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My Wife Shows No Affection - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: My Wife Shows No Affection by cold(m): 9:52am On Jul 05, 2015
I can relate

4 Likes

Re: My Wife Shows No Affection by Ndkings1(m): 9:52am On Jul 05, 2015
G
Re: My Wife Shows No Affection by Nobody: 9:52am On Jul 05, 2015
kunlesufyan:

God bless you this Sunday morning ...exactly what I'll do after trying so much...
Bless you too.
Re: My Wife Shows No Affection by slap1(m): 9:52am On Jul 05, 2015
adeh39:
Well, I think the lady is the shy type..... some ladies are so shy that they can't even dress in front of their husby.

The man should talk to her about it, in a calm and reassuring way........... I think she will change.

Still shy after two kids? Why isn't she a reverend sister?

6 Likes

Re: My Wife Shows No Affection by Nobody: 9:52am On Jul 05, 2015
Encourage her to get a house help. I know you can figure out the rest.

8 Likes

Re: My Wife Shows No Affection by Truckpusher(m): 9:55am On Jul 05, 2015
charlezok:
I am a 36 year old man in pretty good shape, 6'2" and good looking. I am a very affectionate and loving person, but my wife is not. I am always the one to initiate sex, hugs, kisses, or any type of physical contact. I don't understand why she's so cold to me. I love her with all my heart, but she is breaking me down. I have tried doing more of the housework, working out 5 days a week, anything I could think of to get her more interested in me but nothing works. She tells me that she loves me, but she doesn't make me feel loved at all. I want her to want to be with me without me asking her too. We have 2 kids that I am committed to being here for, so I am at a loss as to what I should do. Sorry for rambling, but a brother needs help here.
She's either resenting you because she's having affection for some other guy or she is already cheating on you big time and you are not getting the message.Wake up bro and shine ya eyes.

7 Likes

Re: My Wife Shows No Affection by adjoviomole(m): 9:55am On Jul 05, 2015
Hey dude ma gf s kinda like dat.all u have to do. Is....drop ur contact so We cld talk privately
Re: My Wife Shows No Affection by Oceemo(m): 9:55am On Jul 05, 2015
Bros I hope u know must of this guys here are not married so I wonder what advice d will give 2 help. U jst have 2 b careful seek help from experience peeps that's my take

1 Like

Re: My Wife Shows No Affection by Pangea: 9:55am On Jul 05, 2015
Maybe she is a closet lesbian!
Re: My Wife Shows No Affection by Sweetlily2819(f): 9:56am On Jul 05, 2015
Just ignore her,don't love her any more.

1 Like

Re: My Wife Shows No Affection by Nobody: 9:56am On Jul 05, 2015
I want more of this story. I guess you met her on naira land. Because these are some of the things you should have notice in her when dating. Instead of looking for a way to make front page. #jakujaku

2 Likes

Re: My Wife Shows No Affection by justi4jesu(f): 9:57am On Jul 05, 2015
olafisoyeibukun:
I want more of this story. I guess you met her on naira land. Because these are some of the things you should have notice in her when dating. Instead of looking for a way to make front page. #jakujaku

Who gave you MB? cheesy

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Wife Shows No Affection by awa17(f): 9:57am On Jul 05, 2015
I'd advise you pray about it. But has it been this way ever since you got married, or its just a recent development? If it is a recent development then there is a problem some where. Either way, have a heart to heart talk with her and pray. Bros there is Power in the name of Jesus, and having a Godly home where Christ is the King smiley

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Wife Shows No Affection by Toks2008(m): 9:57am On Jul 05, 2015
charlezok:
I am a 36 year old man in pretty good shape, 6'2" and good looking. I am a very affectionate and loving person, but my wife is not. I am always the one to initiate sex, hugs, kisses, or any type of physical contact. I don't understand why she's so cold to me. I love her with all my heart, but she is breaking me down. I have tried doing more of the housework, working out 5 days a week, anything I could think of to get her more interested in me but nothing works. She tells me that she loves me, but she doesn't make me feel loved at all. I want her to want to be with me without me asking her too. We have 2 kids that I am committed to being here for, so I am at a loss as to what I should do. Sorry for rambling, but a brother needs help here.

Have a heart to heart depp communication asking her what could be wrong.

though this is no issue but will become one only if she rebuffs your advances.

Ladies are naturlly timid and traditionally its a man who initiates the move most times so thats perfectly understandable.

nevertheless i guess you should sit her down and tell her you are the type of man who enjoys a lady initiiating the moves.

But trust me,your wife is perfectly ok but as i wrote,you will only have reasons to worry iif she was formally a sex initiator but changed or if she rebuffs your sexual advances.

2 Likes

Re: My Wife Shows No Affection by Nobody: 9:58am On Jul 05, 2015
naijaboiy:
I do hope it was not a forceful marriage though. lipsrsealed
guy....what's wrong? Your attitude these days are unbecoming of a gentleman....u first said lalastic take note of this insolent fool.

1 Like

Re: My Wife Shows No Affection by Mekzmoney(m): 9:58am On Jul 05, 2015
Exactly wat I wanted to say.. As she's not returning d lov, just ignore her 4sumtym, value her bt pretend dat u dnt care. Stop being romantic, she would tink dat u ve changed n dat ur seen anoda woman, then she would cum back to her senses.... My dear, ur correct, he needs to ignore her.
germainediva:
The best way to get any woman to love you is to ignore her...........women get irritated with too much attenntion

3 Likes

Re: My Wife Shows No Affection by Sweetlily2819(f): 9:59am On Jul 05, 2015
Exactly
germainediva:
The best way to get any woman to love you is to ignore her...........women get irritated with too much attenntion

1 Like

Re: My Wife Shows No Affection by Slidoo(m): 9:59am On Jul 05, 2015
charlezok:
I am a 36 year old man in pretty good shape, 6'2" and good looking. I am a very affectionate and loving person, but my wife is not. I am always the one to initiate sex, hugs, kisses, or any type of physical contact. I don't understand why she's so cold to me. I love her with all my heart, but she is breaking me down. I have tried doing more of the housework, working out 5 days a week, anything I could think of to get her more interested in me but nothing works. She tells me that she loves me, but she doesn't make me feel loved at all. I want her to want to be with me without me asking her too. We have 2 kids that I am committed to being here for, so I am at a loss as to what I should do. Sorry for rambling, but a brother needs help here.
Bros, i think all u need to do is to counsel her first.. and watch her.. knows it's going to b a gradual process..
Re: My Wife Shows No Affection by jossy26: 10:01am On Jul 05, 2015
it maybe her upbringing many families never discussed sex with them daughters so when they get married they find it difficult to get out of the cocoon, I think women hardly initiate romance so they are not tagged as being *bad girl*

talk to her bro, let her know you want her to do those things as you do to her, won't come immediately but she should improve gradually.
Re: My Wife Shows No Affection by filani(m): 10:01am On Jul 05, 2015
charlezok:
I am a 36 year old man in pretty good shape, 6'2" and good looking. I am a very affectionate and loving person, but my wife is not. I am always the one to initiate sex, hugs, kisses, or any type of physical contact. I don't understand why she's so cold to me. I love her with all my heart, but she is breaking me down. I have tried doing more of the housework, working out 5 days a week, anything I could think of to get her more interested in me but nothing works. She tells me that she loves me, but she doesn't make me feel loved at all. I want her to want to be with me without me asking her too. We have 2 kids that I am committed to being here for, so I am at a loss as to what I should do. Sorry for rambling, but a brother needs help here.

@ Charlzok

You are a 36 y/o man so i will take the risk to assume you have the prerequisite level of maturity to handle a no holds barred assesment of your post. Ok , here goes.

In a manner of speaking you have answered your own question. You have followed the textbook example of what society expects from a 'good man' but like most good men you have given all these fine qualities to a woman who is not worth it.

You say she does not make you feel loved at all but i put it to you brother that her attitude to you did not just manifest overnight, she must have displayed signs of this tendency during your dating/courting period but you likely chose to ignore the red flags or even worse you didn't see the red flags as red flags at all!

My father pulled me aside one day and gave me some valuable advise which more young men should recieve before they get married.
He said 'My son, whatever you know in your heart you can never tolerate when you are married, Never Ever tolerate it while you are dating!'

The rationale behind the statement is simple, our dating life with our partners is a practice run for what married life with them will be like. If you notice a bad trait in your partner and rather than raising the issue with them you make excuses for it or tell yourself ' it will change after we get married' then you are simply your own worst enemy and you are not walking in wisdom.

Concerning your wife, think back to your dating days . did she ever go out of her way to do anything for you just because she 'cares' for you? Did you get into the habit of taking care of her without thinking that she should also return the favor? If you are brutally honest with yourself you will see that you laid the foundation for what you are experiencing now during your dating days.

You did not set a standard of positive behaviour that you expect from her for being a good boyfriend but rather you rewarded her for not pulling her wieght in the relationship by marrying her! Yikes!!! And now the result of that is clear, she has everything she wants or might want in the future because you have made it your 'duty' to give it to her .

1) she wants a good looking guys, who keeps himself fit and trim unlike those other naija guys , CHECK

2) she wants a hard working husband to handle things around the house, CHECK

3) she wants a baby, DOUBLE CHECK

4) she wants a domesticated guy who does house chores , CHECK

5) she wants a guy who makes it clear that he will do whatever it takes to please her, even thou she doesn't give a rats ass about him, CHECK

My brother , do you see the pattern here? You have sold yourself short BIG TIME!

A popular saying goes ' Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?'

My brother it is time to take your destiny into your own hands. It is time for you to go back to basics and rebuild yourself again.

1) keep working out and stay in shape but don't do it for her, do it for yourself b'cos you deserve to be the best you can be.

2) keep being a good father to the kids, develop a solid relationship with them.

3)Raise the issue with an authority figure in her life, her parents, her pastor.....lay down the story from A to Z , don't sugar coat it, let them know where you are coming from.

4) you have already raised the issue with her but do it again from a position of strength not from a beggarly mindset .Ask her what she wants from the marriage and what if anything she feels is still lacking then also tell her your own expectations from the marraige and how your deepest needs are not being met and how she can remedy that state.

4) when all else fails , serve her with DIVORCE PAPERS. You derserve to be happy ,life is to short to spend your days in emotional hell .

Shalom.

30 Likes 4 Shares

Re: My Wife Shows No Affection by Nobody: 10:02am On Jul 05, 2015
And u come here to INSULT her...

Was she FORCED on u...?

I would have rained INSULTS on U now if today were not SUNDAY

1 Like

Re: My Wife Shows No Affection by Bigbang2013(m): 10:03am On Jul 05, 2015
sell it bruh we have got Olx ;Dsell it bruh we have got Olx

1 Like

Re: My Wife Shows No Affection by Silentnoise(m): 10:03am On Jul 05, 2015
I believe u courted before you both said your I dos.... You would have known her type so why complain? If its a recent development then its a cause for alarm....its either she is depressed or she is involved with another.. Just my take though..
Re: My Wife Shows No Affection by vickchi94(f): 10:04am On Jul 05, 2015
Truckpusher:
She's either resenting you because she's having affection for some other guy or she is already cheating on you big time and you are not getting the message.Wake up bro and shine ya eyes.


hmmmm i dnt think this is true.
Op just talk 2 her. And after that ignore her. I bet you this will Wrk. I speak out of experience

3 Likes

Re: My Wife Shows No Affection by hibbayueei(m): 10:04am On Jul 05, 2015
Am so late for my meeting and I ve not gone 2ru the files/Am traveling and I will need sumtin to kip me busy/My phone memory is filled up, I need to free some space/i need to transfer files from my computer to my Phone or Tablets/ I need to watch a video or play music or read files I downloaded from my phone on my TV screen or Tablets or computer .... THEN what you need is an OTG Smartphones Dual USB Flash drive... Check my signature/profile for more information.
Re: My Wife Shows No Affection by AreTheyBitches(m): 10:04am On Jul 05, 2015
charlezok:
I am a 36 year old man in pretty good shape, 6'2" and good looking. I am a very affectionate and loving person, but my wife is not. I am always the one to initiate sex, hugs, kisses, or any type of physical contact. I don't understand why she's so cold to me. I love her with all my heart, but she is breaking me down. I have tried doing more of the housework, working out 5 days a week, anything I could think of to get her more interested in me but nothing works. She tells me that she loves me, but she doesn't make me feel loved at all. I want her to want to be with me without me asking her too. We have 2 kids that I am committed to being here for, so I am at a loss as to what I should do. Sorry for rambling, but a brother needs help here.

Definitely you have offended her, call her down and ask her what is it you did to offend her and assure her you still love her
Re: My Wife Shows No Affection by layinkakeem(m): 10:05am On Jul 05, 2015
Tell her, say it straight to her face !
Or else you're on a long thing bro !
This has also happened to me !
Re: My Wife Shows No Affection by Nobody: 10:05am On Jul 05, 2015
*pretend like you don't care for her and your home anylonger.. see if it works..
*if it still doesn't, pretend like you are having an extra-marital affair... if it still doesn't work..
*start an extra-marital affair...

she go break down before number 3..but if she doesn't break down, My brother, ur wife was a 160 years old zimbabwean who came back to the world in a nigerian skin.. na to divorce sure pass..
my 1kobo

8 Likes

Re: My Wife Shows No Affection by anonimi: 10:06am On Jul 05, 2015
adeh39:
Well, I think the lady is the shy type..... some ladies are so shy that they can't even dress in front of their husby.

You have assumed that she was not dressing in front of him when they were still bf/gf, not so
Re: My Wife Shows No Affection by EMEKA1MILLION(m): 10:06am On Jul 05, 2015
germainediva:
The best way to get any woman to love you is to ignore her...........women get irritated with too much attenntion
shocked shocked as said by a lady

1 Like

Re: My Wife Shows No Affection by Truckpusher(m): 10:06am On Jul 05, 2015
vickchi94:


hmmmm i dnt think this is true.
Op just talk 2 her. And after that ignore her. I bet you this will Wrk. I speak out of experience
Women don't put up dramas over nothing.

If the guy isn't misbehaving and doing all the wrong things as well as keeping late nights then something is fishy about her.

2 Likes

Re: My Wife Shows No Affection by obodop: 10:07am On Jul 05, 2015
charlezok:
I am a 36 year old man in pretty good shape, 6'2" and good looking. I am a very affectionate and loving person, but my wife is not. I am always the one to initiate sex, hugs, kisses, or any type of physical contact. I don't understand why she's so cold to me. I love her with all my heart, but she is breaking me down. I have tried doing more of the housework, working out 5 days a week, anything I could think of to get her more interested in me but nothing works. She tells me that she loves me, but she doesn't make me feel loved at all. I want her to want to be with me without me asking her too. We have 2 kids that I am committed to being here for, so I am at a loss as to what I should do. Sorry for rambling, but a brother needs help here.



I know exactly how you feel the slight difference is that am not married to her yet. I love mine to a fault but am thinking of leaving her Cus I get down each time she does that.
My advice is that you try isolating her sometimes until she is drawn to you again that's when you get her best. It work for me though mine is that she doesn't stay with me

1 Like

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