chronique: Well,I think your wife and her ex are both irresponsible and both suit themselves. Did you notice anything of such while courting? Inasmuch as I loved my ex,I learnt how to give her space. I remember asking her to hangout with me once(after she got married) and she told me she couldn't cos she was someone else's wife. She reminded me of the fact that I would not tolerate it if she was married to me and I got the message fast. I gave her space fast. That's what it should be. I think you need to get firm with her and give her rules to follow if she intends to remain in that marriage. She needs to choose between you and her ex. Inasmuch as I do not dig divorce,I think you may need to send her on hols to her parents house for more training(since she lacks some). Don't just drive her away. Pretend you guys are on a trip for a retreat/vacation,pack some clothes and have her pack her bags too. After your 3 days retreat,tell her you'd love you guys to visit her parents. Secretely get someone to help you pack her things at home and bring them down(without her knowledge). While at her parents crib,get your person to bring her luggage to her parents house. Then,announce to her parents that she'd be living with them henceforth. Also let her know that would be her new home. To make it spicier,make the visit to her family such that,most of her extended family members would be around when you're returning her. Finally,tell them you dash them the bride price and you see as your contribution to charity. Take your leave and do not listen to any plea. Make sure she spends at least 1yr there. I'm very sure "if" she comes back,she'd change. If she doesn't,know that you have jammed ekwensu(devil) himself.

lynpetra:



E be like say u no understand what's goin on here.This woman is way smarter! Can imagine her saying"honey,o need the kids to come along to".That way,if he chase her,she wud retain her kids too for as long as she won't be at her hubby's house

chronique: Nope. The dude has to be smart about it. Let him get his sibling to watch over the house and tell the wife it's just two of them going on vacation. The plan has to be done with tactfulness. Abi are you the woman?

lynpetra:




Commmmmonnnnnnnn!she wud know something is up!Well if person use that kind if sense for me I wud know!A several hours drive?.Damn! After one hour sef I don ask my hubby to pack if he noo want me we get accident!



#lol at being the woman.God no go allow try myself for my hubby house.Got to do all the cheating now.

chronique: It depends on the location of the parents crib. Secondly,he has to do it without tension and strife. He would need to act at ease like there's no issue. Act like all is well at home and He's completely satisfied with her. Well,if I want do person like you such,you'll never suspect. It would take you unawares. I remember breaking up with a certain ex wayback. She just woke up one day and found out she was boyfriendless. I kept saying sorry for everything and acting like I was the one responsible for all the problems. It got into her head... I'm sure she would have behaved herself if she had anticipated my move.

lynpetra:


...na there you Bleep up!To me that's a red flag.It's too easy.When am misbehaving and the affected is being nice,that's when am shaky. because that's exactly d way I think too.This is how to do it if you are scared of doing it to my face.Already you have let ur boss know that you have a day off,already you have a carpenter you trust to change you front locks that day,already your sister is going to pick the kids from school(and you know they might not go to school for some days as you wanna change the school their mom knows them to be going),pack my Sshit and take the last flight(or travel) to dump them in my parents house(they will call me).Don't come home,just lodge in hotel for that night as you know I wud be waiting for an explanation.Go to work in the morning from your hotel and relax in your office with a cup of coffee.As for me??I wud break the door to go into the house,rush to the masters room and then I wud faint!

ogorluv:

I disagree with you. infidelity is not just about physical coitus, if your husband spends some emotions on another woman, he is cheating, whether she sleeps with him or not.
Before I got married, my fiance had a friend that both of them were too close, I was uncomfortable with the situation and I told her. She had to cut all ties with the guy. Its not just healthy. Maybe you played the sophisticat when it started and waited for it to go away. Now is the time to MAN UP. She either falls into line 100 % or she falls out of your life, no compromise.

oko-omoge:
Your wife does not love you 100pct

Kaycee7: Coolsammy forget all these nonsense corrupt & immature idiots are telling you. Have you asked yourself why she married you instead of her ex? Sometimes I think fate is the best thing to bliv in. If she'll end up with the other guy, there is nothing you or anybody can do about it. But instead of sitting there moping, get your wife's attention back. And not by fluid26's stupid idea. If you want to show her what she's missing
1. Spend more time with her.
2. You sound lyk you didn't date your wife long b4 moving to the altar. Find out her likes & hobbies and do them with her. Its probably wat she's doing with her ex instead of all the dirty stuff these pervs are saying.
3. Stop quarrelling with her ex. They could just be friends & nothing more. I have some female friends I'm very close to. We go way back. I wouldn't mind crediting their ACCTS or buying them cars if I have the money.
4. Like I said before, always give her her space. Privacy is important to everyone.
Just try this, bro.
P S. If you bring in another woman without finding out whats wrong, odds are your wife will probably be pitying the other woman instead of feeling jealous.

ogorluv:

I disagree with you. infidelity is not just about physical coitus, if your husband spends some emotions on another woman, he is cheating, whether she sleeps with him or not.
Before I got married, my fiance had a friend that both of them were too close, I was uncomfortable with the situation and I told her. She had to cut all ties with the guy. Its not just healthy. Maybe you played the sophisticat when it started and waited for it to go away. Now is the time to MAN UP. She either falls into line 100 % or she falls out of your life, no compromise.

fluid26: I may be wrong, but you sound like you're either garrulous or overly petty; hence your threats, cajoling and quarreling have little or no effect. I am not going to ask you about your sex life or other addenda. I will also not ask if you have children, or if your in-laws are dead or alive. It is also not relevant (to me) if you have relatives or family living with you.

Here's what I think you should do, in the following order:

1. Collect the car keys immediately.
2. Withdraw that 'extra' financial support.
3. Start shopping for a replacement (another domestic appendage).
4. Send her packing on Dec31st or January 1st. Why this date? I will tell you. When every other person is celebrating their entry into 2014 and making plans to advance, she will be totally devastated and disorientated. Let's see if her ex will supply her all that she needs to fit into society.

The only factor that should speed up her ousting is her accepting any further gifts from her ex. If she accepts any bank deposits or perfume or recharge card etc...even if it's tonight, send her away immediately.

You must find a replacement between now and December 31st. When you send her away, bring in the new girl immediately. This will teach her that no one is indispensable.

Are we clear?

apache77: [b]serious matter.

I feel for u gan, but this is what happens when you stubbornly go ahead to marry another persons wife..she only married you because that ex married someone else, and your marriage is hanging by a thread, and it would crumble soon than later.
First, she is only still married to you because that ex is still married to some else.

Its not about money, cos you both seem a tad comfortable. It isnt about personality because you seem to be a good guy(which is why she is taking you for granted). I think it is the sex- the other guy used to shhag her well while it may seem you are not giving it to her enough, or the way she wants.
What ever the case- you have two options-
1. Kick her out immediately
2.forcefully bring her undr your will.
this woman will not change, she is only managing you- if after you have been married to her and she has children, she is still manipulating you this way? send away, and get a divorce in court and get on with your life. Thats the only viable option to you now- forget all those pray, cudlle, romance exponents.

Or the second option- forcefully bring her under your will. Your wife doesnt respect you and when a woman doesnt respect a man, she can do anything even under his nose.I am not an advocate for hitting women,but desperate situations require desperate measures. You are a weakling, so she even leaves her messages for you to read. she cant be bothered deleting them, meaning that- you can read them if you so wish.

When she gets the next message,give her a black eye- by the time you descend on her once or twice, she will start quavering and hiding her infidelity- or atleast doing it with tact.

Fear of course will not bring love, but it will buy you enough time to shop for a replacement cos sooner rather than later, she will leave for this guy even as a second wife.
Give yourself brain and act now. You are too weak to check her excesses.[/b][font=Lucida Sans Unicode][/font]

repogirl:

mariage and engagement are totally different. During engament or courtship, both parties can compromise more easily, hide things and let things go without much hassles but after marriage, attitudes change. You are now married, what's d worse you can do if she doesn't let him go, divorce? Everyone hates d D-word, especially if the couples are in love.

OP has told her his mind, what more can he do? The more he hammers on the matter, d more she'll run to d ex, the more the ex will badmouth the op to his wife and it will turn into one huge mess.

u said she's already cheating, how? Because she has a close friend and the close friend is a guy? If it was female, would it still,be cheating? As far as she's not neglecting her family, wifely duties, she's not doing any cheating.

marriage is a delicate institution, u have to approach with care, maturity and wisdom,if u really love your spouse. Pick your battles, some u win, some u have to let go.

lastly u can't force your will on someone, they'll just begin to hide things frm u. Even God doesn't force his will on anyone.

No compromise? You must be a dictator.

coolsammy: she even told me of a recent jokingly that the ex- is tryng to buy her a car and try to inquire from me if i will nt be mad with that.

chidyhels: nobody is dieing here,no need to watch your back. As for the car,shes just using it to draw attention that her car needs to be changed.

repogirl: Okay the replies are now becoming really funny.

really extreme, op will soon become a paranoid man watching over his back for nothing.

tpacalipse: This is why I love myself so much. Damn. What rubbish? Nonsense of the highest other. A woman sending u to ur grave, and you are considering the effect her eviction will have on the kids. What the fk. I crush any woman who fk with me, and those who had experience with me, up till now, run whenever they smell me coming. What a man? Damn man. Who born the woman? And who born the guy? The location of the guy would be unfindable for d babe when I am thru with them. Yes! Self defense that is what shall be claimed at the inquest.

coolsammy: @25omega. yes the ex- is married with kid. he works with a private firm i believe. we also have kids. i even sent him a text telling him that we all av a past bt the moment u are married u let go of ur past. bt he wouldnt just back off. for wat reason i dont understand. he hardly go a day without speaking with my wife. At times i will see at d end of the message he sent to my wife telling her I LOVE U.

2s£xy:
Respect, man.

Gosh!!! Not after what I have experienced. My anger like the pace of snail or an old tortoise...

But when you insult my intelligence and take me for a fool, damn it's as fast lightening bolt.

I know I will first play it cool the first time I see it and that could go with a warning to both parties... If they fail to heed my warning, both of them would regret ever being born.

Truckpusher: Simply tell her to choose between her ex and the marriage simple....smh


Sometimes i wonder how you guys actually refer to yourselves as men......them never born that woman wey wan try this shyte with me sha ......period

lynpetra:
Damn!that woman must have hit you hard!You are always angry with women.

lynpetra:

Damn!that woman must have hit you hard!You are always angry with women.

2s£xy:
I hate being taken for a ride especially in cases like this. I am a super cool dude if you met me offline and you would wonder if I ever talk cos I rarely do, except you are very close to me.

I am not angry with women; it's just that I have lost my patience or tolerance around them and I can't play it cool anymore. It's a general law that when a man is TOO soft and gentle, WOMEN often take him for a ride... That's a fact and even YOU will act that way if given the chance.... Yes, virtually all woman take the gentle dudes for a ride. I am speaking from experience and not them say.


Thunder fire that woman wey go try that nonsense... Rubbish!

2s£xy:
I hate being taken for a ride especially in cases like this. I am a super cool dude if you met me offline and you would wonder if I ever talk cos I rarely do, except you are very close to me.

I am not angry with women; it's just that I have lost my patience or tolerance around them and I can't play it cool anymore. It's a general law that when a man is TOO soft and gentle, WOMEN often take him for a ride... That's a fact and even YOU will act that way if given the chance.... Yes, virtually all woman take the gentle dudes for a ride. I am speaking from experience and not them say.


Thunder fire that woman wey go try that nonsense... Rubbish!

Kaycee7: Your moniker says it all.