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Re: Should A Woman Sacrifice Her Dreams For Her Marriage? by Nobody: 3:48pm On Oct 31, 2013 |
Well said, Nashville! Like motivational speakers would say: "The only person stopping you from being who you want to be is YOU!" Why should marriage be an excuse for you not being able to achieve your dreams? If you think the marriage is gonna be a set-back to you, why not achieve your dreams before getting married? Afterall, it's not a crime to get married at 40, if the need arises. I know of some women who chose to go in that direction, and today they're living in satisfaction. Whoever said men don't register their wife's names in properties should think and re-think again. My dad does, my uncles do so. I'm not married and if I was, I'd do so too. |
Re: Should A Woman Sacrifice Her Dreams For Her Marriage? by dudet(f): 3:51pm On Oct 31, 2013 |
bukatyne: The OP specifically referred to women; besides, if my dream is to have a happy home (as a woman/wife/mother) as against a successful career, does that make me any less an individual? 1 Like |
Re: Should A Woman Sacrifice Her Dreams For Her Marriage? by loswhite(m): 4:00pm On Oct 31, 2013 |
Nashville:on point |
Re: Should A Woman Sacrifice Her Dreams For Her Marriage? by IbnTimothy: 4:03pm On Oct 31, 2013 |
Nancyij37: That is a very good post. I (as a married Nigerian man) really dislike the way women are treated in African culture and our in our version of the various religions. That said, I think the feminist are also not being realistic/sincere in their demands for 'equality'. Here are some facts No human is inferior to another, fact! Ever family have to make sacrifices for the sake of their family especially growing up children, fact! God/Nature is wiser than us all, fact! Women are the ones to carry, deliver and are the best to provide care for a child, fact! Combining stressful careers with pregnancy, childbearing, childcare is simply unfair on the woman, fact! A woman's career is bound to be affected by childbearing especially early on, so it is only wise for her to relax a little during this period and let the man take care of her. It is division of labour. Life is all about sacrifices. You are this good because your parents made sacrifices (Housemaids are not that good). As we grow older and make more money, we realise that family is the most important thing in life. In life, you often have to choose between your right and harmony. Harmonious relationships are a product of sacrifices. Why will a woman build a house in a harmonious relationship if she doesn’t have 'in case of separation' in her mind? Shouldn't such project be done jointly? To the men I will say; ego is a sign of immaturity, it should be sacrifice for harmony. 1 Like |
Re: Should A Woman Sacrifice Her Dreams For Her Marriage? by loswhite(m): 4:03pm On Oct 31, 2013 |
Marthakings: N0! Men are unpredictable.... what if dey get divorced? she will be stranded and it will be too late to build up her career againand women are predictable right? 1 Like |
Re: Should A Woman Sacrifice Her Dreams For Her Marriage? by Nobody: 4:23pm On Oct 31, 2013 |
talk2davoo: part of d curse dat d woman received after d serpent deceived her is dat she'll be under d man.d man also received his own share of d curse as a result of his dissobedience.now answer,what are the vanguards of gender equality trying to achieve? A reversal of d curse placed on woman by God? Be careful,gender equality is evil.although wasnt so from begining but after d fall of Adam and Eve.@her dream,i will say dat if things are done in order of their priority, husband also ranks first among every dream and aspiration that a woman may have including her dream of becoming world president Why would anyone want to be under a curse, can you hear yourself? So initially it means God created us as partners. And God didn't see anything wrong in that until they sinned. Why do you want to remain in a curse? You well so? You think Jesus came for nothing? No be to remove curses from your life? There is therefore now no condemnation to those in Christ Jesus. If you wanna remain in a curse, dey there, no drag us inside am. 1 Like |
Re: Should A Woman Sacrifice Her Dreams For Her Marriage? by Dee235: 4:26pm On Oct 31, 2013 |
Bludeville: Feminism is about choice. It is about being able to say " I want to be the CEO of a company by the time I'm at a certain age and not have anybody judge you/ criticise you / tell you to lower your aspirations because you are just a woman and your family needs you and blah blah. It is also about being able to say I want to dedicate my life to raising my kids and nurturing my husband and still no one can criticize your choices because this is what gives you personal fulfillment. A working mother/ a career woman does not automatically equal a feminist.So if am your husband and am telling you something and you ain't listening, then I would begin to wonder what kind of wife did I marry who wouldn't listen to me? |
Re: Should A Woman Sacrifice Her Dreams For Her Marriage? by gsalvatore: 4:36pm On Oct 31, 2013 |
Miss Frankie: My greatest fear in life is getting married to sum1 who will kill my dreams, dats why I've made it an important point to share my dreams and idea with my partner. you dont need to fear....Am here. i dont clip wings |
Re: Should A Woman Sacrifice Her Dreams For Her Marriage? by gsalvatore: 4:40pm On Oct 31, 2013 |
if the woman wants to pursue her career then there is no problem. As long as she doesnt bring shame to the family. two heads are better than one joor, |
Re: Should A Woman Sacrifice Her Dreams For Her Marriage? by ireneidiva(f): 4:43pm On Oct 31, 2013 |
dudet:it does! |
Re: Should A Woman Sacrifice Her Dreams For Her Marriage? by Orikinla(m): 4:44pm On Oct 31, 2013 |
[size=18pt]No.[/size] |
Re: Should A Woman Sacrifice Her Dreams For Her Marriage? by Emusan(m): 4:45pm On Oct 31, 2013 |
@ Op I think it depends on individual because as for me my greatest vow on wedding day is this. "If my wife fails to achieve her dreams in life, God ask ME for it" |
Re: Should A Woman Sacrifice Her Dreams For Her Marriage? by bukatyne(f): 5:18pm On Oct 31, 2013 |
loswhite: Js advice women not to get married so that they can build their own house and they don't have to answer to anybody. They can also pay a boy to sleep with them so that they can get give birth to a child dat can answer their maiden name. Dreams accomplished you are NOT very bright, are you? |
Re: Should A Woman Sacrifice Her Dreams For Her Marriage? by Bpriest(m): 5:19pm On Oct 31, 2013 |
Yes. Marriage is the best thing for woman, it is her only dream. So she's not sacrificing any dream, since she has already accomplished her only and unique dream: getting married |
Re: Should A Woman Sacrifice Her Dreams For Her Marriage? by bukatyne(f): 5:21pm On Oct 31, 2013 |
dudet: Sorry, in my books, it does! You think God wasted His time and resources to create you to just have a happy home? I guess men do not want happy homes right? Is there no desire for you to even improve your world and excel at something? Why is your dream not to be the best daughter? You are first an individual before a daughter, wife or mother! Like I said, most women have no dream/vision 2 Likes |
Re: Should A Woman Sacrifice Her Dreams For Her Marriage? by Bpriest(m): 5:30pm On Oct 31, 2013 |
dudet:I don't know why they are ganging you up? at least you know what you want. Good luck. I'm sure you will have a happy home and beautiful kids . And nope it doesn't |
Re: Should A Woman Sacrifice Her Dreams For Her Marriage? by Nobody: 5:42pm On Oct 31, 2013 |
Okija_juju: Well, that is part of it. You have to make yourself happy before you can do the same for anyone. Women [and anyone in general] should follow their dreams so they we can be happy, live productive lives, and make contributions to the economy & public resources. A woman should never give up her dreams for a man. If you're already married and children are involved, then you do have to make some compromises. This's why it's key to discuss roles and expectations before marriage. I'm never an advocate for people leaping into marriage, especially when both parties aren't on the same page or there're issues they haven't discussed; issues they somehow think will solve themselves. It's also critical to understand the power dynamics in the relationship, especially before marriage and whether you're both fine with it. And there's nothing wrong with a woman making money and being equal to her husband financially, once they're married. Why should that be a problem? Only an insecure man would be threatened by his wife making more than him. If her career allows her to be equal or to even make more than her husband, then kudos to her. It's a whole 'nother can of worms if she's boastful about it or uses it to be condescending to the man, but many women do not have that mentality or attitude =p. Anyone with that kinda attitude has no business being marriage because that's abusive and that's not how you treat another human being. There're women out there who decide to be homemakers and that's their cup of tea. It's not something I would want for myself (nope), but everyone's different. 2 Likes |
Re: Should A Woman Sacrifice Her Dreams For Her Marriage? by bukatyne(f): 5:43pm On Oct 31, 2013 |
Bpriest: I don't know why they are ganging you up? at least you know what you want. Good luck. I'm sure you will have a happy home and beautiful kids . You know the funny thing, if your daughter you trained through law school or medical school comes to tell you this, you will slap her Keep deceiving her and don't tell her the truth! I am sure you will like all your daughters not to amount to anything in life because 'she wants to have a happy home!' |
Re: Should A Woman Sacrifice Her Dreams For Her Marriage? by yorex2011: 5:44pm On Oct 31, 2013 |
bukatyne: dont mention God's name like you know his will or plan for evrybody... men want happy homes thats why they toil and work hard so that they can provide for the family.. who told you she cant improve her world or excel at something....you dont need to have a career to improve the world or excel at something 1 Like |
Re: Should A Woman Sacrifice Her Dreams For Her Marriage? by bukatyne(f): 5:50pm On Oct 31, 2013 |
yorex2011: His plan for everyone is to impart their world! Read up the Virtuous wife/woman in Proverbs 31: 10 - 31 if you are a Christian! Right you do not need a career to improve your world or excel at something! I can decide to preach from campus to campus; I can decide to always keep my street clean; I can decide to offer free lessons to my neighbours' kids; No matter what it is, please do something with your life! It's like a girl saying my dream is 'to be the best daughter in the world' |
Re: Should A Woman Sacrifice Her Dreams For Her Marriage? by Bpriest(m): 5:50pm On Oct 31, 2013 |
bukatyne:which part you don't get in : her dream is to have a happy home? Na wa oo is she forced to have the same dreams and aspirations as you ? Free her Abeg 1 Like |
Re: Should A Woman Sacrifice Her Dreams For Her Marriage? by loswhite(m): 6:04pm On Oct 31, 2013 |
bukatyne:i should be d one asking dat. Do u have two president in a country? Do u have 2 CEO in business organization? If your answer is no,then y do u want that in your family? What is the essence of marriage if in the end I will build my own house and u will build ur own house. The person I quoted earlier went as far as making this statement " And pls don't come at me with the same old story of having to look after the kids (who afterall, don't bear your maiden names! but your husbands' names!)". Obviously if you are bright, and frm a responsible family,u won't be in support of this kind of thinking. In my opinion the man is the head of the family but being the head doesn't mean u abuse ur powers. Respect is given to whom it is due. Women respect ur husband as d head of d family and with proper communication u can achieve ur dreams. |
Re: Should A Woman Sacrifice Her Dreams For Her Marriage? by bukatyne(f): 6:04pm On Oct 31, 2013 |
Bpriest: which part you don't get in : her dream is to have a happy home? Na wa oo is she forced to have the same dreams and aspirations as you ? Free her Abeg To have a 'happy' home is not a dream bros! Don't quote me if you don't understand English! |
Re: Should A Woman Sacrifice Her Dreams For Her Marriage? by Bpriest(m): 6:06pm On Oct 31, 2013 |
^ because you are the one who determines what is a dream and what's not a dream right? 3 Likes |
Re: Should A Woman Sacrifice Her Dreams For Her Marriage? by LerrieJohn(f): 6:15pm On Oct 31, 2013 |
I am quite a feminist in the sense that a woman should have a voice in the family, community and society as a whole but when it comes to the FAMILY I have a different approach. I have read some women complain about giving up on those "dreams" ie career. I have got a career in which I'm doing extremely well and I've got more room for growth but notwithstanding my "dream" is to raise my FAMILY. MY husband doesn't mind my job but when we do have kids I'm going to leave work and dedicate my time to my kids until they are grown. That's my decision not his. He doesn't agree with me and thinks I should work but I told him I would love to work a part time job or work for him as long as the job permits me to pick my kids after school, cook for them, do home works , play together and have dinner together as a family my husband inclusive. No job or carrier title will ever fill the emptiness you WILL have when you get old. All the material things will come and go but if you as a WOMAN succeed in creating ang growing a PEACEFUL LOVING FAMILY believe me you will live a fulfilling and rewarding life. That's just my opinion. If on the other hand your dream is to own your career, house, cars...in other words material things...I hope they give you enough warmth when you get old. Women are wise and are actually wiser than Men if we could only learn to use our knowledge in the right way. Your man is the HEAD of the family but you are the NECK. The head will always depend on the NECK. it doesn't matter if your husband owns five houses after all what is his is yours if you are legally and happily married. If you play your roles as wise wives and women you will have everything you have ever dreamed. Family and career together. 1 Like |
Re: Should A Woman Sacrifice Her Dreams For Her Marriage? by Nobody: 6:22pm On Oct 31, 2013 |
Bpriest: Yes. Marriage is the best thing for woman, it is her only dream. So she's not sacrificing any dream, since she has already accomplished her only and unique dream: getting married Hmm, this doesn't sound right on so many levels. But, you are a man so I can't blame you for not understanding that we (the female gender) want more than just to be s*x/baby machines... Getting married/child bearing should never be taken as the end point for the female gender. |
Re: Should A Woman Sacrifice Her Dreams For Her Marriage? by bukatyne(f): 6:25pm On Oct 31, 2013 |
Lerrie John: I am quite a feminist in the sense that a woman should have a voice in the family, community and society as a whole but when it comes to the FAMILY I have a different approach. I have read some women complain about giving up on those "dreams" ie career. Living a rewarding and fulfilling life entails a person to be well rounded. It is not the duty of the woman but the couple to make their home peaceful and loving. 1 Like |
Re: Should A Woman Sacrifice Her Dreams For Her Marriage? by bukatyne(f): 6:27pm On Oct 31, 2013 |
theLORDreigns: My dear, that is a lot of women's dreams... My only problem will be when they deceive an innocent woman with so much dreams and after marriage they begin to block her! If they can make their stance known before marriage and the wife to be agrees, then that is their headache! |
Re: Should A Woman Sacrifice Her Dreams For Her Marriage? by LerrieJohn(f): 6:39pm On Oct 31, 2013 |
bukatyne: I agree with you. Took that for granted in my expression as the main subject of discussion were "women" not men. It all depends on the couple. But what and how much a woman achieves depends on her. |
Re: Should A Woman Sacrifice Her Dreams For Her Marriage? by pickabeau1: 6:48pm On Oct 31, 2013 |
Interesting post. i see respect, using feminine wiles to get what you want, choosing family over career.... you are not a feminist Lerrie John: I am quite a feminist in the sense that a woman should have a voice in the family, community and society as a whole but when it comes to the FAMILY I have a different approach. I have read some women complain about giving up on those "dreams" ie career. |
Re: Should A Woman Sacrifice Her Dreams For Her Marriage? by Lafatty: 6:59pm On Oct 31, 2013 |
it dosnt worth it nd wot apen if d marriage isnt working she end up being a frustrated woman,marriage can flup but trust me ur job wll be der for u to make u api,being submmissive is not d same as being suborinate or loosing ur dreams |
Re: Should A Woman Sacrifice Her Dreams For Her Marriage? by Lafatty: 7:00pm On Oct 31, 2013 |
it dosnt worth it nd wot apen if d marriage isnt working she end up being a frustrated woman,marriage can flup but trust me ur job wll be der for u to make u api,being submmissive is not d same as being suborinate or loosing ur dreams. |
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