pls guys will so much appreciate a candid advise.
my wife still relates with her ex- and kept assuring me that there is nothing going on between them. though this her ex does not stay in same town with her. but i discover that she is always engaged with him on the phone and they exchange series of text messages via watapps. i av stumbled on several of such messages on her phone. i av taking time to put up fights with her on several occasions and even quarelled the so called ex- over phone. but they would nt just bulge. i knw my wife sees him whenever he comes to town. he even credits my wife's account occasionally. i knw u guys will be wondering if i dnt fulfill my responsibility as a husband. I do of course, give her monthly allowance that is equal her monthly salary cos she works. i av never for once allowed her to spend her salary on home issues. she spends it all for herself. i av a well paid job. i bought her a car and was even planning to change her car come early next year cos i already told her to start looking for the kind of car she would prefer. i even sat her down to inquire why she is doing this to us but she wouldnt come up wit any tangible excuse, all she kept saying is nothing going on btw them. she even told me of a recent jokingly that the ex- is tryng to buy her a car and try to inquire from me if i will nt be mad with that.
i am just confused about the whole thing. dnt just knw wat step to take any longer. av told myself that divorce is not something i will want to settle for in life and considering again that there are issues btw us. it really make it difficult for me. the said ex- is also married with kids. why they wouldnt let go of each other is wat i am yet to understand. Pls i need a serious and matured advice on this. Thanks

There could be nothing going on. Keep your eyes open but give her her space.

Your wife does not love you 100pct

sorry to tell you bro but they are sleeping with each other or probably plan to , u can contact his wife and tell her that her husband is messing with ur wife , or better yet get a girlfriend to help you drown ur sorrows u will find yourself caring less about these things when u have someone who actually wants ur attention , itll also give ur wife a taste of her own medicine so to speak

Dovahkiin: sorry to tell you bro but they are sleeping with each other or probably plan to , u can contact his wife and tell her that her husband is messing with ur wife , or better yet get a girlfriend to help you drown ur sorrows u will find yourself caring less about these things when u have someone who actually wants ur attention , itll also give ur wife a taste of her own medicine so to speak

Is dat how you justift unfaithfulness? Be careful whar you say. You are accountable for all your words.

Kaycee7: Is dat how you justify unfaithfulness? Be careful whar you say. You are accountable for all your words.

We cant all be the bigger man bro , but clearly you can

she joked about him buying her a car you fought with the ex over the phone and he still calls your wife your wife visits her ex when ever he is in town

I can't say i know what to tell you in this situation but this is alarming. By the way is the Ex married? What doe he do for a living? why do you think he has no respect for you also why doesn't your wife have respect for you? Do you have kids yet?

Op - anything ex should be discarded, friends or no friends.. That's the rule

iterator24: Op - anything ex should be discarded, friends or no friends.. That's the rule

You & your wife must be very lonely.

Kaycee7: You & your wife must be very lonely.

Lol. We ain't.. as a married guy, why would I still be hanging out with my ex? Conji is real bro, it'll surface one day, and we go nack.. fact! ..why? Because we Don do am before.. so

Report the issue to her family, if nothing happen, divorce her. I cant stand that rubbish, not to talk of married to you.

I may be wrong, but you sound like you're either garrulous or overly petty; hence your threats, cajoling and quarreling have little or no effect. I am not going to ask you about your sex life or other addenda. I will also not ask if you have children, or if your in-laws are dead or alive. It is also not relevant (to me) if you have relatives or family living with you.

Here's what I think you should do, in the following order:

1. Collect the car keys immediately.
2. Withdraw that 'extra' financial support.
3. Start shopping for a replacement (another domestic appendage).
4. Send her packing on Dec31st or January 1st. Why this date? I will tell you. When every other person is celebrating their entry into 2014 and making plans to advance, she will be totally devastated and disorientated. Let's see if her ex will supply her all that she needs to fit into society.

The only factor that should speed up her ousting is her accepting any further gifts from her ex. If she accepts any bank deposits or perfume or recharge card etc...even if it's tonight, send her away immediately.

You must find a replacement between now and December 31st. When you send her away, bring in the new girl immediately. This will teach her that no one is indispensable.

Are we clear?

@25omega. yes the ex- is married with kid. he works with a private firm i believe. we also have kids. i even sent him a text telling him that we all av a past bt the moment u are married u let go of ur past. bt he wouldnt just back off. for wat reason i dont understand. he hardly go a day without speaking with my wife. At times i will see at d end of the message he sent to my wife telling her I LOVE U.

coolsammy: @25omega. yes the ex- is married with kid. he works with a private firm i believe. we also have kids. i even sent him a text telling him that we all av a past bt the moment u are married u let go of ur past. bt he wouldnt just back off. for wat reason i dont understand. he hardly go a day without speaking with my wife. At times i will see at d end of the message he sent to my wife telling her I LOVE U.

I find it hard to believe what u just typed up there, particularly the last three words, if you not lying however, I'd like to ask what you're still doing with the said lady?

If you're concerned about the kids, who's going to take care of them when you die of heartache/not knowing what your wife is doing at the moment? . . . Believe me, it'll get to that stage!

Cut her loose and count ur blessings, do it now!

@fluid26. so much appreciate ur advice and concern. those words of yours are really touching and encouraging. i can tell u categorically that i av done the first 2 options u gave me before. even had to leave the house with my kids while i left the house locked. during the time, the ex- promised to get her an apartment of her own and even buy her a car since i collected the car frm her. her relative were nt in support of the whole thing. they even call to threaten the man. bt the kids are still young and need the care of their mum. i had to listen to the plea of the relatives by allowing her to come back. she promised never to do dat again. bt was surprised wen she said the man is planning to buy her a car again. as i an talking to u, i still read a message the man sent her yestaday telling her he missed and love her. i wouldnt just understand wat a woman wants in a marriage again.

Your peace-treaty approach to situations may be effective in leading teams on an oil rig, however, you cannot run a family with kids gloves.

@yiboboy:that is just the simple truth my brother. this even happened just yestaday.All the same thanks for your advice. av picked one or two things from ur message.

@fluid26: Thanks man, i appreciate

This one get as he be oo...dey're still emotionally attached to each other and dt is even worse than sleeping together. You need to find a way to let her know how much it hurts u to see that and let her pick who she wants to be with between both of you.

[s]No be me talk am buh u might wanna try faking to be with some oda random lady too[/s]

Omo!!!! Is this real?

coolsammy: pls guys will so much appreciate a candid advise.
my wife still relates with her ex- and kept assuring me that there is nothing going on between them. though this her ex does not stay in same town with her. but i discover that she is always engaged with him on the phone and they exchange series of text messages via watapps. i av stumbled on several of such messages on her phone. i av taking time to put up fights with her on several occasions and even quarelled the so called ex- over phone. but they would nt just bulge. i knw my wife sees him whenever he comes to town. he even credits my wife's account occasionally. i knw u guys will be wondering if i dnt fulfill my responsibility as a husband. I do of course, give her monthly allowance that is equal her monthly salary cos she works. i av never for once allowed her to spend her salary on home issues. she spends it all for herself. i av a well paid job. i bought her a car and was even planning to change her car come early next year cos i already told her to start looking for the kind of car she would prefer. i even sat her down to inquire why she is doing this to us but she wouldnt come up wit any tangible excuse, all she kept saying is nothing going on btw them. she even told me of a recent jokingly that the ex- is tryng to buy her a car and try to inquire from me if i will nt be mad with that.
i am just confused about the whole thing. dnt just knw wat step to take any longer. av told myself that divorce is not something i will want to settle for in life and considering again that there are issues btw us. it really make it difficult for me. the said ex- is also married with kids. why they wouldnt let go of each other is wat i am yet to understand. Pls i need a serious and matured advice on this. Thanks

Sometin tells me its clear, nothing is goin on btw them and i wil verify that if u can tel me the content of d messages they send 2 each oda, bt she shd shw u respect.

This is just terrible.women can be really irrational at times.what will one say is wrong with this woman?

@clemz85: it is real. Pls believe it is wat I am passing thru right nw

Mods help dis guy by helping him move is story to d family section he will get muvh more advice from d experienced madams and men.. Madam chaircover,jidegirl and co...

@op
M think collecting stuffs from her is not goin to work expecially if divorce is not an option..
I tink d guy is still emotionally and very much in lov with ur wife, and i tink d guy is gonna get an hard way pretty soon.. I tink dere is sumtin u not doin correctly,he is doin sumtin u not doin for her.

Two tins are involved, be the man and bring your wife's sense back;no violence. Or sit the guy down and speak to him like a the man you are. They may not be doing anything yet, but if you keep this low, you may lose your wife. Sometimes pple get carried away by emotional dust from past relationships and it becomes the duty of your present lover to draw you back to reality. That's still part of loving someone. She needs help and you are the only source of it around her now,she may not understand the consequence of her action nw until it eventually happens.
Help her to help you, even though she may not admit she needs help cos she thinks she's in control.
Mind how you go about it, force may not help your case, your comments has proven that already. Reprimand with love.

Dis is not funny at all, the wife knows u love her very much dats why she's misbehaving, coupled with the other guy seems to be rich too dats why she's not scared, meanwhile, her telling u dat the ex was trying to buy her a new car and apartment is her way of trying to intimidate you as she wasn't suppose to say those things to u as she could have quietly declined. And for those saying nothing might be going on, how many men buy cars for a married woman if nothing is going on. The wife is just not taking the marriage serious and its so sad. Even if nothing is going on btw her and d husband, for the fact she has seen d husband is not com4table with the communication then she shuld end it.. Or atleast pretend to, and not coming to inform him abt a car he wants to buy for her Rubbish!!!. Dis is how people will keep pretending about things and one mans property will turn into another mans own.. I don't have any advice to give here for now, I will be back later for dat.

@op
ignore her. simply pretend as if you don't care, even though you do. the truth about women is that the more you show you are interested in their affairs, the more the tend to continue

fluid26: I may be wrong, but you sound like you're either garrulous or overly petty; hence your threats, cajoling and quarreling have little or no effect. I am not going to ask you about your sex life or other addenda. I will also not ask if you have children, or if your in-laws are dead or alive. It is also not relevant (to me) if you have relatives or family living with you.

Here's what I think you should do, in the following order:

1. Collect the car keys immediately.
2. Withdraw that 'extra' financial support.
3. Start shopping for a replacement (another domestic appendage).
4. Send her packing on Dec31st or January 1st. Why this date? I will tell you. When every other person is celebrating their entry into 2014 and making plans to advance, she will be totally devastated and disorientated. Let's see if her ex will supply her all that she needs to fit into society.

The only factor that should speed up her ousting is her accepting any further gifts from her ex. If she accepts any bank deposits or perfume or recharge card etc...even if it's tonight, send her away immediately.

You must find a replacement between now and December 31st. When you send her away, bring in the new girl immediately. This will teach her that no one is indispensable.

Are we clear?

Yeah you are right. @ op. I am talking from experience. Take away everything from her including your life. Get an extra tyre (a new girl) and make sure you get her into your house by dec 31st.
She won't know what she have until she lost it. A word is for the wise. If am seeing my ex then am fucking her.

Front page things...

Bros u bleeped.... The earlier you stop this now the better for you, the hand writing is boldly wriitten on the wall for you to read.. So start shouting now so that the whole world could hear your voice man.... Shout!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Coolsammy forget all these nonsense corrupt & immature idiots are telling you. Have you asked yourself why she married you instead of her ex? Sometimes I think fate is the best thing to bliv in. If she'll end up with the other guy, there is nothing you or anybody can do about it. But instead of sitting there moping, get your wife's attention back. And not by fluid26's stupid idea. If you want to show her what she's missing
1. Spend more time with her.
2. You sound lyk you didn't date your wife long b4 moving to the altar. Find out her likes & hobbies and do them with her. Its probably wat she's doing with her ex instead of all the dirty stuff these pervs are saying.
3. Stop quarrelling with her ex. They could just be friends & nothing more. I have some female friends I'm very close to. We go way back. I wouldn't mind crediting their ACCTS or buying them cars if I have the money.
4. Like I said before, always give her her space. Privacy is important to everyone.
Just try this, bro.
P S. If you bring in another woman without finding out whats wrong, odds are your wife will probably be pitying the other woman instead of feeling jealous.

Seriously....this is wierd,ur wife thinks her ex would leave is beloveth wife at home and be treatin her nice without expecting something in return?Seriously ur wife has no respect 4 ur feelings or d marriage,dude sit her down and ask her to choose btw her marriage and d so called ex,and try to threaten dis dumb ex of hers by tryin to report to his wife...Dear lord protect me from unintelligent and senseless woman as a wife..!