That you're posting a thread to complain says you're fed up and want to dump his sorry ass, but want some validation from other people, you want to know you're doing the right thing. He's way older than you at 31, and completely irresponsible. How'd you end up with someone like that anyways? Walk away. He doesn't really love you.

I swear i've rily had a swell time on tis thread. Pple seem 2 hv a lot 2 say but lik d sayn goes, only he who wears d shoes knws wer it pinches d most. Let me break tis gist down a bit so u can all knw wer i'm coming 4rm:
-  we met wen we wer both unemployed & fresh out of schl
-  he's neva spent up to N1,000 on me at a go (not even close)
-  i do d cookn wit my money even wen we wer both unemployed (his neva workd as far as i knw)
-  d only time i eva askd 4 support 4 d meal, he gav me N200 reluctantly cos i insisted
-  he only calls me up on my birthdays, no gifts, cards, nothn
-  he flashes me all d time & expcts me 2 call. i don't blv in flashing so i hardly do
-  we had a humongous quarrel cos i had 2 insist forcefully dat he embarrases me by flashing
-  wen at his place, he loves it wen i slave away tryn 2 put tins in place by workn my butt out
-  he encourages me 2 buy tins 4 his relations weneva we go visitn even though he neva contributes a kobo
-  weneva he goes 2 luk 4 somtin 2 do, he calls me up & tells me how he's tryn so damned hard 2 get a job
-  afta wic he asks me 2 send him crdt as a way of supportn him

i'm not sayn i'm perfect either, but lik i said earlier on, i jst wnt som1 i can grow up wit, not som1 2 pull me bak.
if i go into more details abt d absurdity in d name of a rtnship, all d yaps i've gotten 4rm guyz on tis thread wld only worsen.

"I mean the much interest he shows on things concerning you.
2. Are his vision and goals what you want in your kind of man?
3. Are you comfortable with his features? By his features i mean the way he talks, the kind of friends he hangs out with, his size, looks, intelligence, etc.
"

as 4 these qqs by " wariowei "
yes 2 d 1st qq. He shows alot of interest & support in all i do & even encourages he 2 achieve more, but he doesn't have as much drive as i do. he seems content wit wat he is able 2 accomplish at every point.
As 4 qqs 2 & 3, hmmmm, sori 2 say but NO on both counts.
Even though i knw most pple wld insult me d more 4 my responses, i rily don't care cos its d simple truth. I'm in a dilemna here cos i thot i had found a ril man who can help me acccomlish my purpose in life. Also, he came at a time wen i was despirate and very lonely so in a way, he filled a void in me.  
Did i also mention dat he'ld be 32 tis yr while i'm stil going 2 b 24?

Most of u r very rite wen u say i shldn't b washing my linen in public lik tis, but its all cos i nid 2 satisfy my conscience wen i decide 2 let go of d relationship. I knw i'ld b doin d rite tin wen i finally do so some other pple wldn't assume i'm jst being overtly pompous cos i now hv a job & all.  Wen we both wer unemployed, it wasn't beta. It only got worse now dat i do because he acts lik its his right to eat my money wit me. He's always depended on me for as long as i can rmbr.
Even wen we both didn't hv a job, he'ld take me 2 eateries & i'ld foot d bill. The only time he'ld consider footing is if d bill were less than N600 & i'm dead serious.

.

ife bi eji owuro.

joichi:

I swear i've rily had a swell time on tis thread. Pple seem 2 hv a lot 2 say but lik d sayn goes, only he who wears d shoes knws wer it pinches d most. Let me break tis gist down a bit so u can all knw wer i'm coming from:
-  we met when we wer both unemployed & fresh out of schl
-  he's never spent up to N1,000 on me at a go (not even close)
-  i do d cookn wit my money even when we wer both unemployed (his never workd as far as i knw)
-  d only time i eva askd 4 support 4 d meal, he gav me N200 reluctantly because i insisted
-  he only calls me up on my birthdays, no gifts, cards, nothn
-  he flashes me all d time & expcts me 2 call. i don't blv in flashing so i hardly do
-  we had a humongous quarrel because i had 2 insist forcefully that he embarrases me by flashing
-  when at his place, he loves it when i slave away tryn 2 put tins in place by workn my butt out
-  he encourages me 2 buy tins 4 his relations weneva we go visitn even though he never contributes a kobo
-  weneva he goes 2 luk 4 somtin 2 do, he calls me up & tells me how he's tryn so damned hard 2 get a job
-  afta wic he asks me 2 send him crdt as a way of supportn him

i'm not sayn i'm perfect either, but lik i said earlier on, i jst wnt som1 i can grow up wit, not som1 2 pull me bak.
if i go into more details about d absurdity in d name of a rtnship, all d yaps i've gotten from guys on tis thread would only worsen.

"I mean the much interest he shows on things concerning you.
2. Are his vision and goals what you want in your kind of man?
3. Are you comfortable with his features? By his features i mean the way he talks, the kind of friends he hangs out with, his size, looks, intelligence, etc.
"

as 4 these qqs by " wariowei "
yes to the 1st qq. He shows alot of interest & support in all i do & even encourages he 2 achieve more, but he doesn't have as much drive as i do. he seems content wit what he is able 2 accomplish at every point.
As 4 qqs 2 & 3, hmmmm, sori 2 say but NO on both counts.
Even though i knw most people would insult me d more 4 my responses, i rily don't care because its d simple truth. I'm in a dilemna here because i thot i had found a ril man who can help me acccomlish my purpose in life. Also, he came at a time when i was despirate and very lonely so in a way, he filled a void in me.  
Did i also mention that he'ld be 32 tis yr while i'm stil going 2 b 24?

Most of u r very rite when u say i shldn't b washing my linen in public lik tis, but its all because i nid 2 satisfy my conscience when i decide 2 let go of d relationship. I knw i'ld b doin d rite tin when i finally do so some other people wldn't assume i'm jst being overtly pompous because i now hv a job & all.  Wen we both wer unemployed, it wasn't beta. It only got worse now that i do because he acts lik its his right to eat my money wit me. He's always depended on me for as long as i can rmbr.
Even when we both didn't hv a job, he'ld take me 2 eateries & i'ld foot d bill. The only time he'ld consider footing is if d bill were less than N600 & i'm dead serious.

gosh and sammilla is busy giving out his usual stupid advises,telling u to continue in d relationship

@poster

forget d sex,u might meet smone better off,leave that relationship,u have ur parents and siblings to take care of

d guy is not worth it,what is sex,they r so many men good in d acrobatic dance and still have peace to offer

this guy is just giving u sex,but no peace of mind,wats d need of being in a relationship that keeps me under too mcuh stress,like not giving me d peace i require?

i think u kniow what to do now post if u say ur folks r not even comfortable with the guy
then move on,

u can either withdraw the dough as some r advocating or just tell him u guys need to be on a break for now and that lets see hw things do on from there, these(the two) may afford u the chance to really know the guy 4 who he is,


sorry u need to make ur own mind as the emotional ties btw two of u is strong and any advice given here may be useless as u may still go bk to him

But very important, [b]act like u treated him wit some respec[/b]t as u know hw egotistic guys can be when their all fragile ego is bruised,

all the best in ur decisions,

What gives you the assurance that once this guy gets a good job, you will even be in the picture?
A guy can lean on his woman for while but underneath the help is a burning desire to play the role of a man who wants to provide and help do things at home. I once had a friend who lost his job and was the home was being run by his wife. He become a hustler, willing to do just about anything to take something home at the end of the day until he got another job. That is a man.

The man in question is a boy-a grown boy-not a man.

You are doing a lot of damage to yourself by staying in the relationship out of emotional guilt. First stop going to their house and begin to get out of this 'our wife' mentality that young women enslave themselves into. Biblically, a man is said to be worst than an infidel when he can not provide for his own household. He does not show any remorse when he collects from you now and he will not stop when he evn gets a job.

One of my sisters ended up with someone who showed the same trait as your man. Today, she is the one carrying the burden of the family with help from her siblings. Beware!

Joichi, I think the main issue here is not your BF but you. At your age, what exactly are you looking for in a relationship? Good sex from a Gigolo or a man for a husband? If the former is the case, then, as someone said earlier, you are simply being a sugar mama but if the later is the case, then what should be the main issue is if you love him enough to want to spend the rest of your life with him and what his thinking in the line is.

For the issue of depending on you, he may just be one of those who believe in exploiting people or someone who grew up in an environment where such dependence is seen as normal. I dont know if you have done that before, but why dont you discuss your worries with him and insist that you will only fund his job hunting expenses. No feeding, no clothing, and certainly no family spending. There is always something to do to earn income, no matter how meagre but there is.

All this will only count however, if you have made up your mind on marrying him otherwise, sit him down and let him know that you are on the marriage gear now and need to take a walk. If you handle it well, you dont need to bother about what people will say. They are already talking (and laughing at you) anyway.

God bless you

This girl is on a roll.

yeye girl. You were both out of school and unemployed and he is 31?

Chai which kain tales by moonie light u dey giff us hia

-  we met when we wer both unemployed & fresh out of schl
-  he's never spent up to N1,000 on me at a go (not even close)
-  i do d cookn wit my money even when we wer both unemployed (his never workd as far as i knw)
-  d only time i eva askd 4 support 4 d meal, he gav me N200 reluctantly because i insisted
-  he only calls me up on my birthdays, no gifts, cards, nothn
-  he flashes me all d time & expcts me 2 call. i don't blv in flashing so i hardly do
-  we had a humongous quarrel because i had 2 insist forcefully that he embarrases me by flashing
-  when at his place, he loves it when i slave away tryn 2 put tins in place by workn my butt out
-  he encourages me 2 buy tins 4 his relations weneva we go visitn even though he never contributes a kobo
-  weneva he goes 2 luk 4 somtin 2 do, he calls me up & tells me how he's tryn so damned hard 2 get a job
-  afta wic he asks me 2 send him crdt as a way of supportn him

i'm not sayn i'm perfect either, but lik i said earlier on, i jst wnt som1 i can grow up wit, not som1 2 pull me bak.

With these listed by you, It proves that your mind is already made up to end the r/ship, but u want it to be justified ending it yourself, because you seem to me a kind of girl who wouldnt want to say 'GO broke ass'.

Well, I will advice that you let go, u may not be happy all your life with this guy even if he finally gets a job because I think it is his upbringing that is affecting him. Some men are very demanding from women, because they see their father live through it with their mum, so they think it is a way of life.

Politely let him know that when he is ready to become responsible, he should come for you. Then leave him and continue with your life. At age 24, you are still young- atleast if you can be patience enough you will get a good guy whom you can start life with gradually.

when i read this incredibly dumb post, i was afraid it would call for replies such as this"

and you say ladies don't have "chicken brain"

It does.

@Poster

I pity your boyfriend, you bringing him to NairaLand for judgement, and while this goes on, you pretend as if all is well and that you love him? I pity the guy. women like you are supposed to be foked for nothing, because you have no love to give anyone.

@ poster
If a guy of 31 yrs cannot sustain himself financially, then there is a lot of problem with him (a fool at 14 is a fool forever). He doesnt have to be making millions, but at least, have a means of making money. That tells me that he is very lazy,dump and not aggressive about life. To marry such a person is like planning to subject yourself to lifetime poverty.If someone is not faithful in little things, he can never be when big ones come. if he can't give you now that he has little, that means when plenty comes, he cannot give you and will not give you anything.
A guy that will totally be financially dependent on you will still continue even in marriage(that is if he won't dump you when he starts making money).
Ask youself these questions:
[list]
[li][/li]
[li][/li]
[/list]Are you sure he is not in the relationship just because of what he is getting from you?
I[list]
[li][/li]
[li][/li]
[/list]s he not eating is cake and having it( sleeping with you and still collecting your money)?
[list]
[li][/li]
[li][/li]
[/list]And to think of it, is premarital sex good?
It is high time you allowed this guy go.He is really using you and don't be stupid.I've been there before, so i'm talking from experience. He is not responsible. Move closer to God, he will bring the right guy for you.

d table has turned  n look @ all d ladies hollering _{d ones dat will tell u i'll stick by my man even if he has no money, no job etc. dont worry we know say una just dey yarn}

u said u dont love him _{or abi u still dey think}
u hv been dating him 4 2 yrs now and u dont know if he has prospects, is he educated? does he have skill? _{no be sexual 1 oo , u don confirm dat 1} is he making any kinda effort to change or improve his situation?
u also said u believe there was some sincerity in his feelings 4 u _{if i got d meaning rite}

So in my own opinion d problem is not dat u spend money on him, its d fact dat u dont love him, lost respect 4 him and resent d fact he is asking u 4 money irrespective of the fact that he might actually be asking it 4 a good reason.  Some pple r calling u names dat ur using ur heart n not ur head i differ in dat infernce cos i beleive ur using ur head and not ur heart dats y up keep calculating how much u spend, compare how much money u give to his family to how much he giv es to urs, still using him to fulfill a need, while looking out for someone to spend d rest of ur life with. still keeping him close just incase he strikes gold so dat u can revamp on all ur investment.
And finally be able to dump him in hell and still look like an angel

if ur using ur heart this thread would not have been cos u would have been filled with hope, be blinded by d fact dat he feels no remorse for asking u 4 money

@poster

u be 1 tin dey call MAGA!!

@ Germine

hey, this post may be dump and not true, but it does happen. I have seen it happen to someone i know so well, the only difference between the posters and this person is that the guy finally did get a job, though the pay wasnt as much as the girls' pay. They got married and have 2 kids now.

@tumfulu
The poster doesnt love her bf anymore, and I am sure they are no longer together again, she only just wants us to keep busy.

Are you sure thats the only Difference?

The Girl here looks like she bumped her head

The Guy seems like he dosnt have a head

Quote from IduPaul Mumu Thread,

Is people like you that don't appreciate other peoples effort. How many reseanable threads have you posted on naira land that will make you call a thread mumu thread.

My sister if you can not cope with what you are seeing now is better for you part with the relationship, but always remenber that no condition is parmanent. Even some people that are rich today may be poor tomorrow, always pray for Gods for direction in what ever you want to do.

Take care.

@ poster

You have said it all. Its only the person wearing the shoes that can tell exactly how it pinches. at 24yrs you are expected to set out your pirorities in life and work 2wards achieving those pirorities which you have laid out for your self.

Let me tell you, if you eventually end up with this guy and with God's willing, he get a well paying job, you will never respect him, irespective of how much he has made.

i would just advise you to take a work, because at this stage in your life, you need a man that has both the will and the drive, a man that can challange you in any Situation and at any time, not somebody that wild suck you dry. Life is all abt give and take.

Dont be carried away by the sex my dear. its all abt and nothing more.

I Wish you the best of Luck my dear.

Gamine:

Are you sure thats the only Difference?

The Girl here looks like she bumped her head

The Guy seems like he dosnt have a head

i totally support what uju has said, the guy is not making enough efforts as regards getting a job no matter how small, he's just a parasite wanting to reap where he did not sow, pls get rid of him, there are better guys out there

Babe wake up you getn sex 4rm him thats something 4 all your money maybe you have not realised your guy works He is a "NIGERIAN LovePeddler/GIGOLO" so pay his ass or leave and let him be

poster u just told my story too.

I am talking from experience, even after giving him from the little I have, he wil still complain. And anytime I refuse to give him, he wil get annoyed and I wil stil be the one to beg him, to resolve the quarel.

But the funniest part, this my ex uses expensive golds, where designers clothes and shoes, club almost every weekend and he cannot spend a dime for me. I do the callings always, I send him credits and wil not use it to cal me, anytime I ask him why he doesnt like to cal me, he tels me he is nt working in MTN or GLO. I really love him thats why I was taken as a fool. Anytime he visits me, he f**ked me and I wil stil pay him money for his trans - is dis not crazy. Anyway, I broke-up wit him. I discovered he doesnt love me and he his having an affair with someone else.

Poster, he doesnt love you. So stop wasting your resources on him. As per the sex thing, plssssssssssss stop it wit him, the more u hav sex wit him, the more your p****sy expands. And you might nt end up marrying him. And by the time u get the man, u want to settle with, dis p***sy widening might bring problems. Cause I assure you most men prefer tight p****sy.

Take Care.

@poster
DEcision is yours, nairalanders have tried their best. Its left 2u,

leave him, its just using ur brain and guess he his not the right person 4 uuu

well, love must be equal , if one of the two guys invovle is stingy, it is bad. i will advise you to look out for another guy that can please ur sexual urge and that is stable. but be very diplomatic in let him know that you cant proceed with the realationship. money is not everything but think about your happiness first. besides , if you dnt let the guy relealise what is going on , he may feel no bad at all that something is wrong, but apply wisdom in all your doings.

Bottom line,

IS TRUE LOVE REAL?

kemisuga:

poster u just told my story too.

I am talking from experience, even after giving him from the little I have, he wil still complain. And anytime I refuse to give him, he wil get annoyed and I wil stil be the one to beg him, to resolve the quarel.

But the funniest part, this my ex uses expensive golds, where designers clothes and shoes, club almost every weekend and he cannot spend a dime for me. I do the callings always, I send him credits and wil not use it to cal me, anytime I ask him why he doesnt like to cal me, he tels me he is nt working in MTN or GLO. I really love him thats why I was taken as a fool. Anytime he visits me, he f**ked me and I wil stil pay him money for his trans - is this not crazy. Anyway, I broke-up wit him. I discovered he doesnt love me and he his having an affair with someone else.

Poster, he doesnt love you. So stop wasting your resources on him. As per the sex thing, plssssssssssss stop it wit him, the more u hav sex wit him, the more your p****sy expands. And you might nt end up marrying him. And by the time u get the man, u want to settle with, this p***sy widening might bring problems. Cause I assure you most men prefer tight p****sy.

Take Care.

u sure got yourself the right name,
haha, f**k, P***y no dey tire u? lol
uuu too raw,


@poster

u said he neva called u except on ur birthday but in another paragraph,
u contradicted urself and said he calls wheneva he's on job hunting basically, to demand for a recharge card.
who u think say u dey dull sef wit ur rubbish thread?

LOL! u all hv made my day. u all so damned hilarious. I laughed until tears streamed down my eyes. I'm actually stil laughing. Those who feel i'm making tis story all up (wic might be true but dat wld mak me a good writer. i should actually consider selln tis tale 2 Wale Adenuga 4 a few bucks, LOL!)
Those who feel i've bumped my head (u might also have a point there )
Those who feel i tink wit mu p***y ( a point there as well considering dat i once had a BF who was horrid in d sack)
Those who r wise & calculative & tryn 2 read my mind (u r doin fair enuf, but considering u r not a confirmed mind reader, i don't tink u shld try towing dat line) LOL!
But all in all, its bin fun on tis thread.

@ kemisuga, i feel ur pain but i can assure u, mine isn't dat bad. Also, wat makes u tink a p***y can get widened?
Maybe u shldn't consider giving birth 2 a child or more. Wat wld u tink or say then & i actually cringe to tink of ur state of mind if u hv upto 6 kids or more, or more definitely, a set of twins, triplets, quaduplets??   U'ld probably NEVA get into bed wit ur hubby then.
So 4 ur own gud, redirect ur thots.

I'm seeking for advice here, not tinkn of giving some. & wer is my girl Gucci_Babe?? Sorry abt d mistaking ur gender biolabee

ud4u:

Quote from IduPaul Mumu Thread,

Is people like you that don't appreciate other peoples effort. How many reseanable threads have you posted on naira land that will make you call a thread mumu thread.

Take care.

Thnks ud4u for putting his type exactly where he belongs.
LOL!!!

Livvvvy:


The poster doesnt love her boyfriend anymore, and I am sure they are no longer together again, she only just wants us to keep busy.

@tumfulu &  Livvvvy , if u don't wnt 2 b kept busy or if u r rily busy, then wat exactly r u doin on this thread?!

@ funmi.o , u hv a good point there. I tink i wld do jst dat. Get closer to God. LOL!

dremoney are u hearing f***k and p***sy for the first time. Pls dont be a pretender

joichi - i tot am given a piece of advice, but see u ar not appreciative . Definately until i start given births till my p****sy get widening the more.

So u can go ahead with the sex and let him f***k your brain out.

@poster,
Dont ever try to dump dat guy. If u were officially married and he happens to loose his Job while u are having a good job will u leave him? My only regret is where u said he doesnt seem to be struggling hard for a job else i will say life is sometimes like dat. who is doing well today may not be doing well 2mro. And dont forget God knows whoever He will bless next.
Suggestions:
1. Its within ur powers to change dat guy.  how? Dailogue. Talk to him like a lover on the matter and be very careful here else he mite think its bc u are dropping d cash.
encourage him.
2. Let him remmber he is a man and so he should be in charge.
3. Give him a sense of him being in control and one day he will have d zeal 2 be in control even financially.
4. Continue to support him emotionally as well as motivate him to succeed.
5. Show him u love him always.
Try all these am sure a new song of joy will soon enter ur mouth.

Girls can lie.
Look at how the poster narrated the ordeal up there.
Nothing good ever came out of the guy from her own perspective, even sex.
And she is still hanging in there with HIM.

CHECK OUT THE PROFILE.

, THE BOY.

MR XX.
31 YEARS.
UNEMPLOYED.
NO MONEY.
NEVER CALL, ONLY FLASHES.
NEVER SPENT UP TO A THOUSAND NAIRA ON HER AT A GO.
NEVER GAVE HER BIRTHDAY GIFT , NEVER.
DEPENDS ON HER FOR ALL HIS NEEDS, ALL.
NEVER COOK, ONLY EATS.
NO HOUSE.
DONT EVEN LOVE HER.



, THE GIRL

MISS XX.
24 YEARS, PRETTY AND YOUNG.
EMPLOYED WITH FAT SALARY.
PAYS FOR THE HOUSE.
BUYS THE FOOD STUFF.
COOKS IT.
GIVES THE BOY MONEY.
WASHES HIS CLOTHES
NOT EVEN SURE SHE LOVE HIM.
,


BUNCH OF CRAP.

LIARS


I AM PRETTY SURE THAT THIS DUDE WILL PUT UP A DIFFERENT KIND OF STORY ABOUT THIS SAME ISSUE.