repogirl:

mariage and engagement are totally different. During engament or courtship, both parties can compromise more easily, hide things and let things go without much hassles but after marriage, attitudes change. You are now married, what's d worse you can do if she doesn't let him go, divorce? Everyone hates d D-word, especially if the couples are in love.

OP has told her his mind, what more can he do? The more he hammers on the matter, d more she'll run to d ex, the more the ex will badmouth the op to his wife and it will turn into one huge mess.

u said she's already cheating, how? Because she has a close friend and the close friend is a guy? If it was female, would it still,be cheating? As far as she's not neglecting her family, wifely duties, she's not doing any cheating.

marriage is a delicate institution, u have to approach with care, maturity and wisdom,if u really love your spouse. Pick your battles, some u win, some u have to let go.

lastly u can't force your will on someone, they'll just begin to hide things frm u. Even God doesn't force his will on anyone.

No compromise? You must be a dictator.

I try to be the best husband my wife could have, I don't cheat on her, I even maintain my boundaries in my relationship with other women. It doesn't mean that I don't meet any ladies that catch my fancy, or that I don't have any xes I remember with fond memories. But I respect the institution and I respect my wife. If she insists on keeping the relationship, that means she is not willing to compromise. This is not a small matter that can be managed. This is a clear cut case of infidelity, where do you draw the line, from chats and phone calls, to setting, and weekend trips together. A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.....

Lol... You are right. But seriously, isn't it unfair? I mean how many good guys are still out there that can take this shit...

doris4u: There r ways some1 wil treat u nd u keep remembering it wen topics like dis surfaces

doris4u: There r ways some1 wil treat u nd u keep remembering it wen topics like dis surfaces

Almost for the rest of ones life??That's a burden!

@poster

Ur situation is very serious and quite funny
It seems u are too "soft" or u are praying for God to change ur wife's mind....hmmm

Mr man, u hav to act fast o, if na me, I no go even fit touch that woman again cos I wouldn't want her to com and giv me sexually transmitted diseases

And if u re stil doubtin it, let me clear ur doubt, UR WIFE IS SLEEPIN WITH HER EX, so stop doubtin it, u should instead be thinkin of how to send that woman out of ur house and claim responsibility for ur kids

Gather as much evidence as u can of her infidelity so that 2moro, incase she takes u to court in order to take ur kids away frm u, u can win d case but for now, start thinkin of life after her becos I doubt if that woman can ever be faithful again to u

Although they say change is the only permanent tin in life, but the way I see this ur wife, she is just startin wit u, who knows wether she will move on to another of her ex when she is done with this one...?

By the way, go for a paternity test o, wit women like ur wife, u neva can be too sure if those kids are urs or if they belong to her ex.

Be a man and do d right thing, DRIVE HER OUT B4 THE END OF THIS YEAR

Before u hit her, send her packing, disgrace n show her wu d man is r u sure she rily is cheatin or she's jes pullin ur strings
Okay here is my own 2 cents:
Step 1: stop being paranoid. All dose kalls may b frm diff ppl buh in ur mind na dt guy dey kall am. Instead be sure!drez dis code to listen to phone convos, av a sharp boi install it for u.forward ha text msgs to ur 4n as evidence. 3rdly av ha followed. M sure drez 1 young sharp boi u trust. Let him monitor ha mvts for days includin days wen u r outta town. Mek sure dey dnt kno each oda or aff eva met n b sure to tell him nt to aff direct contact wiv him.if u wanna catch a thief, catch him by d wrist nt d elbow.be sure u cover all grounds den move on to step 2
Step 2: if she's found guilty wit hard evidence: pictures, call records, txt msgs etc den u aff a choice to mek;
Choice A: kick her lyin cheatin azz out. U could do it quietly or loud n publicly. Whicheva way u choose to, rememba she is d mother of ur kids n dt no matter ow small u had a role to play in dis movie too.
Choice B:kiss n make up. If u confront her wit all evidence n she gets remorseful/ashamed n begs for anodha chance n u feel she's repentant.well its rily up to u. Buh @ d bac of ur mind know dt (I) she may change,dump d man n live happily wit u foreva or (ii) she may yinmu @ ur bac, get smarter or evn kill u/subdue u using jazz so she kan njoy ha life.
Step 3:if she is actually innocent buh on the verge of fallin into temptation,now is d tym to act fast.yes u hav options in dis step too.
Option A: r u so disgusted wiv all she has done so far n u feel u kant eva forgive her. Even thou she hasn't done d deed physically, she has done it *mindically*, den go no further. U both shd seek a professional marriage counselor n spiritual guidance frm God.
Option B: u feel u kan forgiv her buh u wanna teach ha a lesson she wil neva forget? Please follow ma option. It always wrks lyk magic.

There may be nothing serious going on between the two of them, but for the fact that they spend long hrs on phone and have frequent chats is pure evidence that your wife is not over with her ex. And believe me things could escalate...you know what i mean. Quarelling over it will not solve the problem. Be the man! and Strongly demand that she stops. Also let her know that disobedience attracts consequences.

If she still fails to obey you - the head and provider, know that she doesnt love and respect you...period. Her loyalty is with her ex. Now you can drop the consequences, not buy her another car.

@op,sorry i dont know you,but i think you are a very weak man.That THING you called your wife does not love you.Throw her away NOW!

Lawmann: @op,sorry i dont know you,but i think you are a very weak man.That THING you called your wife does not love you.Throw her away NOW!

Seconded!!