Whom does he love more?

Such question breeds wicked stepmothers.

Concern yourself with how to become a good mother for your stepchild who already fears losing his/her father's love and gaining your wickedness.

LostMermaid:


If the man is spoiling the child from his past relationship

seems you have it in for this girl.

LostMermaid:



Do you have anything to tell, on how not to feel a little bit sad that he experienced that with someone else?

must you date/marry a baby daddy?

Is the man rich?

Its not clear why you refuse to date elsewhere.

LostMermaid:


You're really right....

I just can't help but feel (SOMETIMES) that if that woman hadn't lied about being on birth control pill when she actually wasn't, and then not understanding pregnancy until 4th month, and all; I would have had the chance of forming a more problem-less life with the man who I believe is the one for me. When I think about it, it makes me angry.... It's like that ex stole that show from me. I dont know how to express in the right way but like... stole my chance of being a family with him and experiencing having a child the feelings of becoming parents together, for the first time.. Do you understand me? Tell me, how would you feel? And how can I stop this from annoying me sometimes?

But it's not like when I see the child these are on my head. When I see the child, I view the child as something lovely, innocent and fun, I don't base my behavior on what I think about the past relationship or his ex or whatsoever. People adopt kids; they don't know who their moms are; maybe the worst person maybe a prostitute, a sinner, anything. A child is not the same thing as a mother. I'm not the same person as my mom. I know that.

aunty, have you ever thought to ask your boyfriend why he did not use a condom.

as per the rest of your rant, I just have to believe it is evidence of an unsaved mind. You really should accept Jesus Christ into your life so you can be delivered from these demons that haunt you.

i would also like to ask- where are you from? You are not Nigerian, right? I'm suspecting perhaps in your culture your behavior might not be considered strange.

Is your boyfriend aware you are not happy he has a daughter?

Lmao @ he doesn't enjoy unprotected se-x. So its all on her, everything is her fault and you just joined in and decided to buy fight. Ngwa nu. Anyway since you refuse to answer any of my questions. I wish you best of luck

carefreewannabe:
I read the first two paragraphs and stopped because it is enough for me to know that you should not get married to this man, in fact, you should not get married at all. You are jealous of a child and it shows how immature you are. You have no business getting married.

A father's love does not depend on the love for his mother. If it did, all divorced men would stop loving their kids or love them less.

You remind me of the kind of women who abuse kids. Extremely irritating thread.

I did d same 2! As if its d child's fault. Nawa o!

aisha2:
Lmao @ he doesn't enjoy unprotected se-x. So its all on her, everything is her fault and you just joined in and decided to buy fight. Ngwa nu. Anyway since you refuse to answer any of my questions. I wish you best of luck

I might have not noticed them...

If it's my age, I don't want to tell...

Well ok you're right; he should have taken his own precaution to avoid it 100%.

Yet; if a partner says they have taken precaution; you might believe them. And if that partner LIES about it; I think they are faulty. I mean would you lie about it to your man? A lot of honest women wouldn't; even if they're married!

tpiah11:


aunty, have you ever thought to ask your boyfriend why he did not use a condom.

as per the rest of your rant, I just have to believe it is evidence of an unsaved mind. You really should accept Jesus Christ into your life so you can be delivered from these demons that haunt you.

i would also like to ask- where are you from? You are not Nigerian, right? I'm suspecting perhaps in your culture your behavior might not be considered strange.

Is your boyfriend aware you are not happy he has a daughter?

Yes, I asked and he said the woman was taking birth control pills so he thought no need for a condom. He thought she wouldn't lie about it.

Actually when I see the child, I'm happy. But he knows I get a bit sad that he experienced the feeling of being a father with another woman.

crackhaus:

Oh my, moca if you really believe this then you will believe anything.

If only you knew moca, if only you knew - but please carry on, keep making unfounded assumptions

Iyaaaaaa!!!
No be today hausa men begin use spear!
I never ever make mistakes in this kind of thing
I can tell who is smitten by who here, pure hatred from who to whom,gal/gal rivalries bc of jealousy, guy/guy admiration and image booster eg all d guys r alive and extra charged when coogar is in d house(d men's thread says it all) and those flirting with each other.
I study my environment wella and here is no excpetion

But carry go, nothing do u
Once she declare say she don carry belle, u will mellow
I pray I will still be here by then

tpiah11:


must you date/marry a baby daddy?

Is the man rich?

Its not clear why you refuse to date elsewhere.

He's not rich. You might find it strange, but I'm all honest here, even about dark thoughts so it's an honest answer as well;

Based on his approach, behavior, reactions etc. so far; I love his character. And I think it's not common to find someone like him. At least for me. His heart and character. How he behaved in hard situations I was going through, how he supported and understood, how he is concerned with everything that might be bad for me, how whatever makes me sad, he understands perfectly, how we can talk and laugh for hours, how he shows his love frequently, and proves it...how he makes me feel....

this goes on. I don't want to make it long. Do you understand? I hope you understand....

This OP really needs help,smh.

LostMermaid:

I might have not noticed them...
If it's my age, I don't want to tell...
Well ok you're right; he should have taken his own precaution to avoid it 100%.
Yet; if a partner says they have taken precaution; you might believe them. And if that partner LIES about it; I think they are faulty. I mean would you lie about it to your man? A lot of honest women wouldn't; even if they're married!

My questions are ;

1. Why are you so angry with the ex
2. Did she cheat on you?
3. Have you had any unpleasant experience with the ex or are you just basing your judgement of her on what he has told you?

aisha2:


Again I ask did the woman cheat on you? What exactly did she do to you? Why do you hate her so much? Why not let your ex be the one expressing all these emotions? Has she offended you?

Isn't it your fiancee who should have these feelings and carry this beef? They had a relationship it ended badly. Why are you carrying this matter on your head?

The original questions

damiso:

She is always moaning she is lazy, she leaves her plate in the sink, she won't help me cook, etc etc but after a few disagreements on how she might have handled it if it was her own child (by the way her own child is much younger and she swears that her own child can never be like that as a teenager ) I just learnt to shut my mouth and mind my own business.I know how much she moaned when her hubby bought the girl am ipad while her own 7 yr old had a blackberry playbook, xbox, DS, in short every gadget kids have these days.She even moans that hubby was always broke and they could not go on holidays because he was supporting his own child through Uni when the 'lazy' girl refused to get a job like she and her mates did while in Uni (not a bad suggestion but motive is my grouse here uni education vs holidays).Funny enough they got married when the girl was little and had lil or no issues then but issues started coming up as the girl hit puberty.

.

Did she not know that her hubby had a kid before?
Its never okay when other kids do it, but when our own kids do it we dont take it as bad
Ive been telling my son to clean the bathroom since Tuesday, he says Yes mum and twists me. . . . . I am still waiting.
I have a very mellow aunty when it comes to teenagers and she told me that all the things her househelps used to do that annoyed her back then, her kids did all the same things when they got to that age and so she doesnt get angry when teenagers do what they do.

It takes a special person and maturity and the fear of God to be a good stepmother
I dont think that the poster can cope. It will mean a total mind reset.
She doesnt understand the gravity of having a stepchild entails
The man may even have a softer spot for his daughter than the posters own kids due to guilt on his part.
Its a life time venture
She may even find herself sitting at the edge of the high table when baby momma and her hubby sit together wearing and co at the daughters wedding.
When all the hurt and bitterness passes, the ex and hubby may become friends just for the kids sake . . they have a lifetime to make up
I dont think that the poster will be able to deal with this.
Somehow I dont see this set up working
She is not mentally ready for this
Better she leaves and finds a man that she can relate with on her own level.

There is a guy at work with 2 baby momma
He is seeing another work collegue
The young girl is happy now, but when she discovers that half his wages go on child support, and so she cant go to Dubai on holiday every year, or she cant have him to herself evety weekend, she may start blowing hot and cold.

aisha2:


Again I ask did the woman cheat on you? What exactly did she do to you? Why do you hate her so much? Why not let your ex be the one expressing all these emotions? Has she offended you?

Isn't it your fiancee who should have these feelings and carry this beef? They had a relationship it ended badly. Why are you carrying this matter on your head?

Ah ok. These are questions.

I didn't answer, cause I thought you're right. We shouldn't develop negative emotions against someone about something that happened in the past based on the things someone else told us, even if that person is our future husband.

I think my problem with this woman (IN THOUGHT, not in practice though- I was nice to her when I saw her) is that, by TELLING A LIE about how she is on birth control (if it's true- but why would he lie about it!) and then TRICKING him into this, when actually he wanted to separate; she stole his chance of having his first baby with the woman he wants to spend his life with; and also HER chance of experiencing that.

And then after 1, 2 years, changing her mind and cheating on him with another man; then not showing the baby....

She caused him pain. Created such big problems in his life; having to deal with a child when he's not ready and then taking the child away from him.

I saw how she tries to keep the child away because the child has a step father now so she doesn't need him anymore. So I know he's not lying about it.

He might be lying about she tricking him; but why would he? He could have said "well it happened by accident", simply, to me.

chaircover:


Did she not know that her hubby had a kid before?
Its never okay when other kids do it, but when our own kids do it we dont take it as bad
Ive been telling my son to clean the bathroom since Tuesday, he says Yes mum. . . . . I am still waiting.
I have a very mellow aunty when it comes to teenagers and she told me that all the things her househelps used to do that annoyed her back then, her kids did all the same things when they got to that age and so she doesnt get angry when teenagers do what they do.

It takes a special person and maturity and the fear of God to be a good stepmother
I dont think that the poster can cope. It will mean a total mind reset.
She doesnt understand the gravity of having a stepchild entails
The man may even have a softer spot for his daughter than the posters own kids due to guilt on his part.
Its a life time venture
She may even find herself sitting at the edge of the high table when baby momma and her hubby sit together wearing and co at the daughters wedding.
When all the hurt and bitterness passes, the ex and hubby may become friends just for the kids sake
I dont think that the poster will be able to deal with this.
Somehow I dont see this set up working
She is not mentally ready for this
Better she leaves and finds a man that she can relate with on her own level.

There is a guy at work with 2 baby momma
He is seeing another work collegue
The young girl is happy now, but when she discovers that half his wages go on child support, and so she cant go to Dubai on holiday every year, or she cant have him to herself evety weekend, she may start blowing hot and cold.

The root of the issue is the hate and bad things she has been told about the childs mother. The lady has been made out to be Satan's elder sister, till the lady realises that she has no business with the ex and no reason to curse and judge her she can't get past this.

She has 4 posts on thie issue and has been obsessing about it since last year so it's really a big issue and if she couldn't change her mind since October when this started I doubt she will listen to advice now she just needs validation that the exes babe is evil and her children will be better loved

Hey young woman,let me advice u like a big sis.
I want u to totally clear ur mindset of the junks ur guy feeds it every now and then by talking to him.
These r d rules(for u to wholeheartedly love that angel and never cross path with d mum)
Anytime he starts to talk against d ex, stop him midway. U can go further by taking d side of d ex. Watch ur man's mood.
Tell him no more talking against ur babymama abi he still crave for her?

And most importantly, try and schedule a meeting btw d two of u to avoid her being suspicious of u manhandling her gal.
Make her ur friend(u really don't hv choice here).
Now, if ur man is not comfortable with this arrangement, pls take a walk.
All these steps will endear u to d gal and d man's heart too.
Things like this takes maturity.
U can be 20 and matured or 30 and still reason like a kid.

This will psychologically prepare u for d role u r going to play in d near future and d ability to cope any time things go awry.

All d best.

LostMermaid:


Ah ok. These are questions.

I didn't answer, cause I thought you're right. We shouldn't develop negative emotions against someone about something that happened in the past based on the things someone else told us, even if that person is our future husband.

I think my problem with this woman (IN THOUGHT, not in practice though- I was nice to her when I saw her) is that, by TELLING A LIE about how she is on birth control (if it's true- but why would he lie about it!) and then TRICKING him into this, when actually he wanted to separate; she stole his chance of having his first baby with the woman he wants to spend his life with; and also HER chance of experiencing that.

And then after 1, 2 years, changing her mind and cheating on him with another man; then not showing the baby....

She caused him pain. Created such big problems in his life; having to deal with a child when he's not ready and then taking the child away from him.

I saw how she tries to keep the child away because the child has a step father now so she doesn't need him anymore. So I know he's not lying about it.

He might be lying about she tricking him; but why would he? He could have said "well it happened by accident", simply, to me.

My dear I am a woman, any man who spends his time and energy speaking so badly about an ex to the extent that you as his girlfriend will be filled with so much hate for the ex has a problem.

You met her, there was no issue with her then build on that and stop carrying another persons beef on your head

Do you think joining him to hate her will make him love you more?

Do you have exes? Does he hate them half as much as he hates yours?

What does he think about how you feel about his ex? Is he happy that you hate her so much?

Meanwhile people lie or exaggerate to make themselves look and feel better and your boyfriend is doing a great job planting so much bile in your heart, you have no reason to hate her but based on his say so you have so much negative emotions towards her

aisha2:


The root of the issue is the hate and bad things she has been told about the childs mother. The lady has been made out to be Satan's elder sister, till the lady realises that she has no business with the ex and no reason to curse and judge her she can't get past this.

She has 4 posts on thie issue and has been obsessing about it since last year so it's really a big issue and if she couldn't change her mind since October when this started I doubt she will listen to advice now she just needs validation that the exes babe is evil and her children will be better loved

And this is why she is inmature
When relationships end, very few people put their hand up and say I was to blame for something . . most people blame their Ex's
She beleives the sequence of events that her bf is tellign her as the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
Her Bf is an ex drug dealer . . .we dont know what happened that made the ex walk away
We dont know why the lady is keeping the girl away from the father
Drug dealing is a very dangerous venture
Drugs kill
A lot of crimes are commited by people high on drugs
Yet she only sees the wrong in the ex and none of her bf's faults
Funny enough the ex only offended the bf, however the bf's actions have wider implications.
Until she is able to see things logically and fairly I dont see this working.
The good thing about her is that she is honest rather than keeping it all in and then being wicked to the innocent child. Hopefully she will take to the advise here, now that its all in the open and walk away from this toxic and ready to explode situation.

moca:
Hey young woman,let me advice u like a big sis.
I want u to totally clear ur mindset of the junks ur guy feeds it every now and then by talking to him.
These r d rules(for u to wholeheartedly love that angel and never cross path with d mum)
Anytime he starts to talk against d ex, stop him midway. U can go further by taking d side of d ex. Watch ur man's mood.
Tell him no more talking against ur babymama abi he still crave for her?

And most importantly, try and schedule a meeting btw d two of u to avoid her being suspicious of u manhandling her gal.
Make her ur friend(u really don't hv choice here).
Now, if ur man is not comfortable with this arrangement, pls take a walk.
All these steps will endear u to d gal and d man's heart too.
Things like this takes maturity.
U can be 20 and matured or 30 and still reason like a kid.

This will psychologically prepare u for d role u r going to play in d near future and d ability to cope any time things go awry.

All d best.

Oh... Thank you very much for this sincere and nice post. I really appreciate it.

Well; when I tried that; tried to stop him and say the woman is not faulty he said I've never been in such an abusive relationship and I don't understand. He even told me that woman attempted to punch him hit him spit on him several times. He even punched him when he was asleep and woke him up like that!

When I saw baby mama, when we were visiting the child (and I was playing with the child- NO PROBLEMS! no wicked stepmom!!); I tried to talk a couple of friendly words with her, and he reacted so angry at me afterwards; as if I crossed the line by speaking in a friendly manner with the "enemy". That's how he reacted. And said things like; oh you taking sides with her, go on then, let's end it; and all, and he started being a bit mean to me, it made me cry.

So I thought, this woman did something really really bad to him. And if I'm with him, I can't go and talk friendly with that woman and all, because it's like betraying him as well.

That's how I felt...

Please correct me if I'm wrong.

chaircover:


And this is why she is inmature
When relationships end, very few people put their hand up and say I was to blame for something . . most people blame their Ex's
She beleives the sequence of events that her bf is tellign her
Her Bf is an ex drug dealer . . .we dont know what happened that made the ex walk away
We dont know why the lady is keeping the girl away from the father
Drug dealing is a very dangerous venture
Drugs kill
A lot of crimes are commited by people high on drugs
Yet she only sees the wrong in the ex
Until she is able to see things logically and fairly I dont see this working.
The good thing about her is that she is honest rather than keeping it all in and then being wicked to the innocent child. Hopefully she will take to the advise here, now that its all in the open and walk away from this toxic and ready to explode situation.

I have a permanent scar, an ex pushed me out of a moving car because I challenged him on cheating. Everyday my husband has to see that scar, we make jokes about it and laugh, he met the ex once and we were very cordial no insults no hate. I have also run into his exes and while they say hi, I greet them with a smile and we waka and joke.

Everyone has their baggage, imagine if my husband spent this much time and energy hating on an ex or I spent this much time and energy hating an ex

My friend was even married, seriously abused and divorced her first husband the ex will call and threaten her husband be very nasty and wicked to them yet when he was sick it was her husband running around to get him documents to travel for treatment, the ex even stayed in their guest house while preparing to travel.
Imagine if poster had to sit through a thanksgiving meal or Christmas meal with the ex wont she poison her?

It's very obvious d guy still hv a thing for d babymama.

The @op has been brainwashed so much by d guy that she sees nothing good about that lady.
Mark my words.
D guy still talk like a wounded lion.
To me,d problem here is d guy and not any babymama.

So @op, how well do u know ur man?

aisha2:


My dear I am a woman, any man who spends his time and energy speaking so badly about an ex to the extent that you as his girlfriend will be filled with so much hate for the ex has a problem.

You met her, there was no issue with her then build on that and stop carrying another persons beef on your head

Do you think joining him to hate her will make him love you more?

Do you have exes? Does he hate them half as much as he hates yours?

What does he think about how you feel about his ex? Is he happy that you hate her so much?

Meanwhile people lie or exaggerate to make themselves look and feel better and your boyfriend is doing a great job planting so much bile in your heart, you have no reason to hate her but based on his say so you have so much negative emotions towards her

OK I see your point. I just explained some further things to moca...

LostMermaid:


Oh... Thank you very much for this sincere and nice post. I really appreciate it.

Well; when I tried that; tried to stop him and say the woman is not faulty he said I've never been in such an abusive relationship and I don't understand. He even told me that woman attempted to punch him hit him spit on him several times. He even punched him when he was asleep and woke him up like that!

When I saw baby mama, when we were visiting the child (and I was playing with the child- NO PROBLEMS! no wicked stepmom!!); I tried to talk a couple of friendly words with her, and he reacted so angry at me afterwards; as if I crossed the line by speaking in a friendly manner with the "enemy". That's how he reacted. And said things like; oh you taking sides with her, go on then, let's end it; and all, and he started being a bit mean to me, it made me cry.

So I thought, this woman did something really really bad to him. And if I'm with him, I can't go and talk friendly with that woman and all, because it's like betraying him as well.

That's how I felt...

Please correct me if I'm wrong.

Then its you who should be worried, this man is not ready for a relationship why spend all this time and energy hating his ex and also making you hate her as a requirement of his love for you?

Its you who should be worried my dear no one else. The man has issues

LostMermaid:


Ah ok. These are questions.

I didn't answer, cause I thought you're right. We shouldn't develop negative emotions against someone about something that happened in the past based on the things someone else told us, even if that person is our future husband.

I think my problem with this woman (IN THOUGHT, not in practice though- I was nice to her when I saw her) is that, by TELLING A LIE about how she is on birth control (if it's true- but why would he lie about it!) and then TRICKING him into this, when actually he wanted to separate;she stole his chance of having his first baby with the woman he wants to spend his life with; and also HER chance of experiencing that.

And then after 1, 2 years, changing her mind and cheating on him with another man; then not showing the baby....

She caused him pain. Created such big problems in his life; having to deal with a child when he's not ready and then taking the child away from him.

I saw how she tries to keep the child away because the child has a step father now so she doesn't need him anymore. So I know he's not lying about it.

He might be lying about she tricking him; but why would he? He could have said "well it happened by accident", simply, to me.

The emboldened is some twisted shyt, like they knew you are supposedly going to be the one he would want to spend his life with, while they were still together.

Like the dude wasn't telling her, she was his all and all, like she meant nothing and he was just fecking her raw for pleasure, then after a while, will leave her to marry you, please grow up and develop some sense while at it.

LostMermaid:


OK I see your point. I just explained some further things to moca...

Seen, I responded. Your man has issues. He should handle his issues with his ex and not drag you even make you choose not to be " friendly with the enemy"

Why does he spend a lot of time hating her and passing this on to you

aisha2:


I have a permanent scar, an ex pushed me out of a moving car because I challenged him on cheating. Everyday my husband has to see that scar, we make jokes about it and laugh, he met the ex once and we were very cordial no insults no hate. I have also run into his exes and while they say hi, I greet them with a smile and we waka and joke.

Everyone has their baggage, imagine if my husband spent this much time and energy hating on an ex or I spent this much time and energy hating an ex

My friend was even married, seriously abused and divorced her first husband the ex will call and threaten her husband be very nasty and wicked to them yet when he was sick it was her husband running around to get him documents to travel for treatment, the ex even stayed in their guest house while preparing to travel.
Imagine if poster had to sit through a thanksgiving meal or Christmas meal with the ex wont she poison her?

Thats why I said that she is inmature and inexperienced
She hasnt seen life yet
So many things happen and you just have to move on, or one just holds bitterness for life.
Story plenty my sister
Will your life come to a halt?
The human mind was not built for so much bitterness . . .it will just explode

The man is the one casing the issues. If he still has issues with his ex, then he needs to go for counselling and heal himself. Relationships break up everyday.
He knows the posters weakness and I hope he doesnt incite her to do something silly, like bumping off the ex.

LostMermaid:


Ah ok. These are questions.

I didn't answer, cause I thought you're right. We shouldn't develop negative emotions against someone about something that happened in the past based on the things someone else told us, even if that person is our future husband.

I think my problem with this woman (IN THOUGHT, not in practice though- I was nice to her when I saw her) is that, by TELLING A LIE about how she is on birth control (if it's true- but why would he lie about it!) and then TRICKING him into this, when actually he wanted to separate; she stole his chance of having his first baby with the woman he wants to spend his life with; and also HER chance of experiencing that.

And then after 1, 2 years, changing her mind and cheating on him with another man; then not showing the baby....

She caused him pain. Created such big problems in his life; having to deal with a child when he's not ready and then taking the child away from him.

I saw how she tries to keep the child away because the child has a step father now so she doesn't need him anymore. So I know he's not lying about it.

He might be lying about she tricking him; but why would he? He could have said "well it happened by accident", simply, to me.

At the end of the day, all of this is irrelevant to the main gist of this thread which is the child. You do realize the child is innocent in all this right? So why should you expect the dad to take out the beef with the mom on her? What kind of parent would you be encouraging him to be? If you get married and have kids and God forbid things go south, would you like to see him maltreat your kids because he now has kids for another person?

The child is innocent. Whether the mom tricked him, cheated on him, hid the child from him or what not is irrelevant. That child will always be his first born and he has every right to love her as much as possible irrespective of what the mom did to him.

If you are so hung up on being the one to produce the first child for your husband, please find someone else. There is nothing you can to change this current situation. Your bitterness can only make matters worse. If you can't move on from him, then please get over yourself and stop wasting time and energy ruminating on pointless things.

moca:
It's very obvious d guy still hv a thing for d babymama.

The @op has been brainwashed so much by d guy that she sees nothing good about that lady.
Mark my words.
D guy still talk like a wounded lion.
To me,d problem here is d guy and not any babymama.

So @op, how well do u know ur man?

Still have a thing -you mean still keeping the anger of the things that happened in the past?


I don't know how to answer this question. From what I have observed he is a very good, sensitive, caring man.

It's hard to believe he did bad things. Maybe because of cannabis that he was using then. I don't know.

If you saw him you wouldn't believe he could have done bad things; cause he's a really nice and thoughtful guy, my family and friends love him.

freecocoa:
The emboldened is some twisted shyt, like they knew you are supposedly going to be the one he would want to spend his life with, while they were still together.

Like the dude wasn't telling her, she was his all and all, like she meant nothing and he was just fecking her raw for pleasure, then after a while, will leave her to marry you, please grow up and develop some sense while at it.

But he was trying to leave her; several times he would want to end and she would come to him crying and begging to get back. Soon after, she became pregnant! When she was claiming to be on birth control. And moreover, claimed to have not realised she's pregnant until too late. This is way too suspicious. AND even if he was telling her she was his all and etc. And even if they had been MARRIED, forcing a man into becoming a father doesn't seem right. Does it? Even if the woman is his wife.

aisha2:

Seen, I responded. Your man has issues. He should handle his issues with his ex and not drag you even make you choose not to be " friendly with the enemy"

Why does he spend a lot of time hating her and passing this on to you

OK... That's right. Thank you.

LostMermaid:


But he was trying to leave her; several times he would want to end and she would come to him crying and begging to get back. Soon after, she became pregnant! When she was claiming to be on birth control. And moreover, claimed to have not realised she's pregnant until too late. This is way too suspicious. AND even if he was telling her she was his all and etc. And even if they had been MARRIED, forcing a man into becoming a father doesn't seem right. Does it? Even if the woman is his wife.

Please realise first that whatever happened between them is their problem and not yours and its not healthy for your man to want to get you to hate her this much.
The truth is that if your man didn't spend so much energy on this hate campaign and making you believe the child was a product of deception you would feel a lot differently about the child. Thats where your own maturity comes in.
A mature woman would clearly see that this man has issues and won't agree to join into a hate journey because two people had a relationship that didn't work out which had NOTHING to do with you