I hope you bought book of finishing school for boys because i am aware you have a 17 year old son.remember when you said you seized his ipad

have you trained him about urinating in public,belching and sneezing without covering the mouth,farting in public,carrying his private part every second,sagging his jeans,fighting and cussing in public etc

whatever is good for the goose is good for the gander also

chaircover:

LO@ finishing schools.

I bought this book from Amazon a couple of months ago for my daughter and we sat and read it together. Its never too early to start teaching then how to behave.

For those that cannot cook,i didnt know catering school has finished in Nigeria and as per the issue of calling a military guy,i also didnt know hitting of a strangers ass is a gentle manly behaviour

yellowpawpaw: K, if u r fighting for a cause, fight for the right reasons.

I can remember a post where u called a military man to beat up a trader simply bc he touched ur bombom. What u did was not better than what u r accusing some men of here. Pls don't throw stone if u live in a glass house.
This man sent d wife home to learn character. Maybe u r yet to c that type of women around u. I am a woman but cannot support foolishness from a fellow woman bc I want to support my gender.

Some pple hv been sent home to go and learn how to prepare a good meal not to talk of this.
We claim and want equality but we can never achieve it with this mindset. Great female pacesetters uses their brain, not their mouth.

Nigerian girls dey suffer no be small.
Man marry, travels and get married again and tell you to claim you are his cousin
Sucking above 70 sugar mama while you are carrying his baby.
I ask what stops you from traveling out to chase the green card yourself. Oh maybe because of what the society will say.

Marry you and return you back to your parents that you lack home training
But goes around to pick up another girl. After all, girls plenty. Why girls no go plenty when they have made the country shithole. No form of tourism, kidnapping, terrorism ...the little people of diverse culture we would have met is no longer available and we are stuck with the shitty militants .
God sef know say if him bring me back to Naija next time as a woman, I go even find my levels out before age 11.

Okokorioko, abeg if you travel go Ghana sef, the Ghanaians dey step up make foreigners no take all their women.
See them treated like queens and princesses.
Opoko.

But i didnt know that a man dragging out his wife out of the car and beating her in public is a decent behaviour and a young boy fighting in public with another boy up to the extent of tearing clothes and rolling on the floor is also a gentle man behaviour.all this stoopid double standards and sexism will take us nowhere.whatever is good for the goose is freaking good for the gander.jeez

Djtm:
exactly! I see a lot of teenage girls and I already know what type of wives they'll become later. Yelling women are very annoying! Only God knows what the man has been enduring for two years that the last resort was to drop her with her parents to train her. Although, it is an insult to the woman's family, they should also bear the insult since they refused to train their child in the first instance. I believe that by the time the woman returns to her husband's house, she would have been refined as they would have spoken sense into her head. It's better than hitting or divorcing her.

Exactly

Chillisauce: Nigerian girls dey suffer no be small.
Man marry, travels and get married again and tell you to claim you are his cousin
Sucking above 70 sugar mama while you are carrying his baby.
I ask what stops you from traveling out to chase the green card yourself. Oh maybe because of what the society will say.

Marry you and return you back to your parents that you lack home training
But goes around to pick up another girl. After all, girls plenty. Why girls no go plenty when they have made the country shithole. No form of tourism, kidnapping, terrorism ...the little people of diverse culture we would have met is no longer available and we are stuck with the shitty militants .
God sef know say if him bring me back to Naija next time as a woman, I go even find my levels out before age 11.

Okokorioko, abeg if you travel go Ghana sef, the Ghanaians dey step up make foreigners no take all their women.
See them treated like queens and princesses.
Opoko.

But acid pouring men,those that strip women naked for stealing and f1nga them,pour pepper in their private parts or those who set HUMAN beings ablaze including rap1sts dont need training abi.

fyi women are a reflection of our fvked up disgustingly pretentious society

Efemena_xy: ^^ CC forget that one sef.

Did you get to watch the program From Ladettes to Ladies?

Those fish-mouthed, shirt-tearing, knife-wielding creatures who call themselves married women need a good dose of training from those schools. A little bit of flower arranging to calm their frayed nerves is an extra bonus which won't go amiss.

I also didnt know it is a grave offence for a woman to express her frustrations about things she doesnt like,i didnt even know its not allowed for a woman not to like something her husband is doing,the consequences is to be thrown back to jer parents hoise without working things out.i cant even fathom what mothers teach their sons

DOUBLE STANDARDS I SUPPOSE.NO WONDER WE HAVE FHAGS and weak men ALL OVER The place.many women have lost their motherhood

yellowpawpaw:
CC, from what I was told about this kind of case, the man must hv complained, called the middleman, call family member, done lots of things but yet, nothing. If he can't endure again d only option is dumping her at her parents house. Its mostly the last option.
In cases like this, nobody ever support the woman. If she can't be humbled thru this way, then all hope is lost.
One I know of was bundled home by d husbands kingsmen. After staying home for like a year, nobody told her to behave. She was read the riot act b4 going back to the city again.

Bla bla bla doesn't solve a problem, stubborness doesn't pay, bad mouth doesn't make u smart. Use ur head and still get what u want from ur man 100%
A lot of women indirectly controls the affairs of their house simply becos they bend low. Most of these big shots we hv r married and glued to their wives. Wives indirectly control them but we wouldn't know. Its not achieved by razor mouth, but simply applying wisdom.

Nawaa o, I do dey fear our gals. What is really happening?

kulyie: I also didnt know it is a grave offence for a woman to express her frustrations about things she doesnt like,i didnt even know its not allowed for a woman not to like something her husband is doing,the consequences is to be thrown back to jer parents hoise without working things out.i cant even fathom what mothers teach their sons

DOUBLE STANDARDS I SUPPOSE.NO WONDER WE HAVE FHAGS and weak men ALL OVER The place.many women have lost their motherhood

Kulyie, I bet today is your day off. No get heart attack o .

pickabeau1: Hahahaha....

Tpia on point

@post
this is a throwback to the old days when women were chattel and really should have no place in this modern times
There is a customary dispute resolution process which the man should have followed that caters for the woman and the kids
If the inlaws decide to take him up and she marries someone else, is that his plan

Well.. this is the advantage of females being empowered in their own right

It is never his plan to marry another wife. Unless the inlaws chose that as their option.
He make his stand clear re-train your daughter and he will be ready to take her back.
I wonder why some people are of the opinion of the man been heartless. Before any reasonable man could took that step, you should al know that he has fought the battle and yet no reasonable changes.
Besides an insider said, the husband had informed the inlaws time without number but they did not count it to be something

Yes i get yoir jist

shouting is bad and can drive anyone crazy and there are also better ways of passing a message across but have you stopped to consider that before the woman ahouts (note that i am not supporting shouting) wouldnt ahe have talked,begged,cajoled,cried and all failed.if she starts her shouting,cant he leave the hoise for her so that when she doesnt see her husband for like 2 months and the guy eventually comes home,no one will tell her to use her senses necaise no doubt she will be scared and know she has pushed him to the wall for him leaving her in the house,dumping her back to her parents is highly insulting and degrading.isnt that what they call dalemoshu

chaircover:

Actually I train both my kids to be polite and well behaved; I their mother am well behaved so they don’t have a choice.

Now back to this shouting; you say there is a reason for her shouting abi? Is shouting the only effective method of communication. Has her shouting paid off in the long run?

Does she shout at her boss? Does she shout when she is stopped by police? Does she shout at her lecturers? . . . I am just asking o!

According to you, she has a reason to shout;
so he leaves the toilet seat up on Monday he gets shouted at . .
Tuesday he remembers to put the seat down but he squeezes the toothpaste from the middle so he gets shouted at again . . .
Wednesday he presses the toothpaste from the bottom & leaves the seat down, but he forgets to mop the floor after his shower, so he gets shouted at again . . .
Thursday he manages to get the bathroom routine right, but he forgets his phone at home and she cant contact him all day so she shouts at him again when he gets home

. . . .Hope you are getting my gist.

I also assume that since none of us are perfect, wifey too makes mistakes and does things wrong from time to time, so it’s OK for him to shout at her too? Will I be happy if I got shouted at by my husband every time I made a mistake?

We say we abhor domestic abuse . . .isn’t shouting a form of abuse? Must we shout at our spouses? Surely there must be better methods of getting ones point across.

Kulyie lets call a spade a spade, there is something very wrong with anyone who feels that shouting at his/her spouse is the best way to get their message across.

Yes i get yoir jist

shouting is bad and can drive anyone crazy and there are also better ways of passing a message across but have you stopped to consider that before the woman shouts (note that i am not supporting shouting) wouldnt she have talked,begged,cajoled,cried and all failed.if she starts her shouting,cant he leave the house for her so that when she doesnt see her husband for like 2 months and the guy eventually comes home,no one will tell her to use her senses becaise no doubt she will be scared and know she has pushed him to the wall for him leaving her in the house,dumping her back to her parents is highly insulting and degrading.isnt that what they call dalemoshu

chaircover:

Actually I train both my kids to be polite and well behaved; I their mother am well behaved so they don’t have a choice.

Now back to this shouting; you say there is a reason for her shouting abi? Is shouting the only effective method of communication. Has her shouting paid off in the long run?

Does she shout at her boss? Does she shout when she is stopped by police? Does she shout at her lecturers? . . . I am just asking o!

According to you, she has a reason to shout;
so he leaves the toilet seat up on Monday he gets shouted at . .
Tuesday he remembers to put the seat down but he squeezes the toothpaste from the middle so he gets shouted at again . . .
Wednesday he presses the toothpaste from the bottom & leaves the seat down, but he forgets to mop the floor after his shower, so he gets shouted at again . . .
Thursday he manages to get the bathroom routine right, but he forgets his phone at home and she cant contact him all day so she shouts at him again when he gets home

. . . .Hope you are getting my gist.

I also assume that since none of us are perfect, wifey too makes mistakes and does things wrong from time to time, so it’s OK for him to shout at her too? Will I be happy if I got shouted at by my husband every time I made a mistake?

We say we abhor domestic abuse . . .isn’t shouting a form of abuse? Must we shout at our spouses? Surely there must be better methods of getting ones point across.

Kulyie lets call a spade a spade, there is something very wrong with anyone who feels that shouting at his/her spouse is the best way to get their message across.

Lol.today is off o.my own xmas break has started.except i just feel like doing some little work at home.meanwhile OLORUN MAJE.my bp os very normal thanks for the care

olorun na a care fun e

Chillisauce:

Kulyie, I bet today is your day off. No get heart attack o .

kulyie: exactly.its illiterate women that this nonsense always happen to.i doubt whether she has a stable job with a stable income.i hardly hear of educated and empowered girls go through this disgusting indignities.

Thats why i pity this girls that their parents will tell,go to school and be sneaking out of school to see their boyfriends.thinking they are outsmarting their parents.before 17,they don turn them to apere ajase with children they dont know who their father is and at 21,their parents just push them into any semi illiterate man to marry so she doesnt turn liability in their house.


Shiooorrrr.aseni shey ara e

ọjọgbọn amoye ọrọyi kori bi oti ro oon.

She's educated but not working under govt or any company yet.
An insider said the husband want her to do business and has set up business for her, rather than looking for job.
What else then would you be looking in a man that has shown this commitment to his wife

Gbam

bukatyne:

I have no issue with sending her back; desperate times call for desperate measures ( if true)

My own is that there is no need for the public humilation. He disgraced his inlaws. A simple covet meeting with her family with him prostrating will be fine and he will even leave with their sympathy and gets his retrained wife and all is well.

The typical Nigerian marriage sounds worse than a maximum prison

Miner13:

It is never his plan to marry another wife. Unless the inlaws chose that as their option.
He make his stand clear re-train your daughter and he will be ready to take her back.
I wonder why some people are of the opinion of the man been heartless. Before any reasonable man could took that step, you should al know that he has fought the battle and yet no reasonable changes.
Besides an insider said, the husband had informed the inlaws time without number but they did not count it to be something

Also if he has involved the inlaws countless times, then this is more or less tantamount to seperation...

Ok since youve been kind enough to give more info
What manner of retraining does he want from the inlaws

Let me ask you a question

Is seperation insulting...

Do you believe in it and how should it be done ...

kulyie: Yes i get yoir jist

shouting is bad and can drive anyone crazy and there are also better ways of passing a message across but have you stopped to consider that before the woman shouts (note that i am not supporting shouting) wouldnt she have talked,begged,cajoled,cried and all failed.if she starts her shouting,cant he leave the house for her so that when she doesnt see her husband for like 2 months and the guy eventually comes home,no one will tell her to use her senses becaise no doubt she will be scared and know she has pushed him to the wall for him leaving her in the house,dumping her back to her parents is highly insulting and degrading.isnt that what they call dalemoshu

Thanks for the compliment.i receive it

so back to the issue.i have problems with both parties so i am not encouraging double standards by some people who claim the woman needs finesse and say nothing about the man

the woman fvkd up by shouting
even if shes right,it is enough for the man to use that against her if he was trying to get rid of her.shouting obviously is the worst form of communication

the mans behaviour too is too bush.what part of the planet is he living

both need counselling

as for the ojogbon.call me ojogbon kulyi e ;De

Miner13:

ọjọgbọn amoye ọrọyi kori bi oti ro oon.

She's educated but not working under govt or any company yet.
An insider said the husband want her to do business and has set up business for her, rather than looking for job.
What else then would you be looking in a man that has shown this commitment to his wife

kulyie: in your own school of thought i guess women should only be seen and not heard.they shouldnt have a voice and an opinion,their husbands word is final,all others are unreasonable.if that be so,animals will best be their companion

gentle men school of training for violence and anger management nko?

i posted this because i also want to learn from it.
We should not take aggression to reading any comment but what point you as a person can gain and also teach others.

Seperation is ok as a last resort afyer all modes of civility has failed but she is not a bag of rice to be dumped in her parents house.if they want to seperate,the wife is free to pack her bags and baggages to wherever.it now becomes her choice whether she wants to go to her parents house,friends house,hotel or rent a house

pickabeau1: Let me ask you a question

Is seperation insulting...

Do you believe in it and how should it be done ...

kulyie: Seperation is ok as a last resort afyer all modes of civility has failed but she is not a bag of rice to be dumped in her parents house.if they want to seperate,the wife is free to pack her bags and baggages to wherever.it now becomes her choice whether she wants to go to her parents house,friends house,hotel or rent a house

thanks for your response
I agree that the approach is wrong and he has heaped indignities on his inlaws


Can you further expatiate on the phrase "mode of civility".. at what point is that threshold reached and after what sort of actions

Well i am not being "aggressiv" about anthing.inly if you could see the look on my face while typing that.as matter of fact,i was being sarcastic

Miner13:

i posted this because i also want to learn from it.
We should not take aggression to reading any comment but what point you as a person can gain and also teach others.

pickabeau1: @chilli funny post as usual

I assume you don't have family in nigeria anymore or that you did not come through these same animals



@ypp.. One thing common to you and cc's post is that the man has good intentions and has involved the elders in his wife's case.

That may be wrong

His intent may be to get a new wife and why do we think he was not beating her before he bundled her off

The op has more info he does not want to share

well, i did not hide anything, the way i heard everything that's the way i put it down.

Even when i discovered more questions are arising from here i had to go in for more details and ensured i posted it as i received it.

Whether he beat her, an insider also make it known that nothing like.

Modes of civility e.g talking/ decent communication,apologizing,exchanging of gifts.however when the arguements begin to reach slapping each other,cussing,name calling,threatening with acid or knife,tearing of each others clothes,then call it a day.

thats the level many couples are in nigeria WHICH I HAVE SEEN

pickabeau1:

thanks for your response
I agree that the approach is wrong and he has heaped indignities on his inlaws


Can you further expatiate on the phrase "mode of civility".. at what point is that threshold reached and after what sort of actions

Miner13:

well, i did not hide anything, the way i heard everything that's the i put it down.

Even when i discovered more questions are arising from here i had to go in for more details and ensured i posted it as i received it.

Whether he beat her, an insider also make it known that nothing like.

I am just curious as to this approachby the man in question.. a seperation for a period of 3 to 6 months will also have the same impact with less vitriol from the inlaws

kulyie: Modes of civility e.g talking/ decent communication,apologizing,exchanging of gifts.however when the arguements begin to reach slapping each other,cussing,name calling,threatening with acid or knife,tearing of each others clothes,then call it a day.

thats the level many couples are in nigeria WHICH I HAVE SEEN

So if i get you , once communication breaks down in a marriage the next thing is seperation or else they will start beating each other up

Abi o

soul_glo: I am learning a lot from married people. So if I marry a Nigerian man can I send him back to his father to retrain him if I end up being stuck with all the financial responsibilities for a while? Obviously no one trained him as to what an African man is expected to do for his family. I should call my father in law and his brothers to come take him and not bring him back until he is ready to step up and be a man.

Chillisauce:

If you like include me, no wahala. But I'm not joking.
I will believe the guy is in the 1920's. This age sending someone back to her family? Na wa o.

I blame the woman's parents. That's what you get when you don't instill value to your daughters. When you think her value ends in kitchen, no financial responsibility whatever.
I bet she has no kobo in her wallet to even rent an apartment.
Nothing!
None to even start life afresh.
Truth remains the man is tired and looking for a milder way to divorce her without compensation.
Next the family will return her bride price to him.

OPOKO!

Woman, both families were not poor as you have guest it to be. If they were to set up their daughter i know they can do it and the husband also working with good take home.

kulyie: No doubt its rude to shout and yell at anybody irrespective of gender and age but sending a woman back to her parents house,what do they call that.


The bible refers to the men that put their hands in the plough and look back as what? I am not covering up evil but stewpeedity pisses me off.i thought they call that over hyped institution for better for worse.there is no marriage devoid of crisis and lapses from both parties but solving the issue in extreme measures solves nothing.for example if mr husband is down with cancer,the woman should run back to her parents and say i dont know how to care for a cancer patient,i cant cope and flees with her kids abi.is it not that the woman will go to any extent to ensure the man gets back to his normal self.no woman shouts and yells for nothing.it means there is something the man is doing that is paining her and its juat the way she can express what is paining her.why cant the man listen between the lines of her shouting and make necessary changes.why do africans feel once a woman is married she doesnt have choice a right to feelings etc.smh.orisirisi

with all this nonsense going on i still see many fat women,or does ot mean its the marital chaos thats making them add weight
may God have mercy on African women and a sucess of a woman means the sucess of a man.oshi nle pako

so, you mean if you have a daughter and you receive this type of information about her, you will leave her to be batard with punches or kill.

Or, are you saying you can act the same way?

Before nko.an example is romance or politics section.if you want to see all manners of cussing just go there and that usually happens when communication has broken down and i can bet my life that assuming those folks that are arguing saw each other,they will beat themselves or stab themselves.

Of which nl is a reflection of nigerians and its anonymous yet cuuses and insults fly around like no mans buisness despite mods and censored words.so imagine if there was none

pickabeau1:

I am just curious as to this approachby the man in question.. a seperation for a period of 3 to 6 months will also have the same impact with less vitriol from the inlaws



So if i get you , once communication breaks down in a marriage the next thing is seperation or else they will start beating each other up

kulyie: @chillisauae before nko.i guess she falls under the category of baba bisi owo obe ti tan o,baba bisi,owo pampers ti tan,baba bisi,bra mi ti ya

kulyieeeeee han han!
Kilo le to yen

Never!

I am saying that a perso old enough to get married should be old enough to fix his sh1t when it comes up.meanwhile i never referred to anything like battery and even if she is battered, i will rather have my daughter divorced and alive than for her to be forming mrs endurance before she dies like titi.tufffiiiaaakwah

Miner13:

so, you mean if you have a daughter and you receive this type of information about her, you will leave her to be batard with punches or kill.

Or, are you saying you can act the same way?

Its just an illustration na

why you dey exclaim

Miner13:
kulyieeeeee han han!
Kilo le to yen