Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,158,548 members, 7,837,098 topics. Date: Wednesday, 22 May 2024 at 04:50 PM

My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? - Family (6) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? (29280 Views)

As A Husband, Or Wife, Who Will You Make Your Next Of Kin / Man Buys Honda SUV For Wife Who Gave Birth (pics) / Can You Attend The Marriage Of A Gay Brother Or Relative? (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by spyg1(m): 12:29pm On Jul 20, 2014
Ngokafor:



...what does 'she might even grow wings after being empolyed' mean?..smh!. some people really do not know what marriage is all about.

...@op for your friend to be confused about who to recommend for the job means he is very okay with his 60k salary a month job(*shudders*) and a jobless wife,and therefore has no further need for money even when he has children.In that case, go ahead and advise him to recommend his brother.
reading your comment I knw dat you are a woman, a selfish one.
Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by wayne4loan: 12:29pm On Jul 20, 2014
koastar: Good day all, pls I need your advice on this issue.

A friend asked me this and I don't know what to tell him. According to him he was asked to present someone that read chemical engineering in an oil company by a close friend of his who works there.

My friend is an accountant and presently earns 60k per month where he works. He has a wife who is not working and a kid.

His wife is a chemical engineer by training and his only brother is also unemployed who read chemical engineering as well. His brother has been living with them for 2yrs now after his NYSC without job. My friend and his brother lost their parents while they were still very young and they are the only children of their parents.

My friend is now confused who to present to his friend for the job, his wife or brother. Your advice pls.

The salary for the oil job is 600k per month excluding allowances.
lola and engees okoye
Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by tochimajesty: 12:30pm On Jul 20, 2014
You guys make me laugh, don't tempt a women with money unless u want to c d hidden characters because of d fact she is not d breadwinner. D moment she got d job, highest one year now divorce straight then another man go mary her with d 600k, then your eyes go open. Go ask my uncle he will explain better how it happened to him. I take brother cos blood s thicker than a woman's love

1 Like

Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by wayne4loan: 12:30pm On Jul 20, 2014
Blood is thicker than water
Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by spyg1(m): 12:35pm On Jul 20, 2014
snazzylove: Which brother? Mtcheewww! He better present his wife. Because she's the only one that can guarantee the absolute care and training of the kids wen d man is no longer there or when things gets very tough. Let his brother go out and hunt for a job or better still wait for another opportunity.
ah! Women! Do you know how they use to help each other when they were young?
Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by Muhy479(m): 12:37pm On Jul 20, 2014
[quote author=koastar]Good day all, pls I need your advice on this issue.

A friend asked me this and I don't know what to tell him. According to him he was asked to present someone that read chemical engineering in an oil company by a close friend of his who works there.

My friend is an accountant and presently earns 60k per month where he works. He has a wife who is not working and a kid.

His wife is a chemical engineer by training and his only brother is also unemployed who read chemical engineering as well. His brother has been living with them for 2yrs now after his NYSC without job. My friend and his brother lost their parents while they were still very young and they are the only children of their parents.

My friend is now confused who to present to his friend for the job, his wife or brother. Your advice pls.

The salary for the oil job is 600k per month excluding allowances.
[/quote
He is in a better position to handle this, giving his wife the slot will only multiply his immediate family fortunes only if the wife will not upgrade in the nearest future. In my own opinion, he should consider his brother for the job. That will give him a sense of fulfilment. Just an opinion sha sad[quote author=koastar]Good day all, pls I need your advice on this issue.

A friend asked me this and I don't know what to tell him. According to him he was asked to present someone that read chemical engineering in an oil company by a close friend of his who works there.

My friend is an accountant and presently earns 60k per month where he works. He has a wife who is not working and a kid.

His wife is a chemical engineer by training and his only brother is also unemployed who read chemical engineering as well. His brother has been living with them for 2yrs now after his NYSC without job. My friend and his brother lost their parents while they were still very young and they are the only children of their parents.

My friend is now confused who to present to his friend for the job, his wife or brother. Your advice pls.

The salary for the oil job is 600k per month excluding allowances.
[/quote
He is in a better position to handle this, giving his wife the slot will only multiply his immediate family fortunes only if the wife will not upgrade in the nearest future. In my own opinion, he should consider his brother for the job. That will give him a sense of fulfilment. Just an opinion sha
Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by spyg1(m): 12:43pm On Jul 20, 2014
afrobaby: You people will not kill me on nairaland, His brother my foot. What can 60k take care of, oh, I see, when the brother gets the job, he will give the salary to him abi? Abeg, make I hear word jare, whether the wife earns higher than you or not, if she wants to be rude, she will be, gbam.

A woman that has been taking care of his brother for 2 years, and now he wants to betray her. Lest I forget, a certain age will come when a woman especially with kids wll not be able to secure a trainee job again, abeg, let him pick his wife. I don't know what some people take marriages for. Marriage is worse when the funds in the home is too little, I wonder how they are even coping with 60k in the first place.

Oh, oh, oh, I trust my Michael, speedily without a thought, na him go even edit and submit my CV. Afterall,the money is still coming into his immediate Family. Afterall, eni ti o ni eru lo ni eru.

The brother na guy, opportunities will still come, at least he doesn't have a family to take care of now.
women! women!! Do you know whether if it is his brother that pay his skul fees?. If his wife starts collecting the 600k now, he might not even qualify to near her bed sef.
Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by Rockmyworld(m): 12:45pm On Jul 20, 2014
standd: This post is an eye opener. If the case were reversed and the wife is to choose between her husband and her brother- Everyone would expect her to choose her husband without asking. WHY?
It is really a man's world. Women should wake up and smell the coffee..

*****
This is just like asking a man whose wife and brother both suffer from kidney disease to donate his kidney to his brother. Apparently, people still have a lot to learn about marriage.

*****
Do not MARRY someone you can't make sacrifices for! I believe that people marry to become 1. But comments on this thread have shown me that most people CAN NOT draw the line between their duties to their family (spouse and children) and their obligations to their relatives. #Shioooor
So much for getting married.

******


God bless you brother for this wonderful piece. this is what have been preaching. some men can be very funny, if the woman was to make a pick between her husband and her own brother she won't think twice before picking the husband and nobody will question her decision. but why is reverse not the case.? I wonder why will any man marry a woman he never trust but expect the wife to love and trust her. your family (wife and children) should baby Ur top most priority in any decision one make.
thanks bro truly many don't know what marriage entails.
I can never pick my brother over my wife never. except maybe she insist I give it to my brother before I'll.

2 Likes

Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by lilmax(m): 12:47pm On Jul 20, 2014
As usual gringrin nairaland women put themselves in the position of the wife to judge
Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by emiye(m): 12:50pm On Jul 20, 2014
Maonyz:


When people ask questions, it becomes clearer to me that people don't know the real meaning of marriage. People don't know how intent and high what exists between hubby and wife is.

If that friend who is confused is a chemical engineer and doesn't have a job, who will he present between himself and his brother? Himself? Or his brother?

If the answer is his brother, that means he loves his brother more than himself and should go ahead and present his brother even in this scenario but if his answer is himself, then why ask this question? What's the difference between him and his wife?

In everything a man does in life, his wife(not girlfriend, not mother, not children) comes first and same goes for women too. If people understand this. Making choices will be easier. Your wife is you and you are your wife. If you want the best for you, it means you want the best for your wife. If the choice is between you and your wife, then sacrifice for her( the bible likens your relationship with her to that of Jesus Christ and us, the church)

Again, you are doing a job of 60k? don't you think your wife needs that 600k job for you people to have a better life(please don't even mention that she will not respect you again if she earns more than you cus that's the thoughts of myopic, mediocre and inferior men)? Am sure your wife has been managing with you because 60k is small for a family man in the world today!

If your brother is the one in your shoes will he pick you or pick his wife? If after you give the job to your brother and you lose yours by chance, will your brother surely carter for your home? Will your wife ever forgive you?

Oga, please, without thinking twice, give your wife the job, let your brother understand politely that between him and your wife, the choice has been made by God Himself. Another opportunity will come for him. Thank you!


Note: you may politely talk to your wife and see if she agrees so you guys will save sth out of her salary over time to set your brother up. This isn't a condition. Pamper her to agree. Any good woman will accept to help her brother-in-law.


Your write up is the ideal thing, but unfortunately we live in a real world not an ideal world.

There is always a greater chance of a backstab from a wife (less than 10 yrs old marriage) than a blood brother he has known all his life. Divorces, separation, are becoming more prevalent in the society.

Many or most Nigerian ladies based in Nigeria find it difficult to take that mental shift that it is not a big deal if u are earning way more than your husband (supposed breadwinner) like in this case 10 times more, they misbehave in a short space of time, likewise for men, they also tend to feel threatened and suspicious of their wife., it gets worse if the wife rubs it on his face . Jobs of such nature also tend to put strain on the wife performing the supposed wifely duties.


The decision could be easier if it was between the man's sister and wife. The unemployed brother is a man still living a dependent life on the couple, and living in their home. he needs to leave the couple's home . I believe the brothers should simply agree on a sharing formula for at least 12 months. 200k every month to help the wife start a business. In a year, that is 2.4 million naira.
Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by Solodegreat24(m): 12:51pm On Jul 20, 2014
Your wife is part of u. Firstly discus it with her without letting ur brother knw abt it. If she wants it den let her hav it (without sentiment or pride dat she Will stop listening to you once she start earning more than you, i believe you trust her before marrying her. Her money is your money) secondly, there shud be an agreement between you both dat part of the money in her first few months would be given to your brother to start up somtin for himself and also to rent an apartment of his own before he gets his dream job. Who knows maybe later on his wife can even link him up in the Same company. Its easier for women

2 Likes

Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by lilmax(m): 12:53pm On Jul 20, 2014
Well in my opinion the job should be given to the woman,60k is not enough for a family.when the woman makes about 3months salary then the husband should set a buisness for the brother,forget all this small small boys saying the job should be given to the brother

1 Like

Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by spyg1(m): 12:55pm On Jul 20, 2014
@ OP, this is my story.
There was a man in my state that gave his wife commissioner, cos he did not hav the qualification to become commissioner, d governor wanted to reward him cos of what he did to him during their secondary school days. Do you know that, this woman was expecting visitors in the house and the husband was not aware of it and the man went and sat in parlor, when the women came into the parlor and met this man sitting inside, she started insulting the man, that she is expecting important visitors and what is he doing in the parlor. What an insult.

4 Likes

Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by hassymo5(m): 12:56pm On Jul 20, 2014
His brother for now cos d man is jobless and cant b relying on himall his life,,,, atlease his wife is on him he can feed her cloth her for now .....that young man need something now to move on wit life ......but i know women may b she nagging about giving his brother d job after several atempt to convince her ,,,if this guy give his brother d job without d wife agreeing,,oboy that house go b in dilemma...from my persperstic his brother should have d job ,,I will do same if I am in his shoe...
Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by poiZon: 1:03pm On Jul 20, 2014
Ngokafor:



...what does 'she might even grow wings after being empolyed' mean?..smh!. some people really do not know what marriage is all about.

...@op for your friend to be confused about who to recommend for the job means he is very okay with his 60k salary a month job(*shudders*) and a jobless wife,and therefore has no further need for money even when he has children.In that case, go ahead and advise him to recommend his brother.





bro sorry for quoting u, but lemme tell u a good wife will recommend te job to go to d brother inlaw. a good wife thinks with her head but a bad wife will surely want to get the job n befor u knw her level go change. hv u seen d salary diffrnce bro? we r talkng of 540k, not good for a starter unless she is just a girlfrnd not wife. my opinion though.
Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by Nobody: 1:06pm On Jul 20, 2014
I won't even think twice giving it to my wife, know the kind of woman you marry and with this u wil not be scared of het changing and even if she changes, do it cos of ur kids so that they can have a bettet life. Ur brother can always depend on you till another opportunity arises even brothers deny their brothers self.

2 Likes

Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by charlsecy(m): 1:08pm On Jul 20, 2014
AdeniyiA: it's not advisable for a couple to work in the same office.
Re-read the post.

1 Like

Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by IRIENBOY(m): 1:10pm On Jul 20, 2014
I agree with you,but if the is a selfish type?
lilmax: Well in my opinion the job should be given to the woman,60k is not enough for a family.when the woman makes about 3months salary then the husband should set a buisness for the brother,forget all this small small boys saying the job should be given to the brother
Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by ITbomb(m): 1:10pm On Jul 20, 2014
First instinct said brother but after going through these pages, the WIFE is the wisest decision.

Reason : With that salary and position, it would lift a big burden on him and the wife will be in a good position to secure another job for the brother.

Investing on the wife is investing in your children, but remember that the brother must as well be setup.

In my experience in workplace, the wife as a female is more likely to fix in the guy if she goes in first and willing to than the guy. Not for being unfaithful but male are more prone to impress a female colleague than a male one.

However, if the marriage is relatively young, personally, I would give to my bro but agree on a percentage for at least a year and look out for opportunities for the wife.
Because the job might means taking much time of your wife and your family might suffer for it especially A YOUNG MARRIAGE.
Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by IRIENBOY(m): 1:12pm On Jul 20, 2014
I agree with you,but if the woman is a selfish type? What happen then.
lilmax: Well in my opinion the job should be given to the woman,60k is not enough for a family.when the woman makes about 3months salary then the husband should set a buisness for the brother,forget all this small small boys saying the job should be given to the brother
Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by dckng16(m): 1:15pm On Jul 20, 2014
GO FOR BROTHER BRO, FROM THE OPINIONS SO FAR.
Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by arocheezy(m): 1:18pm On Jul 20, 2014
The wife

2 Likes

Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by Ay92(m): 1:19pm On Jul 20, 2014
I always have a misunderstanding with my brother but we also always find a way to resolve it. My ex on the other hand used to swear and promise me always that we'll be together forever, but look at where we are today. Everything I did for her and all that my family ( including this my brother ) has done for her is wasted.

The summary of my story up there is that the wife could divorce the man anytime, especially when she becomes employed, but no matter how many times brothers fight, they'll still come back together because blood is thicker than water.

As for me, I'll pick my brother anytime any day.

3 Likes

Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by Nobody: 1:21pm On Jul 20, 2014
[size=32pt]His wife ofcos[/size]..As for those of u sayin his wife wil grow wings..wat abt his brother?..when he starts earning the salary,is he going to use it to cater for his brother's family?...unless his comfortable with his 60k salary..seems he doesn't care about the future of his kids n family?..He's not even suposd to ask dis question cos the woman wudnt ask this if she were to be in his shoes...Learn from Peter Okoye(if u dnt undstd,read his tweet)

2 Likes

Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by Amadaz(m): 1:21pm On Jul 20, 2014
No matter the love I have for my wife, I place my bro above it. For christ sake this is my direct blood, the person I grew up with under same roof, share the same history, share the same parents... Na my bro joor
Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by Amadaz(m): 1:24pm On Jul 20, 2014
Ay92: I always have a misunderstanding with my brother but we also always find a way to resolve it. My ex on the other hand used to swear and promise me always that we'll be together forever, but look at where we are today. Everything I did for her and all that my family ( including this my brother ) has done for her is wasted.

The summary of my story up there is that the wife could divorce the man anytime, especially when she becomes employed, but no matter how many times brothers fight, they'll still come back together because blood is thicker than water.you've said it all. Bro is blood

As for me, I'll pick my brother anytime any day.
Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by Nobody: 1:26pm On Jul 20, 2014
He should pick his bro....He nids to be on his own nw, For hw long will he live off his bro who already has a family
Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by EmmyDe25(m): 1:34pm On Jul 20, 2014
The story looks more like an adaptation from a movie. Its a pure figment!
Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by hushmail: 1:40pm On Jul 20, 2014
op u ve heard it all
advise ur pal accordingly
may d job go to his family membr
Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by tracyfemmmm: 1:42pm On Jul 20, 2014
Let me just say that since most of the advisers are saying the man should give the brother then we can use the same logic to say that if a women has a jobless husband she should give the her brother or sister the job. kiss

1 Like

Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by jack26(m): 1:45pm On Jul 20, 2014
Na his brother.Do not take the loyalty of ur wife or a friend to forsake the bond of blood-NICOLO MACHAVELLIE
Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by alphaomega(m): 1:45pm On Jul 20, 2014
Oro na so s'enu, o tu b'uyo si......D matter mess 4 person mouth, com add salt 2 am.

U av a wife n kid. U also av a brotha who stays wt u (4 now).

Bro, ur family is ur immediate wife n kid oh.

Shld ur bro gt d 600k job, he will later pack out n live his own life...he wil get married in time. And wn woman enta d film 4ur brotha house, am so freaking sure she won't wan2 knw d source of d husband's wealth oh.

Thus, ur brotha will be better off at d end of d day...

Wat wl now happen to u n ur home?

Think am well bro...
Think am wella.

1 Like

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (Reply)

How To File For A Divorce In Nigeria / How I Helped My Sister With Food Items And Accessories To Take To Canada / What Is My Duty As A Married Woman? Help!

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 83
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.