dayokanu: Lace her with potent MAGUN and watch Uncle Amos somersault 3 times

dayokanu: Lace her with potent MAGUN and watch Uncle Amos somersault 3 times

Pataki:

MAGUN (Don't climb) does not work. Scientists have been able to prove that entrance from behind (in this instance - duggy) automatically renders the potent MAGUN useless.

Uncle Amos knows this already.

Efemena_xy:



Kai!! This man who happens to be everyone's uncle don suffer...Uncle Amos, see wetin 10 minute discussion don do you

bukatyne:

Like I would say, what is happiness and what is true martial peace?

There is no true peace without happiness

@OP:

I do not believe in having separate friends in a relation i.e. courtship or marriage. Your wife has to define who 'Uncle Amos' is. However, you have to be diplomatic about it.

It's well

biolabee: To you what does happiness or peace mean in respect to a dispute where both parties have strong views

bukatyne:

Peace and happiness are two complete different things.

There can be peace without happiness. Infact, most 'peaceful' marriages are not happy because one party has lost him/herself to let quiet reign in the home. If I am a servant, I will obey my master to have 'peace' but I will never be happy.

As to a dispute where both parties have 'strong' i.e. differing views, they have to go to the table, lay down their points and make the best decision for the all parties concerned.

In the OP's case, the wife is very wrong. The husband didn't need to ask before she divulged the necessary info. Even if the man was begging, toasting etc. she should have told him. She even said she was talking about the hubby. what was she saying that she didn't want him to know about? Even if she was reporting him in a playful way, she could have been saying 'don't mind him, he doesn't take care of me ooo' and be making faces at him or caressing him sef. There is nothing like 'seperate' or individual friends in marriage. Uncle Amos should be uncle to the couple and same with Aunt Amina. Even if Amos is toasting her, she could be able to tell her hubby what is going on.

However, this is eventually depend on the communication system the couple adopted in the past. If the hubby is the C - in - C that the wife cannot approach his royal throne without previous permission, then the wife cannot become open now.

utumunta: When a woman wants to tell a lie and none is at hand to supply, she flies into a rage and throw tantrums. She'd rant about you not trusting her.
Why would it take your wife another day to tell you about a phone call? Men, someone is grinding your something.

Mavrick2012: House,thanks for all the contributions,i sincerely apreciate everybody.
I spoke with my wife yesday.concerning what they discussed for over 10mins,she said it was "all about us",ie they discussed me and her.I tried to know more about the "us" discussion,precisely when the relatnshp startd and the essence of the relatnshp.well,despite the friendly atmosphere,mywife insinuated i "no longer" trust her and she isnt happy about that.I called her attentn to the fact that this is the 1st time,after almost 3yrs of marriage,that i will be asking her these questions.Also,drawing frm sombody's advice here(NL),I reminded her of our no-opposite-sex-friendship.She became unwilling to continue the discussion,she said she wish we just "laugh it off".
Well,just as another person adviced here,i decided to just let the sleeping dog continue its sleep,knowing she can easily get provoked,though i feel this is just sweeping the dirt under the capet.
my people,thanks once more.

maclatunji:

Why is your wife "hiding" something from you? This is so sad.

jidegirl12:

I take this Holy month beg una, don't judge what you don't know it's facts. There're two sides to every story.

Sad to read . He should take a chill pill and sleep on it. Some men deserves to be lied to shikena. Tell them the truth wahala, you dont tell them = Peace.....

I bet if he spots a gay guy fix her makeup , he will faint



Yen yen yen

biolabee:

Why I said she is happy as she has her way but the man has lost his peace n trust?
Agree with you on tabling matter but it is easier said than done
One party may always have the more logical views seemingly having better or a bigger picture than the other

How do you manage inevitable resentment

alutacontinua: @bukatyne, sometimes, you know you need to come down from this your whole equality ladder, right
And by that, I mean in the real deal of when you get married.
For now, you can keep publishing it, it's all well and good!
The truth remains there would be moments when you just have to do it, not because you want to but because he wants you to. Apparently, that wouldn't be an everyday occurrence since you're not into a slave-trade thingy but it would definitely happen. If you expect a man to always share it with you in love and take your views into consideration, you might be on a long thing. There are times when you just have to be the one to swallow your views and follow his. If that is in anyway against your feminism views, I'm sorry but it's the truth.


That's why I love kulyie, a real feminist is not supposed to bother to marry an African man.

Disclaimer: All ye Feminists, I hail all of una and you all know I love you, the above is not to undermine your authority, just wanted to point something out quickly to Sis. Bukatyne. Abeg, una shld not open fire on top my head, na beg I dey. THANKS FOR THE USUAL CO-OPERATION!

bukatyne:

Hi Aluta,

Everything in life does not point to feminism.

I am a Christian first before being a lady/feminist/whatever and I believe so much in 'Do unto others as you want others to do unto you' as it is the golden rule.

It also depends on how you interpret equality. Can you please define what you mean by equality so that we are on the same page?

Thanks

alutacontinua:

Equality: state of being equal. In this context, i'll say same level of authority.

Define your own equality.

maclatunji:


A lack of trust might be worse than sincere admission of faults by the wife here. The only reason you are forming "lady cool" on this topic is that your husband has not given you big reasons for suspicion. If he does, you will become something else.

bukatyne:

I know that a man and woman are equal.

I also want to believe that you are talking in context of marriage.

A husband is to love his wife and a wife is to submit

biolabee: i have to give it to kulyie.. she keeps it real

i think buka is tryin to merge religion with her values of equality..

submission as defined in the bible at times run counter to equality FACT!

For your desire shall be to the man and he shall RULE over you... Na Bible talk am oooo

ish

alutacontinua:
Take for instance, the thread where the man said his wife should kneel to apologize, i'm very sure if it were you feminists that got to that thread first, you could have filled her head with all forms of 'ish' on how he wouldn't do same if roles were reversed, you shouldn't kneel for a mortal man,

jidegirl12: Aluta the Marriage Manual Guru

Record screeching

ermm excuse my longauge which thread is this again?? To much quanta everywhere.

Take a chill pill guys nobody's dead

alutacontinua:

That's the point, you see that submission, sometimes, it won't be the easiest of tasks but you still have to do it. Mind you, it's not all the time that the man asks you to do something that he doesn't love you, sometimes, they're just tryna prove a point to you. Take for instance, the thread where the man said his wife should kneel to apologize, i'm very sure if it were you feminists that got to that thread first, you could have filled her head with all forms of 'ish' on how he wouldn't do same if roles were reversed, you shouldn't kneel for a mortal man, it's even wrong of him to insist that the wife does what she doesn't want to do and all of that. But alas, that man just needed to prove a point to that woman and he still remains the same loving man that she married in the first instance.

My point: Submission is not just in words and sometimes, it goes against the stance of feminism...it wouldn't always be fun submitting but if you say you're a Christian first, you have to shelve aside your feminism views and build your home the way Christ wants you to. I wouldn't be saying all of these if i've not seen the way you seem to uphold your religious views, there are many feminists on here and I sincerely don't have anything against any of them.

ileobatojo:

And on what basis do you make this ridiculous claim? Can you not understand the simple differences between that thread and a thread where for instance a man orders his wife to kneel for him every time she serves him food?