melissa429: Thank u for wakin me up,actualy nid 2 retink afta my so cald fiance pregnanted anoda gal,nid to get bizi makin moni,men ar jus a waste of tym nd resourseful tinkin

rickkid: I was wondering which Nigeria the OP was on about Certainly not this Nigeria I know where everybody is hustling to achieve their dream. Where I work, about 65% of the staff are women and many of them are single, some are married, some even have kids - it doesn't stop them from working. Even from my mother's generation women have not been slacking I mean for heavens sake my mum was making more money than my dad when they got married and this was in 1976! What on earth is the OP talking about??

Lol safarigirl maybe you just surround yourself with very lazy people. No woman I know is content to find husband and make babies.

dokunbam: Ladies again

rickkid: I was wondering which Nigeria the OP was on about Certainly not this Nigeria I know where everybody is hustling to achieve their dream. Where I work, about 65% of the staff are women and many of them are single, some are married, some even have kids - it doesn't stop them from working. Even from my mother's generation women have not been slacking I mean for heavens sake my mum was making more money than my dad when they got married and this was in 1976! What on earth is the OP talking about??

Lol safarigirl maybe you just surround yourself with very lazy people. No woman I know is content to find husband and make babies.

freecocoa: As in eh, the thing dey pain me die.

The other day in a bus, we were held by traffic and somehow everyone got engaged in a conversation, at a point we brought up women and work, Omo you need to hear what these women were saying, they even went as far as saying that successful women don't respect their husbands, I just weak.

bayulll01:
the only thing i like about u is ur eloquent and good command of english

niggereyez: OP... sorry but I don't totally agree wit u. if u keep the right company (no offence intended), u'll know that there are many more visionary women in our society today..
truelly, gone are those days when women are satisfied being just housewives.

Where I work, about 65% of the staff are women and many of them are single, some are married, some even have kids - it doesn't stop them from working. Even from my mother's generation women have not been slacking. What on earth is the OP talking about??

[/quote]In as much as much as this is true to an extent I feel its not common to all females and also their men also have a role to play.

Some girls are ambitous but they need a little push from someone which I think can come from their husbands. Me for one always look forward to improving myself academically and my husband has told me the last he will do with his money is to establish a biz outfit for me so I got to work!

[quote author=safarigirl] If you're one who has stayed within the female hostel of any Nigerian University, you'll find that most of it's occupants share similar hopes and dreams- and no, it's not to excel in their chosen career paths.

One of the lecturers in my school aptly described women as 'a waste of education'...no, it wasn't an insult, it was just stating the obvious. You find a woman who has hustled through primary, secondary and University education. One who looked set to be a force to reckon with in the world of business or law or medicine, I mean a female with straight A's and you think Nigerian women may be getting things right, only to follow her back to her hostel and hear these heart-breaking words:

"Omo, after school na to find husband marry remain."

In the real sense of the word this is translated to:

"After school, I'll fling my degee inside one iron box in my dad's storeroom, find a perfect mugu that will put a ring on my finger, buy me a car, set up a boutique/beauty saloon for me and all I have to do to get this is spread my legs for him and push out little people with his DNA"

Nigerian women view marriage the same way hustling Nigerian men view the US Green Card- an avenue to escape life's troubles. So in the same way you find 23 year old Nigerian men marrying 56 year old American women, you find young, promising women relegated to some man's priority list.

I don't think most Nigerian women realise that nobody wants to get attached to a leech. If you allow some Nigerian women, they would even want their husbands to carry the babies and birth them as well. And when you ask why they don't want to build wealth with a man, you hear:

"I've already suffered in my father's house. I don't want to continue suffering in my husband's house"

Now unless you're getting married to a no-good leech like yourself, there is no reason why building wealth with a man should be termed 'suffering'

Even on Sun Newspaper's 'Beauty Of The Week' it's the same thing.

Future Ambition: Getting Married And Having Kids

If you think God put you on this earth to make a liability of yourself, you need to think again. There is more to life than being someone's baby mama. There is a purpose for getting an education that lies beyond being able to speak good english whenever you and your man attend social functions

Nigerian women need to sit down and re-evaluate their lives. God sent you to assist a man, not to add to his problems. Men appreciate women who can think for themselves, who want to contribute to the family (and I don't mean churning out kids). There is nothing more endearing than a smart woman who views men as companions rather than money bags.


Don't waste the education your parents worked so hard to provide for you. Break the stereotype, Nigerian women should be more than gold-digging leeches. If the likes of Oby Ezekwesili, Joke Silva, NOI can be successful career women as well as wives and mothers, then we all need to dust up our certificates and CVs and have proper future ambitions.


God Bless You...and don't take this the wrong way

alaladakosta: But Seriously yoruba men are are lazy, low life , losers. They don't have no future plans, am not saying all of them, cus am Yoruba. But many of them give up easily.

Shutout to ma ibo brothers, men nigga can go any lent to make a change. Drug, rituals name it.

safarigirl: well, the likes of Genevieve and Linda Ikeji that aren't married are not asking anyone to drop CVs.

I'm not asking anyone to believe me, this isn't about me, this is about the Nigerian woman and it isn't about you and whatever you believe cuz your beliefs are of little or no importance to me and women who want to make something of themselves.

So here's me throwing your 'beliefs' straight out the window

xp17: @safarigirl, in as much I don't have problems with women being ambitious, but a little bit would be okay. unlike men, women have more caring and organized nature, they pay more attention to details when it comes down to domestic issues, hence they should be closer to the home, irrespective of their ambitions.

personally, I'll hand over all the sensitive responsibilities to my wife, especially in the areas of monitoring the kids change in behavior, spending more time with the kids in other to prevent them from roaming up and down the street, like sheep without a Shepard, and making the family planning. if she can do those, I careless whatever she does with the rest of her time, as long as she not putting the family interest in the line, in the pursuit of her goals.


for women: family first , then ambition follows

for men: use your ambition to secure your family, because women hate broke a'ss guys

pansophist: This thread makes me wonder if it the same safarigirl that opened a thread yesterday about why 'Nigerian ladies should not settle for less''

You fail to see that they have nothing to offer, wonder if you did a brain ugrade, because this your topic make so much sense compare to the latter.

zizazizu: It is difficult to think outside that line. Women live in an environment where they are viewed as that, told as that and expected to behave as that. In fact, to go outside that line of thought would be considered unafrican. But that is where this article is apt. If u think like others, u lose ur own identity. Nice one op.

sauer:
As much as i like to hear talks like this, i rarely believe the women, especially Nigerian women, who churn out these concepts. You girls can so scream on paper like you are sure of yourselves and will always put your career ahead of any other thing.

But when it all comes down to it, one finds out you really don't have that stomach. Yes, you clearly don't. The ones who chicken out mostly are those educated in Nigeria, cultured in an environment that makes them second-class citizens.

I say it and stand on it. I'm yet to see that Nigerian girl who cares so much about her career to want to keep marriage at bay. Do you actually realize that okonjo-iweala's surgeon husband was cheating on her and was even blackmailed while at it? How many of you girls have the stomach for that? How many of you are not so carried away by that fantasy of 'my husband this' my husband that', 'happily ever after', 'no divorce', 'golden wedding'. All bull.s.hit without boundary.

Safarigirl, abi what do they call you. It's not enough to type the words. After you have walked the talk, write a book and then buzz me!

kilokeys: the population of lagos viewing this topic.. nobody is commenting..
i go yarn my own sha..

ladies, get married to successful men.


men, go and work hard

no finance, no romance

lastly: as a proud ibo boi.. i don't split bills.. she can do whatever she likes with her money.... all i know is, my food and booty must never b compromised.

yeah na me talk so

jennylove7575: I don't blame these Nigerian women, the society and their background are parts of the contributing factors.. Nigeria society is masculine dominated society. Men in Nigeria get away with lots of misdeeds against women.. If you look deeply into the societal norms and values you will see clearly that Nigerian women are seen as second class and Nigerian men rules. All these, boils down to the society man made culture and tradition.
90% of Nigerian women learnt from their parent that marriage is the final bustop and procreation caps it all. Therefore, A career ambitious woman is labelled loose, promiscuous, and unmarriageable.
Yes statistics shows that many female Nigerian university undergraduate students don't take studies too seriously because they have lost confidents of pursuing their career further due to their personal believes, mentality and orientation to start a family for security and to have a voice in the society as well as respect.

xp17: @safarigirl, in as much I don't have problems with women being ambitious, but a little bit would be okay. unlike men, women have more caring and organized nature, they pay more attention to details when it comes down to domestic issues, hence they should be closer to the home, irrespective of their ambitions.

personally, I'll hand over all the sensitive responsibilities to my wife, especially in the areas of monitoring the kids change in behavior, spending more time with the kids in other to prevent them from roaming up and down the street, like sheep without a Shepard, and making the family planning. if she can do those, I careless whatever she does with the rest of her time, as long as she not putting the family interest in the line, in the pursuit of her goals.


for women: family first , then ambition follows

for men: use your ambition to secure your family, because women hate broke a'ss guys

thandii1:

You don't have to twist the truth to make a point. The reasonable comments so far have been made by the ladies with the men derailing and some doing what they know how to do best, provoking and throwing insults around.

And as for the most beautiful , most handsome and other reetarded threads you call trivalities, you find more of men in there. Quit the lies.

@topic, I graduated from the university few years ago and I have ex coursemates who are married without jobs or any other additional qualification. They have No vocation of reasonable business too. All they do is make babies and attend other people's weddings . The type of question they ask people like me and a few of my friends building our career and getting additional qualifications always leave me speechless. To them, we are chasing shadows and wasting time. Settling down early is their definition of achievement. They are so comfortable in their husbands houses hiding under doing business, when all they are doing is just spending their husband's money.

The definition of fulfilment is very subjective. I wouldn't fault their lifestyles if only they just let me and my few career-oriented ladies be instead of looking down on us and telling us we are not setting our priorities right.

I'm a huge fan of marriage , i come from a very good home and I would like to build my own home at the appropriate time. Thankfully I have parents and siblings (3sisters) I can emulate as role models- those who appreciate the importance of being independent and well read, so I don't have pressure issues from my home at all. My mum has balanced both successfully, my 2sisters have, nothing stops me from achieving the same too.

Nice topic.

safarigirl: If you're one who has stayed within the female hostel of any Nigerian University, you'll find that most of it's occupants share similar hopes and dreams- and no, it's not to excel in their chosen career paths.

One of the lecturers in my school aptly described women as 'a waste of education'...no, it wasn't an insult, it was just stating the obvious. You find a woman who has hustled through primary, secondary and University education. One who looked set to be a force to reckon with in the world of business or law or medicine, I mean a female with straight A's and you think Nigerian women may be getting things right, only to follow her back to her hostel and hear these heart-breaking words:
"Omo, after school na to find husband marry remain."

In the real sense of the word this is translated to:

"After school, I'll fling my degee inside one iron box in my dad's storeroom, find a perfect mugu that will put a ring on my finger, buy me a car, set up a boutique/beauty saloon for me and all I have to do to get this is spread my legs for him and push out little people with his DNA"

Nigerian women view marriage the same way hustling Nigerian men view the US Green Card- an avenue to escape life's troubles. So in the same way you find 23 year old Nigerian men marrying 56 year old American women, you find young, promising women relegated to some man's priority list.

I don't think most Nigerian women realise that nobody wants to get attached to a leech. If you allow some Nigerian women, they would even want their husbands to carry the babies and birth them as well. And when you ask why they don't want to build wealth with a man, you hear:

"I've already suffered in my father's house. I don't want to continue suffering in my husband's house"

Now unless you're getting married to a no-good leech like yourself, there is no reason why building wealth with a man should be termed 'suffering'

Even on Sun Newspaper's 'Beauty Of The Week' it's the same thing.

Future Ambition: Getting Married And Having Kids

If you think God put you on this earth to make a liability of yourself, you need to think again. There is more to life than being someone's baby mama. There is a purpose for getting an education that lies beyond being able to speak good english whenever you and your man attend social functions
Nigerian women need to sit down and re-evaluate their lives. God sent you to assist a man, not to add to his problems. Men appreciate women who can think for themselves, who want to contribute to the family (and I don't mean churning out kids). There is nothing more endearing than a smart woman who views men as companions rather than money bags.

Don't waste the education your parents worked so hard to provide for you. Break the stereotype, Nigerian women should be more than gold-digging leeches. If the likes of Oby Ezekwesili, Joke Silva, NOI can be successful career women as well as wives and mothers, then we all need to dust up our certificates and CVs and have proper future ambitions.

godofwar666: Nigerian women don't think straight espacially the learned one's... All they think of is to make use of iphone6, brazilian hair, exotic cars and to be with there sugar daddie! Please don't quote

thandii1:

@ 1st bolded, I agree and that is why it doesn't hurt to read this write up of hers once in a while as a reminder.

@2nd bolded, of course there are, but when they do so, they are called names mocked and ridiculed, the society wouldn't let them breathe. There will always be that reminder both from the male and female folks that they are incomplete. Only a few can stomach such in this hostile environment of Nigeria, but those few still exist. These are the unmarried ones.

The ones that manage to get married with their eyes still fixed on their career(and are not ready to settle for less) are faced with challenges from the society, husband, inlaws, friends, who keep reminding her that her family should come first, not necessarily the husband this time around but the kids involved too). It is really a tough one.

alaladakosta: But Seriously yoruba men are are lazy, low life , losers. They don't have no future plans, am not saying all of them, cus am Yoruba. But many of them give up easily.

Shutout to ma ibo brothers, men nigga can go any lent to make a change. Drug, rituals name it.

Onegai:

I hate to break this to you, but there are NO GENETIC STUDIES PROVING WOMEN ARE MORE CARING AND ORGANIZED. Seriously, check. Real published Medical papers, none.

Even in real life, almost all my male relatives are neater but less organized than my female relatives. Women hoard stuff, it's hard to be a hoarder and be very organized.

And kids need their Fathers: my father taught me everything and insisted on homework being done well, as opposed to my mum who said "just do the homework". That's why kids are growing crazier each day, because parents are busy delegating responsibilities to each other and chasing money. Ask your grandfather whether it was his mother that taught him to plant yam or clear forest for farm, he will laugh tire. Your kids need their fathers and mothers. EOD.