coogar:

you married the wrong woman....
you were the only one available to her when she caught the marriage bug - her ex was what she desired the most. this is a prevalent problem especially in nigeria - not too many women married who they really wanted.

there's no solution unless the man stops - you would be surprised it's your wife that is actually initiating the contact with this guy. you have nothing to lose. if i were you, i would let the partner of her ex know what's going on. fire your wife on your own side and let the other woman fire her husband.

if you have kids together, now is the time to DNA-test them.

Correct. He married the wrong lady. She is psychologically imprinting it into your thoughts codedly untill the day you hear honey,can i go on a date with a friend? Now what you gonna do when it gets to that level? In the words of R Kelly "when a woman's fed up no matter how you beg tis like runing outta luck" you need a sitdown with her and reason with her your fears bout her ex thats assuming she is reasonable. The fallout from that sitdown will determine your next moves.

@OP

From all indications there are foundational problems in this marriage and you partly brought this on yourself but i still feel sorry for you. When a girl truly loves a guy, a discerning guy will know and you wont have been asking your woman if she really wanted you. This woman doesn't respect or love you and something tells me its already too late to correct things. You married a former runs girl, its a 50/50 thing some do change for the better while some usually miss the good old days. You see this runs thing is not as simple as people see it, In life there are some lines you don't cross and when you cross them you cant be the same person except repentance comes from within. That applies to murder or runs with married people. Once you eat the forbidden fruit, your eyes will open like EVE and you wont fear or hold somethings(Marriage institution) sacred again. That being said......

Its time you man up and stand your ground. What your woman is involved with is dangerous and you shouldn't treat it with Kid gloves, this issue may even take your life God forbid. Go and watch "fatal attraction" and "deadly women" on Discovery Channel,you will find stories of lovers who conspired to kill their mates.

Dont complain about anything you tolerate man, God hates divorce same way God hates marital abuse in any form. Its not black and white ,there are always shades of grey. Protect your life and that of your kids.

wow!! that's life for you!Even when you give her double of her salary and a car,love, care etc she prefers that of his- ex. Marriage has thought that me that one man's meat is another man's poison. OP, i don"t have any advice to give you as this is opposite of what is happening in my home. spouse keeps and maintain chicks,comes back at late nights,does not spend any time with is wife and kids, but as soon as his pocket gets dry,thats when you know he cares and spend time at home with no money. But one thing he don't know is that other guys admire me so much, sometime i wish i did not marry him. But he should thank his God that am a godly woman, i believe there is consequences for every sin, and no sinner would go unpunished, and i wonder why God has not punished him yet, but i don't pray for such, because i love him so much, but not like what is doing to me. For keeping my virginity all through my uni days, when others were enjoying, as my mum would always say "keep your self so that God will give you a good husband" in my next life if there is, i will do all the "orishirish" winks!!!

@debby please protect yourself from STDS for the sake of your kids,it is well.

Na wao things people face in marriage. I thought it is only women that face this ex issue not knowing men still face the same thing. Mine is the opposite of it, in such a way that hubby can spend his money on single girls buying them gifts. Spends have a fortune buying cards to call them and scratching them cards too. I feel he derives pleasure by simply talking to them.
@poster I must tell you when they do this, there is nothing you can do to stop them only to pray for them. Now she passcode her phone because she knows that if she clears it, you will raise eye brow. I don't even know what to advice because hubby does similar thing and I don't even know how to handle it. I must tell you this act of disrespect on the part of spouses that behave this way, kills love and affection in marriage. Because at the tail end you will try to kill whatsoever you have for her, so that you wouldn't be hurt. I pray she wakes up one day to realise that what she does is hurting you and turn a new leave before she looses her home.

People will advice that communicate in love or quarrel, my darling I will tell you it is only God's intervention that you need. no physical threats stops them, because most of them feels you wouldn't be able to carry out the threat.

Dubby6: if na me i go jst calm down drain d ex of anything cash he has as

d ex go calm down pour HIV into ur wife una go come incubate am 2 AIDS

OP

Some Women never respect good guys you need a tinge of badness in you.

All those dinners, buy stuff, begging and talking needs to stop first thing get home and kick her out immediately call her family to come and move her

And starting getting your own play too outside

Go to your rival's wife and ask for her hands out,tell her the reason that her husband is cheating on her and d victim is your wife

coolsammy: thank u all for all ur advice and contribution so far. this is something that has really been bothering for sometime now. i hardly concentrate at work. took her out on many occasion to ask wat the problem was. asked her to tell me where i am not getting it right so i can make amends, promised to buy her anything if thats the problem. but she kept saying there is nothing btw them bt wouldnt stop flirting with him over phone, my wife nw password her phone so i wont just go into it on my own volition. i even collected the car keys frm her sometime, took away the kids frm her and locked her out for like days. her family interfare and pleaded on her behalf.
but while this lasted, the man promised to get her an apartment and buy her a car since i collected her car frm her. bt after her relative intervention she promised nt to repaet such again only to come up last week that the man is still going ahead to buy her the car and hope i will not be mad when she collects the car,
Though i never responded to her request. i pretended not to hear wat she said but waiting for her to collect the car and use that as an evidence to whatever happens
I came here to seek advice most especially from the ladies as to wat could be going wrong and if any has ever experienced this and a way forward as well

Please read the hand-writing on the wall.
I don't want to voice what i am thinking, because deep down, you already know whats-up.
Another man who is not a relative but an ex-sugar daddy buys a car for your wife?
Offered to rent an apartment for her during the few days separation during quarrel?
And She still has the audacity to ask if you would not be offended if she accepts it?

I mean really
Like really??

mgbeketoto:

Look at this BAWOLOMO ATI PERX DEAD ASSSSHAWO HOLY GHOST of NL aka "DEAD BEFORE AGE 30/40. . . . . .BY THE HANDS OF THEIR OWN PARENTS" PLC ati GROUPIES of NL SUPER ASSSSSSSAWO MODERATORS CLUB making noise!!!!

IJJJJJJJJIOT, I hear you!
Na so e pain you reaaash?
Go and marry AND keep ya own, then come back and 'TALK BACK LIVE'!

MARRIAGE IS SWEEEEEET INDEEEED. . . . Only if you can CHEAT!!!!!!

Go drink poison!
*shaking my HAPPILY-MARRIED-EVER-AFTER CUTE, FAT BUTTOCKS IN YOUR FACE!!!

*somebarrrrrry don snatch this MISERABLE, UGLY, MALNOURISHED BINTCH PUBLIC DOG*

Desperate NL, SINGLE, E-WOR WOR 'OL CARGO!

Nor be ya mate be Dr. Okonjo Iweala? Siddon for NL DEY DO AFRICAN, HONEY-POOH-POOH aka I WANNO CARREY BELLE FOR SUPA-ASSSSHAWO MODERATOR REALITY SHOW, with ya PROTRUDING "FANGS OF FURY" on NL!!!!

Kimon GETTTTTTAT OF MY FRONT BEFORE YOU QUENCH WITHOUT TASTING MATRIMONIAL BONDAGE LIKE '"some of your NL DEAD AND DECAYED FULL-BLOWN AIDS PATIENTS OF TEHN(R.I.Pieces) network!

Ewu!!!!!

See Mumu..

Incase u avnt noticed I spoke from experience. Buh seriously y are u dis dumb?God dint create anyone dumb or were u created by d devil?
In case u cudnt read between d lines of what I wrote cos of ur empty brains(guess dats y ur parents married u off at an early age), I am married(Happily) wit a son.u just give ne d creeps wen I tink abt d fact dat u might endup giving ur huby a virus soon. Just maybe

Ibhamen:

Please read the hand-writing on the wall.
I don't want to voice what i am thinking, because deep down, you already know whats-up.
Another man who is not a relative but an ex-sugar daddy buys a car for your wife?
Offered to rent an apartment for her during the few days separation during quarrel?
And She still has the audacity to ask if you would not be offended if she accepts it?

I mean really
Like really??

guy/madam, don't be surprised. Human beings atrocities have stopped bothering me. I'm fully desensitized.

classic music:

See Mumu..

Incase u avnt noticed I spoke from experience. Buh seriously y are u dis dumb?God dint create anyone dumb or were u created by d devil?
In case u cudnt read between d lines of what I wrote cos of ur empty brains(guess dats y ur parents married u off at an early age), I am married(Happily) wit a son.u just give ne d creeps wen I tink abt d fact dat u might endup giving ur huby a virus soon. Just maybe

CLASSIC DUNCE!!!

Abeg stop TTTIARIN your paheint for anoda woman's rrrrrunzzzz! Oh gal don waka dey tia BLOKOS tey-tey left, right and center. You siddon for NL dey cry and DIE!

When last did YOU get laid?
Na efry barrrrry wanno die like ya MOTHER MARY AMAKA FOR DATI UNA YE-YE BIBLE aka ASSSSSHAWO GALILEE ATI BETHLEHEM?
ABI YOU HIA SAY MUMU JOSEPH TOUCH HER SKANKY AZZZZZZZE AGAIN?

De disease wey MARY catch (aka TOASTED AND ROASTED FAGGGGUT FRUIT OF THE ASSSSHAWO WOMB aka GADDAFFI DEDI-BODI-BASSSSTARD SAVIOR) from the HOLY GHOST BLOKOS during HER HOLY ASSSSHAWO work nor pass virus?

Azzzzzzole!!!

Jelosssssi!!!!

coolsammy: @baby: yeah it is a true story. she is 30. it is wat i am passing thru right now

I know one thing for sure, most women value time spent with them above money and gifts. Seems you don't spend enough time with her.
Lemme also advice that you work more on your sex life. Try to seat her down to really find out what she finds attractive in her ex make necessary amendment work on ur self in those areas.
Thanks!

@ Op, I have seen this kinda situation. I know somebody that's close to me that's very close with his 'exes' , reason being that he was very good to them when they were friends. Even at the level that one of his ex who resides abroad, is building a 12 flats estate through this guy without letting her own family know or even her husband's family. Even his husband isn't aware of the investment. This guy manages her account in Nigeria.


If this guy needs money, he will call 3 of his ex, and they will furnish his account which he will later pay back .

But this guy has nothing to do with his exes intimately.

They way he treated them and how responsible he was during their time influences their friendship now.

Its possible that nothing is going on between them.

How come i missed this thread!
No thanks to a very busy schedule of mine!




@op, what your wife is doing is a total disrespect to your marriage of highest order, even, if she is the bread winner, i dont believe she should be doing all these to your face, in my own opinion, she doesnt have any iota of respect for you and she doesnt deserve your respect either. Call her firmly and state your terms and conditions for her for the last time, if she still want to remain in the marriage. If she adheres, forgive and forget, if she persists, try plan B, ie, give her an ultimatum, tell her to choose between you and her ex, tell her not to push you to the wall, ask her how she will feel, if the table is turned around and you are the one who is keeping in contact with your ex girlfried.
When respect is lost in a marriage, there is nothing left. I dont play with mutual respect at all, its one of the rope that binds marriage together.
Its always advisable to do unto others what you want them do unto you. Marriage is union, a relationship, it takes the effort of the two parties involved to make it work, any attempt made by one party to make it work without the reciprocating effort of the other party is just a waste of time and a futile effort.








One more thing, I see a "longerthroat" woman here.
And that is also a sign that shes a wrong woman to be married to.

However, it is not over until you win, talk, pray and believe the originator of marriage to heal your marriage.
And so i confess that it shall be well with your marriage once again. Amen.

wetin person no go hear for this land....


nice insight but your story is different

In this case the wifey wants to get gifts from the ex while the ex is d one collecting from the wifeys in your own case
na wa ooo.... triple lovaboy

obicentlis: @ Op, I have seen this kinda situation. I know somebody that's close to me that's very close with his 'exes' , reason being that he was very good to them when they were friends. Even at the level that one of his ex who resides abroad, is building a 12 flats estate through this guy without letting her own family know or even her husband's family. Even his husband isn't aware of the investment. This guy manages her account in Nigeria.


If this guy needs money, he will call 3 of his ex, and they will furnish his account which he will later pay back .

But this guy has nothing to do with his exes intimately.

They way he treated them and how responsible he was during their time influences their friendship now.

Its possible that nothing is going on between them.

This woman will get pregnant for her boyfriend and you will spend your life savings to bring up bastards. You call him ex but he is not ex because he is still her boyfriend. I am sorry if I am intruding on your privacy, but, I don't know why most cool guys like you end up marrying runs girls, I know that runs guys will never marry runs girls. Your wife was and is till a runs girl, you can't satisfy her because it has become a habit.

obicentlis: @ Op, I have seen this kinda situation. I know somebody that's close to me that's very close with his 'exes' , reason being that he was very good to them when they were friends. Even at the level that one of his ex who resides abroad, is building a 12 flats estate through this guy without letting her own family know or even her husband's family. Even his husband isn't aware of the investment. This guy manages her account in Nigeria.


If this guy needs money, he will call 3 of his ex, and they will furnish his account which he will later pay back .

But this guy has nothing to do with his exes intimately.

They way he treated them and how responsible he was during their time influences their friendship now.

Its possible that nothing is going on between them.

Wonder shall never end

coogar:

you married the wrong woman....
you were the only one available to her when she caught the marriage bug - her ex was what she desired the most. this is a prevalent problem especially in nigeria - not too many women married who they really wanted.

there's no solution unless the man stops - you would be surprised it's your wife that is actually initiating the contact with this guy. you have nothing to lose. if i were you, i would let the partner of her ex know what's going on. fire your wife on your own side and let the other woman fire her husband.

if you have kids together, now is the time to DNA-test them.

u summed it up