My childhood friend came running to my house in a very tensed mood, when I asked him what the problem was he just stood motionless, unable to mutter a word, I later took him out to the bar to calm his nerves, these were what he told me, being unable to advice him, not to advice wrongly I want to throw it up to you, I seeked his consent mind you because he is a fellow Nlander, let's go there.
My friend has been the type you would refer to as being a good guy, he was the kind of guy every girl would dream of, faithful, Godly, rich, tall and very handsome, we were course mates at the university, we parted ways after graduation and got re-united months back, he met this Pretty girl during his service year during camp and they became best of friend, they started dated during their NYSC scheme ,while dating he made some approach to make love to her and he was turned down by her, he already anticipated that so was never bothered, but he was surprised w hen she told him she was a virgin and was keeping herself for her husband, which made him to love her the more and showed more interest in the relationship, during the course of their dating he told her everything about himself including his former bad habits and addictions whom he has quitted, he also encouraged her to do same but she declined telling him she was a good girl in all raminification, he believed her in good faith.
My friend proposed to her immediately after service because he was well to do as he comes from a very wealthy family, she accepted and everything as regards the marriage was done in a grand style, where the problem now began was the night he has been awaiting for the better part of his life, after the aftermath party he excused his friends and took his wedded wife to their executive lounge, so he was expecting a real battle that night, he even had to ask his friends whom had dis-virgin a lady what to expect and he was well tutored, on getting there he met no stiff opposition, he had a free ride infact he had an express ride and a more experienced treat than what he had ever had, puzzled, he had to stop for some questions as he never bargained for what he saw, upon fierce interrogation she then opened up to him that she was raped while in secondary school and as such never had affection for men and became a secondary virgin and that she became madly in love with him and was afraid she may loose him if she confided in him, but he was furious that see never told him while they were dating, my friend feels cheated and betrayed and is contemplating calling it quits because he strongly believes any marriage that was built on deceit may not stand the test of time, so what do you feel guys? Should he forgive her? I need to get back to him as soon as possible as he is in a very bad shape so messed up.

Truely I will feel so cheated and bad....wil distance myself frm her for a while den as the sayin goes, time heals. As time goes on, I wil forgive her

haaaa......Naija gals calling themselves "secondary virgin"....who us deceiving who

the decision to move on or stay depends on ur friend sha bt one thing is for sure sha, even after the rape she claims, i can bet that punny has been active....

by the way, U will think 90% of naija gals lost their virginity to rape.....#OLD-SCHOOL-LIES-&-SECONDARY-VIRGIN- THINZ

....me na primary virgin o

sad,i can imagine the pain ur friend is passing through.But i fink he should forgive her knowing that most rape victims usually find it difficult to love again.she could be saying d truth. besides,what are her other characters like.did she ever cheat on him while they were dating,if not then he should forgive her.time heals wound. remember he must involve God on what ever decision he is taking.best of luck.

All man dey claim virgin... even my papa sef na virgin... your friend wan marry virgin abi... he hasn't seen anything...


he should better run back to the bone of his bone... mtcheww

Since i know this is gonna make front-page, lemme comment

Dude that gurl was not raped in anyway cos if she was raped in secondary school, her hymen could have been very tight by now that it would not be so easy to penetrate. Infact it seems she had sex before the wedding.

Sorry i could be straight to the point. Am a realist

ifex370:
All man dey claim virgin... even my papa sef na virgin... your friend wan marry virgin abi... he hasn't seen anything...


he should better run back to the bone of his bone... mtcheww

Not really, he wasn't so keen about the virgin thing, he only respected her views and being the fact she was 1.

the guilt would eat her up. but he should forgive, at least for the sake of the love he has

MKSON:
Since i know this is gonna make front-page, lemme comment

Dude that gurl was not raped in anyway cos if she was raped in secondary school, her hymen could have been very tight by now that it would not be so easy to penetrate. Infact it seems she had sex before the wedding.

Sorry i could be straight to the point. Am a realist

Exactly my point bro, had that view too, you sensitive issues like this one need to belatedly in rendering advice, ladies can't be trusted this days o

emerich:

Not really, he wasn't so keen about the virgin thing, he only respected her views and being the fact she was 1.

okay but he shouldn't divorce her still that would be stupidity at its peak plus it will surely land him in hell

topchi:
sad,i can imagine the pain ur friend is passing through.But i fink he should forgive her knowing that most rape victims usually find it difficult to love again.she could be saying d truth. besides,what are her other characters like.did she ever cheat on him while they were dating,if not then he should forgive her.time heals wound. remember he must involve God on what ever decision he is taking.best of luck.

She never did while they were dating atleast to the best of his knowledge.

To be realistic,d guy will never 4gt d issue cos its a big expectation.nd too much of expectations which led to failure do hurt.besides d marriage has start to lack trust wish I pray nd hope it culd be regain.but d lady F* up.

For me, there's no way i'd feel cheated. True, she told me one thing and I discovered something else but it shouldn't call for issues. R.ape victims are mostly traumatized and some ladies who don't have the strength to get over it may not recover from the experience, and this could in turn cause them to either hate the opposite sex or feel indifferent about love issues and trust. Her only mistake was keeping it from him, but then again, you'd want to ponder on why she opened up after marriage. To some male folks, it's callousness while I see her as someone who has misplaced the trust she earned in the relationship over the years. She was molested, probably against her wish and she's with someone who loves her. Plead with your friend to treat the issue lightly, since she's a victim, lest your friend's reactions could deal her another trauma.

I wonder what kind of a man will bring such issue to a friend, he is making mistakes aswear. what does he expects you to tell him, whatever happens to forgiveness.
op you could as well advice your friend to stop exposing people he loves so much like that

fine.Then i think all he need is time,he should also sit her down and have a heart to heart talk with her.let her know that lies and deciets will have no place in their marriage onwards.if she 's truely sorry and repentant then she should be forgiven.if not t, he knows where he stands.

AfricanApple:
I wonder what kind of a man will bring such issue to a friend, he is making mistakes aswear. what does he expects you to tell him, whatever happens to forgiveness.
op you could as well advice your friend to stop exposing people he loves so much like that

It's not exposing as you see it, It's called wise counsel, many mistakes in relationship wld had been averted had it been a proper advice was yielded to, am like a brother to him, so he feels like he could trust and confide in me.

Forgive Fire!!!!.
In this case,
FORGIVENESS IS A SIN.
Haba, if you good lets know, If you don spoil like me, make we know. I dey hate this kine people.
Op tell your friend, she is still Lying. That story of rape and all is a well planned out annoying morafuckng LIE. Their wedding night sex self na lie. She "acted" her best hoping to make up for the lie, praying the pleasure will make him stupid.

I know say I wicked sha. But if na me, Na season film o!!! i hate liers like terrorists

Reasons why I don't give a damn about virginity, tell me U don't wanna have sex and I'll believe U, talk about been a virgin as ur reason and I'll find it difficult to take U serious, not because U aren't a virgin but because THESE HOES AIN'T LOYAL.

The lady messed up big time, seriously some if not higher % of ladies finds it difficult in opening up about their past to their guys even when courting.
Op if ur friend quits the marriage because of her deceit, he never can tell how deceitful the next lady will be. A known devil is better than an unknown angel, I think the rest lies with the wife to win his TRUST.

@Op tell your friend to tell her newly tokubo wife to move out of his house. She is still telling more lies and I bet you she will confess more of her deed other than this rape victim she just spew out. It best to face the problem now than to ignore it or like we always do push it under the carpet through the guise of forgiveness. Rape ko rape ni. What is there to open up to someone who is dam sincere to you about your past after all your friend told her his past. Tell your friend to deal with it now, involving his and her parents (Pastor/Imam should not be involve) if he still want the marriage to stand the test of time and that is after she has moved to her parent house so that she will know the degree of trust in marriage.

Wow! so this 'I was raped' line is still in use? I guess when I ask d question I'd be sure to add, "do u mean 2ndary virgin?
back to the topic. she's obviously lying. cos if she was raped n in presume just once, he should still find it tight n even difficult unlike d free way he experienced. anyway I'm not of the opinion that he should call it off. he should forgive her but make her feel really sorry for it.

Try to tell him to accept it, @ least she opened...for her to be afraid to loose him means shes deeply in love.
Marriage is nt suppose to be perfect, we all have our flaws

Lol, oldest trick in the book... story for the gods

So girls still use this rape verse!?

If she trully love your friend, she would have told him the truth when they were dating..@least, at some point.

Virgin or not, if a girl don't have sex for a while, her kitten will be kinda tight... That b.itch been f.ckin

Input ko, Output ni.

Ladies of this days self most she lied that she is still a virgin ,.i don't know what ladies think about their virginity or may be they thing telling a guys that they are still a virgins makes guys love them.75% guys don't value your virginity Cs it nothing to them so why most she lie what wil be wil surely be this one is a serious issue honestly if I am the guy I wil just dump her it wil services as a lesson to other ladies out there that still under pretend of been a virgins.ladies stop all this your attitude of am still a virgins after you've lost it it kills many relationship .i know of 4 different relationship that flop base on am still a virgin

What your friend does or doesn't do will depend on a lot of factors,
I think this will bring up some trust issues, because part of his falling in love with her was based on the fact that he could trust her, which now has been destroyed. The truth is the girl isn't truthful, she might be raped or not, but she hasn't said the whole truth. At what point did she decide to become a secondary virgin, how many guys and how many times has she had sex before she made that decision? (based on the experienced experience you said your friend has)
I simply think your friend has been used, plain and simple. No sentiments and no apology.
My honest advice, is for your friend to call the wife, yes she is now the wife so divorce cannot be an option, they need to rebuild the foundation of their marriage, she needs to tell him the whole truth, he has a right to be angry but he shouldn't be angry for long, he must forgive, notice I said must, otherwise that's the beginning of the end for his marital happiness. My experience with them daughters of Eve is that none can be trusted, heck I don't even truse myself with them.

In all to err is human to forgive is divine, but to be decieved is plain stupid.

All the best.

emerich:

It's not exposing as you see it, It's called wise counsel, many mistakes in relationship wld had been averted had it been a proper advice was yielded to, am like a brother to him, so he feels like he could trust and confide in me.

he exposed his wife without knowing. now you knew a secret the wife would love so much to keep.
best thing is forgive or does he wanna file for a divorce?
there is no advice needed on this issue, he should be able to take his own decision on such matters

I wish him good luck

has he now seen all the advice given to him?

AfricanApple:
he exposed his wife without knowing. now you knew a secret the wife would love so much to keep.
best thing is forgive or does he wanna file for a divorce?
there is no advice needed on this issue, he should be able to take his own decision on such matters

I wish him good luck

has he now seen all the advice given to him?

I think the better part of the advice given to him is to forgive and love her unconditionally, but the task ahead is getting him to regain the trust he had for her, I believe time would heal his broken heart, you wouldn't understand what it feels like to be betrayed by someone you truly loved.

END IT.

DONT FORGIVE HER.


IF YOUR FRIEND WAS IMPOTENT WITH LITTLE PE...NIS SHE WILL ABANDON HIM IMMEDIATELY.




DUMP HER!

Kk4:
So girls still use this rape verse!?

If she trully love your friend, she would have told him the truth when they were dating..@least, at some point.

Virgin or not, if a girl don't have sex for a while, her kitten will be kinda tight... That b.itch been f.ckin

HAHAHA......TRUE.....SHE HAS BEEN FVVVCKING DIFFERENT PE...NIS BOTH IN HER VAJAYJAY AND HER SHIIIT HOLE. FRONT AND BACK.

ifex370:



okay but he shouldn't divorce her still that would be stupidity at its peak plus it will surely land him in hell

WHAT HELL?

U DONT KNOW WHAT U R SAYING. FALLACY

MKSON:
Since i know this is gonna make front-page, lemme comment

Dude that gurl was not raped in anyway cos if she was raped in secondary school, her hymen could have been very tight by now that it would not be so easy to penetrate. Infact it seems she had sex before the wedding.

Sorry i could be straight to the point. Am a realist

U R MY BROTHER....SAY IT THE WAY IT IS