Continuing on CC's line of thought on appreciating him
Be generous about it
Stroke his ego ,it's totally allowed
He needs to hear it

Especially for those of us out here,the black man is an endangered specie
There are many forces out there against him
They want to break him and strip him of his male ego
He slips like any one would,they attribute it to his blackness
He over achieves like many of them do,they get mad and jealous ,they accuse him of trying to show off
They will ask what he's trying to prove,who he thinks he is
He is confident and carries himself well,they call him obnoxious and arrogant
He is quiet and reserved,they call him timid

For any pieces of him they chip off,it is our duty to build him up again at home before he gets out there
We can't afford to cut him down with the many already trying to do so
Listen well
And be a good observer
From my own experience ,the man's mood most of the times has absolutely nothing to do with the home front
And like most men,he won't share it immediately
Nurse him through it all the same
One day he will open up and share what happened a few weeks prior and you can tell the exact date that event occurred

These people we sojourn in their lands don't like successful,confident and intelligent black men
It is a concept they will not accept
Period!
My husband says they want you to be just smart enough to be hired but you dare not shine or outshine them
When you do,they get uncomfortable and extremely jealous and sometimes very hostile
We have been there
We know a lot of people who have experienced the same
Barrack Obama can relate to this for sure


The moral of my story,is this
Our men are up against so much out there
The higher he goes,the hotter it becomes
The home should be a warm,comforting place to return to after he has battled the Joneses and the Smiths

Any successful black man in the West can relate to the points I just made
But when you are upright,they can't find "nathing"
You keep going higher

jennykadry: Can I ask all you married women a question? ?

Yep, shoot go ahead.

What's the question??

Efemena_xy:

Yep, shoot go ahead.

What's the question??

There must be yekini.
Watch out

Hian! Madam headmistress JK has been teaching her skillz in camera ba! Now it's bearing fruit of sexy convertible cars and some of us are here jonzing? Ok now! I dey 'wash' all of una!

A loving Christian brother told me a testimony right before Christmas
He worked in this firm many years ago and his senior colleague,a female oyibo couldn't stand him,picked on him constantly and criticized his every move
He later on moved up in position and she got worse
He eventually got a managerial position in another firm and moved over
A decade later he had worked his way up to district manager and a week before Christmas he had to interview someone that will be working under him,if hired.
The name was not familiar at all but as he walked into the boardroom,who was sitting before him?
The same lady that showed him pepper a decade prior
She had gotten married and her last name was different

Great testimony
My hubby is in the same exact position
He is currently the direct boss to a woman and then senior colleague who blocked his permanent hire over a decade ago

I really fear this God we serve

Baby mama: A loving Christian brother told me a testimony right before Christmas
He worked in this firm many years ago and his senior colleague,a female oyibo couldn't stand him,picked on him constantly and criticized him
He later on moved up in position and she got worse
He eventually got a managerial position in another firm and moved over
A decade later he had worked his way up to district manager and a week before Christmas he had to interview someone that will be working under him,if hired.
The name was not familiar at all but as he walked into the boardroom,who was sitting before him?
The same lady that siphoned him pepper a decade prior
She had gotten married and her last name was different

Abeg finish the story. So what happened next?

Did he hire her? If yes, then what's their working relationship like??

chaircover: I am still looking for one thread where kpekusing was taught from start to finish. . . those of you who havent been on any course can fast track through that one and then we all converge for Madam Jennys second course

You mean the Cotton Sheets one which Ronke also participated in?

It was never quite concluded. I remember you even gave an interesting assignment which was completed and handed in. Post assignment question asked was whether that technique was effective for those who've been 'cut'.

Ah! I dey remember stuff o!

chaircover: Hmmmmmmm baby momma you are very right, and this is the first time I have heard read the truth about what the black man faces from someone who speaks it with no sentiment but with the truth as it is; no glossing.

It is not easy for the black man especially in white dominated work environment. I may be wrong but I think it is easier for women in this respect. Maybe due to their ego.

If your husband is in a safety critical/life dependent profession especially then you as the wife need to make sure that he is mentally OK and act as a buffer between him and the craziness out there. God forbid a husband makes an error at work due to home or work issues. It is well.

You are so right sis

chaircover:

I wont hire the person . . . and I wont feel guilty about it because I am sure that there will be at least someone in the pool of applicants who is better suited than her

Thing is: in the corporate world of white-collared jobs, there is a lot of back-stabbing and office politics going on. More so in the city.

You're only as good as your manager deems you are. Meaning: as long as you get along well with him / her, then the world is your Oyster. That's why when a manager leaves, those who were on good terms with him or her quickly find their level within another department or completely different company, especially if the new entrant is hell-bent on making their 'mark'.

Then those who 'suffered' in silence under the exited manager get the opportunity to climb up the ladder. I've seen it so many times jare. T'is all about how 'sociable' you are with them, starting from not making a squeak about hitting the pubs on Friday evening after work with them, sitting and grinning through team lunches, get-togethers, etc...

Efemena_xy:

Abeg finish the story. So what happened next?

Did he hire her? If yes, then what's their working relationship like??

Nne biko correct the word "siphoned "in my post you quoted to "showed"
This autocorrect thing sef
I will remember to ask the next time we talk.
He said he felt sorry for her at that interview,she was so subdued when she saw him and he imagined she must have really wanted the job and perhaps agonized over that day since she knew the name of the interviewer.our typical last names cannot be easily forgotten.
He said he won't hold her past actions against her in the hiring process because it is God that put him where he is
I thought that was sweet

My family and I have walked into the year 2014, all the way from Western Australia I say happy new year to yekini lovers.

Lord let your blessings begin

jennykadry: My family and I have walked into the year 2014, all the way from Western Australia I say happy new year to yekini lovers.

Lord let your blessings begin

Yaayy!!

Happy New Year to you!

So, what does 2014 really feel like? We've got nearly 8 hours to go!

chaircover:
Yes that one. can you find it

Ha! That was so long ago na. I suppose you could do a keyword search for it but I don't even remember what you called that thing. Nah...you find it CC

jennykadry: My family and I have walked into the year 2014, all the way from Western Australia I say happy new year to yekini lovers.

Lord let your blessings begin

Praise God my fellow Yekini lover
The bobo is sleeping after round one this morning and I am typing on my IPad while waiting for round two
I don't know what people see in oyibo or their fellow women
Our black men are good!

Efemena_xy:
Yaayy!!
Happy New Year to you!
So, what does 2014 really feel like? We've got nearly 8 hours to go!

It feels like yesterday. the only difference is the firework

@osisi

No kill the man. This CC has set the bar too high, everyone is giving out round one with the hope of getting something in return

chaircover:

congratulations jenny and all Aussies out there

Ose ose ose

jennykadry:

It feels like yesterday. the only difference is the firework

@osisi

No kill the man. This CC has set the bar to high, everyone is giving out round one with the hope of getting something in return

Abi o
CC is riding to round 5 and now she is riding in style
I am a fast learner
Let him wake up,today na today
I didn't acquire these hips for nothing
This time next year inshallah me I will be talking of my own convertible

Baby mama: spending,savings and budgeting
Ladies ladies ladies
Dating and marriage are two different things
While dating, the man is trying to woo you,he's trying to impress you and out do his competitors so even the stingy ones amongst them ( like mine) will spend and spend to make you happy then after marriage his true color comes out.
It is normal, ladies,it's part of the chasing process
My hubby and I ate out very often at various eating joints back then
He would go miles to buy me tasty meat pies,croissants and other confectionaries at this fine deli in Coal city
He introduced me to isiewu joints in Uwani and got me hooked
Every weekend we had our isiewu night
Oxtail pepper soup
All the happening joints
He would ask,my dear,where do you want to eat tonight and off we went
The suya spots at asata saw us very frequently because he knew I loved and still love suya


Now,we eat out on occasions
Besides the fact that a lot of money is being burnt when one dines out,he has nothing to prove to me
Any money in the hands of a restaurant owner is money out of our pockets
So I don't mind his stinginess,he's doing it for us
He's not wasteful with money,he doesn't go off buying stuff fooloshly,he is a careful planner and the children's education is his foremost priority
It is mine too

Ladies,please don't compete with anyone out there

You can look tantalizing on a budget
It's not how much it costs but how well you wear it
Shop for clothes when they are on sale
Buy clothes out of season for great bargains
It doesn't have to be designer handbags and shoes,you can do without them
If you just mark them,target when they are on sale,you can get them half the price
Think about your family budget,save for a rainy day,build up an emergency fund
Save save save!!!
Nobody knows tomorrow
Make it a point of duty to save at least 15-20% of your annual income

For those of us out here it is easier with forced retirement contributions,maximize it
Move money into a savings account if you have to and leave it there as security fund to take care of things in the rainy season
I repeat !
Don't compete with others,once you get in those circles,it may lead to a downward spiral as you struggle to maintain and lie to yourself.
Be wise

This is the best message on this thread. Money is where men and women clash the most.

In most household when shit hits the fan financially its the men that are held responsible and most women wont understand what it means to save up

WHen the money is flowing they want to spend and spend but the husband is already thinking of when the money would stop and in the typical women way they say "God would take care of tomorrow" . Men dont believe in this mantra because when everything fails its the man that gets the blame

You cant go wrong by being prudent and spendthrift. Before you accuse your husband of being stingy check if he spends on himself? If he doesnt then he isnt stingy he is merely saving for the future.

I knew a friend who fought with his wife badly and almost separated. The child 1st birthday proposed as a birthday gift take the family to Disney ($500) and put $2000 in an education fund for the child. The wife wanted the typical Houston owambe for the child which the budget is over $4000. The man was like what of the childs education, she responded, He is "Americas child, Govt would take care of him"

The woman got her way after making the house very hot for him did the owambe after that serious problems started

^^ Not every female thinks like that Dayo.

Some of us are financially savvy.

jennykadry: My family and I have walked into the year 2014, all the way from Western Australia I say happy new year to yekini lovers.

Lord let your blessings begin

Oluwa seun! Happy New Year!

dayokanu:

This is the best message on this thread. Money is where men and women clash the most.

In most household when shit hits the fan financially its the men that are held responsible and most women wont understand what it means to save up

WHen the money is flowing they want to spend and spend but the husband is already thinking of when the money would stop and in the typical women way they say "God would take care of tomorrow" . Men dont believe in this mantra because when everything fails its the man that gets the blame

You cant go wrong by being prudent and spendthrift. Before you accuse your husband of being stingy check if he spends on himself? If he doesnt then he isnt stingy he is merely saving for the future.

I knew a friend who fought with his wife badly and almost separated. The child 1st birthday proposed as a birthday gift take the family to Disney ($500) and put $2000 in an education fund for the child. The wife wanted the typical Houston owambe for the child which the budget is over $4000. The man was like what of the childs education, she responded, He is "Americas child, Govt would take care of him"

The woman got her way after making the house very hot for him did the owambe after that serious problems started

this is hilarious.

coogar:

this is hilarious.

I thought so too
That is what happens when a man marries a woman based purely on looks and nothing more
He ends up with a pretty air head
In parties she is as flamboyant as a peacock but in the head as dense as a sack of beans


My relative married one of such
All she knows is dress well and perch on a high heel from one function to another
Buying and wearing things I know too well they can't afford
The woman can't even speak one correct sentence in English yet "wanna gonna" go full everywhere
What a pity

Efemena_xy: ^^ Not every female thinks like that Dayo.

Some of us are financially savvy.

Financially savvy females are in the minority. like 15-20%

You would agree with me that a lot of financial irresponsible people are women. Anyone here watches Suzie orman show and see what some women call in wanting to buy?

Ask most men what their hubby is they might say watching sports ask a lot of women they say shopping. Shopping costs money. Go to every mall the population is 80% female. Thats money that could have been used for one thing or the other. All these shops have credit cards and Maybe some ppl think credit card is free money.

The average female wardrobe is like 10 times the male of the same age

Yesterday I was talking to a middle age woman whose excuse is that "I love good things" but every monthend she cant meet up her bills she grumbles about how much rent is, how much phone bill is yet she must buy the latest gadgets. She is not married so that makes her to call all sort of men for assistance and next thing you know what it leads to? Sex with these men some married men. Yet she would put herself out to be the victim of how these bad males are taking advantage of her.

Her latest episode talked to her Pastor about her way of life, the Pastor changed her phone number and bought her a cheap phone so these married men wont have her contact 3 month ago she said the phone isnt cool enough bought the Iphone 5s gold cover and she is now complaining of how much the bill is.

A woman who cant pay rents but spent $400 on true religion jeans

Hmmm very interesting, my marriage is just two years and I think this will add more life to it. Carry go ooo

Baby mama: I thought so too
That is what happens when a man marries a woman based purely on looks and nothing more
He ends up with a pretty air head
In parties she is as flamboyant as a peacock but in the head as dense as a sack of beans

If you come to Houston and see those useless petty competition like teenage girls you would wonder that why did they give these people visas

Around 2007-09 it was a rush for all Nigerian RN nurses to buy Nissan Armada, Party like this you would think they all make millions,

I know of a Nurse who would kill herself with overtime all week just because she wants to drive a S550

Dayo, this ur analysis is biased.
Some men knows how to make money but don't know how to manage and save.
Such men, their wives handle their account else yawa go dey.
They r everywhere.