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How Open Should One Be In Marriage? - Family (2) - Nairaland

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How Open Should One Be In Marriage? / What's A Woman's Duty In Marriage? / How to Ask Your Girlfriend's Parents For Her Hand in Marriage? (2) (3) (4)

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Re: How Open Should One Be In Marriage? by OCTAVO: 5:43pm On Jul 31, 2013
Brb
Re: How Open Should One Be In Marriage? by Cecero(m): 5:48pm On Jul 31, 2013
maka y kwanu, so if i finally land ds otepu wey i don dey prospect i go come open mouth say, 'honey, i just landed me a new swt sixteen'
Re: How Open Should One Be In Marriage? by daryoor(m): 5:49pm On Jul 31, 2013
man- baby, u know we promised to always share and never hide anytin.
Woman- yes..
Man- So u need to know dat....
*i married u cause yr dad is rich
*I'm sleepin wit yr sister
*the five yrs saving is not in fixed deposit, i lost it on a man u - chelsea bet
* i'll divorce yr wen iv made enough out of u

Woman- i also forgot to tell u dat our familys cult needed me to marry so that my husband blood will be used to update our status

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Open Should One Be In Marriage? by lemon10(m): 5:55pm On Jul 31, 2013
daryoor: man- baby, u know we promised to always share and never hide anytin.
Woman- yes..
Man- So u need to know dat....
*i married u cause yr dad is rich
*I'm sleepin wit yr sister
*the five yrs saving is not in fixed deposit, i lost it on a man u - chelsea bet
* i'll divorce yr wen iv made enough out of u

Woman- i also forgot to tell u dat our familys cult needed me to marry so that my husband blood will be used to update our status


Re: How Open Should One Be In Marriage? by nbright: 6:05pm On Jul 31, 2013
o
Re: How Open Should One Be In Marriage? by freecocoa(f): 6:11pm On Jul 31, 2013
I believe one should be open about his or herself in the relationship, its not everything that you should go spewing to your partner except it is absolutely necessary.

1 Like

Re: How Open Should One Be In Marriage? by ucube: 6:36pm On Jul 31, 2013
Well I think being open is good but somethings are better left unsaid.cos for example telling ur partner u had abortion or lived a dirty life could scare him cos maturity differs cos I wonder hw d guy eyeing beverly Ada Osu would take it saying on national tv she had abortion and sleeps around to kip her family if I be man I go fear small o hahahaha
Re: How Open Should One Be In Marriage? by niggi4life(m): 6:59pm On Jul 31, 2013
daryoor: man- baby, u know we promised to always share and never hide anytin.
Woman- yes..
Man- So u need to know dat....
*i married u cause yr dad is rich
*I'm sleepin wit yr sister
*the five yrs saving is not in fixed deposit, i lost it on a man u - chelsea bet
* i'll divorce yr wen iv made enough out of u

Woman- i also forgot to tell u dat our familys cult needed me to marry so that my husband blood will be used to update our status


hahahahahahahahaha cant stop laffin
Re: How Open Should One Be In Marriage? by Assalaam(f): 7:04pm On Jul 31, 2013
It depends on the person involve, there is no crime in openness so far you are convince about the personality of the person you are dealing with. If you fall on wrong hand, you will regret ever doing so. Infact, its better imagine than experienced because it hurts and its takes the glory of GOD to survive the shock.

1 Like

Re: How Open Should One Be In Marriage? by dBard: 7:06pm On Jul 31, 2013
chaircover: As a married man/woman you should be wise and mature enough to know what things should be shared and the consequences of sharing/not sharing them

using the op as an example, If for example your spouse is the type that holds grudges, isnt mature enough to know how to handle conflict and there are already issues with the inlaws, then what benefit does it serve to tell him/her about what aunty joy or uncle barry said about him/her

for once I dont agree wit u.
Openness doesnt come wit conditions,it is a choice u make n abide totally by.
Once u start bin selective abt it,then ur no longer open n it all goes downhill frm dre.
If 2 has bcum 1, then 1 =1..dres no division, no hiding, no secrets.
Not yet married but practising it wit my fiancee. not yet100% tho but soon..
Re: How Open Should One Be In Marriage? by dBard: 7:07pm On Jul 31, 2013
chaircover: As a married man/woman you should be wise and mature enough to know what things should be shared and the consequences of sharing/not sharing them

using the op as an example, If for example your spouse is the type that holds grudges, isnt mature enough to know how to handle conflict and there are already issues with the inlaws, then what benefit does it serve to tell him/her about what aunty joy or uncle barry said about him/her

for once I dont agree wit u tongue.
Openness doesnt come wit conditions,it is a choice u make n abide totally by.
Once u start bin selective abt it,then ur no longer open n it all goes downhill frm dre.
If 2 has bcum 1, then 1 =1..dres no division, no hiding, no secrets.
Not yet married but practising it wit my fiancee. not yet100% tho but soon..
Re: How Open Should One Be In Marriage? by badmeat(m): 7:18pm On Jul 31, 2013
Open?nnegbe!how do I tell wify that my axial rod has been compromised by the bucal cavity of a female homo sapian with easy virtue sad
Re: How Open Should One Be In Marriage? by WAM1(f): 7:48pm On Jul 31, 2013
I have also pondered on this question. From my experience being entirely open has not been the best- some people( esecially the guys) just lack the understanding and cannot process things adequately.I have found out and observed that saying that which is necessarily works. Guys are not complicated beings anyways- so basic information is good enough I would suppose.

Be open with things that affect the both of you but apply wisdom to other things especially if it has to do with the in laws. I like to look at it as not keeping secrets ( you could let it out if push comes to shove) but as saying what is necessary and needed.

1 Like

Re: How Open Should One Be In Marriage? by Rooneyboy(m): 7:49pm On Jul 31, 2013
seedord247:

What are you trying to say maybe i can help summarize it.

Funny thing is, she claims to be a grammarian and a lawyer in the making grin grin grin

2 Likes

Re: How Open Should One Be In Marriage? by Nobody: 7:54pm On Jul 31, 2013
When my family or friends tell me something that I should keep to myself, I will. Husband or not, I'm not going to betray people who trust me. Even if a friend confides her marriage Problems to me, I will keep them to myself, out of respect. Such conversations have nothing to do with my marriage.

5 Likes

Re: How Open Should One Be In Marriage? by Nobody: 8:02pm On Jul 31, 2013
When you are married, you will know what to share and what not to share with your spouse.

2 Likes

Re: How Open Should One Be In Marriage? by Nobody: 8:12pm On Jul 31, 2013
Re: How Open Should One Be In Marriage? by stylesco: 8:28pm On Jul 31, 2013
My dear don't EVER try being so open.

My brothers engagement broke cause the fiance was talking like that.
My father said this,
My sister said that

My family became so pissed and started resenting her and her family.

Now they aint together anymore.

1 Like

Re: How Open Should One Be In Marriage? by obowunmi(m): 8:31pm On Jul 31, 2013
Be Wise! Not everyone needs to know everything.

2 Likes

Re: How Open Should One Be In Marriage? by Ayab1203(f): 8:43pm On Jul 31, 2013
Marriage na user defined ! If u see d need to, keep ur secret , secret, and spill only wen absolutely necessary! The thing u don't know won't kill u . Abi?

1 Like

Re: How Open Should One Be In Marriage? by nbright: 8:48pm On Jul 31, 2013
WAM?:
I have also pondered on this question. From my experience being entirely open has not been the best- some people( esecially the guys) just lack the understanding and cannot process things adequately.I have found out and observed that saying that which is necessarily works. Guys are not complicated beings anyways- so basic information is good enough I would suppose.

Be open with things that affect the both of you but apply wisdom to other things especially if it has to do with the in laws. I like to look at it as not keeping secrets ( you could let it out if push comes to shove) but as saying what is necessary and needed.
Guys don suffer
Re: How Open Should One Be In Marriage? by kunle4toyeyaho: 8:49pm On Jul 31, 2013
@op u shuld be open about things dt affect/concern both of u,however issues dt has to do with family shuld b filtered cos at times tellin ur spouse this things wil diminish you in his eyes n dere are some spouses dt wil use it against each oda wen they av issues.

1 Like

Re: How Open Should One Be In Marriage? by snthesis(m): 9:15pm On Jul 31, 2013
WAM?:
I have also pondered on this question. From my experience being entirely open has not been the best- some people( esecially the guys) just lack the understanding and cannot process things adequately.I have found out and observed that saying that which is necessarily works. Guys are not complicated beings anyways- so basic information is good enough I would suppose.

Be open with things that affect the both of you but apply wisdom to other things especially if it has to do with the in laws. I like to look at it as not keeping secrets ( you could let it out if push comes to shove) but as saying what is necessary and needed.
thatz wat my ex did, alwayz withholding info thinking i was too immature to handle it, but in the end i still got the info and by then d damage had been done
Re: How Open Should One Be In Marriage? by biafranqueen: 9:48pm On Jul 31, 2013
chaircover: As a married man/woman you should be wise and mature enough to know what things should be shared and the consequences of sharing/not sharing them

using the op as an example, If for example your spouse is the type that holds grudges, isnt mature enough to know how to handle conflict and there are already issues with the inlaws, then what benefit does it serve to tell him/her about what aunty joy or uncle barry said about him/her
that is gossip and opioion is like Nash everyone has one. I learned early in my marriage you don't gossip/ share what someone else says about your husband or anyone at that matter. Focus on you if you have something to share let it be about you and the childeren.
Re: How Open Should One Be In Marriage? by russianyuri: 10:47pm On Jul 31, 2013
When you are drunk --> Remember you are MARRIED (if you can)
When you are angry --> Remember you are MARRIED

NEVER EVER TELL THE "WHOLE" TRUTH TO SOMEONE YOU LIVE WITH EVERYDAY. You WILL be judged every other day!
Re: How Open Should One Be In Marriage? by kcjazz(m): 11:00pm On Jul 31, 2013
Openness in marriage communication is about wisdom, discernment and responsibility. Wisdom to know the right time to ask/talk. Discernment to understand your partner's response. Responsibility to understand the consequence of your actions. If biblical Abraham was open to Sarah he wouldn't have taken their only son for sacrifice. No mother will allow that.

5 Likes

Re: How Open Should One Be In Marriage? by olalekan1(m): 11:20pm On Jul 31, 2013
Why must u tell him/her everything, you called urself a married man or woman and by tradition a married man or woman must be matured enough to know the consequence of everything u told ur spouse. For example he/she should know what will make him/her happy, mad at any point in time. Ur wife tell u everything and u urself knew how important those things are to u, won't u say in ur mind that she is wasting her time. The same thing goes to the husband. To me openness can be 100% when important thing is opened for discussion.
Re: How Open Should One Be In Marriage? by touchmeder: 11:35pm On Jul 31, 2013
Be open as much as possible but I believe they are some silly things your spouse can do without "my mum thinks you are poor and if we marry I will suffer in your house,even my sister said so too""I wish we did 69,my ex used to do it so well.you will never agree to do it and the only time you did it was a mess""my pastor said you are a wizard and we had to fast to break the spell,remember that full week I fasted that was the reason" etc etc

1 Like

Re: How Open Should One Be In Marriage? by mpeg(m): 12:19am On Aug 01, 2013
My dear marriage is for better or worse till death come around, whether dvorce, separate, or whatsoever, only death can separate marrige.
Moreover there is nothing that happen on this earth that is new, it must has happend elswere befor, so whats the need of keeping secret to your spouse? untold and unreveld secrets hase spoild so many marriage $ families today in world, reason is that when the something escarlet, it must has been late and may not be able to comprehend. so be open to your spous, tell him/her everything both the past and presents. if i may ask, how long can you hide that secret? even at your death, the secret will still reveal itself, reason is that there is nothing hiding under the sun.
I rest my case.
Re: How Open Should One Be In Marriage? by ezwinner: 12:27am On Aug 01, 2013
Marriage so long as I am concerned does not have a definite formula. The first question should be 'Who is your spouse?'The answer to this question has a lot to do in your relationship or openness as the case maybe. It is a clear application of wisdom. It's good to be 100% open but what if it is likely to cause a very big problem; u might reduce the percentage at that instance. Some people easily forgive while others, any ill done to them is revenged and they always want the bitterness to last for long if not forever - So for these different people, different approach is required.
Re: How Open Should One Be In Marriage? by jendell: 1:07am On Aug 01, 2013
I'll b 100% open 2 my husband abt mysef nd importnt bits abt my family nd loved ones,.sm1 once said i shd nt press 2 knw certain secrets dat dnt mata cos such secrets might wreck my life nd my r/ship wit God.B4 u open ur mouth 2 let out a secret abt ur loved 1 or sm1 dat confided in u,ask ursef,of wat value will it add 2 dis marriage?No mata hw matured ur partner is in dealing wit issues,help him/her 2 battle hate,pain,un4giveness dt might follow as a result of wt u said ur moda said
Re: How Open Should One Be In Marriage? by venty(f): 6:32am On Aug 01, 2013
i believe you should study your man first before been too open to him.some men even gossip more than women.i have been to a family where their father talk everything about his family to outsiders(my wife can't cook,my inlaws are stingy people,my wife is dirty blah,blah blah,and when his wife come home he pretends to be perfect...oh darl how was your day)as a matter of fact most men can't keep secret like we think,they only appear calm and trustworthy but are not secretive...so study your man very well before reveiwing everything to him,and he can even use it againts you someday!

1 Like

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