ivyy:

Am going to have to agree with this poster. This isn't your first thread about this issue so am guessing you want or need results fast.

The funy truth is, men first get attracted to what they see. Gradually the get to fall inlove with who you are based on your character, upbringing , persona etc.
Long story short, I think it would be a good idea to have your pic on your profile. Please don't upload in here,but your profile. That should help a lot

While I would advice you never to go for something less than you want, I'd also like to bring your attention to reality.
In truth, most men and women into pastoral busineses aren't there bcoz they were called by GOD. Many are into it only because of the money. The worst part is, its hard to really tell. Why? Well because they have to perfect the performance they put up as pastor and pastor mrs.

In my opinion, all you need is a man who loves, respects and strongly believes in God. A good natured man. What if Gods plan for you isn't a yoruba man or a pastor in the making? Do you then continue to search fruitlessly? Or perphaps you finally do get the pastor you want and then few years into the marriage you find out it was all a facade?

Coz I tell you the human skin is deep and has layers of hiden scary truths. Anyone can be just as evil and satanic and pastors aren't secluded. Infact some people who claim to be good christians or fanatics for the Lord have the worst character traits.

Hence, your coming to tell us here that your a good christain does not necesaryly mean your good natured.

My basic point is, look out for the primary values a woman looks out for in a man she wants to marry. Don't restrict your scope to just pastors and men that come from the same tribe as yours. Most importantly make sure you fall inlove genuinly, make sure your loved in return.
Don't just dabble into marriage because you think your time is long over due.

Wishing you the best

exactly what am saying..

@ coolmoon 500

God will give u the bone of ur bone and the flesh of ur flesh.

It is very disheartening that the marriageable guys don't see marriage as issues again dis days and this can be blamed on economic situation which has rendered so many guys miserable.


Keep praying and God will grant you your desire.

dady12: this is the appointed time for you,search no more,just be prayerful and see what God ve for you,i reside outside nigeria ,i ve a word for you only if you can reply to my mail,just a word of advice which no man ve giving u here,email me at sergeantakilo@yahoo.ie ,please note that my message for you is not connected in eating your cake but to advice you wisely from practical experience

Advice? And you can't state it here? SMH

Hmmm..

coolmoon500: Hello guys,compliments of the season to everyone,hope everyone is doing great.

I'm actually feeling led to post here,though I don't post much at all,but for some reason,I woke up this morning and was feeling abit incomplete,hence coming here to seek some advice on how to live through it all.
I understand that I would get encouraging comments as well as immature and ridiculous comments,but all in all,its the grace of God that has kept us all sane and alive till date.

I never thought I'd be the lady staying calm and waiting almost endlessly for the one I would spend the rest of my life with.the one who would one day become my husband and the father of my children.my best friend and love.

I'm generally not the woman you would see often on d streets as I am mostly indoors,I was brought up to be around home,and as such days I have tried going out on my own hasn't been fruitful.I end up spending a few minutes out,then head back home,I also have limited friends because most of the ones I call friends are away in far cities and countries. The few I have around are mostly all married and don't hang out much either.

I am a christian and have noticed that I have a thing for christian men who are filled with the word of God.needless to say that I would eventually be gettin into ministry in my older years,and every prophetic word I have heard about my marriage has pointed to the fact that the man God has prepared for me would also most likely be in ministry and a huge God lover.

Now the thing is where on earth is this man?I am tired of waiting and I don't want to make a mistake.I am in my late 20's slowly approachin 30 soon and would like to settle within the next one year.

My family is puttin a lot of pressure on me and I am starting to crumble under the pressure of havin to remain sane while waiting for my own.I have indeed met a lot of other men who I dare not settle with.eg party rockers,drinkers,womanizers and the rest.does it mean that all the good men are taken?

Asides waiting,I also want to feel loved,wanted and appreciated.I want him so much already.

I am a professional lady,I am yoruba,I am gentle,kind hearted and want to continue serving God.

what can I do to remain calm?

how long more would I need to wait?

does it mean that there is no other Godly man out there?

Go away jor. Gud guys must av kom to toast u wen u were younger but u dump dem cos de arent rich but as u ar getting old u ar now lookin for d innocent guy to settle with.

Just pray

12 inches!:
Where were u when your mates were getting hooked? You were busy taking guys through hoops and hurdles. Now you're looking for husband. The truth is I don't feel sorry for you because I'm sure that at one point in time in your life there must have been a guy who rily wanted you but because of your shakara and poor discernment, you didn't agree to date him. Maybe he wasn't rich enough, or fresh enough or gospel enough. Now you want us to mop with you.

what Oyindamola put me through?!
....I gave her everything,but she decided she had to move on.I thgt maybe she was only inlove with my money,or she wasn't ready for my kind of love.real love!

Sweetheart, if I say I understand how you feel, then I lie because no one but yourself can have an inkling of what you are going through. Only you know how the pressure from your family and environment affects you. But then, what I can say to you is not to give up. Always have this at the back of your mind that he will never leave nor forsake you. His time is the perfect time for you because he is a redeemer. As a lover of God, he has no other option than to love you in return. Be cheerful and have faith. It is well.

byvan: Always know there is no perfect man out there, you just have to settle for who you love and
can tolerate.Must it be a religious leader?Being a Christian man doesn't necessarily make one a husband material you know.

dnt mind her jare,being a christian doesn't mean u must marry a christian.I'm a muslim and I'm gonna marry frm any.

Eragablessen: Very simple, remain calm, remain humored as you outrightly claimed.

You can't get husbands staying indoors, not smiling with the male folks.
church is a good point in start but then, are you charisma? are you friendly? do you counsel anyone who cries to you for hope? are you tender? industrious? beautiful @ heart?
if you can judge those questions rightly, then if not cause of education, a lady of those quality should have been married even @ the age of 23.


My simple piece ma'am.

Hian! We have suffered. But I have friends who got married at 23 and are divorced now. Where did their marriage at 23 take them? OP God will help you o, when you find him, if he has a godly brother remember other singles in your paradise!

12 inches!:
Where were u when your mates were getting hooked? You were busy taking guys through hoops and hurdles. Now you're looking for husband. The truth is I don't feel sorry for you because I'm sure that at one point in time in your life there must have been a guy who rily wanted you but because of your shakara and poor discernment, you didn't agree to date him. Maybe he wasn't rich enough, or fresh enough or gospel enough. Now you want us to mop with you.

Priceless


Please forward your account number

Ewuro707: Church, choir, group meetings( lot of groups in church), christainmingle.com and all other Christian dating sites.

I kinda concur with that poster who questioned your integrity-'birds of the same feather flock together'. If you're indeed what you described yourself to be and approached by those aforementioned pool of men , then something's not adding up here.

That said, I wish you well.

pls dnt follow these kind of advise stay true to urself. I dnt believe in dis kind of sayings. Found love at 33, and thank God i kept my cool. To tell you the truth pple will give u all sorts of advice n it will shake ur faith. Hold on a little longer his closer than u tink.

wow!.. this is one trend wit alot sane nd nice people.. I guess the sarcastic nd rude ones are on break..
Op all the best.. mix up more and be nice to people u neva know who is watching you!!

This is the irony of life.The one with head and without cap moans and complains,while the one without head dey complain say cap no fit,no be type...Its an adage.Life like i said is full of mysteries.We find happiness sometimes in strange places.Many people have a childhood dream of what and h ow they want their lives to be, but ended with miseries and woes.While some who even cared less, are fortunate to meet that one person who could show and give them true love and attention.It is this lifetime, some women found true happiness after they are labelled widows or divrocees, some ended up as second or third wife or even mistresses to the only man who truly cared and understand them.Its all irony of life.

Some men also found solace in women of easy virtues, some ended up marrying someone much older yet that is where their happiness lies.

Ops, don't feel its over yet.If your man is not in Nigeria or even in Africa, the one that might be your soul mate maybe somewhere in a far away a land.Spread your tentacles. Don't let tribe,religion or race castigate you.Your miracle of who your soul mate is out there waiting for you,however before then, ask yourself what kind of a man you need?..."Seek and you shall find".

Peace!!!..Sorry i for apply but my eye dey abroad and God willing...i shall be a father of many nations.

They dere dey wait make oluwa give u husband,no enter street hustle 4 urself.When u clock 40 u go tink say na trailer bash u!!!#AShaWO.#playing hard to get,u don tire to dey play am abi

coolmoon500: Hello guys,compliments of the season to everyone,hope everyone is doing great.

I'm actually feeling led to post here,though I don't post much at all,but for some reason,I woke up this morning and was feeling abit incomplete,hence coming here to seek some advice on how to live through it all.
I understand that I would get encouraging comments as well as immature and ridiculous comments,but all in all,its the grace of God that has kept us all sane and alive till date.

I never thought I'd be the lady staying calm and waiting almost endlessly for the one I would spend the rest of my life with.the one who would one day become my husband and the father of my children.my best friend and love.

I'm generally not the woman you would see often on d streets as I am mostly indoors,I was brought up to be around home,and as such days I have tried going out on my own hasn't been fruitful.I end up spending a few minutes out,then head back home,I also have limited friends because most of the ones I call friends are away in far cities and countries. The few I have around are mostly all married and don't hang out much either.

I am a christian and have noticed that I have a thing for christian men who are filled with the word of God.needless to say that I would eventually be gettin into ministry in my older years,and every prophetic word I have heard about my marriage has pointed to the fact that the man God has prepared for me would also most likely be in ministry and a huge God lover.

Now the thing is where on earth is this man?I am tired of waiting and I don't want to make a mistake.I am in my late 20's slowly approachin 30 soon and would like to settle within the next one year.

My family is puttin a lot of pressure on me and I am starting to crumble under the pressure of havin to remain sane while waiting for my own.I have indeed met a lot of other men who I dare not settle with.eg party rockers,drinkers,womanizers and the rest.does it mean that all the good men are taken?

Asides waiting,I also want to feel loved,wanted and appreciated.I want him so much already.

I am a professional lady,I am yoruba,I am gentle,kind hearted and want to continue serving God.

what can I do to remain calm?

how long more would I need to wait?

does it mean that there is no other Godly man out there?

Remain there and continue waiting i can assure you that you'll waiting for forever until 18yr old fellows begin to address you as ma'am

My advice for you is to willingly and freely give out that thing to one of those people you've labelled as womanizers,party animals and the bottle clutching fellows they might just turn out to become the best guy ever after encountering you unless you doubt the power of change which is the only constant phenomenon in life,

My Mom once told me that initially marriage is always filled with this out of this world excitement ,love ,emotions but after five years or ten years of marriage reality hits home ,the entire game changes and marriage becomes tolerance and perseverance for both parties though there is a threshold and range of things that can be tolerated.

Finally ,look for somebody that has 50% of all you want in your man complete the 40% for this guy with love and later tolerance and the remaining 10% you can handover to God and walk into marriage with bravado always hoping for the worst but the truth is there is no perfect happiness in this life .But if you want a man that is 100% then you'll be sitting on a looooooong thing

you will get what is yours at thr right time.

adbokus:
Are u kidding me lady, i've been here the whole tym bt u just wouldn't come far outdoors!...bt it's nt too late, u're just on time...to join our heaven-ordained forced and move the ministry to permanent site!
On anoda note though, i want to salute ur courage, fortitude and resolve..in a world where ladies offer themselves freely on the alter of promiscuity and vulgarity to find a partner, it's impressive to come across one dazzling in feminine purity!.. All one can pray is that that which ur heart desires u find it, very quickly too. I hope, miss coolmoon, dat da next tym i'l be coming across any of ur contributns here, soon i must add, it would be a tale of fulfilment and bliss! Cheers...

u well so? Y did u quote me only to talk trash to d op? My guess, u re a learner, now vamoose comot for here, bloody civilian!

Staying indoors may not be the solution...but if u really not comfortable going out, you may want to try this members only Christian dating site http:\\www.ncsnonline.com. I think I have mentioned it severally before on other threads and I now know two ppl who have managed to achieve something from their........of course with God' grace.


........but again you still will have to go out to meet up with whoever you find or whoever finds you online

Waiting the best answer to ur plight is one of d most difficult things to do, not only because u needed endurance and long suffering to keep the faith but also beacuse u can never have waited enough in life. No, is either u have waited or not,until d end, keep d FAITH,u relationship and family eventually is important to all. Navigate d Narrow path,get d Comforter as ur Encourager. u are closer than ever

San Miguel: Hmmm..

Infact dis lady jus described me except for the church part,I ask for d grace of God to b serios with church activities and also be close to Him. Am in my 30s alrdy and broke off wit my bf of 7yrs wen no sign of seriosness. Gues I was stupid enof not to see d signs and again I wasn't goin out to evn see odas to knw wat I was in was wrong. I hav told God 2014 is my year,I really must draw close to Him and also locate dat God ordained person frm whom I was taken frm his ribs. Its not impossible,God can do it. Am nt rily a social pesn don't know hw to go out and hav fun maybe because d guy I dated ddnt do all of dat for me. And I feel its too late to stat doin all dos cos I might fil childish. Tried a few guys afta d breakup,most jus want u for ur kitty,and waste ur time wch I doubt I hav much. But I am convinced smtn gud wil com out for u @OP and for me and for many odas lik dat. I don't wnt to be dat desperate to accept jus anytin all because my mates are getn married and hav kids

He drinks,he smokes,he does not go to churchthe perfect guyYou will wait till eternity...My 1 kobo...You dont have to settle for what you dont like and at the same time??there are still things neede to be done...If you pray harder,the right man will come and marry you,someone like JESUS and you can be happy...my 1 Dirhams...You go wait tire for Jesus,holy man!!!

i wil like to meet u

@Coolmoon500
Sincerely,your concerns seem very much clear.Issues as such make you feel left behind,having witnessed some of your colleagues getting married and you are yet to have a match.
Someone already hinted this point but I would probably buttress it further. You have given a broad picture of who you are and believe me, your kind of person isn't rare. In fact, I happen to be one only that I am a male and not under pressure.
If you have to be factual, such a lifestyle poses restrictions and limits your horizons and chances. I have found this to be somehow my limitation too as I find it difficult to go out. Even when I do, I don't really spend much time outside despite the fact that no one is there to check my movement. I live alone and I have a relatively good job but I just don't really stay out for long.
Owing to this, I've not really had the luxury of meeting someone I can really focus on as a genuine partner.
From the tone of your post which I believe someone also mentioned,it so clear that you already have a preset and predefined mind about the man you want. Trust me,it's good to know what you want but at the same, it's like finding a needle in a haystack. Lower your guards a bit and lighten your requirements. You can't find all you have listed in a man. Even when your married friends tell you their spouse is an angel from heaven, don't get confused because if you're fortunate to go into their homes,you will realize things aren't as juicy as they paint them to be.
Like someone said,marrying a pastor does not in anyway guarantee a successful home.
Well,to wrap this up,my advise to you is to redefine your search to mean someone who will love,cherish and respect you,someone that will ensure your happiness always and also reliable. A man that is capable of all this is what you need. Cheers

Lady, patience has always been the most difficult task for a christian...try to be patient...u're a true believer- are u ready to açcept God's will? It could be very difficult atimes. The ball is in ur court, dear!

Well, I'm not the type to give advices like this cos I'm not up to marriage age yet. If I was, I'll av started praying.Lol. Going 2ru what u said, madam u look like Gold. Sorry, u're the golden wife few pple need in this generation. And pple like u r not only scarce, they're fast dying.

The second worst thing after hell, is a bad marriage. Ur marriage in a way, determines if u'll make heaven or not(God hates divorce). I believe this so dearly.

A Yoruba adage says 'wara gbigbona ko dabi wara tutu, eni ba mu wara tutu, a ma dun l'enu eni'. Patience is not denial. My mom hates to hear when I say I'll marry at 40 if I want. Don't forget the amount of time Gold spends in the fire.. Heb 10:36, 12:1.. .

Your future husband will come with Jesus during his second coming, just be patient and wait for him.

Sorry, just kidding. This your "man of God" ish though may just be the reason 'men' will put you at arms length.

Lower your demands.

I don't know whether to tag my own " To my future wife" or use other caption, but all I could say is that we are in the same boat but with little variation.
Description of my personality:
Age: Btw 30-35
Highest Education: B.Sc. (Masters in view)
Tribe: Yoruba
Job: (Entrepreneur in Academic Research Field)
Income: Not stable but averages 1m per annum
Disposition: Kind, logical, less religious but not atheist , researved, creative, ambitious
Handsomeness: Average
Height: 5 7"
Complexion: Light-skinned but not too bright
Genotype: AA
Location: Ogun State

@op
What job do you do?
Where are you located?
What is ur level of education?
@ the bolded, what do you have to say?

Truckpusher: Remain there and continue waiting i can assure you that you'll waiting for forever until 18yr old fellows begin to address you as ma'am

My advice for you is to willingly and freely give out that thing to one of those people you've labelled as womanizers,party animals and the bottle clutching fellows they might just turn out to become the best guy ever after encountering you unless you doubt the power of change which is the only constant phenomenon in life,

My Mom once told me that initially marriage is always filled with this out of this world excitement ,love ,emotions but after five years or ten years of marriage reality hits home ,the entire game changes and marriage becomes tolerance and perseverance for both parties though there is a threshold and range of things that can be tolerated.

Finally ,look for somebody that has 50% of all you want in your man complete the 40% for this guy with love and later tolerance and the remaining 10% you can handover to God and walk into marriage with bravado always hoping for the worst but the truth is there is no perfect happiness in this life .But if you want a man that is 100% then you'll be sitting on a looooooong thing

. In short willingly and freely give out that thing to Truckpusher.

Getting husband is now considered a miracle?

Na wa o, which way nigeria.

Lord have mercy.