carmelion:

It means jigijigi

*runs away*

Hahahaha.. You are funny..
Me i can't explain oo, where i wan start.. Lol..
Baby mama yellowpawpaw is calling you..

wow,God this thread is educative,thanks,babymama

Baby mama, God bless you. You just don't know how many adjustment I'm planning to make after reading this your mind blowing piece. God bless you once again

jumzzy448: Baby mama, God bless you. You just don't know how many adjustment I'm planning to make after reading this your mind blowing piece. God bless you once again

That is the whole essence of the thread
Glad you find it educational

I am glad the younger women appreciate this thread
Perhaps if I read some of these things from a fellow woman when I was in my twenties,I wouldn't have made some of the earlier mistakes I made.
marriage is not a competition or tussle
It wasn't meant to be that way
Be careful who you seek counsel from
That point cannot be overemphasized

Baby mama, thanks for these your ''tips for a successful marriage''. But about saying I'm sorry, my husband can be soooo annoying sometimes. AS I'm typing right now, he offended me, and i refuse to sleep on the same bed with him but instead of him to at least make an effort to convince me otherwise, he is sleeping soundly [even snoring sef]. I feel like yelling right now if not for my baby sleeping soundly close by. The worst of it all is that, in the morning, he will just pretend as though nothing happened with all his ''my pretty baby, don't frown this your lovely face so that you will remain ever young for me. oya smile small for me, just small''. His usual line, but always end up making me laugh out loud. Thanks once again galfrnd. You have given me enough 'tools' to make my marriage roockk!!!!!

mirajune: Baby mama, thanks for these your ''tips for a successful marriage''. But about saying I'm sorry, my husband can be soooo annoying sometimes. AS I'm typing right now, he offended me, and i refuse to sleep on the same bed with him but instead of him to at least make an effort to convince me otherwise, he is sleeping soundly [even snoring sef]. I feel like yelling right now if not for my baby sleeping soundly close by. The worst of it all is that, in the morning, he will just pretend as though nothing happened with all his ''my pretty baby, don't frown this your lovely face so that you will remain ever young for me. oya smile small for me, just small''. His usual line, but always end up making me laugh out loud. Thanks once again galfrnd. You have given me enough 'tools' to make my marriage roockk!!!!!

Don't you just hate it when they make you mad and sleep soundly
That was his way of apologizing in the morning.That is a good man.

Wonderful thread!
Babyosisi, you're doing a wonderful work here. How i wish the mods can make this thread sticky in family section, it will go a long way in refixing many marriages.
May God bless you and all of us.

I loooove this thread.

Closely following

Nice thread Baby mama.

You know, marriage is a job in itself. What you put into it is what you get out of it.

I sincerely believe that if one truly works hard at it, the benefits to be reaped from it are bountiful. It's never going to be a bed of roses or plain sailing, but it does get better with time.

Why? Because we grow in and with it.

God bless our marriages.

greatgod2012: Wonderful thread!
Babyosisi, you're doing a wonderful work here. How i wish the mods can make this thread sticky in family section, it will go a long way in refixing many marriages.
May God bless you and all of us.

Really? I guess one size fits all then.

Good write up from experience by the way OP.

Ewuro707:

Really? I guess one size fits all then.

Good write up from experience by the way OP.

many, many, many, and not all. did you see many in my post.
Thank you.

I am loving every bit of this thread. Following religiously

.

I wish a similar thread to this can be created - but told from a man's perspective.

Any takers? Bellong? Nashville? (whom I see peeping ) TV01?

Efe, always looking for trouble!

Bellong is too religious,
Nash is africa man to the teeth while
TV is very unyielding!

B will start by telling u guys no test driving, Nash will say his wife must be a stay at home wife so she can completely do her duty as wife w'out distraction while TV must insist that his wife will contribute a certain amount to family account, not wear trouser and must maintain a certain figure!.

Nobody should quote me o!
If u qoute, I will deny u.

yellowpawpaw: Efe, always looking for trouble!

Bellong is too religious,
Nash is africa man to the teeth while
TV is very unyielding!

B will start by telling u guys no test driving, Nash will say his wife must be a stay at home wife so she can completely do her duty as wife w'out distraction while TV must insist that his wife will contribute a certain amount to family account, not wear trouser and must maintain a certain figure!.

Nobody should quote me o!
If u qoute, I will deny u.

Actually, I am quite serious.

They're all married men and they do give useful advice on many of the threads here. Babymama's words of advice are real gold nuggets and it's easy for many of us women to relate to what she says, simply because she's given it through the eyes of a woman.

I'd really love to hear it from the guys too - especially their take on apologizing when wrong, spilling it out to family / inlaw issues and much more.

^^ Exactly my point, CC!

Thanks a bunch @BabyMama...I have learnt one or two things from this thread especially the 'I am sorry', 'dealing with inlaws' and the 'sex' parts...
...Your points kind of echoes what i have always known and been told by more experienced married people around me and i am not going to slack in anyway concerning any of those issues..
...but ironically, my Fiance's younger sister is a slight challenge for me and not his mum!!...his other siblings and i get along pretty well especially his twin sister while his mum is the sweetest of them all.
However, this particular one who is the last born is a different ball game entirely...i have aired my discomfort to a couple of friends and relations and they attributed it to her being slightly jealous cos they were really close(before i came into the picture that is) and my man dots on her more than his other siblings.

They advised that i should swallow my pride and reachout to her more than i am doing and that with time she'll relax towards me...but i really wonder how a sister can be jealous of her brothers Fiancee or wife,it's not like she can marry him herself so what gives??

I have made up my mind to do as i have been told even if she keeps giving me the subtle cold shoulder(very likely!! Lol) while i hope for the best...this is for the sake of my man who deserves all the love and loyalty from me.

Lemme just add this... One of the hardest things to do as a man is to admit you're wrong. Even when you know you're wrong and feel bad about it, to say snrry is difficult. So we try to apologise in several ways. For me, i apologise by cooking and serving her by the bedside. I don't do this often but when i do, that shows my remorse. P.S. The woman in question na my mama o! I never marry. But she's the woman in my life now, and i'm technically her husband, since my dad is away 8 months in a year. @Baby mama and Chair cover, ypp and Efe, carry go jare.

At least I scored an A in the jigijigi part and no third party part,i ll keep working on my ability to say sorry without arguing unnecessarily,i ll get there soon .


@pocketeconomist,It's not hard for all men,i had to learn the word "Sorry"from my husband,his maturity kept it together in our early days.

byvan: At least I scored an A in the jigijigi part and no third party part,i ll keep working on my ability to say sorry without arguing unnecessarily,i ll get there soon .


@pocketeconomist,It's not hard for all men,i had to learn the word "Sorry"from my husband,his maturity kept it together in our early days.

Lol! @ bolded

@ your last line, same applies to me too

@BabyMama,

What a wonderful thread.

It is filled with wisdom and we learn daily.

By my experience and God's wisdom, I had known a lot of these esp. third party part. I can say I have never complained/reported him to anybody before in our 7years together. we have also never carried a quarrel overnight or for more than a few minutes before.

I really learnt about the rationalizing part from this thread. When I do/say something I feel it's not offensive and he takes it otherwise, I always try to justify/rationalize and I apologize when I see he is not seeing. I guess I sometimes can be too logical I have learnt not to even rationalize sef; sfterall, he is the only one I have

I also learnt something vital yesterday when we had an issue that communication is extremely important because we both can not see things the same way.

God bless you

^ ^ ^ i know say na only for the jigijigi part u go score A

CC and Efe, una no well.
Was luring them na!

Marriage is all about wisdom.
We pray and ask for such from our creator everyday.
May he grant us wisdom on how to handle our family life always.

bukatyne:

Lol! @ bolded

@ your last line, same applies to me too

@BabyMama,

What a wonderful thread.

It is filled with wisdom and we learn daily.

By my experience and God's wisdom, I had known a lot of these esp. third party part. I can say I have never complained/reported him to anybody before in our 7years together. we have also never carried a quarrel overnight or for more than a few minutes before.

I really learnt about the rationalizing part from this thread. When I do/say something I feel it's not offensive and he takes it otherwise, I always try to justify/rationalize and I apologize when I see he is not seeing. I guess I sometimes can be too logical I have learnt not to even rationalize sef; sfterall, he is the only one I have

I also learnt something vital yesterday when we had an issue that communication is extremely important because we both can not see things the same way.

God bless you

Sometimes deep within me,i feel sorry but to say it nah war,but am getting better at it.

byvan:


Sometimes deep within me,i feel sorry but to say it nah war,but am getting better at it.

We will get there In Jesus Name

mirajune: Baby mama, thanks for these your ''tips for a successful marriage''. But about saying I'm sorry, my husband can be soooo annoying sometimes. AS I'm typing right now, he offended me, and i refuse to sleep on the same bed with him but instead of him to at least make an effort to convince me otherwise, he is sleeping soundly [even snoring sef]. I feel like yelling right now if not for my baby sleeping soundly close by. The worst of it all is that, in the morning, he will just pretend as though nothing happened with all his ''my pretty baby, don't frown this your lovely face so that you will remain ever young for me. oya smile small for me, just small''. His usual line, but always end up making me laugh out loud. Thanks once again galfrnd. You have given me enough 'tools' to make my marriage roockk!!!!!

This is just funny ,Sleeping through anger works a treat,i wake up brand new and energized .

bukatyne:

We will get there In Jesus Name

Amen my sister!!

Am loving this

Maintaining your individuality in marriage

Marriage makes you one with your spouse.The priest or pastor tells us that at the solemnization,the popular scripture about a man leaving his father and mother and cleaving to his wife and they become one is quoted at most weddings.
We have interpreted it wrongly to mean that you lose the very essence of who you are,your thoughts,your interests,your aspirations and the things that make you who u are because you are married.
How can that be?

No woman will be happy in marriage where she feels like her individuality is being stifled and she is not allowed to be her true self within the confines of marriage.
This is the cause of many many conflicts
You give your best when you are able to be yourself and pursue your interests
No woman likes to be told and instructed on when to do things and how to do them

I like to dance for instance
You couldn't meet me at a good party and forget me easily
There is something about good music that frees me completely and makes me lose all inhibitions even in the midst of people I barely know
My hubby is not the same way,he would rather sit and tap his foot and bop his head while nursing and sipping his drink
But over time he has come to appreciate that aspect of me and joins in more often to dance with me
He knows that those are my happiest moments
At that instant all my worries are in the back burner

I have vacationed a few times with old friends and classmates ,another thing I like to do
I enjoy spending time with the girls
If you've never spent a weekend alone with a bunch of girls from your childhood,try it,it is the most awesome thing to do.

Every woman should have an opportunity to carry out other interests ,to be herself sometimes and be in touch with the essence
of her person
Without children,husband or family things
We don't automatically lose our individuality after the prefix Mrs or mommy is attached to our names
I am Ada and will always be Ada despite my newer roles as wife and mom
It can be done wisely and responsibly
I believe in having my own bank account
It will kill me to take permission to spend my own money or buy the things I want to buy,I am not wired to be that dependent on someone else.
I am a better person maintaining my individuality within the confines of marriage
I hope I'm not misunderstood here,I also believe in submitting to my man
Over the years we have grown tremendously

Marriage grows over time if the people are willing and comes to a good balance where both parties are in a loving union and no one feels choked or smothered.
It takes a lot of hard work,a lot of adjustments,some heart to heart talks,sometimes born out of heated moments a lot of understanding the needs of your spouse and conscious efforts to fulfill those needs

I wish every man could read this