A-40:

You did write about a woman having her own separate account which is interesting note that I don't disagree but I'm curious to know if there are any lines that ought to be drawn and if you would be ok with your man running his as well.

The man should have his account as well
I have no problems with that

.

@ bluuu,this is serious
Looks like he doesn't really like to be married
He showed the true color at courtship and she ignored it and now wants him to change
What was her attraction to him if I might ask
She expected him to change after the wedding?
SHe took the horse to the stream and can't force it to drink
I hope she has a job
This marriage may not last and she knew it from the very beginning but went along with it
Let her go treat her depression though,it is more important than all her complaints about this man

Hmmm , this institution called marriage oh. Oh God help me

.

thehunted:

There is nothing wrong with the institution called marriage rather something is wrong with some people that get into marriage.

marriage isn't meant for everyone. It's just a pity that everyone wants to get married even when they know that they can't cope with what marriage brings.

thanks

bluuu: @baby momma,it was just dat 1 instance ( introducing her as a sist) dat happened b4 marriage,he s caring n nice.deed s done now.wat s d way forward.pls advise

Are you able to get the husband's side of the story?

I'm sorry to say this but I too agree with Babymama - the tale is just too one-sided aimed at painting the man to be some sort of demon. The underlying fact here is this: he showed her what he really was like before marriage and yet despite the four-year courtship she had to study him and his flaws, she felt he was good enough to marry then.

So what really has changed now?

A woman attempting suicide is usually a cry for help. She needs to seek medical help asap. In the meantime, encourage her to take herself out of the stressful situation she finds herself in - perhaps to spend a few days with her parents / people or, get someone to help her with the chores at home.

There is a lot more to this story than we're being told here. A man would not suddenly wake up one morning and decide to treat his wife in the manner you've described in your posts. What you're seeing are the symptoms. The underlying root cause of the problem needs to be identified first before treatment commences. Then and only then will this couple move forward (assuming in their heart-of-hearts, they really want to make a go of their marriage).

thehunted:

There is nothing wrong with the institution called marriage rather something is wrong with some people that get into marriage.

marriage isn't meant for everyone. It's just a pity that everyone wants to get married even when they know that they can't cope with what marriage brings.

Well said.

bluuu: @baby momma,it was just dat 1 instance ( introducing her as a sist) dat happened b4 marriage ,he s caring n nice .deed s done now.wat s d way forward.pls advise

The problem seems to be your relative's
Let her seek help

Baby mama:

The one that concerns me more than anything else is your relative attempting suicide
That is the main meat in this story

That's the part I don't get . . .

Why will someone want to kill herself because of a man? All to answer 'mrs' . . .

If the marriage is not working out why can't she just leave? So she can't live without a husband?

Tufiakwa!

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Ujujoan:

That's the part I don't get . . .

Why will someone want to kill herself because of a man? All to answer 'mrs' . . .

If the marriage is not working out why can't she just leave? So she can't live without a husband?

Tufiakwa!

My dear o
In as much as I love my man but no way will I kill myself over him
For what
Some people sef

We thank God things seem resolved
Hope it stays that way

Baby mama:

The man should have his account as well
I have no problems with that

All is well and good in that case. It has its pros and cons tho to be honest

Mama Osisi heavy duty as I've always imagined.

Why did Ihe deactivate? Hope it wasn't over the thread movement saga in religion?

baby momma,we r expecting more "tips" from u.the purpose of this thread shouldnt be forgotten.tnks.good night house

debosky: Mama Osisi heavy duty as I've always imagined.

Why did Ihe deactivate? Hope it wasn't over the thread movement saga in religion?

Hahahaha
Heavy duty you call me
Pretty boy debo
I still remember your fine pictures on nairaland way back
So you are now married wonderful

R/ship experts I hail oh. Very soon, b4 the ist quarter of 2014 by the special grace of God Nwa baby will be joining the institution. My God has answered my prayers. My R/ship of 10yrs will be sealed. It took us many years to do this cos we didn't hav reasonable job. Infact I wouldn't call that job. This dec, the Almighty God, the God that maketh impossible things to be possible blessed my fiance with a very good job in an Oil company. Oh God! I don't no how am feeling. Am sharing my testimony; am I dreaming? is it for real? Is it a rumor?Though it talis, it has come to pass. Sorom too chukwu(praise God with me)

nwababy: R/ship experts I hail oh. Very soon, b4 the ist quarter of 2014 by the special grace of God Nwa baby will be joining the institution. My God has answered my prayers. My R/ship of 10yrs will be sealed. It took us many years to do this cos we didn't hav reasonable job. Infact I wouldn't call that job. This dec, the Almighty God, the God that maketh impossible things to be possible blessed my fiance with a very good job in an Oil company. Oh God! I don't no how am feeling. Am sharing my testimony; am I dreaming? is it for real? Is it a rumor?Though it talis, it has come to pass. Sorom too chukwu(praise God with me)

Amen o
I am happy for you

Thanks @ Baby mama. Dancing Skelewu

nwababy: R/ship experts I hail oh. Very soon, b4 the ist quarter of 2014 by the special grace of God Nwa baby will be joining the institution. My God has answered my prayers. My R/ship of 10yrs will be sealed. It took us many years to do this cos we didn't hav reasonable job. Infact I wouldn't call that job. This dec, the Almighty God, the God that maketh impossible things to be possible blessed my fiance with a very good job in an Oil company. Oh God! I don't no how am feeling. Am sharing my testimony; am I dreaming? is it for real? Is it a rumor?Though it talis, it has come to pass. Sorom too chukwu(praise God with me)

ThankGod o, Berra start carry belle sharp sharp, no time to waste

I've placed everything in God's hands. @ carry bella, hmmmm na God hands I dey too.

^^Make God try release you small for nwoke Oma hand make una start the jigi jigi. He will understand. You deserve all the happiness abeg. 10 yrs. o boi!

Baby mama:

Crush when you are single
Shoot!
You are allowed to have crushes when you are single
If it escalates to something else and is genuine, that means your heart belongs there ,you simply leave the other person ( in a nice way ) and migrate
My dear,until you walk that aisle,you are a single woman and can change your mind at anytime
This is the time to do it

I left a fiancé to marry my husband and I have no regrets whatsoever
Go with your heart

@ baby mamy u left ur fiance to MARRY ANOTHER MAN? NA WA OH WHY?

I blive by God's grace that after Trad, we wil live together as husband and wife. Who knows, might get pregnant b4 wedding cos such thing u wouldn't say I wil or wil not cos am not God oh. Is only God that nos how happy iam cos is undescribable. Infact am confused at d moment

Baby Mama and other Big Aunties and Uncles in d house, dis one person no dey see una break light, shey na like dis we go dey dey?
This thread cnt just end in this manner na! Lemme believe the silence is as a result of the on-going hols.
Missing you and ur contributions!

yes o.we dey wait for una here o.make una no kill d burning passion i v for this thread.even if mb no dey i dey manage to open ds thread.
merry xmas n happy new year in advance.
oga ihe,y u deactivate now,i know say u still dey view ds thread as a guest or not.
btw house,wat do u think a guy means by this statement as related to relationship 'i v a strong male ego'.ur contribution s appreaciated esp from a guys view.good night y'all

bluuu: yes o.we dey wait for una here o.make una no kill d burning passion i v for this thread.even if mb no dey i dey manage to open ds thread.
merry xmas n happy new year in advance.
oga ihe,y u deactivate now,i know say u still dey view ds thread as a guest or not.
btw house,wat do u think a guy means by this statement as related to relationship 'i v a strong male ego'.ur contribution s appreaciated esp from a guys view.good night y'all

Strong male ego
Hmm
Than manly pride of a thing

spending,savings and budgeting

Ladies ladies ladies
Dating and marriage are two different things
While dating, the man is trying to woo you,he's trying to impress you and out do his competitors so even the stingy ones amongst them ( like mine) will spend and spend to make you happy then after marriage his true color comes out.
It is normal, ladies,it's part of the chasing process
My hubby and I ate out very often at various eating joints back then
He would go miles to buy me tasty meat pies,croissants and other confectionaries at this fine deli in Coal city
He introduced me to isiewu joints in Uwani and got me hooked
Every weekend we had our isiewu night
Oxtail pepper soup
All the happening joints
He would ask,my dear,where do you want to eat tonight and off we went
The suya spots at asata saw us very frequently because he knew I loved and still love suya


Now,we eat out on occasions
Besides the fact that a lot of money is being burnt when one dines out,he has nothing to prove to me
Any money in the hands of a restaurant owner is money out of our pockets
So I don't mind his stinginess,he's doing it for us
He's not wasteful with money,he doesn't go off buying stuff fooloshly,he is a careful planner and the children's education is his foremost priority
It is mine too

Ladies,please don't compete with anyone out there

You can look tantalizing on a budget
It's not how much it costs but how well you wear it
Shop for clothes when they are on sale
Buy clothes out of season for great bargains
It doesn't have to be designer handbags and shoes,you can do without them
If you just mark them,target when they are on sale,you can get them half the price
Think about your family budget,save for a rainy day,build up an emergency fund
Save save save!!!
Nobody knows tomorrow
Make it a point of duty to save at least 15-20% of your annual income

For those of us out here it is easier with forced retirement contributions,maximize it
Move money into a savings account if you have to and leave it there as security fund to take care of things in the rainy season
I repeat !
Don't compete with others,once you get in those circles,it may lead to a downward spiral as you struggle to maintain and lie to yourself.
Be wise

The commonest complaint,our Nigerian men are not romantic

Let me start with a funny tale but true
Some years ago my husband came home with 6 roses and handed them to me
I said thanks
It wasn't by my birthday
It wasn't mothers day,valentines day or our anniversary
It was just an ordinary day,he was returning from school( he was a grad student then) and came home with roses
I thought to myself,this man don turn to oyibo o,see as e just bring me flowers just because,how romantic!!
Then in my usual humorous way ,I said nna this one up you just bring me flowers,was someone giving them away
He said "actually the flower man at the train station was selling them off, end of the day I guess,6 roses for one dollar so I got them for you"
I started laughing hysterically
His simplicity was what made me laugh
So if the flowers were full price,you wouldn't have got them,I responded
The answer was yes but he didn't say it
That was the first and last time I ever got flowers on a non occasion
Perhaps the first and last time he stumbled into roses at such giveAway prices
So yes,our Men are not flower people
It is a culture they learned and sometimes it's still awkward to them
Unlike oyibo,our husbands never saw their fathers give flowers to their moms
It's not our culture but in these cultures,it's a sign of romance

Some years in a row up until 2010 I hade big bouquet of flowers delivered at home from 1800 flowers on my birthday and Mother's Day with romantic notes on a card signed by my hubby
I was on top of the world
I felt I had joined the league of those married to Mr ultra romantic
But after some years,he couldn't maintain it,and returned to his regular ways of picking them up from the local grocery store
It is not our culture.

In the large scheme of things,does it really matter?
Don't sweat the small stuff ladies

Double post