I've seen a lot of it. They come back crying to u....why? Cos their boyfriends have beaten them - yet again! And I cant help but wonder why they still remain with such men, which is why I ask: Will you choose to remain in a relationship where the man habitually abuses you? And what keeps ladies in such relationships going? Any contributions and experiences are welcome!

It's bullshìt in the court of law. I would simply charge any guy who abuses me physically $60,000 and all expense paid trip to Dubia if I was a lady

God forbid!

And you really want them to admit it here? Really?

Cos most of them are desperate and have low self esteem

Some truly think that thats the way they show their love for them. Others are scared to leave because they know what the guy is capable of doing. Some are getting some type of advantage from the guy and the rest think that's the best out there. I personally will not think twice to charge with assault and end relationship sharp sharp

Mynd_44: Cos most of them are desperate and have low self esteem

Gbam.

Also they expect the guys will change,invariably they are always wrong and always left dissapointed

I don't support a guy physically abusing a lady but most ladies should check themselves. Most times the ladies are not completely innocent in the case. No guy has ever raised his hands on me before and I have never done anything to warrant that. So if I really did something wrong and he slaps me? I'd suck it up. But if he lay his hands on me for no just cause? I'd end the relationship, his azz will be thrown in jail or my brothers will give him the beating of his life.

Marriage counsellors say one out of two women are abused, I also did a little research and observed it could be higher. I just don't understand why girls put up with such siht.

Amya: And you really want them to admit it here? Really?

Amya: And you really want them to admit it here? Really?

Amya: And you really want them to admit it here? Really?

Marriage counsellors say one out of two women are abused, I also made a little research and observed it could be higher. I just don't understand why girls put up with such siht.

vivian chinaza: I don't support a guy physically abusing a lady but most ladies should check themselves. Most times the ladies are not completely innocent in the case. No guy has ever raised his hands on me before and I have never done anything to warrant that. So if I really did something wrong and he slaps me? I'd suck it up. But if he lay his hands on me for no just cause? I'd end the relationship, his azz will be thrown in jail or my brothers will give him the beating of his life.

First of all, how do YOU know MOST TIMES ladies aren't innocent?
Secondly, is there any excuse for someone beating someone up who is weaker? In my world, unless I don't hit you, you have NO RIGHT to hit me.
I really wish you well but I hope you'll have a boyfriend one day who slaps you whenever he thinks you did SOMETHING wrong.

carefreewannabe:

First of all, how do YOU know MOST TIMES ladies aren't innocent?
Secondly, is there any excuse for someone beating someone up who is weaker? In my world, unless I don't hit you, you have NO RIGHT to hit me.
I really wish you well but I hope you'll have a boyfriend one day who slaps you whenever he thinks you did SOMETHING wrong.

Well, I'm gonna answer your question with practical examples.........
There are some things you as a lady will say to a man and he will be forced to beat you.
1. I used to have a neighbour that insults her husband at any slightest provocation, she uses all manner of demeaning words and sometimes the man will be forced to beat her. Whose fault is that?
2. I watched a soap opera today "super story" where a lady kept on insulting the husband, even when the man pleaded with her to stop she went on insulting the man until he was forced to slap her, she moved out of the house and before she could come back another lady has taken over, whose fault is that?

Some ladies find it very difficult to control their mouth, most times they go as far as daring the man and sometimes this lands them in trouble.

All I'm saying is, physical abuse is bad.....but some ladies should stop pushing their men to the wall. And this is applicable to both parties cos there are also things that you'd say to a woman and she will slap you.


As for my man beating me........I have done so many wrongs, had a lot of argument in my relationships but in all my manners and the way I control what comes out of my mouth matter.

Whatever a woman does to a man does not deserve a beating unless of course she attacks him first. If she does not slap you or pull a gun on you why beat her up? It is senseless and cowardice.

If as Vivian says the moan always insult him, why can't he insult her back? Why mist you beat her up for insulting you.

Does it also mean if his mother insults him he will beat her? Lepa be practical here.

If a woman insults you in public and you beat her up, you will go to jail for assault. No excuse that he insults you will save you. But if she hits you first, then you have a sensible defence

vivian chinaza: .

U are in mental bondage, serious one!!

Does ur father hit ur mum?? That could be the root of ur problem.

Mynd_44: Whatever a woman does to a man does not deserve a beating unless of course she attacks him first. If she does not slap you or pull a gun on you why beat her up? It is senseless and cowardice.

If as Vivian says the moan always insult him, why can't he insult her back? Why mist you beat her up for insulting you.

Does it also mean if his mother insults him he will beat her? Lepa be practical here.

If a woman insults you in public and you beat her up, you will go to jail for assault. No excuse that he insults you will save you. But if she hits you first, then you have a sensible defence

Maybe that's for you mynd. It takes the grace of God for a man to swallow demeaning insults from a woman especially a wife. You will never know until you start living with a woman.

Shollypopz:
U are in mental bondage, serious one!!

Does ur father hit ur mum?? That could be the root of ur problem.

From the look of things you don't even have a father, cos if you do you will learn how to respect one.

And no, my dad has never hit my mum in their 2.....yrs of marriage and my mum has never use demeaning words on my dad before.

vivian chinaza:

From the look of things you don't even have a father, cos if you do you will learn how to respect one.

And no, my dad has never hit my mum in their 2.....yrs of marriage and my mum has never use demeaning words on my dad before.

I do have a father and I respect mine.

U need to check again d dictionary meaning of the word respect cos u're known to use words u don't know the meaning of carelessly. So according to you, ur mum deserves to be beaten when she uses demeaning words on your father. LMAO, you and this ur slave-like mentality

Here's a link, u're welcome.
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/respect

vivian chinaza:

Maybe that's for you mynd. It takes the grace of God for a man to swallow demeaning insults from a woman especially a wife. You will never know until you start living with a woman.

Look its the truth. If my mum stars insulting me, will I slap her? The answer is no.

Stop making excuses for us men it makes us worse

And will Sholly and Vivian knock their silly beef off. It is annoying

Sholly, getting into an argument with you is a complete waste of time.....cos you are a trash that should be dumped in a trash can.

When you identify a problem, proffer a lasting solution to it........yes marriage counsellors carry out this research every year and despite the awareness, some men still beat their wives and a percentage of this could have been avoided if some wives know how to control their mouths.

Husbands beating you wives is wrong! Wives learn how to control your mouths! Is that too hard of a job?

I cherish my body a lot and if controlling my mouth will save me from this, I'd simply do it.

Those people that got married in the church, attended marriage courses, is this not what they are been taught there? Let's stop complicating issues abeg.

Vivian I demand that you change your signature. What do you mean hit my head with frying pan?

Mynd_44:
Look its the truth. If my mum stars insulting me, will I slap her? The answer is no.

Stop making excuses for us men it makes us worse

Mynd ur mum is ur mum! Your wife is ur wife! These are two different people ok. And I don't make excuses for men, far from it........when we realise the role we play in things it will help us a great deal. If you gather an ant infested firewood, be prepared to have lizards as visitors.

Why would I
I dey craze

Mynd_44: Vivian I demand that you change your signature. What do you mean hit my head with frying pan?

, of course if that's the only way I can knock some senses into you, why not? The signature stays darling.

Mynd_44: Whatever a woman does to a man does not deserve a beating unless of course she attacks him first. If she does not slap you or pull a gun on you why beat her up? It is senseless and cowardice.

If as Vivian says the moan always insult him, why can't he insult her back? Why mist you beat her up for insulting you.

Does it also mean if his mother insults him he will beat her? Lepa be practical here.

If a woman insults you in public and you beat her up, you will go to jail for assault. No excuse that he insults you will save you. But if she hits you first, then you have a sensible defence

You're making big sense bro. But that's for the guys, really. What really gets me is why the so-abused women will always run back to the same coward who relishes beating them sometimes without remorse?

vivian chinaza:

Well, I'm gonna answer your question with practical examples.........
There are some things you as a lady will say to a man and he will be forced to beat you.
1. I used to have a neighbour that insults her husband at any slightest provocation, she uses all manner of demeaning words and sometimes the man will be forced to beat her. Whose fault is that?
2. I watched a soap opera today "super story" where a lady kept on insulting the husband, even when the man pleaded with her to stop she went on insulting the man until he was forced to slap her, she moved out of the house and before she could come back another lady has taken over, whose fault is that?

Some ladies find it very difficult to control their mouth, most times they go as far as daring the man and sometimes this lands them in trouble.

All I'm saying is, physical abuse is bad.....but some ladies should stop pushing their men to the wall. And this is applicable to both parties cos there are also things that you'd say to a woman and she will slap you.


As for my man beating me........I have done so many wrongs, had a lot of argument in my relationships but in all my manners and the way I control what comes out of my mouth matter.

1. What are these things that "FORCE" a man to beat his wife? If a wife insults her husband at the slightest provocation, then he probably married the wrong woman. They better divorce! This is not marriage, this is war.

2. "I watched a soap opera ..." You better read a good book. Just suggesting. I don't care about soap operas and I don't accept such examples. Let's stick to real life situations.

3. If a man marries a lady who can't control her mouth and lacks proper behavior, he is a jerk, otherwise, why did he marry her?

4. You said MOST TIMES ladies who are beaten up, aren't innocent implying that they push their husbands. And I tell you that you have no idea and that your statement is very dangerous. Ladies like that exist for sure but before you make such statements when it comes to such sensitive issues, think twice. If you want to receive beatings because you made a mistake, that's your choice, I hope the beatings will not leave any permanent injuries and I hope your children won't have to watch their mama being beaten up BECAUSE SHE DID "SOMETHING WRONG". I consider myself a normal human being and I make mistakes, which doesn't justify any beating, not even from my parents.

vivian chinaza:

Mynd ur mum is ur mum! Your wife is ur wife! These are two different people ok. And I don't make excuses for men, far from it........when we realise the role we play in things it will help us a great deal. If you gather an ant infested firewood, be prepared to have lizards as visitors.

Walai, I don't have the strength for this argument again.

Do what you want and I will do mine

Shollypopz:
U are in mental bondage, serious one!!

Does ur father hit ur mum?? That could be the root of ur problem.

I was thinking the same. First I got angry, then I felt sorry for her.

vivian chinaza: I don't support a guy physically abusing a lady but most ladies should check themselves. Most times the ladies are not completely innocent in the case. No guy has ever raised his hands on me before and I have never done anything to warrant that. So if I really did something wrong and he slaps me? I'd suck it up. But if he lay his hands on me for no just cause? I'd end the relationship, his azz will be thrown in jail or my brothers will give him the beating of his life.

Gawdamn!! You got to be kidding me!




@Op.
This topic is overflogged!
I can't stay in an abusive situation....

Shollypopz:

I do have a father and I respect mine.

U need to check again d dictionary meaning of the word respect cos u're known to use words u don't know the meaning of carelessly. So according to you, ur mum deserves to be beaten when she uses demeaning words on your father. LMAO, you and this ur slave-like mentality

Here's a link, u're welcome.
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/respect

@ Sholly, try and understand the point Vivian is making. I really do not think she supports men physically abusing their women. The point is - women should not hide under the shadows of 'being weaker' to wreck havocs with their mouths. Some men who have beaten their women will tell you they were pushed to the wall and I can just imagine those scenarios. Men should learn to control their impulses while women too have a lot of 'mouth controlling' to do, lol. Self control should come from both sides. Expecting men to have all the self control and then freeing women to wag their tongues freely isn't fair..

Emmerlee:

@ Sholly, try and understand the point Vivian is making. I really do not think she supports men physically abusing their women. The point is - women should not hide under the shadows of 'being weaker' to wreck havocs with their mouths. Some men who have beaten their women will tell you they were pushed to the wall and I can just imagine those scenarios. Men should learn to control their impulses while women too have a lot of 'mouth controlling' to do, lol. Self control should come from both sides. Expecting men to have all the self control and then freeing women to wag their tongues freely isn't fair..

She said MOST TIMES women are not innocent and it bothers me.
And I will stick to my opinion: NOBODY HAS THE RIGHT TO HIT ANOTHER PERSON!
If your wife lacks proper behavior, why the hell have you married her at all?