.

Dont be carried away by ur emotions.4get about him lest u land ursef into trouble.babes sha.

My dear thats not ur ex (lover boy ) there thats the devil in disguise whatever your husband has done to you is not an excuse even if he cheated on you, most men do it you have to forgive him, likewise he is also expected to forgive you if u make mistakes. Marriage is not rosy even if you marry dis ur ex. Be very careful he might appear to love you now but later it might be a different story, Commit your present marriage into Gods hands and it will be sweeter than honey forever.

Dont mind his campaign by going to meet your parents no be today e dey happen.

Its not easy but do the right thing o. Your baby and husband. What makes you think that guy is as perfect as you think, dating is different from marriage o! shine your eyes.

bitches with there little wahalah.

What happened to rominiyi?
Did she marry her ex?

I stumbled on this post yesterday and it really hurts me that i was not a Nairalander when these dramas were happening ! see ladies in their chameleon like acts eh ? and some friends will still abuse me because i told them i am not going to get married ? WOMEN ! WOMEN !! WOMEN !!! hmmmmm. Imagine a married woman disgracing her sorry self on a public forum , NONSENSE

To us all:

I think I can understand what this woman is saying here. In the beginning, you should not have married your husband if you knew you were NOT in love with him.

Although, I am not married yet, I have felt something strong for my Ex. One thing led to another and I met her oneday. Though she is now married, she told me that she was feeling the same way (hers was even much stronger). Such things do happen!

However, I was made up to kill those feelings (It was in her interest). I did not want her to lose her Marriage because of me. In the end, we were both happy that we did not err.

Rominiyi's case is not exceptional. I've been there before.

My Advice:

Rominiyi, I understand the way you feel now, but the best thing I think you should do is to CONCENTRATE ON YOUR MARRIAGE. It's the best choice you can make now.

Trying talking to a close Female Friend of yours about it. Sometimes, we feel better when we tell trusted people about the burdens we bear.

Another Alternative:
Also, have you tried to work on your Marriage? It could be that your mind is playing tricks on you - presenting this guy as an escape route to the so-called problems you might be facing.

You might need to discuss your issues with your husband and try your best to make the Marriage work.


The last (but sometimes inevitable approach)
I am so sorry to annoy some people here. I do not believe that I have to be in a Marriage because society thinks that this is the best thing for me to do - whereas I could be dying in silence).

If you feel that you cannot bear your husband's attitude and have tried all options to make this Marriage work, please meet with an Attorney to commence Divorce proceedings.

FINAL WARNING:
Do not have anything to do with your Ex except until you are divorced.

.NET

Dear Romoniyi,

I can't believe this, I am reading this and tears droping on my cheeks. This is very unfair. You are doing this to your husband who does not deserve this. Have you ever thought of how you will feel if you find out that your husband is sleeping with another woman? I will never advice you not to do into adultery, go on do it, start sleeping with your ex-boyfriend and be ready for GOD's judgement.

You think that your husband too has not seen many other ladies there that he fancies or he does not have ex-girlfriends that still want him? Of course he has, but he has made up his mind that he has married you forever. You have done many things that got him crazy too, but he will never ever think of getting another woman. But because of little issues you have been having in your marriage you are about going into adultery. I thought the priest said that you were joined for better or for worse on the day you said "I DO".

I weep for all those that will be hurt by your actions, but i weep more for you and pray that you don't attempt sucide when you satrt to reap the reward of your actions.

dear Romoniyi,,

imagine your husband hooking up with one of his EXs , oh oh, i can feel your blood boiling already. oh oh oh, i now understand what happened, your husband is a re-bound husband you married just to forget this man right, and he is back, shooo,

God deliever me from the Romoniyis of this world oh.

for you to even nurse that thought, am sorry to say, i guess your husband married the wrong woman,

the past is the past why re u developing feelings for the past , oh oh oh , the guys got too much money lapo, hmmmm. wahala dey oh.

forget bout him and face the present (your husband and kid).

Please wake up to reality, its only in yankee that people can jump in and out of marriage based on love- mostly infatuation.

But if your mind is already made up, best of luck.

its really really pathetic to live in a loveless marriage. marital vows are more like reading a story book, it doesnt hold water anymore. would you tear down your house with your own hands? thats what you are about to do.

i hate to hear when people talk about the fact that they cant forget one ex. you can make any relationship to be what you want it to be. all my relationships have been beautiful because thats how i wanted it to be, one cud be more beautiful than the other.

it seems marriage these days is more like getting a Bsc degree, whether it fetches you a job, only time will tell. where the hell has long suffering gone to?

Lol@y'all, de lady must have moved on & probably gotten married to de other man. Chill.

This is why i have totally lost faith in marriage and only planning to have a child in 5-8 years time before i hit 40. Women are so freaking unreliable and unstable. It's always about their "feelings" and emotions. When they get bored with the marriage, they will find one thing or the other to blame the man for. If the man is tolerant and doesn't give in, she will manipulate him with continuous nagging and heartache until he is forced to do something that she can hold on to and say "he did this and that to me". Time and tide have shown that the success or failure borders mainly on the woman. Even if the man does all he can, if she isn't on the boat. . .it will crash but the situation isn't the same if it's vice versa.

This link explains why men should not make the mistake of getting too attached to their wives in order to live long and healthy :

www.womensinfidelity.com

I pity you galfriend but I am sure u have solved this problem by now

Since you have made up your mind, why bothering us?

Since you have made up your mind, why bothering us?

hmm, umm

unhhh,

good ?

harakiri:

This is why i have totally lost faith in marriage and only planning to have a child in 5-8 years time before i hit 40. Women are so freaking unreliable and unstable. It's always about their "feelings" and emotions. When they get bored with the marriage, they will find one thing or the other to blame the man for. If the man is tolerant and doesn't give in, she will manipulate him with continuous nagging and heartache until he is forced to do something that she can hold on to and say "he did this and that to me". Time and tide have shown that the success or failure borders mainly on the woman. Even if the man does all he can, if she isn't on the boat. . .it will crash but the situation isn't the same if it's vice versa.

This link explains why men should not make the mistake of getting too attached to their wives in order to live long and healthy :

www.womensinfidelity.com

Am sorry but i think u got it all wrong. In her case, her husband was de one dat didn!t seem to want de success of their marriage. He cheated on her & had a child wit a white lady. Even staying wit de lady & only came back to their house anytime he wanted to see their daughter. U guys should really have taken out time to read WELL before commenting. . . Dont always appoint blames to women. Most of de time, ur fellow men are the problem.

Naijas.and their glaring /blinding hypocritical nature.lots of people both men and women have feelings for their exes. Heck how many people in Naija even marry for love. Most marry someone suitable to family,religion, social status etc. What op needs to do is try to work at her marriage, give it a specific time frame and if things don't improve divorce her hubby.the canm start on a clean slate with ex. I have a friend who had same issue her hubby was physically abusive and she lost some pregnancies ,she was still trying to make it work however her ex.fiance came along eventually she bursted her hubby. Eventually married her long lost love and she's much happier with two kids!!!!!!!

afrodiva: Naijas.and their glaring /blinding hypocritical nature.lots of people both men and women have feelings for their exes. Heck how many people in Naija even marry for love. Most marry someone suitable to family,religion, social status etc. What op needs to do is try to work at her marriage, give it a specific time frame and if things don't improve divorce her hubby.the canm start on a clean slate with ex. I have a friend who had same issue her hubby was physically abusive and she lost some pregnancies ,she was still trying to make it work however her ex.fiance came along eventually she bursted her hubby. Eventually married her long lost love and she's much happier with two kids!!!!!!!

What a load of horse shit!
We are in africa dammit,not in the west.
Marriages are sacred here,if you dont respect it,WE do!

Except you want to be stranded, please continue with you marriage and leave the young guy alone bc he was not ready.

rominiyi: It might look like I am not ready to listen, but my heart wants him, Whatever u are telling me is for my own good, I appreciate, How can i still stay with a husband i stopped loving just for the sake of my child,
How can I rekindled my love for my husband? I am lost now ,

You can fight to keep your husband or be a single mother
You can fight him or work out the relationship
The mistake is already made
Tell your husband how you love him
Ask him what him think you need to do to make the relationship better
Make the changes
You go back to your husband, tell him what you want from him and for the kids for make your marriage
help your husband pack his lunch
Send him text telling him thanks for being your Husband
sent him flowers
Reach out to him and Hopefully
He can make some changes to make thing better for your family

@OP, I am sorry to tell you that u are A BAD WOMAN! People maybe afraid to tell u, but I chose to tell u so that u can wake up from daydream! He contacted your dad now after 6yrs of lost contact, but never did when u guys lost contact...SIGHSSSSSS...you are promiscuous by nature...just listen yourself what u are blabbling here....my ex this, my hubby that, A LEGALLY MARRIED WOMAN? Gosh, you ladies are becoming scarer daily, whats wrong in this black nation called Nigeria? Now let me tell u, EVEN IF U FLEE YOUR PRESENT MARRIAGE TO GET MARRIED TO THIS EX, WHOM I AM STRONGLY BELIEVING IS VERY RICH NOW MORE THAN YOUR HUBBY, NEMESIS WILL NEVER LET YOUR NEW MARRIAGE WORK! TAKE IT, OR LEAVE IT! Your father should accompany you to go and marry him, NONESENSE! Sighssssssssssssssss........she must have married the ex by now & regretting to come back here to confess.....hiss!

OP, try and read this and I will come back to share my thought on your matter. You are definitely not doing anything wrong by pursuing full measure of your happiness, however each time you come back online to reply comments, i get hold of one more missing puzzle of your entire love diary.

Adjusting the story line a little bit, would you actually backtrack all your marriage years had your ex not showed up

Open Letter To Mrs X: “I Love Your Husband”
Dear Mrs X, I have a confession for you. I love your husband. I know this is the wrong time but I cannot hide it in me anymore. When I met you, you went on and on about how your husband was not man enough for you. Though you admitted that he provides for you and your kids very well…you still went on to say that you wish you could turn back the hands of time and he would feature nowhere in your life. I pitied you-coz I had always perceived you as a woman of style. It did not hit me for one minute that with your designer clothes and shoes, you would be unhappy. I looked at you and agreed with my moms saying that money, after all, cannot buy happiness.

I had so much pity for you until I met your husband. When he first walked in the club where I was having drinks with my gals….I thought to myself. “That’s a stylish guy”. Soon rumours were going round the table…somebody said eti that was your husband. I denied passionately saying that the man you had described to me could not be him. I mean, you said he was useless – the dude in the club did not look an inch useless.

After some research, I found out that he was your husband. Coincidentally on a rainy Friday jioni he gave me a lift home. Chit chat here and there and I confirmed that this was definitely not a useless man. He dropped me home and told me he was going for a drink. I offered to join him anyway. My friendship with your husband went on for a long time. He is a nice warm guy. He is the exact opposite of the man you described to me.

During one weekend, he confided in me that he wanted to take you away from the hustles and bustles of the city. He even cried when he narrated to me how you had first fallen in love and how things were falling apart day by day. He saw this as an opportunity to try and mend things…but what did you do? You told him that your mother was waiting for you upcountry. Of all the things, you failed to mention to your husband whom you live with under the same roof, that you had plans. Once again you broke his heart.

I know this will geek your little heart but I spent the long week-end with your husband. Hey….don’t blame me. He already had reservations and I accompanied him as a friend. Am sorry though: On reaching there, things got terribly out of hand and the obvious happened. It was warm.

I know I love your husband. I know I can give him what you will never give him – love and appreciation. So please let me love him. Am not after his money like you are because am sure if he was a poor guy you would have divorced him. Yesterday he told me that he feels like a teenager again – that feeling of loving and being loved is back. I love being with him. I remember you told me you cannot stand him. Thanks for this piece of information. I love spending my time with him and I will do everything to make sure that you lose him.

Am sorry I had to do this. But I just wanted to let you know that I LOVE YOUR HUSBAND!!

Its me who needs no introduction