Nice 1

°

I like that list!!! Great Job OP!!!! and its seriously for the ladies who really want to settle down in life.

However, I have my 2 kids, they have their father, and I'm very happy single. I went through a couple of bumps these past few years, but if you think about it, the only reason women are "supposed" to want to settle down is to have kids. So, if that's you, and you want to conform to what society tells you is good, then go ahead sha!!! I am always happy whenever I see my gfs get engaged, married, have kids, etc. We push each other to be successful financially, and I personally love the freedom that being single affords. I can purchase anything without having to consider another person, I can go wherever I want to go. I can decorate my house, choose my church, choose my food, everything according to my tastes, and not have to deal with another human being bringing headache to my life. I had my son, and then my daughter, I work in my career, starting business, home everything, why do I need a man again? And, in case of my own intimate desires pop up, which they do, I simply go and date the marvelous gentlemen in my city who aren't looking for anything too serious, they end up being great business contacts as I don't go about burning bridges!

The fact that I am making, is that it's not someone else's responsibility to make you happy. Being joyful, prayerful, full of gratitude and grace, loving at all times, showing compassion, and truly pursuing your god-given destiny are ACTIONS we must all take, no matter the social, economic or geographic situation we are in!!!!

Nice write up!

@ Op after I read all this lengthy article of urs how can I turn to a woman?? I wan turn to woman abeg.

nikkypearl:

OP, its always nice to give credit to the sources of your materials..

http://www.elitedaily.com/dating/making-it-count-10-things-every-girl-should-learn-while-single/644502/

Girly stuffs I suppose.

Interesting. But I hope you know not every single woman spends her time thinking of the reason she is single. Some single women are single by choice just saying.

Consoling yourself. Whether you admit it or not, deep down inside you, you know there's a vacuum. That's not the kind of life you wished for but life only took its twist on you. It's cool to console yourself and move than just giving yourself high BP and feeling sorry for yourself at the same time.

vivalableue: I like that list!!! Great Job OP!!!! and its seriously for the ladies who really want to settle down in life.

However, I have my 2 kids, they have their father, and I'm very happy single. I went through a couple of bumps these past few years, but if you think about it, the only reason women are "supposed" to want to settle down is to have kids. So, if that's you, and you want to conform to what society tells you is good, then go ahead sha!!! I am always happy whenever I see my gfs get engaged, married, have kids, etc. We push each other to be successful financially, and I personally love the freedom that being single affords. I can purchase anything without having to consider another person, I can go wherever I want to go. I can decorate my house, choose my church, choose my food, everything according to my tastes, and not have to deal with another human being bringing headache to my life. I had my son, and then my daughter, I work in my career, starting business, home everything, why do I need a man again? And, in case of my own intimate desires pop up, which they do, I simply go and date the marvelous gentlemen in my city who aren't looking for anything too serious, they end up being great business contacts as I don't go about burning bridges!

The fact that I am making, is that it's not someone else's responsibility to make you happy. Being joyful, prayerful, full of gratitude and grace, loving at all times, showing compassion, and truly pursuing your god-given destiny are ACTIONS we must all take, no matter the social, economic or geographic situation we are in!!!!

jennylove7575: Exactly op.....men can't bash me, I bash men..more so I have my own pepper....Singleton
is good....

FYI the OP is married, better get your acts together.
Don't be a Singleton 'gbelepa'wo'

Hmmm,this is a very interesting write up,very encouraging too

awesome share. thanks

Op as a fashion designer,I believe you should be able to differenciate between 'Waist' and 'Waste'....
Nice write up by the way.

onstelly: Nice one, I have always believe so much in making my own money

not believing alone make the money ur believe no concern us.

peppyluv02: Op as a fashion designer,I believe you should be able to differenciate between 'Waist' and 'Waste'....
Nice write up by the way.

Thank you ma!but u sud knw itz a typo error!and I am not into designing no more!I am an Architect!


Wait oo!y are the guys vexing ?
Guess the thread hit them kinda!!

*runs outa thread*

AdeniyiA:
FYI the OP is married, better get your acts together.
Don't be a Singleton 'gbelepa'wo'

Elder AdeniyiA..advice noted...looking for husband activated..

Lordlexyy: Hope u don't soak the pillow wet at night? Op nice one at no 6 applicable to both genders.

how do people soak pillow wet at night ? Make me understand.

jennylove7575: Elder AdeniyiA..advice noted...looking for husband activated..

Jenny jenny!u av rlly changed oo!on a normal good day!u will have cuss the guy big time!
I smell something

nikkypearl:

Jenny jenny!u av rlly changed oo!on a normal good day!u will have cuss the guy big time!
I smell something

I woke up on the right side of the bed today..it is his lucky day...I have taken note of him, he will fall into my trap another day..no be nl? For that thing he called me, I've given him a carry over... he must hear from me soon.

jennylove7575: how do people soak pillow wet at night ? Make me understand.

Jenny, Just craving for your attention. By the way, i take seriously ladies who make their own money. Would be fun knowing you. What do u think?

jennylove7575: Elder AdeniyiA..advice noted...looking for husband activated..

OK, we can secretly nd in 'cameraly' discuss that

vivalableue: I like that list!!! Great Job OP!!!! and its seriously for the ladies who really want to settle down in life.

However, I have my 2 kids, they have their father, and I'm very happy single. I went through a couple of bumps these past few years, but if you think about it, the only reason women are "supposed" to want to settle down is to have kids. So, if that's you, and you want to conform to what society tells you is good, then go ahead sha!!! I am always happy whenever I see my gfs get engaged, married, have kids, etc. We push each other to be successful financially, and I personally love the freedom that being single affords. I can purchase anything without having to consider another person, I can go wherever I want to go. I can decorate my house, choose my church, choose my food, everything according to my tastes, and not have to deal with another human being bringing headache to my life. I had my son, and then my daughter, I work in my career, starting business, home everything, why do I need a man again? And, in case of my own intimate desires pop up, which they do, I simply go and date the marvelous gentlemen in my city who aren't looking for anything too serious, they end up being great business contacts as I don't go about burning bridges!

The fact that I am making, is that it's not someone else's responsibility to make you happy. Being joyful, prayerful, full of gratitude and grace, loving at all times, showing compassion, and truly pursuing your god-given destiny are ACTIONS we must all take, no matter the social, economic or geographic situation we are in!!!!

Do you really have to bring God into your whoreful sex escapades? You will do well to keep your frustrated and prostituting life to yourself without polluting others. Who is interested in what you do and how it makes u happy? You abandone your kids for some carnal life and you have no self respect but to vent it here. This is Africa and this is allien to us. Disgusting. Shio.

nikkypearl:

Jenny jenny!u av rlly changed oo!on a normal good day!u will have cuss the guy big time!
I smell something

you can't understand ...

Consoling myself? What does that mean?You are right, it's not the plan I had, my plan was so much worse than this. But, I was blessed to find motherhood and I went back a few steps. Or is it that I use my brain as an IT professional to develop myself into who I am now, and not go and find a man to just run my life etc. I'm sorry that I live in a place where the need to be married is the least of all ambitions a woman has. Or is it because I get along swimmingly with the kids father, who supports my ambitions as I support his? I live in a world where a failed relationship is not the end of one's life. I challenge you to accomplish what I have, in the same circumstances and you will see that I'm congratulating myself and thanking God himself for the blessed life I live.

lockupman:

Consoling yourself. Whether you admit it or not, deep down inside you, you know there's a vacuum. That's not the kind of life you wished for but life only took its twist on you. It's cool to console yourself and move than just giving yourself high BP and feeling sorry for yourself at the same time.

jorhney:




otondo

and finally u proved him right. MUMU!!!

Lordlexyy: Do you really have to bring God into your whoreful sex escapades? You will do well to keep your frustrated and prostituting life to yourself without polluting others. Who is interested in what you do and how it makes u happy? You abandone your kids for some carnal life and you have no self respect but to vent it here. This is Africa and this is allien to us. Shio.

Who said that I abandoned the kids? Who live in my house, and I feed send to school care for etc. I am an IT professional, sorry but run tings is what is popular with women in your country. I mean all I see on this forum are men complaining about women always wanting cash. I have my own money from my own legal and established consulting firm.
My kids father is actively involved in their lives, in fact we live walking distance from each other. He takes them every other weekend, and if I want to go go on a date, as a grown woman, am allowed. Who said anything about whoring around, or is it that all you know is opening legs to get your home provisions. You claim piety, but you are the first to operate in jealousy and skank ways. I am sorry that my brain can be used for constructive purposes on how to leave a legacy for my family and yours is on how to achieve full ashawo status. Am sorry that you have to go and disrespect yourself and beg men for change to feed your kids while I have a valid and respected career and all my money was earned with intelligence and respect. Am so so sorry that your parents cry about your uselessness while mine enjoy the fruits of their labor. Sorry that you are stuck in your poor man mentality and cannot understand the entrepreneur spirit that I proudly possess. One day when you're body is all finished with all the men running thru it I'll be more than happy to pick you from the gutter and show you how to start your own corner shop.

Now, excuse me as I wake up and enjoy the company of my children. At last glance, my fridge is full, my kids healthy, my home in a safe community and this company cheque I need to cash is more than your father made in his lifetime. God is Good!

vivalableue:


Who said that I abandoned the kids? Who live in my house, and I feed send to school care for etc. I am an IT professional, sorry but run tings is what is popular with women in your country. I mean all I see on this forum are men complaining about women always wanting cash. I have my own money from my own legal and established consulting firm.
My kids father is actively involved in their lives, in fact we live walking distance from each other. He takes them every other weekend, and if I want to go go on a date, as a grown woman, am allowed. Who said anything about whoring around, or is it that all you know is opening legs to get your home provisions. You claim piety, but you are the first to operate in jealousy and skank ways. I am sorry that my brain can be used for constructive purposes on how to leave a legacy for my family and yours is on how to achieve full ashawo status. Am sorry that you have to go and disrespect yourself and beg men for change to feed your kids while I have a valid and respected career and all my money was earned with intelligence and respect. Am so so sorry that your parents cry about your uselessness while mine enjoy the fruits of their labor. Sorry that you are stuck in your poor man mentality and cannot understand the entrepreneur spirit that I proudly possess. One day when you're body is all finished with all the men running thru it I'll be more than happy to pick you from the gutter and show you how to start your own corner shop.

Now, excuse me as I wake up and enjoy the company of my children. At last glance, my fridge is full, my kids healthy, my home in a safe community and this company cheque I need to cash is more than your father made in his lifetime. God is Good!

God is good and you run your mouth like a rushing tap! Baby, i'm a full grown man incase you think in your little mind that i'm a 'runs' girl like. God is good and you still hasn't fathom the respect of a single motherhood, you go about deceiving married men, collecting their money and you come here making claim you are a professional. Wake up from your day dream and get your ass working for something legitimate. My concerns are those kids with you, hope they see or hear any vices. And who the hell is talking about what babes do here? Huh, after all they are not that shameless to flaunt their sexual life on a public forum. You need to grow up and understand the God you often called. No offence. Still love u baby.

Any independent lady shud not look at my side,because spending makes me believe am in control.

Lordlexyy: God is good and you run your mouth like a rushing tap! Baby, i'm a full grown man incase you think in your little mind that i'm a 'runs' girl like. God is good and you still hasn't fathom the respect of a single motherhood, you go about deceiving married men, collecting their money and you come here making claim you are a professional. Wake up from your day dream and get your ass working for something legitimate. My concerns are those kids with you, hope they see or hear any vices. And who the hell is talking about what babes do here? Huh, after all they are not that shameless to flaunt their sexual life on a public forum. You need to grow up and understand the God you often called. No offence. Still love u baby.

A married man? What kind of foolishness is this? I have never been with a married man in my life. OK so am ignorant to your culture, let me explain mine to you. Then you can do the same. Where I live, women work, we go to school, earn a degree and find employment. We can start businesses, pm me and I'll give you a link to something called LinkedIn. You will see my profile, associates, work history etc.. Now, as for dating, I have an active social life, from going to the gym or networking in the start-up community in my city, to attending the various festivities etc. I sometimes meet vibrant, young singles like myself, who are too focused on career than to selfish and commit to a very serious relationship. It's called maturity, you took the words intimacy (I didn't say séx, rather intimacy) and misconstrued it to mean prostitution. Are you OK? How one can go from point A to Z reveals a lot about their character. I never claimed to be perfect, but for crying out loud, if financial independence in the form of ownership of a business is crude morals, then your whole generation is doomed. That I, a black woman, will be an employee to the "man", over my dead body. I teach my kids in achieving excellence and not subjection. To use their brains and not their bodies. To leave legacy and not shame. Is it that you cheat on your wife that you are so quick to mention married men...? Please, don't let the devil win, salvage your marriage as it bring you blessing. I will never condone adultery, I will never condone prostituting. You took what I said and twisted it. One of the main reason why I made my original comment, men give headache!

nikkypearl:
I personally have never believed people who claim they choose to be single.

I mean, you may come to enjoy being single and make the most out of it, but if your idea of Prince Charming shows up one day, you’re not gonna be like,

Sorry, Krall Jonathan, I’m busy treading a sea of not-so-eligible candidates right now. Please come back after I’ve had a few more meaningless one-night stands and assh*le encounters.


While being single may not necessarily be a choice, spending your time wisely as an uncommitted 20-something is.

Instead of plotting how to land a man or being envious of your friends who already have, take this time to explore some valuable lessons that every girl in her 20s should know so you’ll be ready for Mr. Krall when he finally arrives.

1. Being Happy in Your Own Company
Being alone can be hard, but it’s important to not be dependent on the company of others to be happy.

No one likes a clinger, and your future boyfriend will respect the fact that you have other interests besides him and are capable of having a good time all on your own. Read a good book, watch a new movie, pick up a hobby or go jogging.

There are plenty of things you can do all by yourself to stay entertained.

2. Mastering the Art of Self-Soothing
It’s great to have someone around to take care of you when you’re sick, hug you when you’re sad, or just listen to your problems.

For the times you don’t have that, however, you should learn to master the art of self-soothing. This is when a nice bottle of wine and a hot bubble bath comes in. It’s always good to be able to brush yourself off and keep going.

3. Being Happy for the Romantic Successes of Others
Green is not a pretty color on anyone, and the older you get, the harder it can be to be happy for the romantic successes of others when you’re still single. However, being bitter or resentful is not going to attract the kind of energy and attention you want.

Make a conscious effort to be happy for your friends who are getting married or pregnant, even if your romantic life is in the dumps. Your time will come soon enough, and you will want your friends to be happy and celebrate with you when it does.

4. Not Living in the Past
You can’t spend your single years thinking about the boyfriends you used to have or flowers you used to get on random Tuesday mornings.

That part of your life is over; the sooner you put it behind you and accept that, the sooner you’ll be ready to move on to the next stage in your life.

5. Not Idealizing Your Ex
We all have that one person who got away, and you probably think of him or her from time to time. Don’t — it’s useless. The chances of you two being legitimate soul mates are slim to none.

The chances of you perfecting an image of someone in your mind because you’re lonely and crave familiarity? Much more probable.

6. Altering Your List Might Surprise You
Being single is the perfect time to reassess what it is you really want out of a relationship. Are you looking for someone to challenge you, make you laugh or live a healthy lifestyle with you?

Be clear on what it is you’re looking for, and you might be surprised to find you’re more open to things that were previously deal breakers.

You might realize the rich doctor type you’ve been chasing after hasn’t actually worked out for you, and you want to give the struggling writer a shot, instead. Be open to trying something new and it might surprise you.

7. Recognizing the Value of Your Individualism
There’s no better time than when you’re single to develop and appreciate your own train of thought. No one likes a yes man, and you want to be the kind of girl who can think meaningfully about issues and problems without having to resort to her boyfriend for his opinion first.

8. Settling Sucks
Yes, it’s tough to be single, but even worse than being single is being in bad company. If you’re doing everything else right, you should actually be having a pretty decent time finding out more about yourself as a person, spending time with friends and family and excelling in your career.

Why would you want to ruin that by adding someone to your life who only half interests you? Don’t bother. At no point is settling ever a good idea.

9. Make your own money!I repeat make your own money!please stop letting men bash you up and down becauses they think you can't live without them (most especially nairaland guys! )
Make them realise nobody is indispensable!
I hate it when a young lady think she can only survive collecting from men!damn!!!I be like "is she dump
I graduated 7years ago,I waisted 2years looking for jobs,but low nd behold!most of the men wanted THAT THING in exchange 4jobs,then I discovered I have passion for design,I went into fashion designing,before I knw it,I was already making my own money before I eventually got my present Job on the island here in lagos!

To all my nairand ladies!please Say NO to liabilty today!I love yah all!

OP abeg no kil our ladies o. Hw many woman wil bear wit al dese rules nwadays esp pt no 9

AdeniyiA:
OK, we can secretly nd in 'cameraly' discuss that

Cameraly?! ...choi!...boiz drop these kinda "inglishes" when they wanna run shows

ichidodo: Chei! Op you can lie o..

bro, how far and where have you been?