That two people are in love does not necessarily mean they are good for marriage.

Do you believe it? Then what determines longevity in marriage?

love determines it. love, respect and tolerance.

The original post is very true. Love is just a feeling, but marriage is about compatibility. If you must fall in love, fall in love with someone that's compatible with you. For love to be rewarding, you need to choose correctly.

i believe there aint no formular out there for love cuzz if there is, i sure wud have got it by now.

There's are many good formulars for a good relationship, which naturally brings feelings of love.

There's no formular for shallow love. Fortunately, that kind is not important except in movies.

@dearie

I think what you are saying is that if two people are in
love, is it still possible for them to be unfit for marriage?

To me, Love is a major component for marriage. But there are
other things to consider. For instance, may be neither party are
mature enough for the union. Or neither one of them is
financially stable.

Plus, may be the couple have not known each other long
enough. Either way, I think people should not just jump into
marriage as soon as they feel they are in love. Give the
relationship time to develop.

thats weird, but kinda real. two pple in love does not warrant marriage. hmmmmmmmmm

Busta:

thats weird, but kind of real. two people in love does not warrant marriage. hmmmmmmmmm

Good point, I was once in love with a Hausa girl a very long time ago, but we knew we could never get married no matter how much we loved each other.

Hey Zulu, where u 4m if she's hausa?

Busta:

kool!

Just kidding I'm Igbo.

dearie:

That two people are in love does not necessarily mean they are good for marriage.

Absolutely true! People change and if the people in love have not "Come into themselves" if they are not very mature 25-28 then after couple of years of marriage they may not be as compatible & problems will develop.

dearie:
Then what determines longevity in marriage?

Love, very much so. But also the ability to complement each other, to be friends! To settle disputes well (w/o hurting feelings). To be honest! To be vulnerable!!!

i share that pinion too,two people in love if they are not compatible,they may not be fit for marriage.

Chinani, what do you mean by "the ability to be vulnerable"? Is that good or bad?

Seun:

Chinani, what do you mean by "the ability to be vulnerable"? Is that good or bad?

Good.

How can "being susceptible to physical or emotional injury" be good? It sounds like a weakness to me!

Itz possible that two people in Love do not get to settle down as Husband and Wife.
But LOVE should be the foundation of any relationship that will end up in Marriage

It is quite true that two people in love might not be fit fo marriage but Love should always be the foundation of marriage.

Its so unfortunate that what most of us use as a yardstick for marriage is feelings which wanes or fade away with time.Many people who claim to be in love during dating and courtship realize they fall out of it soon after honey moon.As important as love is IN marriage it should not be totally based on mere feelings.The realization of the fact that responsibility demands that i take care of my partner and see to making him or her a better person keeps any couple tied to the vows of marriage.So also is the issue of destination so Germain when considering who to marry.Many C.E.O's fall in love with their secretaries because they feel more comfortable talking about their business with them whereas their wives know no jack about their husbands business.The result of this is that the man prefers to communicate with the secretary and ignores the woman at home. There and then,the wax that binds them together melts gradually.So love is just one of the elements that keeps a marriage,others include,responsibility,communication and, destination.

The Long and Short Story here is all about COMPATIBILITY

love is not the Major criteria for marriage.

yes , LOVE IS EVERYTHING!!!but,what about if they are not predestined to marry?will you FORCE them to do it?you know,there are two things in a relationship,ONE,is to say I LOVE YOU,and the TWO,is to keep the WORDS, I LOVE YOU, AND THE PROMISES THATS FOLLOWS.

Love is definitely enough reason for marriage, most of us feel were in love but sit down in silence and darkness and think what you have. i have a girl whose miles apart , she never calls and whenever i challenge it shes always like if i dont call pls do call and find out , y do laodies have to take the balck seat and watch the boi do the streesss of making teh relaptionship work out. its not fair. our naija sisters arent so good in relaptionships they just watch you do it and think if you are ryt, always wishin for the better, am one of those few who dont bliv in marriage coz ladies are never willing to giv u their hart 110 % . feel me brovas, be realists and youll never be hurt. definiteli love is not enuff reason to marry but if you do feel it so hard, then gp for that sista.

There are thingS that can hinder you from marrying your partner
1, lack of communication
2, showing no interest
3lack of loving n caring
4lack of time spending
5lack of respect
6lack of appreciation E.T.C
you will lose everything if you are in LOVE, but don't know how to ACT.

To me i feel, Love is the ability to cope with the negative part of the opposite sex.

So i think when two are in love its determins who love each most and then sky is the limit

[color=#770077][/color] When twompeople areTRULY in love they should consider living together till death do them part.

i have totally agree with charm1 he has just said it all, i mean the Bilble tell mi that GOD is LOVE so what we are all saying is that ,we can only have feeling for each other as the time the relationship is starting and by gruadual process it becomes LOVE through good responsibility!
Thank You

What determines longevity in marriage?

Knowledge of your personalities, pasts, goals, families, wants, needs, perspectives.
An ability to be independent of each other in a way that compliments your lifestyles; couples who spend too much time together don't last, omit each others' dreams and build resentment.
Maturity.
An understanding of your vows; not bending and breaking them to suit yourselves or hold the other person in a subordinate position.

if two people are in love then give me a reason why they shouldnt get married.love is a true feeling and it never dies so if u are in love and u get married there are possibilities that u could remain in love till the end.dats if there is compatibility.

From my findings and everyday observation. I have come to the conclusion that , ' you love with your heart and marry with your head' .

Marriage is an entirely different ball game my people. What you thing is relevant when you are in love is not visible anymore when you are married.


My advise? If what you can cope with for the rest of your life in a partner is more than what you cannot tolerate then go on.

If its the other way round , run. Nothing like 'he/she wiill change'.


I like the technic my fiancee is using amyway

this is quite interesting.

You are all right anyway, My own point of view is that for any relationship that want to lead to marriage there must be a foundation, A marriage is an institution, a house entirely, & if you want to have a solid & lasting building you must have a solid foundation, this also appear to the issue of marriage, for all & any successful marriage there must be a foundation & what is the foundation? LOVE, what did God said about LOVE? Love is patient and kind, love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. love does not demand its own way. love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance, Love will last forever, Mind you the love that will last is a real love not mere love, & if you want to have a lasting marriage you must have all it take to love a person with who & what he or she is

hey how can pple in love not wanna get married

thats weird
if u r in love u should be able to tolerate that persons bad habits
wxcept if it is unacceptable stuff like cheating e.t.c