kulyie: No doubt its rude to shout and yell at anybody irrespective of gender and age but sending a woman back to her parents house,what do they call that.


The bible refers to the men that put their hands in the plough and look back as what? I am not covering up evil but stewpeedity pisses me off.i thought they call that over hyped institution for better for worse.there is no marriage devoid of crisis and lapses from both parties but solving the issue in extreme measures solves nothing.for example if mr husband is down with cancer,the woman should run back to her parents and say i dont know how to care for a cancer patient,i cant cope and flees with her kids abi.is it not that the woman will go to any extent to ensure the man gets back to his normal self.no woman shouts and yells for nothing.it means there is something the man is doing that is paining her and its juat the way she can express what is paining her.why cant the man listen between the lines of her shouting and make necessary changes.

thank Goodness you now agree theres a problem. How then do you solve it when the two cant communication. Yelling and shouting is not communication. From This case,the man wants an amicable resolution but how do you get it when she screams her eyes out? Tell me . How?

Chillisauce:
Return the girl, fight between in laws, the girls inlaw will be annoyed and return the bride price he paid for her

It's a business transaction. The wife's parents are providing good customer service jare. Abi, if you sell an expensive product, there should at least be a 2-3 yr warranty, no be so? The wife's parents collected hefty bride price, goats, yam, laptop, lace, gold, silver, orishirishi....They traded all that for their daughter, who by the way still does not have a pin to call her own. When the customer realizes his product is defective (in this case, she was found to be an uncouth, rabid banshee), what again should he do? Return to the manufacturer for repair of course. She is still within her warranty period!

Marriage for the riff-raff, by the riff-raff, of the riff-raff 101! Pure comedy gold, I tell ya!

kulyie: No doubt its rude to shout and yell at anybody irrespective of gender and age but sending a woman back to her parents house,what do they call that.


The bible refers to the men that put their hands in the plough and look back as what? I am not covering up evil but stewpeedity pisses me off.i thought they call that over hyped institution for better for worse.there is no marriage devoid of crisis and lapses from both parties but solving the issue in extreme measures solves nothing.for example if mr husband is down with cancer,the woman should run back to her parents and say i dont know how to care for a cancer patient,i cant cope and flees with her kids abi.is it not that the woman will go to any extent to ensure the man gets back to his normal self.no woman shouts and yells for nothing.it means there is something the man is doing that is paining her and its juat the way she can express what is paining her.why cant the man listen between the lines of her shouting and make necessary changes.

thank Goodness you now agree theres a problem. How then do you solve it when the two cant communicate?

. Yelling and shouting is not communication. From This case,the man wants an amicable resolution but how do you get it when she screams her eyes out? Tell me . How?

Really? So how does a man collect something from a woman without yelling,force,violence or verbal abuse

onegig: Most ladies dont understand that simple secret. A man always has a soft spot, discover this and he would answer to your whims and caprices.

The yorubas have a simple saying that your bulkiness or largeness does not open a door ,its someone with the key that unlocks the door. Its that simple. You dont need to shout , huff and puff before you get what you want. Wisdom is the key.

And before the feminists pound on me am not saying you should go pandering but use your wisdom. There is a reason God gave you that brain . Use it.

Not sure I get what you were saying...

But 3rd party should be the last option

kulyie: So the last option is to involve the elders in your marital issh.why cant he tell his mother inlaw to teach her daughter how to do "cow girl style aka jokoleso'.smh.if you do not know how to handle your marriage without elders interference,you have no buisness with marriage

Amicable solution by returning her to her parenys house.when you married her she didnt shout and somewhere in the line she started shouting.shouldnt common sense tell you something is amiss.my wife who wasnt loud mouthed before suddenly became loud mouthed.you sat her down,no change.cant you go back and sit alone and think about the things you do that make her shout.no one shouts for nothing when shes not a mad woman.most women i know that shout didnt start shouting over night.they talk,beg,cajole,cry do everything and when that didnt work,shouting became a way to let out their supressed frustrations

except op wont say the whole truth.women dont shout for nothing.for every shouting and yelling,there is a reason.when op stops the thing he does that the wife isnt happy about,the shouting will stop,then he can quickly make her change her behaviour,thats compromise.

the only thing they call husband in nigeria os the ability to have s3x with a woman and impregnate her.. by the way husband is coined frome house -band.the ability of a man to bind his home together.but this days its a sorry story
d

onegig: thank Goodness you now agree theres a problem. How then do you solve it when the two cant communication. Yelling and shouting is not communication. From This case,the man wants an amicable resolution but how do you get it when she screams her eyes out? Tell me . How?

I am saying that A MAN THAT CANNOT HANDLE HIS MARRIAGE/WIFE WITHOUT EXTERNAL INVOLVEMENT FROM HER PARENTS OR WHEREVER HAS NO BUISNESS WITH MARRIAGE

pickabeau1: Not sure I get what you were saying...

But 3rd party should be the last option

kulyie:
the only thing they call husband in nigeria os the ability to have s3x with a woman and impregnate her.. by the way husband is coined frome house -band.the ability of a man to bind his home together.but this days its a sorry story
d

What part of Nigeria is this definition from?

I didnt know women are now equated with products that are now bought,sold and returned.see black mans mentality.smh

ileobatojo:

It's a business transaction. The wife's parents are providing good customer service jare. Abi, if you sell an expensive product, there should at least be a 2-3 yr warranty, no be so? The wife's parents collected hefty bride price, goats, yam, laptop, lace, gold, silver, orishirishi....They traded all that for their daughter who by the way still does not have a pin to call her own. When the customer realizes his product is defective (in this case, she was found to be an uncouth, rabid banshee), what again should he do? Return to the manufacturer for repair of course. She is still within her warranty period!

Marriage for the riff-raff, by the riff-raff, of the riff-raff 101! Pure comedy gold, I tell ya!

bukatyne: Since we have learnt that a husband dumps his loud mouthed wife in thr gathrring of her inlaws,

What does a wife with a loud mouthed husband do?

I will appreciate practical answers.

Who knows, someone may benefit from it

Maybe when a woman comes here and complain that her husbad has a loud mouth we ould give practical answers. Until then we would face the practical example we have here.

Mind you . No one agrees totally that what the man did is right. I do agree its kind of extreme but we dont really know options he has exhuasted just to get his wife to the talking table. He has turn her back, what happens after is my main concern and would justify his actions.

Does she change and agree to talk things through in a calm manner anytime they have a disagreement?

Would the action help them live as a better couple?

Those are what am concerned about.

ileobatojo:

It's a business transaction. The wife's parents are providing good customer service jare. Abi, if you sell an expensive product, there should at least be a 2-3 yr warranty, no be so? The wife's parents collected hefty bride price, goats, yam, laptop, lace, gold, silver, orishirishi....They traded all that for their daughter who by the way still does not have a pin to call her own. When the customer realizes his product is defective (in this case, she was found to be an uncouth, rabid banshee), what again should he do? Return to the manufacturer for repair of course. She is still within her warranty period!

Marriage for the riff-raff, by the riff-raff, of the riff-raff 101! Pure comedy gold, I tell ya!

Or maybe it's so cheap for the man that he doesn't mind losing both product and money paid. He just send off the product, take his money to buy another new product. This time a brand new one. He wouldn't want to put more money and time to fix the old product. Any problem with the new one, he does same thing. Just like we have on the offer with mobile telecoms.

In an attempt to condemn the action of one person, can we at least add decorum by refraining from generalising a whole tribe, culture, tradition or race because of the supposed sin of few.

It is never a good attitude painting everybody with the same brush because of the offense of a minute percentage of people. Doing it does not add weight to your argument nor evidence to your claim.

Treat individual as individual on the basis of his/her character and please desist from collective judgement. It doesn't go well with some of us..

Many parts of nigeria that see women as just 'products' or goods.abi if husbandship is beyond having sex wirh a woman,why will a man whos senses are intact return the girl to her parents without trying to check the genesis of the yelling.abi of marriage has now becpme for better for stay,for worse for go,they should stop sayong for better for worse till death do us part because they are lieing before God and man.they should start saying as long as i have it my eay,for stay,if i dont have it my way,for go

bellong:

What part of Nigeria is this definition from?

kulyie: I didnt know women are now equated with products that are now nought,sold and returned.see black mans mentality.smh

You didn't know? Yes o. They are property. Bought and fully paid for, and can be returned to manufacturer whenever desired.

bellong:

What part of Nigeria is this definition from?

Just for people like Bellong I put my stat at 99.1%. At least the 0.09% makes room for some

Go to politics or romance section and see the kind of breed we are having these days.
Twa! I give up!

It's not even advisable to spend time there before you start ranting like lunat1c.

kulyie: Many parts of nigeria that see women as just 'products' or goods.abi if husbandship is beyond having sex wirh a woman,why will a man whos senses are intact return the girl to her parents without trying to check the genesis of the yelling.abi of marriage has now becpme for better for stay,for worse for go,they should stop sayong for better for worse till death do us part because they are lieing before God and man.they should start saying as long as i have it my eay,for stay,if i dont have it my way,for go

You believe your description above is restricted to a particular country? No country is free from percentage of her populace exhibiting irrational and crass behavours. The fact that one single person took action against the norm means every other person does that?

Yes, the man acted wrongly and did what was uncalled for. However, how many of us here have not acted irrationally before against the norm? If the man in question were my brother, I would have known what to tell him but will never descend to ridiculing a majority because of the actions of a minority.

Chillisauce:

Or maybe it's so cheap for the man that he doesn't mind losing both product and money paid. He just send off the product, take his money to buy another new product. This time a brand new one. He wouldn't want to put more money and time to fix the old product. Any problem with the new one, he does same thing. Just like we have on the offer with mobile telecoms.

Lol, it's possible that it's too cheap! No need for time wasting then, just dump and buy the next property. Life's too short!

I don't see the reason why you are typing in FULL CAPS to make your point

It is equivalent to shouting

There are times in any relationship that one may need the counsel of the elders to mediate or will you say that means the parties are not mature

If that is your point then really no one is mature

Getting 3rd parties involved usually coonotes a breakdown in dialogue but I do not subscribe to sending the woman home in this manner

If dialogue has broken down and the inlaws do not give a cahoots
Then let there be seperation and if he is no more interested divorce

What is the intent of this action

kulyie: I am saying that A MAN THAT CANNOT HANDLE HIS MARRIAGE/WIFE WITHOUT EXTERNAL INVOLVEMENT FROM HER PARENTS OR WHEREVER HAS NO BUISNESS WITH MARRIAGE

Then in that case they should stop saying for better for worse till death do us part.it should now be,for beter for stay,for worse for go.

so this joke is what they call marriage? Afer all the aso ebi,EXPENSIve cakes,decoration,make up artist,bridal train and so on
thats marriage right?smh.

I can see how sweet it isr

ileobatojo:

You didn't know? Yes o. They are property. Bought and fully paid for, and can be returned to manufacturer whenever desired.

ileobatojo:

Lol, it's possible that it's too cheap! No need for time wasting then, just dump and buy the next property. Life's too short!

And the old product will remain in her parents house, waiting for another man, this time age 68 and above for true love and marriage.

kulyie: what is 'nayi' i hear that word a lot from some ibo women.what does that mean.sorry for the way i spelt it.thats how i hear it pronounced

It's like saying 'ókó mí'. Literally, it means our father (used to address either a husband or elders).

Which would people prefer? That he divorces her, she gets remarried prolly to someone less patient than the above guy and becomes a punching bag

OR

she gets the required training, gets back with her husband and the marriage works. Even though she remarries, she'll appreciate what her ex-husband did. For him to have done this, he must have tried everything possible to make the marriage work. Going by the OP, I don't think he laid a finger on her which few men would have done since.

If he brings another wife, ladies would scream 'unfaithful husband' saying why didn't he divorce her? He divorces her, problem. He beats her, all men are 'beasts'. He has an extra-marital affair, all men are 'dogs and they can't control their third legs'. What do y'all want men to do?

I still ask again, what is the best solution to the above problem since returning her for re-training is a problem assuming that every form of making the marriage work proved futile

Chillisauce:

And the old product will remain in her parents house, waiting for another man, this time age 68 and above for true love and marriage.

Of course! A 68yr quarter to kpai dude with small change in his pocket….How truer could the love be?

Feraz: It's like saying 'ókó mí'. Literally, it means our father (used to address either a husband or elders).

Which would people prefer? That he divorces her, she gets remarried prolly to someone less patient than the above guy and becomes a punching bag

OR

she gets the required training, gets back with her husband and the marriage works. Even though she remarries, she'll appreciate what her ex-husband did. For him to have done this, he must have tried everything possible to make the marriage work. Going by the OP, I don't think he laid a finger on her which few men would have done since.

*Facepalm*

Lmao!

I am typing in caps BECAUSE IT IS MY PHONE,I WORKED FOR THE MONEY I USED TO BUY THE PHONE AND CAN PRESS CAPS AS I LIKE TO DRIVE HOME MY POINT (i am joking o,i hope you take it as one before another bout starts )

Anyway to the issue getting a 3rd party in marriage is just courting for trouble because after husband and wife leaves.na una matter be the topic of gossip or when the elders get home,one of them will be like dont be like baba nkechi or dont be like mumy stella.they did this this and this.even yorubas say a matter cannot be too big to the extent that you cant say it.its your mouth you will use and say it.marriage should be about CONSTANT COMMUNICATION AND RESPECTING EACH OTHER)

pickabeau1: I don't see the reason why you are typing in FULL CAPS to make your point

It is equivalent to shouting

There are times in any relationship that one may need the counsel of the elders to mediate or will you say that means the parties are not mature

If that is your point then really no one is mature

Getting 3rd parties involved usually coonotes a breakdown in dialogue but I do not subscribe to sending the woman home in this manner

If dialogue has broken down and the inlaws do not give a cahoots
Then let there be seperation and if he is no more interested divorce

What is the intent of this action

ileobatojo:

Of course! A 68yr quarter to kpai dude with small change in his pocket….How truer could the love be?

Oh my! When he kpais, the man older children from previous wives kick her out of the family and the cycle continues.
Training indeed.

There is nothing wrong with a temporal seperation but in this manner the approach is insulting and shows contempt n a throwback to the woman as chattel days

If there is a breakdown in communication and the woman is being recalcitrant


Involve the elders if it fails
They will guide the process

Feraz: It's like saying 'ókó mí'. Literally, it means our father (used to address either a husband or elders).

Which would people prefer? That he divorces her, she gets remarried prolly to someone less patient than the above guy and becomes a punching bag

OR

she gets the required training, gets back with her husband and the marriage works. Even though she remarries, she'll appreciate what her ex-husband did. For him to have done this, he must have tried everything possible to make the marriage work. Going by the OP, I don't think he laid a finger on her which few men would have done since.

If he brings another wife, ladies would scream 'unfaithful husband' saying why didn't he divorce her? He divorces her, problem. He beats her, all men are 'beasts'. He has an extra-marital affair, all men are 'dogs and they can't control their third legs'. What do y'all want men to do?

I still ask again, what is the best solution to the above problem since returning her for re-training is a problem assuming that every form of making the marriage work proved futile

Yes but we are humans and consequently there will be issues in any relationship

So how do you suggest the matter be settled in the event that hisband n wife are not communicating

What's your idea

kulyie: I am typing in caps BECAUSE IT IS MY PHONE,I WORKED FOR THE MONEY I USED TO BUY THE PHONE AND CAN PRESS CAPS AS I LIKE TO DRIVE HOME MY POINT (i am joking o,i hope you take it as one before another bout starts )

Anyway to the issue getting a 3rd party in marriage is just courting for trouble because after husband and wife leaves.na una matter be the topic of gossip or when the elders get home,one of them will be like dont be like baba nkechi or dont be like mumy stella.they did this this and this.even yorubas say a matter cannot be too big to the extent that you cant say it.its your mouth you will use and say it.marriage should be about CONSTANT COMMUNICATION AND RESPECTING EACH OTHER)

Mr nayi the solution is that whenever she starts her shouting.he should listen to what she constantly shouts about,go back and have a quiet time with himself,trace the genesis of what is causing the shoiting and stop it.no woman shouts for nothing except she is a mad woman.there is somethong he is doing that is frustrating her.women too have feelings too.once you stip the man stops the thing his wife does,the shoiting will stop then he can make her change.that way no one knows your issh.returning the wife to her parents is like husband and wife washing their dirty linen in public

Feraz: It's like saying 'ókó mí'. Literally, it means our father (used to address either a husband or elders).

Which would people prefer? That he divorces her, she gets remarried prolly to someone less patient than the above guy and becomes a punching bag

OR

she gets the required training, gets back with her husband and the marriage works. Even though she remarries, she'll appreciate what her ex-husband did. For him to have done this, he must have tried everything possible to make the marriage work. Going by the OP, I don't think he laid a finger on her which few men would have done since.

If he brings another wife, ladies would scream 'unfaithful husband' saying why didn't he divorce her? He divorces her, problem. He beats her, all men are 'beasts'. He has an extra-marital affair, all men are 'dogs and they can't control their third legs'. What do y'all want men to do?

I still ask again, what is the best solution to the above problem since returning her for re-training is a problem assuming that every form of making the marriage work proved futile

Mr pickabeau i have already proferred solution that will keep her from shouting without the involvement of any one and without violence.read through my post.that mans action is not only BUSH,but HIGHLY DEGRADING AND EMBARASSING ON THE WIFES PART

pickabeau1: Yes but we are humans and consequently there will be issues in any relationship

So how do you suggest the matter be settled in the event that hisband n wife are not communicating

What's your idea

true.people will push you to your limits and tempt you.chaiiii.some nigerians ehen

Chillisauce: Go to politics or romance section and see the kind of breed we are having these days.
Twa! I give up!

It's not even advisable to spend time there before you start ranting like lunat1c.

Ok....