guy Think about it,its is not a crime if you desire your love that way, but make sure you complete you love story

Okija_juju:

Hi Toyosi

Well I am not judging, just saying that atimes the past can come back and bite you in the future.

Step kids can be horrible.

Wasup babe,

I hear ya too, but i believe in second chances and new beginnings as well!!

we all know how ramant and popular the rate of divorce has become, hence the high rate of single parents

so do we then say they do not have a chance at love again??

a chance at happiness??

And finally a chance at moving on in life??

Let us not be stereotypical oo!

In as much as we might no want to be stereotypical, we as human cant help it given past experiences.

They say whoever had a mad man kill his mom, If he sees a mechanic he would run away. Is that stereotyping?

I am sure you dont pray you marry a divorcee with kids because of the excess baggage.

Relationships have their own inherent problems and you might not want to add anything external to it.

Niajas and their big mouth
I don't understand why it's so much a big deal to marry a lady who has one or two kids either from a previous marriage or out of wed luck.I think it has to do with one's level of understanding it's just suprising that this same men are the ones stuck with Big fat shaniqua who has five kids all because they want papers but they would rather be little their own sister because she is single with a child.
I have been married for years now to my soulmate.She had a son as a young naive girl.Her baby daddy bluntly rejected the child.Today the boy is a smart,intelligent young man.We have our own kids and they are all getting along well.
If you can't handle that level of maturity there is nothing wrong with that.It just that I hate to read what all this our so called niaja brothers post here and the honest truth is that their life is nothing to write about.
What a shame.
Like I said there is nothing we can't handle as humans it's just learning to deal with it and become better ppl.

if you are a Muslim this issue does not concern you much, as a Muslim the issue does not affect you much, but for educated fellow or a Christian or self religion practice this issue concern them alots

if you love the woman,and the woman also like you, but the kids hate you, ask you self what are you going to do,

loving a single mother, you have to understand this,its is so complicated ,three people cant start internal love, only two people can start internal love,

that is why bible said only two join two,



its is only pretty much when the single mother baby is still small,maybe months old,or Just a year old, you can still try to living without much stress, and the woman must let the baby know you are the right father for he or she

not that single mother does not deserve love, but think twice , most parent dont pray for their children to date someone who has marry and have a kids b4,you know why? even you too cant

Get a life,if u can not,do not discourage other guys,a woman with a child is a sigh dat she is reproductive and she is far better than a single lady that has done alot of abortions.

WHY IS THIS TOPIC ONLY ABOUT SINGLE MOTHERS


What of single fathers? Or are you saying that they don't exist?

If you love the person, go for it. I would marry a single parent. Sure, it comes with it's problems, but what other relationship doesn't? And if any man chooses Me over his child, I won't even consider marrying the person.

tpia i love your comments. you have a sound mind.

the problem we often have is: "what will people say"

but there is absolutely nothing wrong with dating and marrying a single mother. she has shown responsibility by keeping her baby.

the only reason why any man would avoid it is either he is scared of what people will say, in which case he is still a boy. Or, he claims to be perfect and i can guarantee you there are no perfect gals out there for you.

sammyzacks:

tpia i love your comments. you have a sound mind.

the problem we often have is: "what will people say"

but there is absolutely nothing wrong with dating and marrying a single mother. she has shown responsibility by keeping her baby.

the only reason why any man would avoid it is either he is scared of what people will say, in which case he is still a boy. Or, he claims to be perfect and i can guarantee you there are no perfect gals out there for you.

some people are just avoiding baby daddy drama.

.

sammyzacks:

tpia i love your comments. you have a sound mind.

the problem we often have is: "what will people say"

but there is absolutely nothing wrong with dating and marrying a single mother. she has shown responsibility by keeping her baby.

the only reason why any man would avoid it is either he is scared of what people will say, in which case he is still a boy. Or, he claims to be perfect and i can guarantee you there are no perfect gals out there for you.

How do you know that the problem is often about what people will say? Have you considered that the person may be avoiding what may happen with drama associated with another person's child in the home?

the fact that she kept her baby is not necessarily a sign of responsibilty. It could also be seen as a sign of the fact that he/she is reckless. OR that he/she is so bad that the other party to the child would not want to have anything to do with him/her.

My point is that there is no right or wrong here. It's all about personal perception. I will however never advise anyone I know to marry a person who has a child from another person. There are enough good single people there than to get involved with potential drama later in your marriage.

You are right that no one is perfect but I believe that it's better to try and avoid potential problems than to think that you can go head in and weather the storm of baby drama and the complexities involved therein.

.

tpia:

I'm sure you're well aware of the problems with generalization.

I have friends whose parents were initially single mothers yet went on to have happy and fulfilling married lives and whose husbands did an excellent job with all the children, including the one who wasnt his biological child.

Some people with no sexual experience at all before marriage, still get divorced. A relationship will or wont work depending on the character of the couple involved.

Just because someone is a single mother doesnt mean she's a worse person than others who arent.

No one has said every single parent is one way or another.

I also know quite a number of people who married single parents and are the worse for it. Constant problems with the other child, etc

I just can never honestly advise anyone I know to marry a single parent. . . except where the person has become desperate. Are there no good single people on earth again?

.

No one says anyone should not date single parents. I see you're all about single mothers. . . not necessarily fathers.

I dont care if anyone decides to date a hyena. I only stated that I wont advise anyone I know to marry a single parent. chikenna

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tpia:

the OP specified single mothers. Read the first post on this thread.

And as typical Nigerian, I'm sure you're of the school of thought which considers single fatherhood a minor issue compared to single mothers.

So now you're calling single mothers hyenas? Better mind your attitude before your daughter or sister turns into one.

Is it a trait of people who feature on this forum? You are already sure of my school of thought!

Also, i stated very clearly that I was talking about single parenthood, yet you have nailed it down to the female sex. is there something else involved here which you are not revealing yet? You seem to be able to give me credit unduly, especially with the claim that I am calling single mother hyenas.

Disadvantages:

1.You will be dealing with her ex until that child is grown.

2. okafor's law may apply with her ex anytime you are not home and he comes over for a visit

3.The child may turn against you anytime after all you are not his father.

4. Any appropriate punishment you give the child may not go down well with the mother or biological father.

5. His/her jealous father can accuse of of anything to see you thrown in jail and his child may swing his way in court. Blood is thicker than water.


Advantages:

1. At least you are sure the woman is fertile and capable of having babies

2. She'll appreciate you more

3. Most baby mamas come with little drama because they know their package is a full house already.

.

May be na your baby daddy wey knock you up behind his car dey type.

Why the so much uproar over single mothers? The topic was Disavantages Of Marrying [b]Someone [/b]Who Has A Baby but "what a fleeting surprise" the content of the post is targeted at women. If you can't marry them, do us a favor by not discouraging others that have laid down their biases to do so.

Why the so much uproar over single mothers? The topic was Disavantages Of Marrying Someone Who Has A Baby but "what a fleeting surprise" the content of the post is targeted at women. If you can't marry them, do us a favor by not discouraging others that have laid down their biases to do so.

That na because na single mothers dey rain. Single fathers no plenty and dem no need your signature to get a woman to mother their children. Trust me, it's more difficult for single women to catch a guy than single men unless the single mother has extraordinary qualities which includes fame, power and money.

single mother dey reign? for where? if only guys would zip it up eh

single mother dey reign? for where? if only guys would zip it up eh

Not in every case. Some women are single mothers because they either cheated on their husband/bf or they lost him to the cold hands of death.

baby mama expert has again dipped into his vast fountain of knowledge and sprinkled us liberally with his gumdrops of "wisdom".

stillwater:

Why the so much uproar over single mothers? The topic was Disavantages Of Marrying [b]Someone [/b]Who Has A Baby but "what a fleeting surprise" the content of the post is targeted at women. If you can't marry them, do us a favor by not discouraging others that have laid down their biases to do so.

Its the women who continuously make it a woman thing

JustGood:

No one says anyone should not date single parents. I see you're all about single mothers. . . not necessarily fathers.

I dont care if anyone decides to date a hyena. I only stated that I wont advise anyone I know to marry a single parent. chikenna

tpia:

the OP specified single mothers. Read the first post on this thread.

And as typical Nigerian, I'm sure you're of the school of thought which considers single fatherhood a minor issue compared to single mothers.

So now you're calling single mothers hyenas? Better mind your attitude before your daughter or sister turns into one.

read for yourself

.

Guruofast,

I guess all this will apply to all men who has got a child outside wedlock abi.

It takes a deep and mature person to be able to handle that kind of situation if

he really and truly loves the woman. I think its the way the man handles the situation

that will make the woman make certain decisions. Some men can be very horrible, to a child that is not theirs

Not for shallow people.

chikito1:

Guruofast,

I guess all this will apply to all men who has got a child outside wedlock abi.

It takes a deep and mature person to be able to handle that kind of situation if

he really and truly loves the woman. I think its the way the man handles the situation

that will make the woman make certain decisions. Some men can be very horrible, to a child that is not theirs

Not for shallow people.

your opinion

It takes an intelligent person to think forward in any relationship. It would be daft of anyone to get entangled knowing that there are probable obstacles on the way. Only people without knowledge will do that.

Why should anyone go through a dangerous and dark alleyway when there is a well lit and busy street leading to the same destination?

.

tpia:

Once again, being a single mother doesnt make someone more dangerous and dark than a non-single mother.

neither should it do same for a single father.

There are many more potential pitfalls in marrying a single parent than there are in marrying a single with no baggage. Nothing really is guaranteed in life in terms of these things but it is foolhardy to go into dangerous territory if there is less dangerous territory in which to foray.

If there are no more unbaggaged singles, then there would be no choice than to take the risks. . . just like in UK where most people have become baggaged and so the others have little choice but to accept them. Even many people in the UK would rather have single partners but in open discussions, they dont voice such.