He has not o!

I dey help am catch that 'sneaky, two-timing' madam...

@OP: If that one nor do you, I fit give you more handy tips, so you fit put the final nail on the coffin...

His exact words/...

Also,drawing frm sombody's advice here(NL),I reminded her of our no-opposite-sex-friendship.She became unwilling to continue the discussion,she said she wish we just "laugh it off".
Well,just as another person adviced here,i decided to just let the sleeping dog continue its sleep,knowing she can easily get provoked,though i feel this is just sweeping the dirt under the capet.

The wife has chosen her happiness over true marital peace and he wants to play along
I hope she does not regret her stand

Thanks @efemena,sory,i realy dnt think i need all those.tanks

^^ No wahala

Mavrick2012: Thanks @efemena,sory,i realy dnt think i need all those.tanks

why not consult okija-juju - he's a member of this forum and a very potent chief priest. he has single-handedly caught 1,457 philandering partners in nigeria. his fee is less than $30 and i can assure you uncle amos would soon be caught stuck inside your wife(if your wife is cheating).

coogar:

why not consult okija-juju - he's a member of this forum and a very potent chief priest. he has single-handedly caught 1,457 philandering partners in nigeria. his fee is less than $30 and i can assure you uncle amos would soon be caught stuck inside your wife(if your wife is cheating).

Cheii!!

Mavrick2012: Thanks @efemena,sory,i realy dnt think i need all those.tanks

Actually, can I ask why you won't be needing 'all those'? Afterall, you do want to know whether or not your wifey is cheating, abi?

Additionally, that's what the title of this thread of yours implies: Is This Not Infidelity??

One more thing, while you're at it, be sure to hire a Private Investigator to trail her movements when she's out of the house. A good PI would be sure to send you photographs of everyone she communicates with, and would tape her conversations on the outside too. All you need to do is secure that undetectable microphone on her buba / Iro blouse...

Whether the wife is cheating now, I can't tell, but she is definitely the seeds for marital chaos in her marriage. Why on earth will a married woman be discussing her husband with another man. Before you know it this man will start comparing the Op to the husband then something else will start. She can have male friends but a woman should know the extent of the gist with her male friends

Keffi and kaduna you say, why not go there and find out by yourself the source of your headache for fucckk sake. She would have told you it is one of her female friends but she choose to tell the truth. Surely it might be platonic after all.
And I think your wife is afraid of you. Create a communication inducing atmosphere in your home for free flow of thoughts, ideas, suggestions etc.
May be Uncle helped the sister to gain admission and they are still owing him.
Explore before causing for yourself an incurable migraine

@ Efe

How to catch a cheater 101

Mini and advance way to catch a cheating wifey ko

Efemena_xy:

Cheii!!



Actually, can I ask why you won't be needing 'all those'? Afterall, you do want to know whether or not your wifey is cheating, abi?

Additionally, that's what the title of this thread of yours implies: Is This Not Infidelity??

One more thing, while you're at it, be sure to hire a Private Investigator to trail her movements when she's out of the house. A good PI would be sure to send you photographs of everyone she communicates with, and would tape her conversations on the outside too. All you need to do is secure that undetectable microphone on her buba / Iro blouse...

.

The heavy work is too much for Mav.
To be a Maverick is no joke, ask John McCain

^^ Lol!

biolabee:

His exact words/...

The wife has chosen her happiness over true marital peace and he wants to play along
I hope she does not regret her stand

Like I would say, what is happiness and what is true martial peace?

There is no true peace without happiness

@OP:

I do not believe in having separate friends in a relation i.e. courtship or marriage. Your wife has to define who 'Uncle Amos' is. However, you have to be diplomatic about it.

It's well

Lace her with potent MAGUN and watch Uncle Amos somersault 3 times