wisdom-w:
Maybe he meant Catholic church JESU & His gal Mary Mandalene

lad u beta watch wot u say...bigot

Laff don kee me 4 here o. I swear shayo na bastard.

Laugh Wan kill me.cant stop laughing @ d last update.superb work by therock555

wisdom-w:
Maybe he meant Catholic church JESU & His gal Mary Mandalene

What is wise about this? Foolsdom

Am sorry for what wisdom-w said, i apologize on his behalf, na too much lafff cause am. Make una no vex tomuch.

To please una make i update with the same rocket speed i use yestaday.

Update in 30 minutes time...bear with me.

The man submitted back our books as we struggled to see what his madness had brought on him and our fate.

I was not in a hurry to collect mine because i knew he would draw a big zero and add my ears and big mouth.

"This man dey mad o, see big zero jare" Julian shouted as i peeped at his work to see as he wrote an essay of how he toasted his first babe. He got a very big zero.

If Julian could get zero that means mine would be zero.zero zero or so i thought.

I was given my book as i walked slowly to my seat without opening it. Then Julian dragged it from my hand and ran.

"Guy no joke with me, bring am o"

I chased after him but he was too fast, all the class had gotten zero so they wanted to see mine to balance the ministry. I was held as Julian carried my book and climbed a desk to announce my bad news.

"Oboy ye, this man don mad finish" Julian screamed as he opened my book.

"Na wetin?" John asked.

"This boy get ten over ten"

"Whaaat, say who die, wetin him write?" Different questions were flunged at Julian as he just gave me a wonderful look and read what was written down there.

"He wrote 'sir no idea' and the man gave him ten over ten, he said that , the man said the answer was correct because we were not there the time that Jesus was doing the runs nor did the bible record that Jesus had any girlfriend"

The whole class looked at me with pride in their eyes as some girls began giving me green light, just imagine girls that usually warned me not to near them when i was playing, now that i had turn celebrity they were tripping for me,

My head was at the point of bursting as i targetted the girl i would like to bleep in my fantasy- a muslim babe.

Since Aisha was not available i never lost hope so i took advantage of this scenerio to fufill my dreams.

I walked to a girl that always chastise me, she just smiled and we started gisting. I used every scope i knew in the book but she just insisted on us being friends.

I almost gave up when something that put ideas into my mind happened.

"Uduak person dey find you" Julian shouted.

"Chai you be runs killer o, wetin be your own self" i grumbled as i went to the door to meet a small jss one boy waiting for me.

"Wetin happen?"

"Senior na senior Evelyn say make i come call you"

"Senior uh", i loved that title as i smiled and told him that i was coming after he informed me that she was in the library.

I went back to the girl i was toasting and sat beside her.

"Who came to look for you?" she asked.

"Its my babe in ss three that is calling me" i repied with a straight face.

She flinched as i said the words as it got to her, i knew it affected her so i moved on to my next plan.

"But am ready to leave her if you agree for me"

I looked at her expectantly as she thought hard. No girl loved losing to another girl just like that so she agreed.

Yeah mehn, i was becoming a small pro in toasting things and i felt good. I told my latsest babe that i was going to ease myself and went out.

"I hope you are not going to her place?"

"Not at all, i have forgotten her already, you are now the one occupying my heart" i lied as she grinned wildly. Girls and flattering sef.

I walked like i was going to the toilet, when i was out of view i cut to another road and went to the library. Its time to face senior Evelyn, maybe its time to bleep her in the library, my foolish mind told me.

I went there to see something more important than bleeping....

To Be continued.

Yeeeees, i updated thirty minutes sharp. Am becoming a pro in typing or so i thought.

Nite pals

nyt!....thnks 4 d update!

tnank you so much. Gud nyt

nice update bro

#now I can sleep and snore

Na with 1 kind phone i dy use read and reply ur update since that incident oh.

Gud morning pals.

I dey one seminar by nine so make i see wether i go fit type with my rocket speed before then.

@daniel-as far as the fone fit comment no problem.

Make una no forget the nominating competion on https://www.nairaland.com/1451024/literature-section-awards-nomination-thread

I dey contest for best comedy and adventure story. Thnks y'll.

Typing....

I walked to the library cheerfully only to see more students there with some men which looked like those dudes that came to tell us about HIV/AIDS. My mind skipped a beat.

Abi them wan come expose me and Evelyn, our eyes met as she flashed me a sexy grin. I sat down among them as my mind calmed down and listened to what the men were saying.

"We are from the Nigerian Television Authorities, and we are here to invite your school for a talk show programme that talks about the stuffs youths do now our days"

My head was still confused of the man's first word, what is Nigerian Television Authorities,abi do they specialise in the selling of televisions. Then it struck me, it was NTA, the same channel i watched do some silly things durin their news hour.

I once watch as the camera man unaware put on his camera when the news had not started. The anchor was busy cleaning his nose. Another time it was the Tiv news translation, camera caught the man yawning heavily before preparing the news. Maybe he was hungry or so i thought.

I be mumu jare, i spoke alittle loudly as my seatmate turn to look at me and turned back while he shook his head and turned front.

"We need students, good and itteligent students that could speak out in the talk show. Preparations are going to be done and some of you may be screened out so if you think you dont want to continue you can walk out now".

Some students walked out leaving just mostly ss three students and i with some ss one girls.

We were given different kind of essay to write, i managed to pass them all while some others faied and then finally 10 of us succeded.

Senior Evleyn also passed as we congratulated ourselves for the good job well done.

The D-day reach as the ten of us were shown to the assembly ground and we given success tips by Big Uncle who encouraged us to represent the school well.

I hoped that i would do better than the last time i went to NTA Jos. This was my second outing to Nta so i was proud. I sighted my new babe who was busy winking and admiring me and wishing me luck.

I also sighted Mercy who just grinned at me and my sister also gave me a good wink, i wonder if all these stuffs was for me going to a television house abi na heaven i wan go sef.

We entered our school bus and for the first time i sat down comfortably in the bus without any pressing and squeezing of bodies.

We reached NTA, we jumped down in excitement as we started looking round the place. There was the most tallest mast i ever seen in my life there. I almost fell on the ground while struggling to see the top. I wondered who fixed that kind of stuff.

A girl that came with us to NTA had an uncle who was working there so she took that as a means to enter the main room of NTA, damn, that place make sense.

We greeted alotof our favourite news anchors and presenters, they were all working as they greeted us warmly. Am sure if not for the nigerian factor i would have asked them for an autograph.

We were called to the section where we suposed to do the talk show. My mind was beating hard as i kept on practicing everything i had studied.

We were informed that it was going to be two sections, one the debate part with another school and then the general show which everyone where supposed to participate.

I was sure i was going to be selected for the debate section but that day for the first time in my life my height failed me.

"So we need five students", so i walked out only for the man to say that he was not looking for small children, that he needed tall guys.

That words struck me so hard as i just came back and three tall boys and two girls were chosen.

Evelyn was also chosen but she choosed to stay, instead she called another girl to represent her.

They entered into the room as the remaining five of us were asked to wait or stroll around till time for the general show start.

I wondered why senior Evelyn choosed to stay back. But she still made me understood when she told us that she had somewhere to take us to.

We agreed and went outside only to see that we were standing opposite Makurdi's central zoo....

To Be continued...

Make i go come back.

Still i ROCK

As u don apologise 4 wisdom's comment,mk I no tlk,but..but..but..I tnk I shud say ds,wisdom pls dnt let denominational differences or religious diff,lead u in2 speakn blasphemy,God s everly watchn

D.Ella.luv:
As u don apologise 4 wisdom's comment,mk I no tlk,but..but..but..I tnk I shud say ds,wisdom pls dnt let denominational differences or religious diff,lead u in2 speakn blasphemy,God s everly watchn

and nah 4 3D sef

The rock5555: Make i go come back.

Still i ROCK

go well jare if u stil see small chance dat ur rocket speed go make sense stil o

Daniel2802: Na with 1 kind phone i dy use read and reply ur update since that incident oh.

tell me which kind phone you want to use make i buy for you

this boy u nor go kill person with laugh ooo, when Jesus christ tey get girlfriend. May God deliver u in Jesus name, Amen.

Still you rock

One thing I like abt u is ur speed of updating, u never keep ur readers waiting. U are rocking nairaland.

@the rock, wetin una wan do for zoo?

Cool stuff

@kingphilip- i get plenty chances to update with rocket speed o but it seems like the damsel that is leading this seminar is confusing me o, i just dey pay uptmost attention to her. Sorry na til i come back i go continue.

@ritababe-uhm, i don dey suspect both of una o.

@priceless love- Ameeeeen, abeg miss are you available, i go like see u personally.

U are welcomed o. Usher firstgentleman abeg find this new member seat nxt to me.

But wait o, time don reach wey i suppose get e-wives and concubines o. Abi how una see am

@dryakson-u sef rock o, i go still dash u and kingphilip best commenters award or so am thinking.

@april wise- thanks man, am very flattered.

@chiamaka-when we reach there u go know.

Make i concentrate on my seminar jare, Devil na liar.

Two updates must drop b4 i sleep today.
Thank Y'all.

Still i ROCCCCK

I hear person talk for chistar thread say, i dey dash una raw data and no mod dey hide any of my posts. Him forget say na Angel Gabriel dey guard this my thread with long knife. Just kidding.

Anyway, if una dey hail dey mods dem no go worry u, dose pple like flattering wella.

"Zooms off when the old man sitting next to him seizes his fone and mutters SIGNS OF END TIME"

Dis world is nt my home Am just passing By,If Heaven is nt my home so wot else will ℓ̊ do..... Singing In Elcanka's tone. Bleep My coach @ MOYES. Albinoism is his major prob. MAN U̶̲̥̅̊ is 2 heavy 4 dat man. Am sori 2 all catholics 4 bla bla blaing my tongue against ur society

The rock5555:
Make una no forget the nominating competion on https://www.nairaland.com/1451024/literature-section-awards-nomination-thread

I dey contest for best comedy and adventure story. Thnks y'll.

I don vote no bi today nah

Gush, am so hungry. After keeping us since morning na just fanta and biscuit them carry dash us.

Make i catch person wey go tell me to go seminar again. Mtcheeeeew.

Gud evening peeps, make i use small energy dash una two updates before i faint.

Typing with keke napep speed...

Thank u very much Rock, if u want to c me personally, u go fill form ooooo

Thanks make it snappy pls wit 2 alombo and pomo to mu ata

The five of us went outside the gate of NTA and we saw that we were standing opposite to markurdi central zoo.

We saw our pincipal who came with us standing with the school bus driver so we went to meet him.

"What happened to you students, are you not participating again?"

"Sir we are, its two segment so we are going to be in the second part"

A short boy like me answered the principal, he was in ss three so i dare not chetise him.

"Sir we are hungry" evelyn said with a baby voice.

"But there is nothing to buy around here"

Luckily for us a suya man was passing by and we stopped him and the principal bought for us four hundred naira worth of suya.

For once i was glad i was not selected for the first section, atleast as those dudes are sweating their brains out, we the regeted ones were busy refreshing our mouths with minty suya.

NB-suya is hausa word for roasted meat made by those aboki's or hausa men. Una suppose don chop am na, its mixed with pepper and onions or with a substance called 'yaji'(a mixture of pepper and other stuffs which are grinded together).

After munching our suya we informed the man that we were going to visit the zoo, and he allowed us.

The five of us walked to the gate and entered inside. I was expecting to see big cages filled with all kinds of wild animals but i was wrong.

The moment i entered the gate i felt like turning back but since there was nothing to do i just continued with them.

We saw two monkeys in a cage as the stared at us like infidels, a man walked up to us and greeted. He seemed to be the so-called zoo guide.

"Good morning you boys and girls, am glad you came to see our zoo and cultural museum, you are very welcomed"

Museum uh, i looked at the signboard and read it again, it said Makurdi central zoo and cultural museum.

Na who come paint cultural museum join for that signboard na, i guess my eyes refused to read the remaning part because of the excitement of seeing a zoo.

The last time i visited a zoo was when i was in Plateau state, when we went to Jos wild life park. That day i almost lost an arm.....

*************
We had came in group and we sang and ate our food right in the zoo, it was just like a picnic, we ran around with bulging stomachs like that would reduce abi balance our stomach's metabolism.

When we had played enough we were gathered together and advised not to sepreat from one another. And that we should not touch anything or put our hands in any cage.

We first went to a room where the carcass of a 100year old tortoise was kept in a glass case, the dude looked so ugly that i almost quarreid him for his looks.

Then we went to the monkey's dormain, the guard told us that the monkeys loved biscuit and so we threw biscuits at them which they snuffed around to pick up. Some of them even collected it right from our hands.

We passed the king of animals cage, he just looked at us and went to play with his wifey, i thought he would give us one of his trademark roar but non came which left us disappointed.

A hipopotamus was just lieing lazily outside, we asked the guard why it was not in a cage but he explained that it was due to its lazy and harmless habits it was allowed to roam around freely but he asked us not to run if its come nears to us. We did not need practical as we quickly passed it.

We kept on looking at various wild beast and reptiles when we came across an almighty phython just rolling around in its cage. In the middle was a hole where other terrifying snakes lived.

We were not afraid as per small kids we even wanted to look at the hole. We were straining against reach other when a hand hit Tina's ribbon and it fell into the cage of the Phython.

Tina strated crying that her mom was going to beat her if she lost the ribbon. I was touched and so i wanted to form super man to please my lady.

I looked around and the guard was answering some questions from our care takers as they all paid attention to what he said.

I quickly strecthed my hands in the cage to pick Tina's ribbon when in a split second the phython charged at me.

I tried removing my hands but it suddenly got stuck as the snake rose high to harvest my hands.

"Help" i screamed as the teachers turned to see the latest horror film in town.

Then the snake struck.....

Make i use my speed of rocket now. Next update by 10pm.

@priceless love- am ready to fill any form, if na to go gulder ultimate search or big brothers africa i go do am.

So whats ur criteria's