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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / What's A Woman's Duty In Marriage? (17553 Views)
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What's A Woman's Duty In Marriage? by kanayo74(m): 10:15am On Apr 17, 2009 |
I keep on wondering whats the duty of a woman in marriage? you marry a wife who does virtally notyhing at home, she cant wash the bed sheet both of u sleep, she cant cook she doesnt wash your clothes and so on when u coplain you u become the nagging husband. so please nairalanders WHAT ACTUALLY IS THE DUTY OF A WOMAN IN MARRIAGE |
Re: What's A Woman's Duty In Marriage? by Nobody: 10:40am On Apr 17, 2009 |
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Re: What's A Woman's Duty In Marriage? by kanayo74(m): 11:59am On Apr 17, 2009 |
the parties concerned actually put a lot of things into consideration and an agreement was reached but later breached what do u do? as u wrote every woman should strive towards becoming a virtuous woman which is true , what then do u do as a husband when this doesnt happen. i feel that a woman should reciprocate the effort of the husband and the husband the same to the wife. i believe the duty of a woman is making sure that the house i well kept, and work in union with the husband for a good house and home |
Re: What's A Woman's Duty In Marriage? by Nobody: 12:21pm On Apr 17, 2009 |
,,, |
Re: What's A Woman's Duty In Marriage? by Ilelobola: 1:31pm On Apr 17, 2009 |
kanayo74: Appears your expectation is based on stereotype. This was automatically true some years back but who says a woman has to be the only one doing all the above? Do you expect to be the sole bread winner of the family? I.e. the wife wouldn't work and you provide adequately for all her needs? Some men expect the woman to contribute (usually equally) to the finances etc but aren't wiling to equally share in the typical woman's jobs as you have above. Depends on the couple, what is good for one is not necessarily true for the another. My brother-in-law loves cooking hence his wife doesn't and he actually leaves work in good time to make dinner. She doesn't like cleaning either so they hired a cleaner. They know why they married each other and that keeps them going and they've been the same way for 14 years; they don't appear to have a troubled marriage. |
Re: What's A Woman's Duty In Marriage? by kanayo74(m): 1:51pm On Apr 17, 2009 |
chaircover does early stage of pregnancy make a woman lazy? if she is lazy with work will she still be lazy to call or explain issues to you? i know pregnancy could be quite disturbing ,but it doesn't mean the person pregnant should use that as an excuse or what do u feel? please educate me more? i feel it will be better to play along and let the guy do his things himself, and do what ever he likes and she shouldn't complain because what goes around comes around. ilelobola. Ur cousin or aunt can be married for 14 years with out domestic disputes that doesn't mean all is well. if your cousin likes cooking doesn't mean the woman should not know her duty. she should be there to compliment the man. or what do u feel? |
Re: What's A Woman's Duty In Marriage? by JJYOU: 1:54pm On Apr 17, 2009 |
kanayo74:it always depends on why you married in the first place. who was washing your clothes and cooking your food before you married? 1 Like |
Re: What's A Woman's Duty In Marriage? by Treetop20(m): 2:12pm On Apr 17, 2009 |
JJYOU:good question 1 Like |
Re: What's A Woman's Duty In Marriage? by Ilelobola: 2:15pm On Apr 17, 2009 |
kanayo74: On your Q to Chaircover, a pregnant woman has the right to milk her pregnancy especially in the exhausting first few weeks/months and whilst some do it intentionally others can't do anything but be lazy as it is super tiring! I am pregnant and I have not cooked a meal or done anything other than lay the bed for a couple of weeks . OK, sometimes I've just been lazy but most of the time I'm exhausted as I am still working. My husband does most things at home now though he's lucky we have help. You should know your partner. Are you saying she is not complementing him by not cooking? I don't believe he loves his wife any less because he cooks, it's what he likes doing. You didn't answer my question though, would you expect a woman to go out to work and contribute to the financial upkeep of the home in addition to all that you have in your list? What is the duty of the husband then if they are both working? 1 Like |
Re: What's A Woman's Duty In Marriage? by kanayo74(m): 2:21pm On Apr 17, 2009 |
responsibility a nice question u asked "that who was washing and cooking for the person? if we go by what u said, some one was taking care of her too before she married, then the man has no responsblity towards her. TreeTop u agreed with what JJYOU said then food for thought for u, if any one was responsible for an action before marriage he or she should continue after marriage so encourage people you know not to help as they marry |
Re: What's A Woman's Duty In Marriage? by kanayo74(m): 2:25pm On Apr 17, 2009 |
ilelobola when it come to financial contribution she does not contribute. you work your ass out to earn an income and come back from work your food is not ready. the food not being ready is not because there is no food at home just that she doesnt want to cook she has been at home all day what then do u do? |
Re: What's A Woman's Duty In Marriage? by Treetop20(m): 2:29pm On Apr 17, 2009 |
kanayo74:if your wife and pregnant and has stopped doing things like she used to then can you think for a second that she is carrying your child and her body is changing with hormones running crazy. She is getting adjusted to all the changes that is why maybe she is more tired now than ever. you have to step up and be there for here and help her along the way. |
Re: What's A Woman's Duty In Marriage? by kanayo74(m): 2:37pm On Apr 17, 2009 |
treetop if u step up your game cos she is pregnant there is nothing wrong with that. stepping up your game doesn't mean that you should become her slave and she being pregnant Si not a ticket to laziness. in a case you do almost every thing and come back from work and there is no food for you to eat all because she is pregnant, i guess to you that's nice? so to step up your game u go into the kitchen immediately and start cookin cos u want t o still step up your game, that's crap pregnant women still go to farm u know? she shouldn't over work her self cos she is pregnant but that does not mean she she be lazy and take u for granted. |
Re: What's A Woman's Duty In Marriage? by Ilelobola: 2:53pm On Apr 17, 2009 |
Every woman is different, if she used to make ur meals and stopped due to pregnancy, she might really not be up to it. Some work like horses when they are pregnant but some cannot even step on an ant. I can't even hold a bag on my right shoulder now I'm pregnant, everyone is different. According to my physio, it's because I broke my arm when I was younger and sometimes pregnancy makes these things resurface. I can't keep standing for more than a few minutes at a time. I am now making excuses for her but it is true of a lot of pregnant women. If you can't cook, buy takeaways for both for of you until she's back to normal or hire someone to help. Step up and be there like Treetop said. |
Re: What's A Woman's Duty In Marriage? by kanayo74(m): 3:04pm On Apr 17, 2009 |
ilelobola steppping up is ideal, but not for one party AL0NE for u to step you have to be encouraged. not being able to lift a hand bag when u where pregnant should also imply that u could not call when u were pregnant. pregnancy might be very difficult and uneasy for the person carrying it but it should not be a REASON for LAZINESS and IDLING away. let suppose it was the other way round the guy could not provide food while she is pregnant, i iknow HEAVEN will be let LOSE. Now the case willnot be preperation but she can cook but no food. Think about it. |
Re: What's A Woman's Duty In Marriage? by Treetop20(m): 3:10pm On Apr 17, 2009 |
kanayo74:well i would say sit her down and talk to her and let her know how you feel. |
Re: What's A Woman's Duty In Marriage? by Ilelobola: 3:43pm On Apr 17, 2009 |
Well, I said my right hand not both hands. If she wasn’t doing all these things before she got pregnant i.e. not working and not doing all the chores you’ve listed, then you wife might be lazy. However, why did you marry her as you should have known beforehand? Hence just hold on to the reason you married her and deal with it. Otherwise, if she was doing all these things before and has only stopped since being pregnant, STEP UP and stop moaning, eat takeaways together and don’t stress the woman. If a man can genuinely not provide food for her whilst pregnant due to circumstances he can’t control, who is going to let hell loose as long as the man is not being lazy. No office based 9-5 work can compare with pregnancy especially in the first few weeks/months and for some unfortunate women, the whole 9 months. She might get pregnant again and feel totally different perhaps even more energetic. Again, I agree with Treetop, talk to her. If only God had made it possible for men to experience pregnancy too. 1 Like |
Re: What's A Woman's Duty In Marriage? by ifyalways(f): 4:00pm On Apr 17, 2009 |
kanayo74:hmmmn kanayo74:hmmn again Take it easy Mister.The pregnacy lasts for just 9 months and she wud be all yours again. . .to make your meals and wash your clothes. BTW,does she prepare her own food while u are at work or she starves till u come from work and make the meals? |
Re: What's A Woman's Duty In Marriage? by damiso(f): 4:06pm On Apr 17, 2009 |
Ilelobola:[/b] I agree! I am pregnant too and sometimes i feel sorry for all extra chores that my hubby has to undertake(this is someone who does his own share of household chores) but i really am not up to it on some days.For some women even the smell of cooking sets off nauseous spells.Pregnancy is not easy on the body abegi.esp when you have to go to work.also every day is new,some days i am so energetic and all and some days i am totally knackered. |
Re: What's A Woman's Duty In Marriage? by Nobody: 4:20pm On Apr 17, 2009 |
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Re: What's A Woman's Duty In Marriage? by kanayo74(m): 4:23pm On Apr 17, 2009 |
IFYALWAYS she prepares her own meal i have decided to take it very easy as i can by feeding well before i get home. so she should not say i dont eat at home just in case there is a day she cooks |
Re: What's A Woman's Duty In Marriage? by ThiefOfHearts(f): 4:25pm On Apr 17, 2009 |
We live in the UK with no house helps an my darling husband used to wake up every morning cook me my pregnancy craving of yam & egg and brought it to me in bed and when he got back in the evening used to cook me amala and okro plus a different meal for himself because understandably he didn’t want to eat amala everyday. I was bed bound and couldn’t do anything for those months. Lovely story. More men should be like your husband Kanayo, berra learn from chair's post/ |
Re: What's A Woman's Duty In Marriage? by agabaI23(m): 4:25pm On Apr 17, 2009 |
chaircover:Nice talk sis |
Re: What's A Woman's Duty In Marriage? by kanayo74(m): 4:29pm On Apr 17, 2009 |
CHAIRCOVER i really appreciate all u have to say when it come to the house hold chores i will say i do most if not all. what actually pissess me of is to come back and find nothing to eat while she herself is okay. its quite annoying if u understand what i mean. sincerely i appreciate that she is pregnant and patterns will change but there should communication from her own part. you dont just keep quiet and think the other party knows everything. i try to talk as much as i can but it seem that i talk too much so i decided to just be calm as i can |
Re: What's A Woman's Duty In Marriage? by Hauwa1: 4:31pm On Apr 17, 2009 |
Ify it is really hmmmm for Kanayo. if she is working like you do, then you should not expect her to wash the bedsheet. maybe you both share it out. you wash this month, her turn next month for all house hold chore. no one should be a slave to the other. get a washing machine. if she is pregnant, pls don't expect her to do anything at all. |
Re: What's A Woman's Duty In Marriage? by Ben13: 4:32pm On Apr 17, 2009 |
naturally, women have the sense of building homes. That's their duty. |
Re: What's A Woman's Duty In Marriage? by Hauwa1: 4:36pm On Apr 17, 2009 |
i see the food part well, i won't say much to that as not everyone is expert when it comes to 'food'. kitchen thing is not easy. cooking nigeria meal is a real task. maybe both of you should do the shopping and cooking together during the weekend for meal that would last 1 week. ogbono, egusi, soup on saturday, 2 stews on sunday. that's what i hope to do in the future. |
Re: What's A Woman's Duty In Marriage? by Seun(m): 4:36pm On Apr 17, 2009 |
A woman's duty is whatever the [b]husband and wife agreed upon [/b]when planning to get married. |
Re: What's A Woman's Duty In Marriage? by Nobody: 4:43pm On Apr 17, 2009 |
,,, |
Re: What's A Woman's Duty In Marriage? by Ilelobola: 4:55pm On Apr 17, 2009 |
Chaircover Your post is so well said , you are one lucky woman Seun:. Just out of interest, do people really sit down and agree stuff before getting married? Except for prenups re finances in the case of celebs and other super richs perhaps. |
Re: What's A Woman's Duty In Marriage? by JJYOU: 5:25pm On Apr 17, 2009 |
some men should be very careful who they allow marry their daughters. this lady is not carrying another man's child oga husband. she is supposed to be your freind and wife. learn to understand and tollerate. if you treat her life a queen you will get a queen. if all you want is a house girl that is what you get. if you detest hunger in your belle detest anger in your belle too especially against your better half. sorry no offence meant i know it is not good to feel cheated she may be going through some challenges she is shielding you from. i just discovered you are ibo. igbo men know how too look after thier women bros why you want give them bad name. some of your mates wife dont know market you sit down for NL dey complain. is this her first belle? why not try washing machine na. that may just help you delay her wrinkles and grey hair bros. |
Re: What's A Woman's Duty In Marriage? by sniperwolf(m): 5:31pm On Apr 17, 2009 |
A womans role is to Bleep the hubby |
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