Shadeolad: I feel u sis. And u seem helpless not knowing what to do. I think u should have addressed the issue straight. Will u even be urself knowing he's with someone else all weekend. Men! I salute ur patience o. The kind of person I am will not even think twice before confronting him with d evidence(snooping or no snooping). His own offense is worse than the snooping now. But I realise that most men are unapologetic when caught rather they try to paint u as the real devil. I feel for us women. Its really a helpless situation ,except u have the heart take a drastic approach like confronting him or even threats of divorce. If na me he will not make that trip o or we go together since he said na work,because I would have died 100 times before he comes back,knowing he's shackled up with anoda woman.

cancerlib: For some days now,hubby and i have bn draggn d issue of a lady that he calls 'just friend'. Instinct told me they r more dn dt so i couldnt rest.
His phone is passworded and he wouldnt gv me his code, said cos i always read meanings to every chat he has wt ladies,i didnt drag d issue then, i gave him d trust dt he wouldnt betray me.
But unfortunately for him now
, i know his pswd and wen i get uncomfortable wt d lady in question, i went thru his phone. I was right,they r more dn friends, infact theyve planned a rendevous for ds weekend. He ws goin on a journey which he could go on sunday but he insisted hes going on saturday .
I screengrabbed thr chats,sent it to my phone so he cant deny it.
Now how do i play ds out? Wat if he blame me for snooping on his phone, am i d bad guy here?
Guys pls to d rescue, how do i handle d situatn so i can cm out d champion

MARKone:

I would advise you immediately to confront him(not aggressively) with whatever evidence you have before he leaves. If he has conscience, he would probably have a rethink. If you have the other woman's number, call her up to leave your husband alone.I would not advice you to go there to confront two of them. In the fit of anger, anything can happen. Don't forget to always insist on protection during S€¤

cancerlib:
I have d girls contact but i cnt call her. Shes a student and shes aware hes married, y shd i belittle mysef

mikeywise:
Does your husband know you have her number? why not let some else do the calling?

cancerlib:
He works on satdays so hes travelln from work. And sincerely, do i have any business with d girl?

chaircover: Personally I dont subscribe to sleeping with fire on the roof and it seems like many of us women are desensitised to thos cheating thing.

He is travelling, you found a SMS clearly showing that he is going to see another woman, and you happily pack his bag and he is on his way. What if he gets there and doesnt use protection and this is the one liason that will bring back HIV and other STD's back home to you?

He is your husband for Gods sake and you have a right to talk to him and take action. He is the one who did wrong but you are the one walking on egg shells.

I dont blame you, cos many of us no longer know right from wrong anymore. Many women go into marriage thinking its the norm for mem to cheat (we say so long as he comes home and he carrys out his financial responsibilities) and many men go into marriage with a thousand and one reasons why they have the right to cheat. The children are watching and think its oK and the cycle continues in their own marriages too.

As for "snooping" . . if you give me a reason to doubt your sincerity or your ways become crooked, then yes Snoop, so you know what you are up against. Dont be a victim of Last minute.com and be treating infertility from STD's or even put your life at risk from STD's just because you dont want to offend someone who doesnt mind offending you.

I know that you are pregnant and so I am not saying battle it out with him or stress yourself, but I dont really know why you cant discuss it with him BEFORE he goes off and dont really see the point of waiting to discuss it AFTER the deed has been done. If you cant discuss this, then what exactly are important discussions?

cancerlib:
I suppose he does

MizzD: The hypocrisy on this thread is alarming. Who are the people asking her to win the heart of a 'cheating' insensitive hubby back? Asking her to pack condoms and all sorts of nonsense. Who leaves his pregnant wife home to go and have fun (whether or not sexx is involved) with another lady when he should be home pampering his wife and mother of his unborn baby?

Op already said she's pregnant and trying not to work herself up and I understand where she's coming from. It is a sensible thing to do. Your health and that of your baby is your priority. I personally believe you should have addressed the issue before he travelled. What if this weekend sex leads to pregnancy with the other lady, what if it is this same sexx that will bring sexual diseases to your house? What if it is this same sexx that will keep him hooked and longing for more?

You are not a kid and I believe you know what you saw. if you insist the content of the message was explicit, then you should have confronted your husband before the trip.

I don't like doing this, but the tone of comments would have been different if a guy read such chats about his wife.

If its not too much to ask for, tell your husband you want to see him urgently before he makes that trip and tell him exactly what you read and how hurtful it is. Ask him if he would tolerate such if situations were reversed. Don't let him blackmail you by asking you why you were snooping, that doesn't matter anymore. What he should address is the content of the message. Be firm, straightforward with your approach. No unnecessary emotions like begging or crying. If he is a good husband who genuinely loves and respects his wife but just got distracted, he will apologise and retrace his steps, if he doesn't, then you know exactly who you married and see if you can cope or how you can handle one-a cheating husband.

If he makes that trip without you addressing this issue madam, you are on your own.

mikeywise:
then there is no need calling her. try and involve in an activity that will help get your mind off the issue, the mistake u made was not confronting him before he left this morning.
it is easier to uproot a tree at an early stage than trying to uproot it when it has grown to full maturity.
The earlier you confront him, the better for your family.

Chillisauce: You knew he was like this, you married him.
He told you not to snoop on his phone, you went ahead and did just that.

The problem is all from you.
You have a problem and not your husband.


Heck who even laughs when she has a proof that her husband was gonna cheat
You probably married him because of the financial benefit and all the package that comes with it.
Your cross .

cancerlib:
Its nt too late, he dsnt leave d office till 6-7hrs time, il forward d chat to his phone.

chaircover: Personally I dont subscribe to sleeping with fire on the roof and it seems like many of us women are desensitised to this cheating thing.

He is travelling, you found a SMS clearly showing that he is going to see another woman, and you happily pack his bag and he is on his way. What if he gets there and doesnt use protection and this is the one liason that will bring back HIV and other STD's back home to you?

He is your husband for Gods sake and you have a right to talk to him and take action. He is the one who did wrong but you are the one walking on egg shells.

I dont blame you, cos many of us no longer know right from wrong anymore. Many women go into marriage thinking its the norm for mem to cheat (we say so long as he comes home and he carrys out his financial responsibilities) and many men go into marriage with a thousand and one reasons why they have the right to cheat. The children are watching and think its oK and the cycle continues in their own marriages too.

As for "snooping" . . if you give me a reason to doubt your sincerity or your ways become crooked, then yes Snoop, so you know what you are up against. Dont be a victim of Last minute.com and be treating infertility from STD's or even put your life at risk from STD's just because you dont want to offend someone who doesnt mind offending you. What about the feelings of emotional betrayal? or doesnt that count either?

I know that you are pregnant and so I am not saying battle it out with him or stress yourself, but I dont really know why you cant discuss it with him BEFORE he goes off and dont really see the point of waiting to discuss it AFTER the deed has been done. If you cant discuss this, then what exactly are important discussions between the 2 of you?

cancerlib:
Its nt too late, he dsnt leave d office till 6-7hrs time, il forward d chat to his phone.

cancerlib:


Ill just try these, on one side cn he shift d blame on me for snoopn? So i cn be prepared.
And tx for ur replies

cancerlib:
Hes planning to sleep wt his friend? I knw wat i saw, am nt sm paranoid....

Sophyrocks: The hypocrisy in this thread is Disgusting!! Only MizzD and Chaircover are speaking my thoughts. Married Women, the fear of Ebola and HIV is the begining of Wisdom.

Chillisauce: You knew he was like this, you married him.
He told you not to snoop on his phone, you went ahead and did just that.

The problem is all from you.
You have a problem and not your husband.


Heck who even laughs when she has a proof that her husband was gonna cheat
You probably married him because of the financial benefit and all the package that comes with it.
Your cross .

Icherishu:
Haba Chillisauce. I expected more from you than this. She is married to him now and lets move forward for a solution and not blame culture. So will she have done when she suspected everything? Fold her arms and look elsewhere till the man brings the said "friend" home or sleep with her as he is planning to do? Common be pathetic a bit, she is heavy and need our support in this place not to make it worst. Moreover you talk as if you know the Op. Even women that married poor men gets to be cheated on when the man finally gets to be financially independent. So please dear be nice.

cococandy: Don't feel guilty about snooping. If he saw you planning a rendevous with another guy,him snooping on your phone would be a no issue at the moment.
If you let him see that you feel guilty about snooping,he'll cash in on that and squeeze hard. Infact you may end up begging him when he's the one who should be running helter skelter looking for how to appease you.

MizzD:

Madam, don't forward the chat to his phone. That will give room for wuruwuru and you will not get to the root of the matter. You need a face-to-face communication to watch his body language, maintain eye contacts and express yourselves clearly without misconception from both sides. Tell your hubby he needs to come home after work before the trip, let him know its urgent and can't wait.

Ps -i have a deep feeling that you are scared of your hubby. And except you are exaggerating the content of the chats, I see no reason why you should not approach, confront and seek explanation from him.

ideology:
Seriously, you have to stop him, if he gets infected, you will be affected,.
Send him the screen shot, he can only get annoyed, he won't deny.
You are his wife, save your marriage pls, apply wisdom, don't shout at him, if possible plead with him not to destroy the marriage

But Why would a man disrespect his wife.

MizzD: The hypocrisy on this thread is alarming. Who are the people asking her to win the heart of a 'cheating' insensitive hubby back? Asking her to pack condoms and all sorts of nonsense. Who leaves his pregnant wife home to go and have fun (whether or not sexx is involved) with another lady when he should be home pampering his wife and mother of his unborn baby?

Op already said she's pregnant and trying not to work herself up and I understand where she's coming from. It is a sensible thing to do. Your health and that of your baby is your priority. I personally believe you should have addressed the issue before he travelled. What if this weekend sex leads to pregnancy with the other lady, what if it is this same sexx that will bring sexual diseases to your house? What if it is this same sexx that will keep him hooked and longing for more?

You are not a kid and I believe you know what you saw. if you insist the content of the message was explicit, then you should have confronted your husband before the trip.

I don't like doing this, but the tone of comments would have been different if a guy read such chats about his wife.

If its not too much to ask for, tell your husband you want to see him urgently before he makes that trip and tell him exactly what you read and how hurtful it is. Ask him if he would tolerate such if situations were reversed. Don't let him blackmail you by asking you why you were snooping, that doesn't matter anymore. What he should address is the content of the message. Be firm, straightforward with your approach. No unnecessary emotions like begging or crying. If he is a good husband who genuinely loves and respects his wife but just got distracted, he will apologise and retrace his steps, if he doesn't, then you know exactly who you married and see if you can cope or how you can handle one-a cheating husband.

If he makes that trip without you addressing this issue madam, you are on your own.

chaircover: Personally I dont subscribe to sleeping with fire on the roof and it seems like many of us women are desensitised to this cheating thing.

He is travelling, you found a SMS clearly showing that he is going to see another woman, and you happily pack his bag and he is on his way. What if he gets there and doesnt use protection and this is the one liason that will bring back HIV and other STD's back home to you?

He is your husband for Gods sake and you have a right to talk to him and take action. He is the one who did wrong but you are the one walking on egg shells.

I dont blame you, cos many of us no longer know right from wrong anymore. Many women go into marriage thinking its the norm for mem to cheat (we say so long as he comes home and he carrys out his financial responsibilities) and many men go into marriage with a thousand and one reasons why they have the right to cheat. The children are watching and think its oK and the cycle continues in their own marriages too.

As for "snooping" . . if you give me a reason to doubt your sincerity or your ways become crooked, then yes Snoop, so you know what you are up against. Dont be a victim of Last minute.com and be treating infertility from STD's or even put your life at risk from STD's just because you dont want to offend someone who doesnt mind offending you. What about the feelings of emotional betrayal? or doesnt that count either?

I know that you are pregnant and so I am not saying battle it out with him or stress yourself, but I dont really know why you cant discuss it with him BEFORE he goes off and dont really see the point of waiting to discuss it AFTER the deed has been done. If you cant discuss this, then what exactly are important discussions between the 2 of you?