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Stats: 2,932,126 members, 7,091,132 topics. Date: Wednesday, 28 September 2022 at 01:48 AM
|To My Future Husband by coolmoon500(f): 11:27am On Dec 26, 2013|
Hello guys,compliments of the season to everyone,hope everyone is doing great.
I'm actually feeling led to post here,though I don't post much at all,but for some reason,I woke up this morning and was feeling abit incomplete,hence coming here to seek some advice on how to live through it all.
I understand that I would get encouraging comments as well as immature and ridiculous comments,but all in all,its the grace of God that has kept us all sane and alive till date.
I never thought I'd be the lady staying calm and waiting almost endlessly for the one I would spend the rest of my life with.the one who would one day become my husband and the father of my children.my best friend and love.
I'm generally not the woman you would see often on d streets as I am mostly indoors,I was brought up to be around home,and as such days I have tried going out on my own hasn't been fruitful.I end up spending a few minutes out,then head back home,I also have limited friends because most of the ones I call friends are away in far cities and countries. The few I have around are mostly all married and don't hang out much either.
I am a christian and have noticed that I have a thing for christian men who are filled with the word of God.needless to say that I would eventually be gettin into ministry in my older years,and every prophetic word I have heard about my marriage has pointed to the fact that the man God has prepared for me would also most likely be in ministry and a huge God lover.
Now the thing is where on earth is this man?I am tired of waiting and I don't want to make a mistake.I am in my late 20's slowly approachin 30 soon and would like to settle within the next one year.
My family is puttin a lot of pressure on me and I am starting to crumble under the pressure of havin to remain sane while waiting for my own.I have indeed met a lot of other men who I dare not settle with.eg party rockers,drinkers,womanizers and the rest.does it mean that all the good men are taken?
Asides waiting,I also want to feel loved,wanted and appreciated.I want him so much already.
I am a professional lady,I am yoruba,I am gentle,kind hearted and want to continue serving God.
what can I do to remain calm?
how long more would I need to wait?
does it mean that there is no other Godly man out there?
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|Re: To My Future Husband by Eragablessen(m): 11:41am On Dec 26, 2013|
Very simple, remain calm, remain humored as you outrightly claimed.
You can't get husbands staying indoors, not smiling with the male folks.
church is a good point in start but then, are you charisma? are you friendly? do you counsel anyone who cries to you for hope? are you tender? industrious? beautiful @ heart?
if you can judge those questions rightly, then if not cause of education, a lady of those quality should have been married even @ the age of 23.
My simple piece ma'am.
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|Re: To My Future Husband by bellong: 11:45am On Dec 26, 2013|
I understand your frustration and exhaustive patience. However, He makes all things beautiful in His time and not our time. A lot of single ladies have made terrible and life threatening mistake because of impatience.
While waiting for the right man, keep adding values to yourself, study good and bad marriages to learn how a home should be, read books and enjoy your singlehood to the maximum in a godly way. "The vision may tarry, wait for it, it shall speak..." You need to exercise patience and trust God with all your heart. Need I add that this is the time you should draw closer to God not for what He can give but pleasing and doing His will.
So my sister, do not let your age or pressure from any source push you to do what is not right. Do not mind people talking about you closing to 30. I wonder the importance of the age if one lives a useless life.
NB: maybe I should open an advocate center where I can educate parents who mount pressure on their children about marriage. Nobody should be pressurised to marry nor given time table on how to live his/her life. If you can't handle their pressure, call on me and I promise you they will never ask you question about marriage again till you are ready.
|Re: To My Future Husband by bellong: 11:48am On Dec 26, 2013|
It is not of him that wills nor of him that runs, it is of God that shows mercy. The battle is not to the strong nor race to the swift neither meat for men of understanding but Time and Chance happens to them all.
Her time and chance may yet to arrive..It is not just by qualities bro, the Godfactor is also important..
|Re: To My Future Husband by coolmoon500(f): 11:58am On Dec 26, 2013|
awwww, thanks a lot for your response so far, I appreciate it.
well the God factor, no man has the power to control that, because when God says it is time, then it truly is time.
@eragablessn, yes I know that I cant possibly meet all good men if I remain indoors, but iv also tried in my own power to go out and enjoy the great outdoors. yes there are good men in church but majority of the ones I have seen are either engaged or hooked. I believe I am also tender and gentle at heart, I am very industrious, I am goal driven, encouraging and make out time to develop myself always.
well I wanted to get married at age 25, but id be 28 in a few months. I guess God has great plans for each of us, though it may not go as one may have planned.
thanks @bellong, the pressure is not a joke, but I try to remain sane and calm with it all.
|Re: To My Future Husband by Eragablessen(m): 11:59am On Dec 26, 2013|
^^^@ bellong, i concur your notion but my piece of cake lies on character nd attributes.
lik the op earlier emphasised on meeting only the womanizers, drunks, party freaks and cheats.
as simple nd ridiculous it may sound. ''birds of same feather, flock together'' bliv me, no condemnation intended buh did d op live her life to the footprints of others to follow?
I'm sure indebted nd obliged to her pains nd despair ofcos.
|Re: To My Future Husband by Nobody: 12:02pm On Dec 26, 2013|
Patience is the key wait a little God has a plan for you
|Re: To My Future Husband by bellong: 12:04pm On Dec 26, 2013|
When you go out, where do you go to? Do you have male friends? Who are the friends in your click and how do you guys relate?
The pressure keeps coming because you are yet to read them the riot act. Do not let anybody mount pressure on you including yourself.
|Re: To My Future Husband by coolmoon500(f): 12:14pm On Dec 26, 2013|
I like books, so I go to a Christian bookshop, I go to the movies, weddings, then anywhere else that sounds fun.
I do have some male friends, but 2 of them recently just got married to their old time gf.
the friends I have now are cool, calm girls, they also don't go out much.
to the person who asked, when I said iv met drinkers, etc, I don't drink, but don't knw how I ended up meeting some. okay some I met tru friends, somebody may say, ohh that ur friend, give me her number,etc. then id find out they are abit too wild for me, so that's how I actually met some. tried making some calm down, but didn't work much.
the men I dated and one actually proposed but we had to end the relationship because of genotype AS issue. both AS. it wasn't funny, and I was hurt. but that was a while ago and im ready to meet my own.
lol at riot act. would my mother/father wait to even listen to me quote out the sections? I don't think so dear.
|Re: To My Future Husband by bellong: 12:19pm On Dec 26, 2013|
They don't have to wait to listen to your riot act. You read it to them whenever they bring their pressure. Deal with their constant nagging about your issue.
|Re: To My Future Husband by Eragablessen(m): 12:24pm On Dec 26, 2013|
you burden has become ours, we shall pray for you Miss coolmoon.
@ bellong, i respect your motives and positive thinking, it takes the grace of God interms of marriage.
though I'm young, buh that aspect of marriage, is somfin i don't wanna talk about coz of fear.
May God assist you Miss coolmoon.....!!!
|Re: To My Future Husband by oyinbogirl(f): 12:27pm On Dec 26, 2013|
Patience dear, even though its hard @ times I know.Everything has its correct time. Jut out of curiousity though, are you fine if you never marry?
|Re: To My Future Husband by bellong: 12:28pm On Dec 26, 2013|
Thanks bro.... Yes, it takes the grace of God. Nevertheless, we should not let the grace be in vain by playing our part through patience, love and developing a good relationship with the maker.
You don't have to entertain fear when it comes to marriage. The way you are diligent with what you do and relationship with others should help you in arriving at your destined location.
It is well
|Re: To My Future Husband by Nobody: 1:04pm On Dec 26, 2013|
You are just 28 so its not yet time to press the panic button and please do not let anyone pressure you yet. You say you love Christian men so at least you know what you want. So the question is where are you likely to get Christian men? Church is the simple answer! Again not all men in Church are Christians but I believe you have the Spirit of God and you will be able to tell the difference.
I also encourage you to get more involved in Church activities, bible study, mid-week service, become a worker and put yourself in a position where you will meet Christian men. Again be careful cos lots of bad boys in church these days but you have the Spirit of God in you and you will know the difference. I can even suggest you try get close to your Pastor or his wife. Lots of Pastors actually do hook-ups with Church members these days and if you pastor is nice, he could hook you up with a nice gentleman in church. Again, tell you friends and their husbands too that they could hook you up with your husband's friends or cousins etc. You just cant stay at home and expect Mr right to come around. Some people dont like hook-ups but I see nothing wrong in it.
Lastly you say you are a professional, dont you have friends where you work? Try socialise more and go for Christmas parties and office parties, you could meet someone there as well. But please make sure you know what you want in a man because there are devils out there who are just waiting to prey on young innocent girls like you so be careful. You are a Christian and remember the virtues of Christianity. God help you.
|Re: To My Future Husband by 4tunebest(f): 1:26pm On Dec 26, 2013|
@ OP, if I didnt know any better, I'd say we are one and same person especially with the part of your post quoted above. However, unlike your own case, my family isnt mounting any pressure whatsoever. I guess mine is bearable because God actually showed me the reason(s) I had to call off a long term relationship which was to lead to marriage. It was very painful 'cos that was my first relationship, and I was hoping it would be the last. I had no other choice when He gave me Jeremiah 1:5, Amos 3:3 and Habakkuk 2:3, plus some other things which I may not be able to share here. So as you can see,you arent alone and there are several people going through thesame thing as you; yours is not the worst case scenario.
All I can say is that He is preparing you for the task ahead in your ministry and in your home. See this waiting period as an opportunity for you to develop yourself spiritually as it would come in handy when you get married. You will agree with me that staying married is more important than getting married. Cheers
|Re: To My Future Husband by coolmoon500(f): 1:29pm On Dec 26, 2013|
Thanks a lot guys!
To the person asking if I'm fine,all I'd do is smile.I would not blow my own horn,but yes I am indeed goodlooking.
I'm cute,and have some really attractive features. I'm average height,about 5"5,brown skin,nice eyes that always attract the wrong men,they call it bedroom eyes,lol.
I'm not fat or slim,some define me as portable.lol!
I decided to leave that out from my earlier post because I don't want to seem vain.
I spoke to my church pastor and his wife a few weeks ago and he ministers in the prophetic.he said I need not rush because the man God has made for me would be a major encouragement to my ministry,and ofcourse all the past men can't be bothered much with church.
I am a God lover and try as much as possible to keep his laws and stay close to church.
Yes I'm a professional,we do have get togethers which I try to attend,but nothing yet.
I appreciate all your replies.
|Re: To My Future Husband by Nobody: 1:40pm On Dec 26, 2013|
coolmoon500: Thanks a lot guys!
Have you tried hook-ups? Arranged dates?
|Re: To My Future Husband by coolmoon500(f): 2:10pm On Dec 26, 2013|
no, I havnt tried arranged dates or hookups.
|Re: To My Future Husband by Nobody: 2:35pm On Dec 26, 2013|
Always know there is no perfect man out there, you just have to settle for who you love and
can tolerate.Must it be a religious leader?Being a Christian man doesn't necessarily make one a husband material you know.
|Re: To My Future Husband by Nobody: 2:48pm On Dec 26, 2013|
Church, choir, group meetings( lot of groups in church), christainmingle.com and all other Christian dating sites.
I kinda concur with that poster who questioned your integrity-'birds of the same feather flock together'. If you're indeed what you described yourself to be and approached by those aforementioned pool of men , then something's not adding up here.
That said, I wish you well.
|Re: To My Future Husband by Nobody: 3:19pm On Dec 26, 2013|
Where were u when your mates were getting hooked? You were busy taking guys through hoops and hurdles. Now you're looking for husband. The truth is I don't feel sorry for you because I'm sure that at one point in time in your life there must have been a guy who rily wanted you but because of your shakara and poor discernment, you didn't agree to date him. Maybe he wasn't rich enough, or fresh enough or gospel enough. Now you want us to mop with you.
|Re: To My Future Husband by Kanwulia: 3:59pm On Dec 26, 2013|
The best things in life are not planned.
If you call yourself a 'Christian'. . . where is your faith?
Please, by LOVING YOURSELF FIRST. . . The real love will find you.
It is watching. . . but YOUR DESPERATION keeps scaring it away!
|Re: To My Future Husband by Nobody: 4:42pm On Dec 26, 2013|
Hard truth there by lady kanwulia.
Majority of us don't know what loving themselves mean.
@op, remember ur intended might not be anywhere near church.
|Re: To My Future Husband by tpia5: 4:56pm On Dec 26, 2013|
|Re: To My Future Husband by Nobody: 5:56pm On Dec 26, 2013|
Pm me lets make it happen. I'm not fine oh!!
|Re: To My Future Husband by dnacrystal: 6:15pm On Dec 26, 2013|
@op, oyinbogirl was asking if you're okay with never getting married in life; not if you're beautiful physically. I'm also curious.
|Re: To My Future Husband by gedtalks(m): 7:14pm On Dec 26, 2013|
Let me add my own one kobo advice, it might really help you if you try it out.
1. Stop being too conservative; you said you're an indoor person. If you keep staying indoors WHO wld see you? Come out of the shell and let ''the product'' be seen and heard.
2. Your appearance matters a lot- you need to look good 24/7 but in a generally accepted way. (neither too holy looking nor too sinful looking) . If you are Fat - loose the weight. Most guys (like me) ABHORE FAT GIRLS as wife cos they look lazy, dirty and sexually unattractive.
3. Your character- carrying Bible and going to church everyday DOES NOT MEAN you are good natured. Even satan goes to church these days and calls himself ''pastor''. BE SINCERELY GOOD NATURED. BE OPEN MINDED. BE SIMPLE NATURED. When a joke is funny laugh -be urself in a good mannered way. Let people see that you are humble by interracting with ALL classes of people. When you come across ''drunkards, party freaks'' and poor/illitrate men, DONT CARRY YOUR NOSE UP, their brother might just be Mr Perfect or Mr Perfect might just be watching you.
4. Be perfect in courtesy. Learn to greet anyone/everyone politely. Greeting alone has given thousands of girls husbands.
5. Be African minded if you want to marry an African man. Never engage in such discussions to show that you want to be ''equal'' to ur man. (its only a stupid man that will look down on a lady that exalts him). We Men expect that you RECOGNIZE us as the oga's. It makes us feel good and kills all our fears about you.
5. Be positive minded- imagine good things and smile and pray for them to come.
Goodluck my dear
|Re: To My Future Husband by Nobody: 7:16pm On Dec 26, 2013|
OP, stop hoarding punny
|Re: To My Future Husband by chukwuinya: 7:16pm On Dec 26, 2013|
jst d kind of person i would hav loved 2 spend d rest of my life with bt i am nt yet ready for it, i pray God bring ur way jst d man He wants u to marry,hey dont panic cos i know its gona b fine,He is watching
|Re: To My Future Husband by gedtalks(m): 7:43pm On Dec 26, 2013|
@Op...Paste your profile pics many guys would check you out through this thread (its trending).
I already did, but I saw umbrellas. Show us your beauty, we've heard a bit of your voice. Lets see
|Re: To My Future Husband by Temismith(f): 7:53pm On Dec 26, 2013|
|Re: To My Future Husband by Rhemar(m): 8:07pm On Dec 26, 2013|
You shouldn't allow pressure from anyone(not even ur parents) lead u to rush into taking decision. If u're convinced enough abt what u want nd d will of God for ur life then u nid nt panic 'cos God can never be pushed to act by time; he makes all things beautiful at his own time. Just be sure of what u want, where nd hw to get it which in ur case is d church nd 2ru prayers: all is well
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