I’m in love with this really gorgeous guy but I don’t think he’s as much in love with me as I am with him. He annoys me a lot of times especially the stands he takes on certain issues. He has met some of my siblings but I haven’t met any of his or spoken with them on the phone.

I love this guy and would like to stay faithful to him but I think he needs some kind of challenge, I need to make him feel that he’s not as much as he thinks he is, like he’s not the ultimate after all.

He ask me often who has asked me out recently and wants to know about them, I always tell him and most times, they are better financially than he his but what I really want to do now is cheat on him. Yes, I’ll like to cheat on my boyfriend, like really keep another boyfriend that he’ll know about. Someone just as gorgeous as he is, who’ll take some of my time and resources. I need him to know that he’s no t a virus in my head and I can do without him. I need him to know that I can actually walk away from him anytime without a care in the world. I mean, I need an open window so that if this by any chance does not work out, I’ll simply walk out like he doesn’t matter!

Tell me Nairlanders, would you think this will cure him of his over pomposity?

it appears your mind is already made up! All I can say is good luck!

Are u not the same person who wanted to kill yesterday

@ Gold circle,
No I haven't made up my mind just yet. This is still an opinion, I need people especially guys to tell me if there's a better way of going around this or if this idea is ingenious.

femmace:

Are u not the same person who wanted to kill yesterday

NO, that wasn't me. I haven't been here for quite a while. I don't want to kill him, I just want him to realize that I love him does not mean he should take me for granted. Like he's not the end of the world to me.

@poster,You are very stupid.You want to kill a mosquito with a gun?

Hmmm, If you ask me it is not worth it for you to cheat on him. Doing that will only result in 2 things

1. making two wrongs and that doesnt make it right
2. Hurting yourself.

If is not going to work just walk away from the relationship. my dear dont make the mistake of trying to " get even"

you might want to take a look at this post for how to measure true love in your partner,

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-188640.0.html#msg3005104

Hey it seems like you actually don't want to be with him again, but I'll like you to know this, in as much as ladies like to "test" guys , guys also like to test ladies. One irrefutable way of keeping a man that doesn't even have an atom of love for you is exceptional patience. It breaks a man. But if you want to use wat you think he is using against you to get back at him' I'm sorry it might just end up a loose situation for you. Just have a little rethink.  Good luck,

@poster

You no well

Thanks emiechat,
That sounds really good. If patience will break his pride or high headedness, I'll lay low. I do love him and sincerly want this to work. I just don't to be hurt.

@ Ugo_2u, thanks too. It's not that easy to walk away when you're not very sure of your guy especially if you love him. I'll hang aound patiently and see if this guy will get to value my love.

there is no just course to do evil. When you say you love it conqures all so dont cheat or cheat and dont love him.You dont cheat someone you love or hurt the person whom you say yopu love.
Be very sure of what you want to do.

cheating on him may hurt ur chances in the long run. . .

in ur situation u basically hav 2 choices
1. hope, fast and pray that he someday in d future realises what he is taking for granted and come to love u
2. take a gamble and walk away. nothing reminds a person of how much they need something like loosing it

personally i'd opt for the second option becos i dont hav d patience. . . its more difficult to let go of something u really love but u hav to be prepared to accept that it will never be and move on

iceland:

@poster,You are very stupid.You want to kill a mosquito with a gun?

Gamine:

@poster

You no well

I don't know why some people are just very insulting; is it not better to skip the topic if you don't like her idea.

@ poster,

Cheating is not the solution because he may never want you again; what you should do now is to ignore him and do as if you don't care or give a damn about him. He would start wondering why you suddenly change and may want to find out. I think that is a good challenge; if he don't, please move ahead, simple. But don't dirty your self because you want to challenge him.

@ mecussey,
As you can see, I ignored those posts as if they weren't even there. I needed mature minds to help me out before I make a stupid mistake or mess up my relationship and I think I'm getting some really nice ideas here. The haters to me simply don't exist.

Ignoring him works like magic, he comes on me hard, asking what the matter is or why I'm suddenly detatched so, I'm afraid I can't use that anymore. It's already been used one time too often.
As for walking away, when the relationship was still very new and I was mad at him for one reason or the other, I did try to walk away, but he asked me back and we both ended up crying on each others' arms, this happend twice. That's the fear, I'm afraid he doesn't feel that strongly again, he now knows just how involved I am with him, how totally faithful and he's simply taking it for granted.

candies:

@ mecussey,
As you can see, I ignored those posts as if they weren't even there. I needed mature minds to help me out before I make a stupid mistake or mess up my relationship and I think I'm getting some really nice ideas here. The haters to me simply don't exist.

You did not ignore the posts.They made u come back to your senses.If we had not insulted you,you would have gone ahead with your foolish plan.How can a sensible human think cheating on her patner would solve problems.You are not only stupid are daft too for having the idea at all.

Haaahaha

Such a wonderful job on Ignoring you do, yet you couldnt ignore his "over pomposity"

and you had to harp on ignoring us,,,,,,,sheesh

Go and cheat na,

rago.

Hey Candies,
There sure are better ways to handle things like this. You need to sit this guy down and talk about your fears with him. Open up your mind and be plain. Don't try to be manipulative or insinuate anything. Tell him sincerely how you feel and how he makes you hurt. That should bring him to his senses. If it doesn't, you might have to start thinking of talking a hike instead of cheating. Cheating is just dirty.

candies:

@ mecussey,


Ignoring him works like magic, he comes on me hard, asking what the matter is or why I'm suddenly detatched so, I'm afraid I can't use that anymore. It's already been used one time too often.

Really?You posted a thread today(in fact this morning) and in jst about few hours u have started ignoring him.Do u live with him?Hmmmm, Liar!Liar
This is fake,

@poster,
u better watch what you are doing. Your email address is on your profile, we all know u are living in VI, dont u think your boyfriend already knows your plans.

watch ya back!!! or else u will loose him cheaply

@ Arshy,
He doesn't come to NL and he doesn't know about this E-mail account. It's my secret account for me to unwind. It's simply for NL.
Thanks for the warning though.

candies:

@ Arshy,
He doesn't come to NL and he doesn't know about this E-mail account. It's my secret account for me to unwind. It's simply for NL.
Thanks for the warning though.

am not saying that he will come here himself, but what about those walls that have big ears and big mouth?
Anyway, its your game, be wise while playing it.

HR.hotness:

cheating on him may hurt ur chances in the long run. . .

MAY ? ? ? . .No way . .IT WILL most definitely hurt your chance with him . . .especially IF/WHEN he finds out . . .Guyz are not like girls . . .we simply can't get past a slip like that especially WHEN he loved her.

Hi Candies,

My take on this, is that, underneath your boyfriend's braggado[i]ism[/i] and pompousity, is someone who is very very unsecure and this makes him unable to trust you. The reason for this is either because you are equally good-looking or better looking than him or because you are richer than him.

It is a natural feeling to think, "I am not cheating on him, yet he is always accusing me, so I might as well cheat", but cheating is the last thing you need to be contemplating on right now.

If he is the insecure, needy and clingy "I will kill myself" type, you need to run as fast as your legs can carry you, because he needs psychological help, but if otherwise, all you need to do is communicate how much you love him and would never stray from him. It's just that you need to constantly reassure him all the time, ^{and boy is it going to become tedious after a while}, as he is already an insecure being.

Hey Busy_body,
This guy is not needy at all, neighther is he clingy. He's equally very attractive and yes, I do have more money but that is only very temporal, because he's smart, intelligent, handsome and read a very good course in school. He's also a very confident dude, it's just that he's not been lucky or not been checking the right places for the right job. But could that be an issue? Sometimes, he says he thinks he's stayed too long without a great job and he hates sharing my money except when absolutely important.

candies:

Hey Busy_body,
This guy is not needy at all, neighther is he clingy. He's equally very attractive and yes, I do have more money but that is only very temporal, because he's smart, intelligent, handsome and read a very good course in school. He's also a very confident dude, it's just that he's not been lucky or not been checking the right places for the right job. But could that be an issue? Sometimes, he says he thinks he's stayed too long without a great job and he hates sharing my money except when absolutely important.

That is the problem, and this is the reason I said the last thing he needs, is you cheating on him. Maybe clingy and needy is too strong a word to use in this instance, but he is definitely suffering from a megadose of insecurity, and has a right to be. He won't tell you but he prolly pinches himself everytime, for getting someone like you and fears he is going to lose you to someone richer than him

Like I said earlier, go and sharpen your reassurance skills, you are going to be needing it a lot, until he gets a job he deserves

@poster sorry to say you just another bitch or LovePeddler if you cheat on your boyfriend, its more like you are already cheating on him. cheating on him? Do u think u are better than him? Whats the difference between u and the street workers then? Look its better you breakup with him and ve time for another man or you remain honest and truthful to him.

Ok fine he askses you question of guys that ve asked you out fine, I do the same also to my girl and we laugh about it also she deos the same even I her ownself is too much questioning that most times lead to arguments either way we know each other. I myself am a graduate and ve to yet gone for service and presently not working, am not boxed up with cash but my girl understands my condition cuzz we are both adults and honest to each other. You must first understand each other in a realationship communication is the key to good long lasting relationship.

Goodluck on your own decision I suggest you act wisely and not foolishly

Only a stupid girl will think cheating will humble his pompous boyfriend.

Gosh, some girls!

@ Busy Body,
I sure do see what you mean. I agree with you absolutely. Wonder what I was thinking planning of cheating on him. Maybe I need to do a scan too just to be sure my brain is still intact. Lol. But gurl, megadose of insecurity, my gosh, where did you get that English. . . . That's a funny one, will use it in one of our gists one of these days.

who gives a bloody hoot if u turn yourself into a bloody Kuramo sperm-bag!!


go ahead, turn into a slut, be a cu.m-receptor, we dont give a flying Bleep!

LMAO! Funny thread.

Why are people so insulting? I don't get it, can't people give suggestions to people without necessarily using words like:

Infoseye:

just another bitch or LovePeddler

Orikinla:

Only a stupid girl . . .
Gosh, some girls!

I simply don't get it. Can't people just be decent in their language for once. Granted, it's a public forum and no body knows any body, but really, these languages can be demoralizing. I suggest people learn to be civilized, it says a lot about our personality.

@POSTER
Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another as to remain always
cool and unruffled under all circumstances. If you truly love him, adopt the pace of nature,
her secret is patience.

Cheating on your man is not the best option, atall, believe me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wish you the best.

Does he even consider you his girlfriend. At the rate you are going you will sleep with 50 men in one year. Then your posts will become "My fiance found out about my whorish past and now he wants to call of the wedding, nairaland abeg help me". You seem to have self esteem issues if you really want to turn yourself into a LovePeddler to keep a man. I don't understand your logic.