funkybaby: why do i need my man's permission before i build a house

of course i will inform him before i start but that does not constitute seeking his permission.

its my hard earned money and i can spend it however it pleases me as long as I do not put my finances or the family in jeopardy

of course it is your hard earn money that's why you have to move to your own house and be the boss

funkybaby:

****farts****

oloshi buruku, while you are blabbing your nonsense, scroll up and read my other comments on this thread.

ignorant is not excuse to been dumb
Your views are backward
Your age might be other big issue for you
You don't get it

Am I the only one who thinks that op's wife just might be the priest's daughter Depending on his age of course! I mean...he's been there for her family,,, her 'dad' is supposedly dead,,, op thinks his MIL is screwwing the priest...it just might be a continuation from where they stopped! Also, wifey fraternizes lots with this priest, even exchanging gifts in secret. Not forgetting that he joined them in holy matrimony. What a proud Father! (pun intended). Op's wife is jst heeding advice from her parents Father and mother. Things happen ya know??

guy,i ll go straight to the point. secretly plan your life without her and be careful. Her friends are influencing her. Becareful and be ready for what she s got to do next.

Life is too short. I know you are disappointed but please let it go.

Yoruba_Jesus: Be thankful the guy on the other end is a priest. At least you are sure he didnt do IT with your wifey.

You are very naive, the so called fathers specialize on married women cause she can not flaunt it nor can she come back to say she is pregnant. I am not speculating this is from the horses mouth.

@Funky this thread is talking about a husband and his wife and the need of transparency in a marriage, both parties need to be open about capital projects embarked upon by either party. Besides are you saying the man also earned his money and can spend whichever way he pleases?

funkybaby: why do i need my man's permission before i build a house

of course i will inform him before i start but that does not constitute seeking his permission.

its my hard earned money and i can spend it however it pleases me as long as I do not put my finances or the family in jeopardy

funkybaby: why do i need my man's permission before i build a house

of course i will inform him before i start but that does not constitute seeking his permission.

its my hard earned money and i can spend it however it pleases me as long as I do not put my finances or the family in jeopardy

smh...

Coldfeet: She has begged for ur forgiveness! What more do you want?? Don't let some disgruntled Nldrs sow devilish seeds in your marriage o! Some are asking u if those kids are yours? Now if that thought has never crossed your mind am sure now it is right? Pls let it goo!! Who knows maybe they wanted it to be a surprise to you. And about the whole ish about your wife acting up since she now earns more than you, are you sure you are not being paranoid?

how old are you? like seriously..no offense, but i think you still have a very long way to go....

@Funkybaby I have read your comments in response to other Nairalanders. It seems you are not getting it at all.You keep abuse everybody.We are on this forum to enlighten ourselves about the life issues.You are so strong headed that you posting abuses on all people replies to your illogical and immature comments.Things do not work like that..Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.Change now or else!

gbanikiti: there's nothing wrong in a woman building houses and acquiring properties. Maybe the posters wife felt he would not approve it. To me,I don't need anyone's permission to build houses. Its my personal decision.

there is nothing wrong in a woman building a house without telling her hubby? Her own husband? Her flesh? Someone you want to spend the rest of your life with?smh..no wonder the rate of divorce is getting higher,no wonder we have so many single mothers and fathers...smh.

lipstick 1: Life is too short. I know you are disappointed but please let it go.

Do you think there will be trust in the marriage again?

Lilimax: God will intervene in this matter cos it's complex

You've confronted her already and she went down on her kneels begging for forgiveness immediately
showing that she's remorseful.

It may be difficult but just forgive her .
Ending the marriage may not be the best option...

She's sorry because she got caught and so is d priest!

funkybaby:

thank you jare.

some people here are something else.

so i need my man's PERMISSION before i build a house?

what about splashing money on a new car or victoria secret lingerie? do i also need his permission for that?

If you read the OPs comments carefully, he says the properties owned at the moment are in both their names, I.e Mr and Mrs bla bla bla

The ish now is, why will the man build up assets in both their names while the woman decides to go solo? If you still don't see any problem with that, then you have no business being in matrimony; holy or unholy.

I .

2ndChance: I have seen similar threads on this topic before but never imagined it could happen in my marriage.
My wife and I have been married for about 10 years now and we have been blessed with both male and female children. For the first 7yrs of the marriage, I earned about 8x my wife's salary and everything was sweet and rosy. We were the envy of most families with houses and landed properties both in the village and the city where we live. But about 4yrs ago, my wife got a better job which made her salary slightly higher than mine. But more importantly, the new job gave her access to bulk money by way of loans, grants, etc and ever since, my family has never been the same again. My wife suddenly became unruly, she doesn't consult me on any issue concerning the family again. I have sat her down on countless occasions to know what the problem is but she refused to say what is responsible for her sudden change in attitude. Even when I seek her opinion on projects concerning the family, she shows indifference most times. I then resolved to continue to engage her and be as open as I can hoping that things would improve and indeed I really noticed some slight improvement. But when I was about to settle down and relax, I got the shocker of my life -my wife had built and completed a building without my knowledge! As if that was not shocking enough, I later found out that the man who has been fronting for her on the said project is the same Priest (Reverend Father) that joined us in holy matrimony!!!
I am really confused right now, having mood swings between laughing and angry at the same time. I just don't know how to handle this.

Stories that touch...



Nna a woman bought land, got the papers, got an architect, got approval, started building, finished and you did not know..



You are a bad husband.. #PERIOD

/

[size=14pt]Babalawo on my mind....


OR ....[/size]

//

Oga. Jst go to seminary nw and becm a priest. Your wife's family is under a 'priest curse'.

Forgv and forget, her problem is fibble mindedness. You have to help her become a woman with a mind of her own.
Break that family curse,if nt,the nxt parish priest may join the band. Lol.

2ndChance: I have seen similar threads on this topic before but never imagined it could happen in my marriage.
My wife and I have been married for about 10 years now and we have been blessed with both male and female children. For the first 7yrs of the marriage, I earned about 8x my wife's salary and everything was sweet and rosy. We were the envy of most families with houses and landed properties both in the village and the city where we live. But about 4yrs ago, my wife got a better job which made her salary slightly higher than mine. But more importantly, the new job gave her access to bulk money by way of loans, grants, etc and ever since, my family has never been the same again. My wife suddenly became unruly, she doesn't consult me on any issue concerning the family again. I have sat her down on countless occasions to know what the problem is but she refused to say what is responsible for her sudden change in attitude. Even when I seek her opinion on projects concerning the family, she shows indifference most times. I then resolved to continue to engage her and be as open as I can hoping that things would improve and indeed I really noticed some slight improvement. But when I was about to settle down and relax, I got the shocker of my life -my wife had built and completed a building without my knowledge! As if that was not shocking enough, I later found out that the man who has been fronting for her on the said project is the same Priest (Reverend Father) that joined us in holy matrimony!!!
I am really confused right now, having mood swings between laughing and angry at the same time. I just don't know how to handle this.

Fada don collect ya iyawo o
Pele

Maybe na im get the pikins sef

Your own don finish be that
There is a man she consults for her projects and his name is Rev father Evaristus not you
Nna you have been kicked to the curb way beck
Take heart

Okija_juju:


Stories that touch...



Nna a woman bought land, got the papers, got an architect, got approval, started building, finished and you did not know..



You are a bad husband.. #PERIOD

Please don't say he is a bad husband for his wife keeping secret
Life is a Bi***
People do lot of things

@ Funky baby ,i wish you well
Have been reading different comments on this trend for years but this topic strigger me to register today,well back to the main topic, Man you have tried your best,my advice is to be more gentle and let things happen before final decision.

These issue of women having secret properties is common among south western nigerian women and am speaking from experience,i know my background,i could remember things i saw before coming to my current location,even some women still do it in europe,the man pays the bill and the women is secretly building a mansion in nigeria
one question
building or owning a property on your name, who takes charge after the last breathe?
Vanity upon vanity

Guy be to thankful to god bcs he really loves u bcs u av bin dead by nw by d priest, in-laws and her friends.

Okija_juju:


Stories that touch...



Nna a woman bought land, got the papers, got an architect, got approval, started building, finished and you did not know..



You are a bad husband.. #PERIOD

really? Please why do you say or feel he is a bad husband?

Mintayo:
there is nothing wrong in a woman building a house without telling her hubby? Her own husband? Her flesh? Someone you want to spend the rest of your life with?smh..no wonder the rate of divorce is getting higher,no wonder we have so many single mothers and fathers...smh.

there's a difference between telling her husband and seeking for permission from him. I still find it hard to believe she didn't tell him. As I said earlier,the story isn't complete without the other side of the story.

Now that the house is complete,what do you want the woman to do since she has apologized? Destroy the house or sell it to please the husband?

Everybody please leave funkybabe alone
Shes probably a Unilag babe. Naso them dey run mouth.
She never jam man wey go use slap give her liposuction

When women see good men they tend to grow wings, forming my money.
Funkybabe, gbanikiti and co will definitely meet the better men

Nobody is saying personal investment in marriage is wrong. But an investment with an ulterior motive is not even moral. I doubt any sane man will not understand the dangers of keeping the Wife without her personal investment, given the crazy patriarch system in Africa. Even from the way the op handled this precarious situation, we can all see he's a good man. So i think if she had explained the need for such investment to her husband, he would at one point see her desperation and even if reluctantly, he would finally give in, an support her.

One child said i can give him a HINT
These babes no go kee me o
Na quiz??
Small Girls.

mz mariah: really? Please why do you say or feel he is a bad husband?

Building a house is not a small matter o!

Maybe if he said she bought the house, then I would understand. But building a house is such a big matter that if he had paid attention to his wife, he would have caught her slippin atleast once.


Plus.. Didnt it ever bother him to check her finances? I know many women will attack me here, but she is his wife and he has the right to know how she is spending her money. He does not necessarily need to control her spending, but he needs to know.

Anyways, I feel he didnt pay enough attention that why he missed such a big matter happening right under his nose.

Plz wana knw ur parish at 2nd choice...I don't believe ur story...hw can u b living wit a woman...n she builds a house...wat type of house is dat?n u don't knw...does d house takes a day to build? Or did she bought an already built house...u don't knw ur problem...no cal d priest cuz ur wife mayb d one going to meet him wit d aid of her bad friends...of course dia good n bad priests ..it depends on ur encounter wit some of dem...all can't b d same in all aspects even doctors n all human infact...

Oboy, na the scope wey you no wan use buy beer for your friends be this? Your wife build house you dey vex, no be you get house? Na me wan live inside the house?

O boy abeg go buy beer come make we help you celebrate.

Ballabriggs no wan know wetin happen. House done set, it is time to celebrate. Go buy beer come make we follow una jolly abeg.

Ujujoan:

The world is changing, and with it the church of God. Priests are no longer as disciplined as they used to be. I've long apportioned the blame to ETTZ . . . But that's aside . . .

The main issue here is your wife and her obvious lack of respect and trust for you. There must be a reason for this . . .

First of all, in the past (while you earned 8x more than she did) how open were you with her . . . . how generous were you . . . how involved was she in the family's finances

She'a clearly acting out of vengeance and for her to get the support of a priest, her anger might be well founded.

I've seen situations where men build houses in their names alone only to get their wives thrown out for a fresher, perkier bosom

Your wife is making a plan B and that to me is a bigger problem for you than you obviously realize . . . what happens after she has completed her safety net? Does she still plan to remain in the marriage

Form another point of view, what are the priest's intentions This Priest, for all we know, might have a stake in the building. Is he using your wife to make money for himself all the while making her believe it's for her own good? Women can be gullible you know?

This is what you need to you . . .

First of all, report the Priest to the Church . . . write a petition against him. They may not pursue it now or make anything out of it, but your petition is already before God and Man.

Secondly, let your family know what is going on . . . your parents and your wife's parents. Your wife needs to realize she's marrying you and not the priest.

Lastly, if the deeds of the house is in her name alone (and this is unusual), she needs to change it to both your names. That building needs to be registered as part of the family's property and not hers alone . .

Of course if you know your hands are clean, it won"t be difficult for you to do all 3 . . .

u just said it all, most men these days can be really greedy, dey register all their property in their names alone forgetting abt their wives coz dey feel women are just after wealth. Things are changing, a lot of women are wiser nw, I dnt see any reason y his wife would go behind his back to build a house if he actually included d wife's name in his property, yeah d wife is wrong for doing it secretly but there's always 2sides to a story.

gbanikiti: there's a difference between telling her husband and seeking for permission from him. I still find it hard to believe she didn't tell him. As I said earlier,the story isn't complete without the other side of the story.

Now that the house is complete,what do you want the woman to do since she has apologized? Destroy the house or sell it to please the husband?

I just told a story of a woman that build first house without telling her husband
Her Husband found out people came to beg him
She started other second house, Husband found out
Sold their house and kept the check

What if she tells you that she was actually planning to surprise you with the house? Too bad you weren't patient enough to see what her end game is. Now she could up with a billion and one reasons why she didn't tell you.