No need to make a move all u need is prayer and beside or husband loves u and don't make him to choose btw u and his family

There's more to this story , there is no way a husband will treat his wife like that. Even if the sisters wronged you in any way, he can't fully support them or even start ignoring you just like that. It's up to you to step up and save your marriage. Try to talk to him, accept his sisters too, no matter what! just ignore their troubles.

Adaeze003:


Uhm... ehm...

No man will turn against his immediate family for "a woman". First off Mr, is she just "a woman" to him?

I saw you quoting head of the house and submission so i'm guessing you're a Christian? Now, guys often rush of to scream submit but forget the part where Jesus said, for this reason, a man shall leave his Family(what you call immediate family) and be one(yes, one!!!) with his wife!!! Oga, did someone tear out this part of your bible

Again, a wife's opinion doesn't count? Like, what millennium are you from Then What the hell is she doing in that house? Marriage has suddenly become slavery? I pity your wife to be sha.

Now, to your question, why the hell will I go to live with my brother and his wife and create problems? If I get to stay with my bro, I will know my damn place! His wife comes before me!

Nothing in this post suggests that the man or woman is to blame but you niggaz will always blame the woman no matter what.

Imagine a grown azz man keeping malice with the mother of his kids and ya'll are here talking rubbish. Mtcheew.

ROTFL.... Wey! U used d word 'niggaz'.

Tony braxton is a niga,so wht do u knw abt it. lol.

We are not spewing kappish. U hear! Are u a lawyer? Or probably an advocate of gender equality, which is a sure blind alley. Though ur points are well articulated, am afraid dey are biased in favour of women. When a woman get married is customary she forgets her root, because d society accept it.

But a man can never forget his root 'inclusive are his siblings,parents.., When a woman bcomes a rev. Sister, she practically spend d rest of her life in the convent, but even as an ordained priest, a man still shoulders d responsibility of his immediate family. Am not trying to debase women in any sense, it's just that women have failed to appreciate & accept their position.

u say u won't visit ur elder bro, I'll tell him for future reference. but u indeed sound like a control freak, & frm wht I can deduce frm ur quote, u won't even allow ur hubby's mum or dad to live in ur home. I fear u o!

Learn to respect ur man, submit urself, believing me u'll be d final beneficiary.
Are u married?

klark3:

I honestly don't get this.

Is it wrong for her hubby siblings or her siblings to live with them? When u love someone I believe that love should extend to ur partner's siblings & even frnds. How can a woman claim to love a man, yet be poles apart with his siblings, likewise the man.

U're implicitly saying u won't accommodate ur hubby siblings? It's saddening women are inclined to perceive things frm their own perspective, forgetting that a man is the head, the opinion of the wife doesn't really count, the man has the final say.

Adaeze how will u feel, if u go on a visit to ur elder bro place & he refuse to allow u in, literally because of his wife? Like I always tell ladies, the way to a man's hrt & family is not through his stomach, but submissiveness. A woman can subjugate the most hard hearted dude, by being submissive.

@op make peace with his siblings & everything will be alright. No reasonable man will turn against his immediate family for a woman.u can confirm frm those that tried it in the past, they didn't end up well...

The wife is his immediate family, nobody comes before her.
The bible says cleeve to your wife and let no one put assunder.
She comes before mother, father, sister, brothers, uncles, aunts, nieces, nephews and cousins.

khia:



The wife is his immediate family, nobody comes before her.
The bible says cleve to your wife and let no one put assunder.
She comes before mother, father, sister, brothers, uncles, aunts, nieces, nephews and cousins.

............. .. ride on sista

lanre4:
Hi everyone,i need your advice,pls don't insult anyone here, make a comment if you can.thks
Am married and I have 2 kids,a boy and a girl,my husband's sister and his cousin(a girl) live with us,our marriage is abt 5 years now,the issue is he prefers his sisters to me,whenever they do something wrong and I complain he is always supporting them,if I report any of them,the next thing he will do is not talking to me again,this has been going on for a while now,he has stopped being intimate with me since we had our 2nd baby 6months ago.I had an issue wit the sister sometime ago and my husband supported her and didn't talk to me for days,in d process I started seeing blood cos I was pregnant then I called my mum and was talking to her on d phone crying,my husband walked in saw me crying and didn't even ask me why I was crying,he was not moved at all,thk God I didn't lose d pregnancy. I am loosing my mind,i don't want to sin against God and my body what do u think I should do?do you think he loves me?

Your case is not strange to me.

My advice will always be:
Ask yourself questions, are you unnecessarily trying to be hard on his sisters? Maybe to prove you are the madam of the house. If you are, please stop because you are already on a losing streak!

Become friends with them if it is possible. This is your only way out else you'll live like a stranger in your own home. When you get really closer to them, the respect you desire will come. Then gradually exert your authority over them IF they are younger than you and they will go along because they now trust you.
They will start seeing you like their big sister.

How would you know when to start exerting control?
When they start telling you their secrets. Your sound advice will do the magic!

After reading thru ur post, it came to mind that I once went thru a similar scenario with my eldest bro. I and one of my brothers moved to the UK to stay with him, his wife and 3 kids. Due to d size of d house the wife felt uncomfortable with us being in the house. So it caused a lot of friction. And she made my bro turned against us, due to constant complaints about us.

My advice to u is to apply wisdom, pray and dnt report anything to him. Also, ur extended family living with you will definitely create friction, so just try and keep up with them, and if u have to confront them about anything, do it with love and care. Dnt fight them as its not the right thing to do. It can break ur home. Lastly dnt forget to pray before u say anything to them...

khia:



The wife is his immediate family, nobody comes before her.
The bible says cleve to your wife and let no one put assunder.
She comes before mother, father, sister, brothers, uncles, aunts, nieces, nephews and cousins.

Your quote is indefensible.

This is quite specious, I think u didn't phrase it properly, let no man put asunder, that I knw. But the wife comes before the hubby's mum while she is still alive is wht I don't get. Do u knw the meaning of that word 'mother' @all? No love on earth equals that which your mum have for u.

Often times I see stories of women deserting or mistreating their hubby because of petty problems, & these men run to their mum for solace. No mother will desert her own son for any problem in the world, if job mother was still alive in the bible, she wouldn't have deserted job.

I don't knw abt fathers, because some men can be very callous, but no good wife on this planet earth can supplant the position of a good mother.

npriscilla:
No need to make a move all u need is prayer and beside or husband loves u and don't make him to choose btw u and his family

Prayer has substituted brain work in Nigeria

klark3:

ROTFL.... Wey! U used d word 'niggaz'.

Tony braxton is a niga,so wht do u knw abt it. lol.

We are not spewing kappish. U hear! Are u a lawyer? Or probably an advocate of gender equality, which is a sure blind alley. Though ur points are well articulated, am afraid dey are biased in favour of women. When a woman get married is customary she forgets her root, because d society accept it.

But a man can never forget his root 'inclusive are his siblings,parents.., When a woman bcomes a rev. Sister, she practically spend d rest of her life in the convent, but even as an ordained priest, a man still shoulders d responsibility of his immediate family. Am not trying to debase women in any sense, it's just that women have failed to appreciate & accept their position.

u say u won't visit ur elder bro, I'll tell him for future reference. but u indeed sound like a control freak, & frm wht I can deduce frm ur quote, u won't even allow ur hubby's mum or dad to live in ur home. I fear u o!

Learn to respect ur man, submit urself, believing me u'll be d final beneficiary.
Are u married?

I just hope you'll be pleased if you're treated the same way? Like if she puts her family before you? After all, you aint related to her by blood. If you won't be pleased then you're just another hypocrite. Anyway, that's what most dudes are known for.

Again, control freak ke? Just coz I told you the truth? Typical of dudes to use terms like that when they lack the ability to hold a reasonable/intelligent convo. I guess that's why you assumed I said I won't visit my bro as well . you should read my post over and over again.

And by the way, respect is reciprocal and not one sided.

lanre4:
Hi everyone,i need your advice,pls don't insult anyone here, make a comment if you can.thks
Am married and I have 2 kids,a boy and a girl,my husband's sister and his cousin(a girl) live with us,our marriage is abt 5 years now,the issue is he prefers his sisters to me,whenever they do something wrong and I complain he is always supporting them,if I report any of them,the next thing he will do is not talking to me again,this has been going on for a while now,he has stopped being intimate with me since we had our 2nd baby 6months ago.I had an issue wit the sister sometime ago and my husband supported her and didn't talk to me for days,in d process I started seeing blood cos I was pregnant then I called my mum and was talking to her on d phone crying,my husband walked in saw me crying and didn't even ask me why I was crying,he was not moved at all,thk God I didn't lose d pregnancy. I am loosing my mind,i don't want to sin against God and my body what do u think I should do?do you think he loves me?

your in it already so fix it
how

pray it changes a lot
fast its a catalyst that supports prayer
have faith without it prayer and fasting are a waste

be patient..............................its the virtue of gods

then do the human stuff
sit down review the bad times and what happened dont see their faults just highlight yours isolate them and write them down then consciously work on stopping/changing them

give these time and keep at it

if things dont change then let me know

khia:



The wife is his immediate family, nobody comes before her.
The bible says cleve to your wife and let no one put assunder.
She comes before mother, father, sister, brothers, uncles, aunts, nieces, nephews and cousins.

Khia, to me, mother comes before her.... A wife can kill the husband, divorce the husband, steal his money, etc but a mother won't do such.. You don't know how most of our Nigerian girls reason. Girls that pray for the husband's mother to die before they marry him..

klark3:

Your quote is indefensible.

This is quite specious, I think u didn't phrase it properly, let no man put asunder, that I knw. But the wife comes before the hubby's mum while she is still alive is wht I don't get. Do u knw the meaning of that word 'mother' @all? No love on earth equals that which your mum have for u.

Often times I see stories of women deserting or mistreating their hubby because of petty problems, & these men run to their mum for solace. No mother will desert her own son for any problem in the world, if job mother was still alive in the bible, she wouldn't have deserted job.

I don't knw abt fathers, because some men can be very callous, but no good wife on this planet earth can supplant the position of a good mother.

Your head dey there, that's what I keep saying... Mother first, then the rest

diddydiva:
why will you allow your husband's family to live with you at all.
from your post I guess the family is not really into you either.

my advice: stop reporting your in laws , call your husband and settle matters with him. Win his heart like when u first met and when he is finally yours stand your ground that no more living with relatives

Note: the last process should be done probably six months after settling the issue



I hope this works

thus it's absurd, why shouldn't a husband relative live with him?. if any freaking woman can't stand living with my brothers, she would Bleep out of the house.

nonsense

dayosaurus:



thus it's absurd, why shouldn't a husband relative live with him?. if any freaking woman can't stand living with my brothers, she would Bleep out of the house.

nonsense

gosh!!!

what a mentality!!!

so you mean your relatives are so dependent on you
hmmmmm

any guy that will allow his relative to leave with him will Bleep out of my life

simple!!!

lanre4:
Hi everyone,i need your advice,pls don't insult anyone here, make a comment if you can.thks
Am married and I have 2 kids,a boy and a girl,my husband's sister and his cousin(a girl) live with us,our marriage is abt 5 years now,the issue is he prefers his sisters to me,whenever they do something wrong and I complain he is always supporting them,if I report any of them,the next thing he will do is not talking to me again,this has been going on for a while now,he has stopped being intimate with me since we had our 2nd baby 6months ago.I had an issue wit the sister sometime ago and my husband supported her and didn't talk to me for days,in d process I started seeing blood cos I was pregnant then I called my mum and was talking to her on d phone crying,my husband walked in saw me crying and didn't even ask me why I was crying,he was not moved at all,thk God I didn't lose d pregnancy. I am loosing my mind,i don't want to sin against God and my body what do u think I should do?do you think he loves me?

he doesn't love u anymore. live for your children, use him as money resource and when children on their feet start living your life with new man. don't have stupid hope-nothing is gonna change in your marriage. simple.

Tymax:


So they can stay with their brother again? Na wa o.

yes they can't.!!!

the wives suffer it most

my dear I've been there before,I'm living with my hobby's sisters and his younger brother,it was so difficult and if I complain to husband,he will be angry with me just like urs.until a friend of mine told me to get close to them.so what I need I asked them for forgiveness, and I started holding early morning prayers with them.u can try it.don't allow pride get in the way.Be matured.

diddydiva:

yes they can't.!!!

the wives suffer it most

They are family. You can't keep a man away from his family. That's wrong.

Tymax:

They are family. You can't keep a man away from his family. That's wrong.

Don't blame us blame God!!!

cos he said: a man shall leave his father and mother and will be with his wife.

not taking his brother or old relatives with him , huh?

diddydiva:

gosh!!!

what a mentality!!!

so you mean your relatives are so dependent on you
hmmmmm

any guy that will allow his relative to leave with him will Bleep out of my life

simple!!!

great. so you would forsake your family that you've known all your life because of someone u just just met

dayosaurus:


great. so you would forsake your family that you've known all your life because of someone u just just met

Not living with you does not mean you are forsaking them mister

there are other ways of taking care of them

diddydiva:

Not living with you does not mean you are forsaking them mister

there are other ways of taking care of them

and when the need of staying with you arises, what would you do?

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diddydiva:

Don't blame us blame God!!!

cos he said: a man shall leave his father and mother and will be with his wife.

not taking his brother or old relatives with him , huh?

Lol. You win. That's a knockout.

Tymax:

Lol. You win. That's a knockout.

I don't argue fairly


how u doing

diddydiva:

I don't argue fairly


how u doing

Lol.
I'm fine dear. And you?

Tymax:

Lol.
I'm fine dear. And you?

am very okay

passionate88:
Khia, to me, mother comes before her.... A wife can kill the husband, divorce the husband, steal his money, etc but a mother won't do such.. You don't know how most of our Nigerian girls reason. Girls that pray for the husband's mother to die before they marry him..

No one said to stop loving your family but the bible says when you take a wife you found a good thing, it is up to you to choose wisely.
When you decide to get married you have to do it with the mindset that this is the person I am choosing to be by my side for the rest of my life and will always come first in my life, so again choose wisely.
I hope your father put your mother first, if he did learn from him , if he didn't learn from him and be a better husband to your wife. Would you like to come last in your wife's life?



PS.... I am not saying the wife can do no wrong because she is not perfect but you have to make a united front (togetherness) in front of others and if she did something wrong, confront her privately. My two cents.

Have you actually tried to be friends with his family ?You don’t have to be best friends but you can be cordial and pick your battles.
The only person who can answer your question is your husband talk to him BUT if you ask be prepared for the response it might not be what you want to hear.

traware:
I dey laugh!! So you want the man to turn his back on his immediate family for some woman who can easily be replaced?...'You can kill for any woman anyday'?You can actually kill another person and ruin YOUR life for ANY woman anyday?Sir,do you really believe any woman can kill for you?I always wonder when you fantasy-dwelling Nigerian males will realize no woman...I repeat...NO WOMAN gives a flying fucck about any of you and only look-out for themselves.Its all about their interests...THEIR INTERESTS and not yours.If the OPs' husband had been taking HER side rather than his sisters' there would have been no problem but as he usually takes his sisters' side,she is now asking if he 'loves' her.Typical,if a man is a being a fool/mugu/mumu for a woman,she gives him high-praises,if he isn't, she starts calling him the new Adolf Hitler.Wake up from your slumber esse

On point.
u cant go against someone u grew up with and knew for 30yrs to support someone u met 5 yrs ago..
NEVER .
family first .always