texaco1:
oga mi with all due respect, i don't think you know the gravity of what she just did , this has got nothing to do with the house , it has to do with trust , love , sincerity and honesty and with this action the woman has shown that she doesn't trust the man and that she herself cant be trusted .

these are the type of things that happens that eventually leads to one spouse killing the other , the moment the op start questioning or arguing with them , they (wife ,mother in law and priest) will see the op as a threat and believe me the next thing will be to find ways of taking him out either by rendering useless financially, health wise or even eliminating him totally .that is why he needs to behave as if what she has done is not bothering him . IF HE LOVES HIS LIFE

I like your comment,it is nt abt the house,it is about trust,sincerity and honesty,she has broken the bridge of trust.
The Op shld be careful,forgive her but be very sensitive,watch her, and pls dnt sleep with ur two eyes closed snoring your destiny away.
Tell her to desist from listening to her friends because most of them are envious of her home,and pocket your mother-in-law too,watch her closely, If your mother-in-law and ur wife come together against you,then God help you,:some in-laws are so foolish,i dnt knw what some mothers gain in destroying their children's home, and BE VERY PRAYERFUL.

WOMEN! I'll never ever stop respecting them. Argghhh!

Mintayo:
I like your comment,it is nt abt the house,it is about trust,sincerity and honesty,she has broken the bridge of trust.
The Op shld be careful,forgive her but be very sensitive,watch her, and pls dnt sleep with ur two eyes closed snoring your destiny away.
Tell her to desist from listening to her friends because most of them are envious of her home,and pocket your mother-in-law too,watch her closely, If your mother-in-law and ur wife come together against you,then God help you,:some in-laws are so foolish,i dnt know what some mothers gain in destroying their children's home, and BE VERY PRAYERFUL.

believe me some mother in laws will go to any length to destroy a son in law that wants to prove himself independent of them , once someone notices this , the best thing is to keep them at arms length and watch your wife carefully , whatever the op tells his wife believe me she will go straight to her mother to tell her . op is treading on dangerous grounds which i don't think he realizes . this is the sort of issues that has wrecked many men lives beyond repair. a word i think should be enough for any wise op

Too much money often make people especially women act irrational. Bt wit time,maturity n constant prayer...d madnx will leave. So let it go. No1 is perfect.


I'm nt married tho bt soon i'd tie d nut.

texaco1: believe me some mother in laws will go to any length to destroy a son in law that wants to prove himself independent of them , once someone notices this , the best thing is to keep them at arms length and watch your wife carefully , whatever the op tells his wife believe me she will go straight to her mother to tell her . op is treading on dangerous grounds which i don't think he realizes . this is the sort of issues that has wrecked many men lives beyond repair. a word i think should be enough for any wise op

My brother, it is this lack of seriousness that has made them fall into my trap so far. Otherwise, the way the whole deal was packaged, I would have lived my entire life without ever knowing my wife owned the house.

2ndChance:
My brother, it is this lack of seriousness that has made them fall into my trap so far. Otherwise, the way the whole deal was packaged, I would have lived my entire life without ever knowing my wife owned the house.

ok bro , just take care and be careful

Please let us also keep in mind that this issue is not only directed toward women or wives, it should simply be directed toward Nigerians in general.

As mentioned by someone, lack of trust, sincerity and honesty among ourselves is responsible for the way things are done backward in Nigerian and the main reason why our system/ country continues to disintegrate on a regular.

As we discuss this topic, I know at least 2 other husbands that are doing exactly the same thing to their wives. It is our Method of Operation (the definition of a dirty culture)

from your text it seem God is already directing you on how to handle your home... pls dont derail every marriage has its up(s) n down(s) not to mention temptations, its shows the level of maturity at how one handles his or her home. (i know its not easy but the grace of God will guide u)

Dr. Joe:


how old are you? like seriously..no offense, but i think you still have a very long way to go....

You should be asking yourself that question! there was a thread sometime ago about a guy who says his wife won't apologize! And that he is seeking for a divorce cos of that! NOW we have a man who say his wife did something behind his back even though she has begged and apologise he still comes here to say he doesn't trust her anymore! What do you want me to say to him? Send her packing like most people here are saying? When judging issues that are one sided its best to proffer a unifying advise or at best be neutral! Now its someone 10 year old marriage that is at stake here and all you bunch can come up with is discipline her! Teach her a lesson! Put your feet down! Show her you are the man! Purrlease!!!!!! This guy like the man in the other thread is just looking for someone to help back him up in his decision to call his marriage quits!! And some of you here have succeeded in doing just that! Nothing trumps forgiveness! Even the Bible tells us to forgive so as to have our transgressions forgiven too. So please if you think my asking him to accept his wife's pleas and move on is childish then you can shove your thoughts up where the sun don't shine sir! Good day.

Coldfeet: You should be asking yourself that question! there was a thread sometime ago about a guy who says his wife won't apologize! And that he is seeking for a divorce cos of that! NOW we have a man who say his wife did something behind his back even though she has begged and apologise he still comes here to say he doesn't trust her anymore! What do you want me to say to him? Send her packing like most people here are saying? When judging issues that are one sided its best to proffer a unifying advise or at best be neutral! Now its someone 10 year old marriage that is at stake here and all you bunch can come up with is discipline her! Teach her a lesson! Put your feet down! Show her you are the man! Purrlease!!!!!! This guy like the man in the other thread is just looking for someone to help back him up in his decision to call his marriage quits!! And some of you here have succeeded in doing just that! Nothing trumps forgiveness! Even the Bible tells us to forgive so as to have our transgressions forgiven too. So please if you think my asking him to accept his wife's pleas and move on is childish then you can shove your thoughts up where the sun don't shine sir! Good day.

I am not sure of your age
Forgiveness take time
Sometime has you get new information you get mad

Coldfeet: You should be asking yourself that question! there was a thread sometime ago about a guy who says his wife won't apologize! And that he is seeking for a divorce cos of that! NOW we have a man who say his wife did something behind his back even though she has begged and apologise he still comes here to say he doesn't trust her anymore! What do you want me to say to him? Send her packing like most people here are saying? When judging issues that are one sided its best to proffer a unifying advise or at best be neutral! Now its someone 10 year old marriage that is at stake here and all you bunch can come up with is discipline her! Teach her a lesson! Put your feet down! Show her you are the man! Purrlease!!!!!! This guy like the man in the other thread is just looking for someone to help back him up in his decision to call his marriage quits!! And some of you here have succeeded in doing just that! Nothing trumps forgiveness! Even the Bible tells us to forgive so as to have our transgressions forgiven too. So please if you think my asking him to accept his wife's pleas and move on is childish then you can shove your thoughts up where the sun don't shine sir! Good day.

are you married ?pls dont be offended with my question please

GoodFaith:
I am not sure of your age
Forgiveness take time
Sometime has you get new information you get mad

So you just created this handle to quote me? SMH.

texaco1: are you married ?pls dont be offended with my question please

Mr texaco1 pls go get a job! Your rants here are unbecoming of a man. I am happily married to wonderful man whose got no issues if I build a house without telling him ! Bleep the hell off!

you must be very careful my friend...your wife is onto something...dont eat her food...she is confiden now and sure does not give 2 peep about you...you chase her out?she will be fine...treat her like a stranger,if she shows no remores?be making plans to leave her already....tell d pastor never to come close to your house or wife and report the matter to the police and let them get a letter instructing d man...he is d devil behind it.the same thing has happened o my dad and now y step mum is the boss in his house....

pro01:

*Winks. You no try at all at all.

You are now a big boy nah and you've completely forgotten me. All my YIM completely ignored. Not cool lai lai!

Yoruba_Jesus: Be thankful the guy on the other end is a priest. At least you are sure he didnt do IT with your wifey.

hmmmmm u think so! Most of those guys parading their selves as reverend can do un do.u never can tell!

[size=28pt]TYPICAL XTIANS![/size]

2ndChance: I have seen similar threads on this topic before but never imagined it could happen in my marriage.
My wife and I have been married for about 10 years now and we have been blessed with both male and female children. For the first 7yrs of the marriage, I earned about 8x my wife's salary and everything was sweet and rosy. We were the envy of most families with houses and landed properties both in the village and the city where we live. But about 4yrs ago, my wife got a better job which made her salary slightly higher than mine. But more importantly, the new job gave her access to bulk money by way of loans, grants, etc and ever since, my family has never been the same again. My wife suddenly became unruly, she doesn't consult me on any issue concerning the family again. I have sat her down on countless occasions to know what the problem is but she refused to say what is responsible for her sudden change in attitude. Even when I seek her opinion on projects concerning the family, she shows indifference most times. I then resolved to continue to engage her and be as open as I can hoping that things would improve and indeed I really noticed some slight improvement. But when I was about to settle down and relax, I got the shocker of my life -my wife had built and completed a building without my knowledge! As if that was not shocking enough, I later found out that the man who has been fronting for her on the said project is the same Priest (Reverend Father) that joined us in holy matrimony!!!
I am really confused right now, having mood swings between laughing and angry at the same time. I just don't know how to handle this.

Simple.. out of my House and out of my Life. She is everly divorced. No way out. No family begging either.
And forget about Church reconcilaitions. NO SECOND CHANCE. Adios.

PAGAN 9JA:
[size=28pt]TYPICAL XTIANS![/size]

itumo?

What belongs to your wife is also yours n viceversa.she shld hv told u bout it.since she has apologized forgv n 4get n she msnt do it again

sounds exactly like my 'mama'. built 6 four bedroom flats without any single person in the house knowing. all the while she kept a straight face lol women.

obadiah777: sounds exactly like my 'mama'. built 6 four bedroom flats without any single person in the house knowing. all the while she kept a straight face lol women.

so are you going to tell your Dad?
Do you have any concern of the out come if your Dad find out?

2ndChance:
No wahala. We go build am together this time. All the evil third-parties are being exposed and will soon leave the way. I think I will just take things calmly. She just called me now to say she's on her way home from work still feeling remorseful. I have forgiven her but can never sleep with both eyes closed with her again. So sad.

Good that you forgave her. For trusting her again, it might take time to re-build the trust; however, I believe you can speed up the process. How? By getting to the root cause of the issue. When you understand why she did it, and both of you walk through it, trust should not be far away any longer.

If she has not told you why she did yet ? Sit her down, and ask for the whole truth. While she is at it, ensure she maintains eye contact with you, and read her body language. Hopefully, she will tell you everything and both of you can deal with it. Meanwhile, be prepare for the truth; it might be deeper than you thought. Come what may, try and work it out with her.

Shalom

funkybaby: why do i need my man's permission before i build a house

of course i will inform him before i start but that does not constitute seeking his permission.

its my hard earned money and i can spend it however it pleases me as long as I do not put my finances or the family in jeopardy

you have just displayed that u have no manners. peradventure you lacked proper moral upbringing

@op, well ℓ̊ think ur wife has built a separate home from the one you two share.
So my advice is, let her go to the home she has built for herself! Simple.

2ndChance:
Sorry to say but I suspect the Priest is screwing my mother-in-law instead.

bulshit... Dat ur family get big problem which only God can solve!

sugar, you are not telling us the whole truth.

Op, you are a dead man living!

I see you're an Urhobo man (from your write-up).

Wake up, man! Wake up!

Op. Am already growing white hairs that my wife started clothing biz without consulting me first. Her sis in US has been sending them. I have had nothing to do with d biz or the clothes so far. Meanwhile I have been foolishly open to her, even faithful to her. Because of God though. Still thinking a reaction. Yours is a tougher call. D catholic church is dying by d day.
Prayer is not enough. Forgiveness is out of it. If it is me, divorce cannot be an option because of d kids. Not sleeping with her is easy but not eating her food is a real tough call. Eating her food is invitation to known death. Will you have your own kitchen. For how long. Sending her away is licensing her into promiscuity. How about bonding with your children. If you are a jealous kind, then d untimely death you fear will still come. Women are Devil we cannot do without. Am yet to hear sorry from my wife lips. But I can bet it, the one your wife said is acting and premeditated. Remember too God is interested on how you handle this matter. Your ideas are good.

May I suggest this: visit her father or whoever represents him if d dad is death. Go with an elder in your own family. Do not plan the visit. Go to him and say what happened. Do not say your plan to anybody. Do not entertain discussion on the matter with anybody thereafter. As you have requested, the documents must be given to you before any further talk until then cut her off your life. If any of your kids is up to ten call that one and explain events. When the document comes sell off the building & give d money to charity. It is not foolishness, that is the condition for the marriage to go on as though nothing happened. If she is like my wife she will refuse & say over her dead body. Then grow up & rent a place without her knowledge & move her things there. She on her own may repack to wherever she wants. By this you have not divorced her. You have separated from her. Keep her off your home. Your kids can stay wherever till they mature. But harden up to face any man that comes close to her, the priest inclusive. Take care. A tough call.

GoodFaith:
so are you going to tell your Dad?
Do you have any concern of the out come if your Dad find out?

well she did call us children, after she finished building it and showed it to us and said dont tell your dad. so ermm i couldnt betray her. this was a while back. i left the country not too long after. dont know if she told him though

Nashville: My brother, my advice is that you forgive her. Sounds silly but forgive her. From your story, you have alot to thank God for, a beautiful family, good health, properties all over and you have been a great husband. If your wife decides to betray you, it is not your fault but hers alone. As hard as it is, look around you and thank God. Sit her down and tell her you know she has built the house. Tell her how disappointed you are but let her know you have already forgiven her.

Life is too short. I know you are disappointed but please let it go. I can bet you she may have serious background issues or she is moving with the wrong friends. That is the only thing that can explain her behaviour. Her background is outta whack (broken or polygamous home) or her advisers are just plain stupid. But I will tell you to change churches fast. You cannot be confessing to that traitor of a priest amd please make sure nothing more than the ordinary is going on between the two. God bless you.

I sure love the way "WOMEN" respond to "women issues"!
Its so "nice and warm" to read....but...

Just turn the table around and let the man be the one who committed this "audacious harakiri", and you would "love" their response to the "ma-issues"!

Women?
***Shakes head and knack it against a pot of garri****

@Poster: Your wife have gone into what l will call "Plan-B Mode".
Its now only a question of time, that marriage don get kwashiorkor!

Women by nature, are wired to work with a man (husband) they love but when it turns around like this .....

I urge you to take heart and activate "survival/stay-alive mode" too, otherwise, Pastor TB Joshua go see vision for you very soon.
Watch ya back o!

Lastapge!