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Will You Stay With A Partner Who Cannot Make Babies - Romance (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Will You Stay With A Partner Who Cannot Make Babies by Nobody: 9:58am On Feb 28, 2009
It depends on the circumstances - and I don't mean if infertility was due to abortion, D&C, etc.
It really doesn't matter the cause. What matters more to me is if either of us already have children, either between us, or from previous relationships.
In such a situation, it wouldn't bother me if she couldn't have kids.

If however there were no children already, then I for one couldn't stay. I love kids to much, I'm a realist too.
I've been in such a situation, so I'm speaking from experience.
My ex-wife was anorexic / bulimic, and she was diagnosed with POA (premature ovarian failure) very young, due to her body not getting adequate nourishment.

I knew this before we got married, and stupidly thought "love conquers all."
4 years later, it was over. I remember resenting her, when she'd eat, then lock herself in the bathroom, stick her fingers down her throat, and deliberately make herself sick, throw up what she'd eaten.

I resented the fact she'd rendered herself unable to have kids, yet she still hadn't learned from it!
In such a situation, why would I condemn myself to having no kids?  angry
Re: Will You Stay With A Partner Who Cannot Make Babies by Ifedisky(m): 10:19am On Feb 28, 2009
You'll never really know if the shoe will pinch until you try it on. I would want to believe I'll stay if my m8 makes it up in some other ways. But after reading the post above, hmm. I don't know again
Re: Will You Stay With A Partner Who Cannot Make Babies by Itaikpe(m): 10:24am On Feb 28, 2009
kiss[i][/i]
Re: Will You Stay With A Partner Who Cannot Make Babies by Nobody: 10:33am On Feb 28, 2009
This life is just too complicated
Re: Will You Stay With A Partner Who Cannot Make Babies by Nobody: 10:38am On Feb 28, 2009
This life is just too complicated
Re: Will You Stay With A Partner Who Cannot Make Babies by ant01: 1:22pm On Feb 28, 2009
I am disgusted with alot of the things that have been said about women who have problems conceiving,
Do not be judgemental.
I know a close friend who had problems not becuase she had an abortion,  SHE HAS NEVER HAD AN ABORTION AND PRETTY MUCH LIVED A VERY DECENT LIFE.

I also know 2 friends  who got married as virgins and had problems conceiving,  cant disclose any more details.

It is only God that we should put our faith into inregards to conception.

People who have never been in the shoes of people who try to conceive have NO CLUE at all. Please be careful what you say,
Re: Will You Stay With A Partner Who Cannot Make Babies by fs(f): 5:56pm On Feb 28, 2009
Yup, I would. We would adopt, we hope to do that anyway.
Re: Will You Stay With A Partner Who Cannot Make Babies by dani1luv: 6:00pm On Feb 28, 2009
Adoption wont b the solution undecided
Re: Will You Stay With A Partner Who Cannot Make Babies by Nobody: 6:01pm On Feb 28, 2009
ant01:

I am disgusted with alot of the things that have been said about women who have problems conceiving,
Do not be judgemental.
I know a close friend who had problems not becuase she had an abortion,  SHE HAS NEVER HAD AN ABORTION AND PRETTY MUCH LIVED A VERY DECENT LIFE.

I also know 2 friends  who got married as virgins and had problems conceiving,  cant disclose any more details.

It is only God that we should put our faith into inregards to conception.

People who have never been in the shoes of people who try to conceive have NO CLUE at all. Please be careful what you say,


Yes, some of the things said regarding ladies that can't have kids have been pretty crude, and unduly harsh.

But, those that say they can't stay (including myself) are not being judgemental.  
It's just choice. One might say adoption's the answer, and yes, it could be. But it's worth noting adoption's not for everyone, especially if they don't already have at least one child of their own to begin with.
Re: Will You Stay With A Partner Who Cannot Make Babies by fs(f): 6:05pm On Feb 28, 2009
dani1luv:

Adoption wont b the solution undecided

Are you talking to me? How does my decision affect yours? The OP asked a question and I answered. How does my solution affect you? Nigerians, in general, are just so freaking annoying. Mind your own damn business abeg.

My husband and I want to adopt. Infact, he thinks we should just adopt and forget birthing our own . According to him, there are a huge number of children out there that need homes. If we're both fine with this, how does it freaking concern you? Please o, God has put us on this earth for our own journeys. Handle yours and I'll handle mine. Abeg!
Re: Will You Stay With A Partner Who Cannot Make Babies by fs(f): 6:18pm On Feb 28, 2009
Siena:

Yes, some of the things said regarding ladies that can't have kids have been pretty crude, and unduly harsh.

But, those that say they can't stay (including myself) are not being judgemental.
It's just choice. One might say adoption's the answer, and yes, it could be. But it's worth noting adoption's not for everyone, especially if they don't already have at least one child of their own to begin with.

I'm pretty sure no one said adoption is for everyone. We are all different, that's the beauty of the world. Everyone is free to make their own decisions. This is why we all should really know who we are and who our partners are before getting married. Just like I wouldn't want to be married to you, you probably wouldn't want to be married to me. Hopefully, people realize these things before they get married.

God help us all.
Re: Will You Stay With A Partner Who Cannot Make Babies by JJYOU: 6:33pm On Feb 28, 2009
fs:

Are you talking to me? How does my decision affect yours? The OP asked a question and I answered. How does my solution affect you? Nigerians, in general, are just so freaking annoying. Mind your own damn business abeg.

My husband and I want to adopt. Infact, he thinks we should just adopt and forget birthing our own . According to him, there are a huge number of children out there that need homes. If we're both fine with this, how does it freaking concern you? Please o, God has put us on this earth for our own journeys. Handle yours and I'll handle mine. Abeg!
nice one.
Re: Will You Stay With A Partner Who Cannot Make Babies by Nobody: 7:00pm On Feb 28, 2009
fs:

I'm pretty sure no one said adoption is for everyone. We are all different, that's the beauty of the world. Everyone is free to make their own decisions. This is why we all should really know who we are and who our partners are before getting married. Just like I wouldn't want to be married to you, you probably wouldn't want to be married to me. Hopefully, people realize these things before they get married.

God help us all.

Take it easy, jeeze! cheesy

I wasn't referring to you in my post.
You want to adopt - that's great, I admire you for doing so.

When I posted my response, I hadn't even read yours regarding adoption.
I was speaking for myself, not anyone else.

Peace! smiley
Re: Will You Stay With A Partner Who Cannot Make Babies by fs(f): 7:12pm On Feb 28, 2009
Siena, I apologize then.
Re: Will You Stay With A Partner Who Cannot Make Babies by Nobody: 7:50pm On Feb 28, 2009
Fs, apology accepted. smiley

I trust all will go well with your choice, you seem to have a passion for what you've decided. cool
Re: Will You Stay With A Partner Who Cannot Make Babies by MrCrackles(m): 7:53pm On Feb 28, 2009
Tough one!

Cant decide
! undecided
Re: Will You Stay With A Partner Who Cannot Make Babies by Nobody: 7:58pm On Feb 28, 2009
^^^ Come on, Brash!

No sitting on the fence on this one! grin
Re: Will You Stay With A Partner Who Cannot Make Babies by Ben13: 8:10pm On Feb 28, 2009
MrCrackles:

Tough one!

Cant decide
! undecided

shocked
Re: Will You Stay With A Partner Who Cannot Make Babies by Treetop20(m): 8:32pm On Feb 28, 2009
Siena
that's sad that she didn't learn from it
but you know bulimia is a physiological disease
and no matter how we try to understand it
it is hard to comprehend. i am sure she would love to stop
as well.

Post
I don't know what i would do really
Re: Will You Stay With A Partner Who Cannot Make Babies by MrCrackles(m): 8:35pm On Feb 28, 2009
Siena:

^^^ Come on, Brash!

No sitting on the fence on this one! grin

But my butt is stucked on the fence Siena! grin

Wetin man go do!!

OK truth be told I CAN
! cheesy
Re: Will You Stay With A Partner Who Cannot Make Babies by Czarskit(m): 8:38pm On Feb 28, 2009
And who said that she wouldn't be able to av babies?!

. . .make I enter the place first whether twins(es) no go fall out! grin
Re: Will You Stay With A Partner Who Cannot Make Babies by Nobody: 8:49pm On Feb 28, 2009
I've once said NO to the same topic before. But come to think of it, who actually ask about infertility on a first or a second or even a third date?

You never know until you try the reproduction process. If you then find out he/she can't have a baby, leaving him/her based on her infertility would be cruel and devastating.

However, if he knows he can't have a baby and lets me know on a third date, mehn, sorry, but goodbye.  undecided

I'm the kind of "I want my man's baby" person, not a donated sperm.
Re: Will You Stay With A Partner Who Cannot Make Babies by dayokanu(m): 9:02pm On Feb 28, 2009
To avoid all these unnecesary infertility drama I dont know how I would react but it might lead to me cheating on the woman
Its better to carry out a comprehensive check of your spouse to be a lots of sexual session(Talks and action) to know sexual compatibility.
Re: Will You Stay With A Partner Who Cannot Make Babies by JJYOU: 9:08pm On Feb 28, 2009
dayokanu:

To avoid all these unnecesary infertility drama I dont know how I would react but it might lead to me cheating on the woman
Its better to carry out a comprehensive check of your spouse to be a lots of sexual session(Talks and action) to know sexual compatibility.
how does this
Its better to carry out a comprehensive check of your spouse to be a lots of sexual session(Talks and action) to know sexual compatibility.
= fertility bros?

HeatFusion:

I've once said NO to the same topic before. But come to think of it, who actually ask about infertility on a first or a second or even a third date?

You never know until you try the reproduction process. If you then find out he/she can't have a baby, leaving him/her based on her infertility would be cruel and devastating.

However, if he knows he can't have a baby and lets me know on a third date, mehn, sorry, but goodbye.  undecided

I'm the kind of "I want my man's baby" person, not a donated sperm.
how does being right make you feel ma?
Re: Will You Stay With A Partner Who Cannot Make Babies by TOYOSI20(f): 10:07pm On Feb 28, 2009
Errrr. . .that'll be a big fat NOOOO!!! wink
Re: Will You Stay With A Partner Who Cannot Make Babies by tope2000(f): 1:16am On Mar 01, 2009
No embarassed
Re: Will You Stay With A Partner Who Cannot Make Babies by DaPhoenix(f): 1:31am On Mar 01, 2009
No. What's the use of a gun without bullets? I can however stay with him if it can be fixed
Re: Will You Stay With A Partner Who Cannot Make Babies by Nobody: 7:31am On Mar 01, 2009
Well, i have kids already, so maybe the topic isn't meant for me.
I see some misogynist on the prowl angry
Re: Will You Stay With A Partner Who Cannot Make Babies by Gabry(f): 4:16am On Mar 02, 2009
I always wanted to adopt a child. God knows why but my partner is against it. He wanted to have his own. . . Well, I asked him what if I cannot conceive and he said in that case, the last resort is to go for adoption. he just does now agree that if im fertile and I dont want to conceive.
Re: Will You Stay With A Partner Who Cannot Make Babies by oluwafemi113(m): 8:32am On Mar 02, 2009
God knows the best
Re: Will You Stay With A Partner Who Cannot Make Babies by ammamat(f): 10:51am On Mar 02, 2009
Life is really and very comlecated,,,, problems here and there, If is not from the man, from the woman,
But lets come to think of it why did God allowed Hannah and Sarah to go thru such? Its means no matter how hard and difficult it is God can still do something. If u degently seek him, whearther is abortion, virus oh naturally any how i mean God knows and understand it.

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