LostMermaid:


"Handling" something doesn't always happen like in a second; for some maybe it does; some can lift a weight the moment they see it. But some need to try and build strength for it, until they are able to lift it.

I'm trying to build that strength.

"Way of thinking" isn't something constant in our minds; we can change our point of view, we can change our thoughts; if we want to.

And obviously, I want to, I'm trying to, that's why I'm here.

Instead of telling me "I can't handle" you could instead provide HOW one can handle, HOW you would handle, or someone else. That would be a more productive, and affective comment.

Otherwise, "you can't do this, you can't do that, move on, quit...." etc. Saying all these are the easiest thing. And they never help one grow.

My dear, some things can be learnt over time and some cannot just be. Loving someone is an example, nobody teaches you how to love someone, you either do or you don't, it's strictly ur decision. I saw ur initial post on this thread very early and didn't have a problem with you sharing ur innermost thoughts but I got bothered seeing your replies to ppl and I became even more worried after reading your previous threads on this same issue and the timeline involved. After about 5 months when you first posted this topic and got the same advice, nothing changed in your subsequent posts, instead, your thoughts have gotten worse. On this same thread, you have called the ex a slut, a witch, etc

And that's exactly what I am talking about, hearing the same advice on how to love that child a million times and for a million years will not change ur mindset. And guess what? You ain't even seen nothing yet. You are currently bothered about the love your man is showering on her and how you won't be the one to give him his first issue but what if God himself decides to also bless her above her siblings (your kids) what will you do? If she turns out more brilliant than your kids? if people just seem to have this special liking for her everywhere she turns or she is more beautiful than your kids? And so many other things you have no control over. And that's why I said if you don't have have that "initial will" in you to love her like your own, then don't just bother. Things won't get better over time!

And truly, taking a walk is not easy, never been easy but also remember that the truth has never been sweet, it is always bitter. The choice is strictly yours my dear, don't expect any miracle from an external person. Good luck!

aisha2:


You should understand that the root of her ill feelings towards the child is the stories she has been fed about her mother. She believes that if the mother had not " deceived " her boyfriend into having a baby she would be the first to have his child

I do know what she's been on about, I just don't agree that that's a how one is supposed to reason.

As an adult, one should be able to know where to draw the lines, a child's mother being 'bad' doesn't always mean the child will be same, especially in this case, this is because, OP doesn't really know this woman, it's all hearsay, she should be more concerned with finding out stuffs for herself and working with what she knows.

freecocoa:
I do know what she's been on about, I just don't agree that that's a how one is supposed to reason.

As an adult, one should be able to know where to draw the lines, a child's mother being 'bad' doesn't always mean the child will be same, especially in this case, this is because, OP doesn't really know this woman, it's all hearsay, she should be more concerned with finding out stuffs for herself and working with what she knows.

She seems young and she needs to see where it went wrong before she understands how wrong the thought process is.

Millions of Nigerians today hate a certain candidate with a passion not because he has hurt them or they have met him but because he has been so maligned and his words twisted and misrepresented to them. Thats how information works.

Telling her she is wrong clearly doesn't help she needs to see where and how she got it wrong and admit that before she can look for ways to correct her thought process.

She seems so young and impressionable

aisha2:


Read through page 7 when she said she tried to be friendly with the woman and the boyfriend was mean to her afterwards making it a we must both hate my ex campaign.

I initially thought it was her till I clearly asked the questions so I could know the source of her aggression that's when she opened up with the angle that the man keeps fuelling the hate with several stories and doesn't even allow her get a closer view of who she has been made to hate to get a different point of view

Read.

Don't think I agree he was trying to make it 'we must both hate campaign'. I also won't be comfortable if my current woman or man is getting unecessarily close to an ex especially one that I dont like. I just need them to be civil to each other and that's all.

Honestly, this lady cannot handle the man's baggage. Even the things that don't count is overwhelming her already. I know telling her to take a walk is like ill-advising her so I sincerely wish her all the very best.

freecocoa:
You've said it all, who cares about the ex here, we are talking about the child biko.

Exactly! The child is at the center of all it all.

freecocoa:
I do know what she's been on about, I just don't agree that that's a how one is supposed to reason.

As an adult, one should be able to know where to draw the lines, a child's mother being 'bad' doesn't always mean the child will be same, especially in this case, this is because, OP doesn't really know this woman, it's all hearsay, she should be more concerned with finding out stuffs for herself and working with what she knows.

I have gone through her post severally and I think her problem is not about the slut of a mother but the child, I don't think with the way she reasons, she can ever bring herself loving that child.


These are her exact post and worries.....


since he loves
me so much and wants to spend rest of his life
with me, since I'm the woman he's in love with;
then if he makes a child with me, he should love
that child more. More than the one he made with a
slutty ex by accident, who is still behaving in an
evil way.

I like that little child, but sometimes I find myself
resentful that he loves the child of such a slut so
much. And then I think; if he's gonna love my child
at the same level; then what's special about
it...What's special about having a child with the
one you love and all?

2. I also think, his child with his ex ( 4 now) might
influence the children I will have with him in a bad
way, if she came living with us. Sometimes I think
it might be nice... but sometimes I think she will be
an outsider, kind of like a secret agent; not
exactly from the family; representing her mother?
and maybe sometimes reminding her, or defending
her. Kind of like a dark cloud above the happiness
of the family. Keeping us from behaving
comfortably, or keeping us from just being the
family; like for example preventing me from telling
my children how I met the love of my life, their
father, my future husband, because she might get
jealous or something. Lots of things like that....
What do you think about this?


3. Sometimes it's also bothering me that she has a
part of him... That way she made herself "forever"
remaining in his life, that way or the other. In a
way, she still has power over him. As if, he, in a
way, partially belongs to her.

Kimoni:


Read.

Don't think I agree he was trying to make it 'we must both hate campaign'. I also won't be comfortable if my current woman or man is getting unecessarily close to an ex especially one that I dont like. I just need them to be civil to each other and that's all.

Honestly, this lady cannot handle the man's baggage. Even the things that don't count is overwhelming her already. I know telling her to take a walk is like ill-advising her so I sincerely wish her all the very best.

She was trying to be civil but he got very angry expecting that she should make the woman an enemy. I am not excusing her, I asked some questions so I could know the source of the issues and I found the source. She hates the mom why? Not because the mom offended her but because she now believes from his actions from that meeting that hating her means loving him.

Op

The baby's mother needs to keep that child away from you ( which is what you want, right?)

Since the man has proposed marriage, you are now showing your true feelings towards the girl.

I

aisha2:


She seems young and she needs to see where it went wrong before she understands how wrong the thought process is.

Millions of Nigerians today hate a certain candidate with a passion not because he has hurt them or they have met him but because he has been so maligned and his words twisted and misrepresented to them. Thats how information works.

Telling her she is wrong clearly doesn't help she needs to see where and how she got it wrong and admit that before she can look for ways to correct her thought process.

She seems so young and impressionable

I still don't totally agree with you, this has nothing to do with age, mid twenties is not a child in my book

Plus this can't be compared with politics, I don't think many Nigerians hate the said candidates solely because of what they've been told, their past deeds are there for all to see.

softysparky:

I have gone through her post severally and I think her problem is not about the slut of a mother but the child, I don't think with the way she reasons, she can ever bring herself loving that child.


These are her exact post and worries.....


since he loves
me so much and wants to spend rest of his life
with me, since I'm the woman he's in love with;
then if he makes a child with me, he should love
that child more. More than the one he made with a
slutty ex by accident, who is still behaving in an
evil way.

I like that little child, but sometimes I find myself
resentful that he loves the child of such a slut so
much. And then I think; if he's gonna love my child
at the same level; then what's special about
it...What's special about having a child with the
one you love and all?

2. I also think, his child with his ex ( 4 now) might
influence the children I will have with him in a bad
way, if she came living with us. Sometimes I think
it might be nice... but sometimes I think she will be
an outsider, kind of like a secret agent; not
exactly from the family; representing her mother?
and maybe sometimes reminding her, or defending
her. Kind of like a dark cloud above the happiness
of the family. Keeping us from behaving
comfortably, or keeping us from just being the
family; like for example preventing me from telling
my children how I met the love of my life, their
father, my future husband, because she might get
jealous or something. Lots of things like that....
What do you think about this?


3. Sometimes it's also bothering me that she has a
part of him... That way she made herself "forever"
remaining in his life, that way or the other. In a
way, she still has power over him. As if, he, in a
way, partially belongs to her.

.

Thanks for highlighting this part again. These thoughts above does not emanate from any negative stories she heard, they are simply her innermost thoughts towards the child and they will not change! They will only get worse once she entrenches herself in the man's house.


***wetin happen? Aisha don deactivate ***

softysparky:

I have gone through her post severally and I think her problem is not about the slut of a mother but the child, I don't think with the way she reasons, she can ever bring herself loving that child.


These are her exact post and worries.....


since he loves
me so much and wants to spend rest of his life
with me, since I'm the woman he's in love with;
then if he makes a child with me, he should love
that child more. More than the one he made with a
slutty ex by accident, who is still behaving in an
evil way.

I like that little child, but sometimes I find myself
resentful that he loves the child of such a slut so
much. And then I think; if he's gonna love my child
at the same level; then what's special about
it...What's special about having a child with the
one you love and all?

2. I also think, his child with his ex ( 4 now) might
influence the children I will have with him in a bad
way, if she came living with us. Sometimes I think
it might be nice... but sometimes I think she will be
an outsider, kind of like a secret agent; not
exactly from the family; representing her mother?
and maybe sometimes reminding her, or defending
her. Kind of like a dark cloud above the happiness
of the family. Keeping us from behaving
comfortably, or keeping us from just being the
family; like for example preventing me from telling
my children how I met the love of my life, their
father, my future husband, because she might get
jealous or something. Lots of things like that....
What do you think about this?


3. Sometimes it's also bothering me that she has a
part of him... That way she made herself "forever"
remaining in his life, that way or the other. In a
way, she still has power over him. As if, he, in a
way, partially belongs to her.

Thank you jare.

So many judges on this case and most of them without personal experience. Its easy to see what's inside from outside. But when inside, it becomes so difficult to carry out advices you once gave from the outside.

Lostmermaid, she's young and naïve; just like every other woman, she has this possessive instinct in her. So its perfectly normal for her to think her husband's love for her OWN children must be FIRST among equals. However, her personality, time and experience will give her wisdom in dealing with issues like this - if she wishes to learn.

Her case is more or less like a polygamous setting only that both wives do not live or will not be living in the same house. Fights for the best for ones children, jealousy, self servicing are all features of it.

Like she said, its her thoughts and may or not be a reality. And she's honest about it. There was a story of how a lady confessed to the wife of her ex husband on her she felt with the way her daughter will be treated by this new wife. She felt her daughter won't be loved and cared for the way she would have wanted. She was pained that her marriage crashed and another lady is taking her position.

But it all turned out to be very different. This new wife love the daughter like she was hers right from the very first day. Because she knew it was a major factor for the success of her relationship with her man.

We should encourage her to love his child unconditionally like she was hers. That it is normal for 'wicked' thoughts to fill our head but what's important is what we do with it: trash it or use it. We should encourage her that should she continue with this man, that child holds the key to the success or otherwise of her relationship. That even when he wants to incorporate her with his 'hate campaign' her reaction by being neutral and civil will ultimately show her maturity and places the ball in the man's court. If he leaves her for it, he has lost and she has gained tremendously!

We all crucify her for calling another woman a 'slut'. Well that's because she's now in the picture. Supposing she's just an outsider like a Human Rights Activist, or a relation to the man?

Lostmermaid, for me, I see that child as his jewel and a sort of a compensation to the 'hurt' caused by his ex. I feel he will cherish her, spoil her too and love her unconditionally. The bond will be extremely strong and not even you can break it. Attempting to do so even after marriage will be the beginning of your own problems. You should only seek to attach your own bond to theirs and strengthen it too. That was you win their hearts and trust. But all these you'll do because you WANT to. Because your heart wants to.

Sometimes, 'hate', 'negative' advices actually cause more evil!

kaboninc:
So many judges on this case and most of them without personal experience. Its easy to see what's inside from outside. But when inside, it becomes so difficult to carry out advices you once gave from the outside.

Lostmermaid, she's young and naïve; just like every other woman, she has this possessive instinct in her. So its perfectly normal for her to think her husband's love for her OWN children must be FIRST among equals. However, her personality, time and experience will give her wisdom in dealing with issues like this - if she wishes to learn.

Her case is more or less like a polygamous setting only that both wives do not live or will not be living in the same house. Fights for the best for ones children, jealousy, self servicing are all features of it.

Like she said, its her thoughts and may or not be a reality. And she's honest about it. There was a story of how a lady confessed to the wife of her ex husband on her she felt with the way her daughter will be treated by this new wife. She felt her daughter won't be loved and cared for the way she would have wanted. She was pained that her marriage crashed and another lady is taking her position.

But it all turned out to be very different. This new wife love the daughter like she was hers right from the very first day. Because she knew it was a major factor for the success of her relationship with her man.

We should encourage her to love his child unconditionally like she was hers. That it is normal for 'wicked' thoughts to fill our head but what's important is what we do with it: trash it or use it. We should encourage her that should she continue with this man, that child holds the key to the success or otherwise of her relationship. That even when he wants to incorporate her with his 'hate campaign' her reaction by being neutral and civil will ultimately show her maturity and places the ball in the man's court. If he leaves her for it, he has lost and she has gained tremendously!

We all crucify her for calling another woman a 'slut'. Well that's because she's now in the picture. Supposing she's just an outsider like a Human Rights Activist, or a relation to the man?

Lostmermaid, for me, I see that child as his jewel and a sort of a compensation to the 'hurt' caused by his ex. I feel he will cherish her, spoil her too and love her unconditionally. The bond will be extremely strong and not even you can break it. Attempting to do so even after marriage will be the beginning of your own problems. You should only seek to attach your own bond to theirs and strengthen it too. That was you win their hearts and trust. But all these you'll do because you WANT to. Because your heart wants to.

Sometimes, 'hate', 'negative' advices actually cause more evil!

.

You are 100% wrong
You should be encouraging her not to marry this man
Let her find a man without a child and there are plenty of them out there
It is the only wise thing to do and the only solution to her problem
Why would you put a child at risk?
Is the welfare of this child not more important than your attempts at making her grow some love which may or may not happen
And even if it happens any wrong move from this child will trigger the good old resentment she bore from day one
She should love herself enough not to go into a marriage with this much high jump
Love is not enough
Just like women who marry men their parents disapprove quickly find out that love is not enough

No be naija man?
He already knows her very weak spot and the strings he needs to pull to send her over the edge
The man is already manipulating her well!if he gave her a gun to shoot this woman,I am not so sure she wouldn't
All he needs in moments of disagreement is to show some extra love to this girl and her mother and she will jump off a bridge
Why would a young girl put herself in that position?

OMG! This op is evil! All this hate on one small child? You aready know she will be a bad influence? OMG!!!
I wish who ever it is you are married to sees this. God!

LostMermaid:


Thank you again for the kind post. Yours and some others really did make me feel relieved and see it from another point of view.

Do you think he was scared I would become kind of friends with baby mama and baby mama might tell me some things that he doesn't want me to know?

There is something in your personality that scares the living day lights outta me
You are extremely naive
It's almost like you have no mind of your own and are looking for validation from everywhere
I don't know how you grew up and what makes you this needy
This world is a tough place
You need to be strong and make intelligent decisions on your own and also think beyond what you have been told
Has it ever occurred to you that there could be things about this man that made his ex leave and go into the hands of another man?
Has it also occurred to you that this man would do whatever it takes to prevent you from finding that out.
That is my hunch
If you want to prove it or disprove it,go behind your ex and befriend this woman a little and find out things about him and why their relationship failed
You may be shocked at the revelations

You are not ready for marriage yet,I am sorry
Not to this man or to any other man at the moment
You have a lot of emotional growth to undergo or you will be hurt severely

Do you care to share because I suspect there is something in your upbringing that left you this way.

kaboninc:
So many judges on this case and most of them without personal experience. Its easy to see what's inside from outside. But when inside, it becomes so difficult to carry out advices you once gave from the outside.

Lostmermaid, she's young and naïve; just like every other woman, she has this possessive instinct in her. So its perfectly normal for her to think her husband's love for her OWN children must be FIRST among equals. However, her personality, time and experience will give her wisdom in dealing with issues like this - if she wishes to learn.

crap

as per your entire post- if you have to beg her to not attack the boyfriend's daughter, does that make sense to you?

why dont you beg her to step away from the man since she clearly does not like the idea of his having been with someone else before looking her way?

Lostmermaid

If you love your sanity
Do not share any further information about yourself here
Some here specialise in digging posts to be used to assassinate your character later on

You have been told the truth..move on..
Find a man with no baby drama

You don't want to..

Live with the consequences of your choice

Simple

babyosisi:


There is something in your personality that scares the living day lights outta me
You are extremely naive
It's almost like you have no mind of your own and are looking for validation from everywhere
I don't know how you grew up and what makes you this needy
This world is a tough place
You need to be strong and make intelligent decisions on your own and also think beyond what you have been told
Has it ever occurred to you that there could be things about this man that made his ex leave and go into the hands of another man?
Has it also occurred to you that this man would do whatever it takes to prevent you from finding that out.
That is my hunch
If you want to prove it or disprove it,go behind your ex and befriend this woman a little and find out things about him and why their relationship failed
You may be shocked at the revelations

You are not ready for marriage yet,I am sorry
Not to this man or to any other man at the moment
You have a lot of emotional growth to undergo or you will be hurt severely

Do you care to share because I suspect there is something in your upbringing that left you this way.

Would you do it, then? And would you then judge that man by how he behaved in his past relationship?

Let's suppose that woman said he was taking drugs (cannabis) then coming home late, acting irresponsible, and not caring enough and she felt neglected etc. etc.

Would you then, take it as the truth?

Then, you are naive.

Because she has cheated on him with a richer man; and she could be making all these up to make up for what she did. OR she could be telling the truth and my fiance might have caused her to seek another man, might have brought her to that point by his bad behavior or something.

It's not easy to judge either part.

It's better to accept it as, whatever; they were very young (19-20) and they both might have done mistakes, both might have hurt each other to cause the relationship to fail. And it's better not to dig it, and leave it as it is.

Please do not marry him. You're not suited for him if this is how you feel. You will just torment an innocent child because of your childishness. Leave his father alone and go find another father for you future perfect children

pickabeau1:
Lostmermaid

If you love your sanity
Do not share any further information about yourself here
Some here specialise in digging posts to be used to assassinate your character later on

are you for real.

someone comes here to assassinate her own character by attacking and threatening a 4 year old, and you're more concerned with the perpetrator's feelings than the defenceless child's own.

unbelievable.

you people are seriously messed up.

i just wonder what made you like this.

if you are that bothered for the lady,why not tell her to remove her posts?

Kimoni:
.

Thanks for highlighting this part again. These thoughts above does not emanate from any negative stories she heard, they are simply her innermost thoughts towards the child and they will not change! They will only get worse once she entrenches herself in the man's house.


***wetin happen? Aisha don deactivate ***

2. and 3. is actually highly relevant to what I heard about the baby mama. I was saying baby mama might influence the kid, and then the kid might affect the happiness in the family in a negative way. It's definately based on thinking this baby mama is a tricky woman who also cheated on her partner; someone with bad personality; so therefore might influence the child.


About 3; these feelings mainly emerged from thinking she TRICKED him into it. So even though he never wanted that; based on what I heard about her; she FORCED him to create a child together and have such a bond.

If it was his previous marriage and everything happened in its natural way but then their love faded and that's how they fell apart; I wouldn't be having these feelings...

I'm more OK with it now though.

Yet I'm surprised how you could think these are MY INNER THOUGHTS that were not triggered by what I heard about baby mama. It's clear they are!

kaboninc:
So many judges on this case and most of them without personal experience. Its easy to see what's inside from outside. But when inside, it becomes so difficult to carry out advices you once gave from the outside.

Lostmermaid, she's young and naïve; just like every other woman, she has this possessive instinct in her. So its perfectly normal for her to think her husband's love for her OWN children must be FIRST among equals. However, her personality, time and experience will give her wisdom in dealing with issues like this - if she wishes to learn.

Her case is more or less like a polygamous setting only that both wives do not live or will not be living in the same house. Fights for the best for ones children, jealousy, self servicing are all features of it.

Like she said, its her thoughts and may or not be a reality. And she's honest about it. There was a story of how a lady confessed to the wife of her ex husband on her she felt with the way her daughter will be treated by this new wife. She felt her daughter won't be loved and cared for the way she would have wanted. She was pained that her marriage crashed and another lady is taking her position.

But it all turned out to be very different. This new wife love the daughter like she was hers right from the very first day. Because she knew it was a major factor for the success of her relationship with her man.

We should encourage her to love his child unconditionally like she was hers. That it is normal for 'wicked' thoughts to fill our head but what's important is what we do with it: trash it or use it. We should encourage her that should she continue with this man, that child holds the key to the success or otherwise of her relationship. That even when he wants to incorporate her with his 'hate campaign' her reaction by being neutral and civil will ultimately show her maturity and places the ball in the man's court. If he leaves her for it, he has lost and she has gained tremendously!

We all crucify her for calling another woman a 'slut'. Well that's because she's now in the picture. Supposing she's just an outsider like a Human Rights Activist, or a relation to the man?

Lostmermaid, for me, I see that child as his jewel and a sort of a compensation to the 'hurt' caused by his ex. I feel he will cherish her, spoil her too and love her unconditionally. The bond will be extremely strong and not even you can break it. Attempting to do so even after marriage will be the beginning of your own problems. You should only seek to attach your own bond to theirs and strengthen it too. That was you win their hearts and trust. But all these you'll do because you WANT to. Because your heart wants to.

Sometimes, 'hate', 'negative' advices actually cause more evil!

Very well said.

LostMermaid:


Would you do it, then? And would you then judge that man by how he behaved in his past relationship?

Let's suppose that woman said he was taking drugs (cannabis) then coming home late, acting irresponsible, and not caring enough and she felt neglected etc. etc.

Would you then, take it as the truth?

Then, you are naive.

Because she has cheated on him with a richer man; and she could be making all these up to make up for what she did. OR she could be telling the truth and my fiance might have caused her to seek another man, might have brought her to that point by his bad behavior or something.

It's not easy to judge either part.

It's better to accept it as, whatever; they were very young (19-20) and they both might have done mistakes, both might have hurt each other to cause the relationship to fail. And it's better not to dig it, and leave it as it is.

You have been asking these questions since October and this is February and you are still unburdening your heart looking for validation to your evil feelings
Ngwa kontinuu
About 90% of the females and males here have told you the hard truth,it's up to you what you decide
Not my business really

tpiah99:



I am seriously messed up.

i just wonder what made me like this creating inane posts up and down NL to address my need for attention

no wonder

tpiah99:


are you for real.

someone comes here to assassinate her own character by attacking and threatening a 4 year old, and you're more concerned with the perpetrator's feelings than the defenceless child's own.

unbelievable.

you people are seriously messed up.

i just wonder what made you like this.

if you are that bothered for the lady,why not tell her to remove her posts?

ATTACKING THREATENING A FOUR YEAR OLD?

What's wrong with you for God's sake? I SAID I AM BOTHERED BY THESE THOUGHTS that SOMETIMES cross my mind. Do you know what that means; that means I'm scared these thoughts might grow and affect how I behave; and I'm aware that I must kill those thoughts? How on earth this sounds HARMING to the child? I am actually VERY CONCERNED about it; I do not want to act like a bad person; I am willing to replace these thoughts that crossed my mind and scared me; with positive and hopeful, loving thoughts and there you are saying what!

I SAID I DON'T HAVE THESE THOUGHTS when I see the child. AND; I see the child rarely but when I do, I have a lovely relationship with the child. I also stated she called me mummy; this must mean I treated her RIGHT; doesn't it? Children understand well who treats them right who do not.

God, you're extremely judging; by missing a lot of other perspectives to the issue.

babyosisi:


You have been asking these questions since October and this is February and you are still unburdening your heart looking for validation to your evil feelings
Ngwa kontinuu
About 90% of the females and males here have told you the hard truth,it's up to you what you decide
Not my business really

"VALIDATION FOR EVIL FEELINGS"

FOR GOD'S SAKE, I SAID I WAS BOTHERED BY THESE THOUGHTS HOW ON EARTH DOES THAT SOUND LIKE LOOKING FOR VALIDATION TO YOU?

IF YOU REFUSE TO UNDERSTAND MY INTENTION WAS TO FIX THESE THOUGHTS; AND THEY DO NOT REFLECT MY BEHAVIOR OR ACTIONS; IT'S YOU WHO IS EVIL THEN. AND WHAT'S WORSE. YOU AREN'T AWARE OF IT.

ACTING ALL LIKE AN ANGEL AND SAINT, COMING AND ACCUSING ME, WHEN I HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG, AND HAVE GOOD INTENTIONS TO REPLACE WHAT I THINK WITH POSITIVE THOUGHTS, CONGRATULATIONS, NOW THAT YOU HAVE ACCUSED ME, IGNORING COMPLETELY LOTS OF OTHER PERSPECTIVES TO IT; DO YOU FEEL LIKE A BETTER PERSON?

I BET YOUR HEART IS FILLED WITH LOVE AND TOLERANCE.

.....NOT!!!!!!!!

babyosisi:


You have been asking these questions since October and this is February and you are still unburdening your heart looking for validation to your evil feelings
Ngwa kontinuu
About 90% of the females and males here have told you the hard truth,it's up to you what you decide
Not my business really

She seems not to be satisfied with all the response here. She has been running around cussing people who do not support her nut thoughts. Maybe she wants us to tell her to kill the innocent child and marry the guy peacefully.
she finds it hard to believe those her thought are odd and suicidal.

LostMermaid:


ATTACKING THREATENING A FOUR YEAR OLD?

What's wrong with you for God's sake? I SAID I AM BOTHERED BY THESE THOUGHTS that SOMETIMES cross my mind. Do you know what that means; that means I'm scared these thoughts might grow and affect how I behave; and I'm aware that I must kill those thoughts? How on earth this sounds HARMING to the child? I am actually VERY CONCERNED about it; I do not want to act like a bad person; I am willing to replace these thoughts that crossed my mind and scared me; with positive and hopeful, loving thoughts and there you are saying what!

I SAID I DON'T HAVE THESE THOUGHTS when I see the child. AND; I see the child rarely but when I do, I have a lovely relationship with the child. I also stated she called me mummy; this must mean I treated her RIGHT; doesn't it? Children understand well who treats them right who do not.

God, you're extremely judging; by missing a lot of other perspectives to the issue.

if these thoughts are crossing your mind, then you should not be with a baby father.

How many times must people tell you this?

Are there no single men you can date?

everybody is judging now, according to you, yet 90% of your posts are directed towards a baby mama who you say "prevented your boyfriend from having his first whatever with you". You called her all sorts of names, rained hatred on her child, etc etc.

this is seriously messed up, I'm surprised you dont see it.

why not learn to live and let live, your boyfriend or man friend has already had the child (was this not before he met you, or was it after?), all your wishing and thoughts will not change that. Why not plan your way forward from there if indeed you must marry this man by force.

zeezahbee:
She seems not to be satisfied with all the response here. She has been running around cussing people who do not support her nut thoughts. Maybe she wants us to tell her to kill the innocent child and marry the guy peacefully.
she finds it hard to believe those her thought are odd and suicidal.

How many times did I write I am not proud of these thoughts and I want to CHANGE these "thoughts" (and thoughts are not always equal to actions!). And I DO have a lovely relationship with the kid. AND I treated the baby mama politely. and etc. etc. etc. Did you bump your head somewhere hard when you were a child? Cause I suspect you understand what you read properly.

OR;

That child is innocent yes you are right; but you are not.

Don't reflect your twisted psychology and hate on your own stepmom on me.

tpiah99:




if these thoughts are crossing your mind, then you should not be with a baby father.

How many times must people tell you this?

Are there no single men you can date?

everybody is judging now, according to you, yet 90% of your posts are directed towards a baby mama who you say "prevented your boyfriend from having his first whatever with you". You called her all sorts of names, rained hatred on her child, etc etc.

this is seriously messed up, I'm surprised you dont see it.

why not learn to live and let live, your boyfriend or man friend has already had the child (was this not before he met you, or was it after?), all your wishing and thoughts will not change that. Why not plan your way forward from there if indeed you must marry this man by force.

Not everyone is judging I've read plenty of comments that are written with understanding and a positive, productive attitude. AND;

THANKS TO THEM;

I changed my view on the baby mama.

Also added a note on this on the main post, saying it was wrong to view her bad, based on what he told me, as it's past time; and noone can tell 100% what really happened.

I think you didn't read many things; and you based your comment on a few things you came across on the main post making quickly a judgement.

LostMermaid:


Not everyone is judging I've read plenty of comments that are written with understanding and a positive, productive attitude. AND;

THANKS TO THEM;

I changed my view on the baby mama.

Also added a note on this on the main post, saying it was wrong to view her bad, based on what he told me, as it's past time; and noone can tell 100% what really happened.

Lostmermaid, what happens if you discover unequivocally that the babymama is as bad as you were told. What then?

Maybe we should throw a pity party.