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I Don't Want To Regret My Decision And Miss Out On What Is For Me. Pls Advice - Romance (11) - Nairaland

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Re: I Don't Want To Regret My Decision And Miss Out On What Is For Me. Pls Advice by 2tek: 8:05pm On Sep 05, 2015
Three VERY IMPORTANT things u must cosider B4 u MARRY anyone.
(1) CHARACTER: Do they have good character, respect u?
(2) COMPETENCE: DO they have money(I don't mean very rich). Don't under estimate d power of money in any relationship. Money lubricate love. A guy who doesn't HV money, always beg for love while d rich guy have many ladies flocking round him(some real ND many of dem ladies are fake).
(3) CONNECTION/CHEMISTRY: marry ur friend is an age-long adage. Now it has been modified to: marry ur best friend and lover. Peace of mind is very important in marriage, do not sacrifice it for material things. For when money and material things disappear, divorce is inevitable.

1 Like

Re: I Don't Want To Regret My Decision And Miss Out On What Is For Me. Pls Advice by joseph1832(m): 8:06pm On Sep 05, 2015
UjSizzle:

Bless you dear. So far this is the most balanced, sensible comment here and to think people are hitting the 'like' button on crap posts. Goes to show the calibre of people on this forum undecided
My dear you can not expect people to like what you like.

1 Like

Re: I Don't Want To Regret My Decision And Miss Out On What Is For Me. Pls Advice by yougosee: 8:12pm On Sep 05, 2015
Bonita101n2:


Modify your very first post and state it there that you are working & rich too. New readers will keep being rude to you Sweetie..smiley

1 Like

Re: I Don't Want To Regret My Decision And Miss Out On What Is For Me. Pls Advice by UjSizzle(f): 8:19pm On Sep 05, 2015
MrBasketball:
Well... UjSizzle happy birthday.
Thank you smiley

1 Like

Re: I Don't Want To Regret My Decision And Miss Out On What Is For Me. Pls Advice by Nobody: 8:23pm On Sep 05, 2015
A woman is entitled to the man of her dreams... It's not a bad thing for a woman to wish for a rich guy.. Moreover, Money changeth a man, it's hard to know or really tell if a guy truely loves you, but the True test of love is when the guy that didn't have eventually has enough and when the guy who has enough suddenly loses all.. Don't mind most poor guys Here, follow your heart

1 Like

Re: I Don't Want To Regret My Decision And Miss Out On What Is For Me. Pls Advice by justwise(m): 8:27pm On Sep 05, 2015
mbulela:

This my man.
Long time no read!
How you dey?


I'm good thanks and yourself?
Re: I Don't Want To Regret My Decision And Miss Out On What Is For Me. Pls Advice by toksbisola: 8:29pm On Sep 05, 2015
@OP; First things first; try not to look down on any man; be it a poor/rich man. A MAN IS A MAN WHETHER HE’S FROM A HUMBLE, AVERAGE OR RICH BACKGROUND. As you’re seeking for a rich man, I hope you’re rich as well (No offence hope none taken) as being rich is not meant for only men; ladies can be rich as well.

The way you presented your write-up has made so many people on this thread to term you a gold digger; and some even mention that you’re giving other ladies a bad name. I won't judge you; but it would probably have been different if you had not placed so much emphasis on THE WORD RICH as i noticed that you referred to that word several times in your write-up; which is a bit worrying.

Moving ahead, to love someone is a beautiful thing; and when one is seeking a partner, there are certain factors you need to consider before taking the “I DO” step as MARRIAGE IS NOT A BED OF ROSES.

The factors are; Love, Compatibility, Respect and Friendship.

The few questions mentioned below, can you in your heart answer yes to all regarding the current not so well to do guy that you like; (as you’ve termed him; a wrong choice of words if you ask me)

Is he caring?
Is he decent?
Is he hardworking?
Is he supportive?
Does he love you?

We all have preference’ as to what we want in a partner; but laying so much emphasis on RICHES can be a dangerous game. Besides, you’re entitled to marry a rich man IF THAT’S WHAT YOU WANT AND WOULD MAKE YOU HAPPY. But let me tell you, a man who’s rich today can become poor tomorrow; likewise a man who’s poor today can become rich tomorrow.

Always look at the potential for the future in a man when seeking for a mate and not riches. If he has the potentials to make it big tomorrow; then I’ll advice you to work with him. I can’t see what stops you from using your influence to bring the not so well to do guy up financial.

Do you know how many ladies wants to marry a rich man? There are more ladies seeking rich men than there are rich men available. The sensible ladies, would look for a man with potentials even though he might not be currently rich and encourage him to push ahead to make it and become comfortable later on in life. You might say what if I marry a poor man and he remains poor? Well you’re not in a position to see the future; hence, you can’t answer that question correctly.

If he has a job and can take good care of you and the kids you’ll have; then why not? It’s not as if the not so well to do guy wouldn’t want to improve his lot in life. I am pretty sure he would want to work hard and become comfortable. WITH GOD, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE.

There are lots of women who have toiled your part in marrying a rich guy; and they are miserable in their marriages as their husbands see them as not adding any value to their life’s financially; some are even termed as GOLD-DIGGERS. On the other hand, there are also women who have married rich men that are not facing that dilemma.

Always note, that you can marry a rich/poor man who’ll deal with you mercilessly and disrespect you on every occasion and not give you the peace you require. On the other hand you can also marry a rich/poor man that would give you peace and love you dearly; you just never know.

You did make mention that you had a rich man you wanted to marry but your family said no; what makes you think that the next rich man you bring they’ll accept? You never can tell.

As for your brother meddling into your affairs as to who you should marry, remember that it’s not going to be him who’ll live with you and your husband. Your brother in theory SHOULD NOT influence your choice in the man you intend settling down with. You are the one that would live with your fiancé when you marry him and not your brother nor any of your family members. LET YOUR BROTHER FACE HIS OWN RELATIONSHIP (IF HE HAS ONE) AND STAY CLEAR OF YOURS. Although, I’ll just reiterate the fact that it is important for both of you to be at ease with either family members to avoid problems.

Finally, look for more important qualities that a man has (as mentioned above) aside money/riches before settling down with him to avoid stories that touch/hurt. NEVER EVER PUT HIS MONEY AND RICHES FIRST AND BLIND YOU IN HIS SHORT-COMINGS TO AVOID POTENTIAL PROBLEMS AFTER MARRIAGE.

I rest my case

7 Likes 3 Shares

Re: I Don't Want To Regret My Decision And Miss Out On What Is For Me. Pls Advice by Cusan: 8:29pm On Sep 05, 2015
Dottore:
[size=15pt]I can only discover that you are a wretched gold digging rat. How much does your lazy and hopeless brother has and how has he impacted in the lives of other ladies he's been bleeping. Keep digging for gold. You would soon find ashes.
I wonder how this trash made front page[/size]



my dear, take am easy
Re: I Don't Want To Regret My Decision And Miss Out On What Is For Me. Pls Advice by hayor93(m): 8:33pm On Sep 05, 2015
ilobasama:
No need to waste our time advising you. You are bent on dating and marrying only rich guys. So unfortunate your family is like you too. God forbids, your "rich" bf or husband runs into financial crisis in future, what will you do. ............leave him for another rich dude I guess
I feel yü

2 Likes

Re: I Don't Want To Regret My Decision And Miss Out On What Is For Me. Pls Advice by Nobody: 8:42pm On Sep 05, 2015
UjSizzle:
Thank you smiley
happy birthday uju.
Re: I Don't Want To Regret My Decision And Miss Out On What Is For Me. Pls Advice by UjSizzle(f): 8:45pm On Sep 05, 2015
Epaul:
happy birthday uju.
Thanks Paul kiss
Re: I Don't Want To Regret My Decision And Miss Out On What Is For Me. Pls Advice by jaybee3(m): 8:48pm On Sep 05, 2015
UjSizzle:

Thanks Jay kiss

kiss kiss kiss
Re: I Don't Want To Regret My Decision And Miss Out On What Is For Me. Pls Advice by Nobody: 8:49pm On Sep 05, 2015
UjSizzle:
Thanks Paul kiss
uwc.
Re: I Don't Want To Regret My Decision And Miss Out On What Is For Me. Pls Advice by MrBasketball: 8:53pm On Sep 05, 2015
UjSizzle:
Thank you smiley
Sorry for approach at the first place, never knew today is your birthday.
But that your comment is somehow ill. cry
How I wish I could give you a birthday hug. tongue lipsrsealed
Re: I Don't Want To Regret My Decision And Miss Out On What Is For Me. Pls Advice by Babelinda(f): 8:53pm On Sep 05, 2015
Na wa. Make I hold the poor one wey I see tight.
Re: I Don't Want To Regret My Decision And Miss Out On What Is For Me. Pls Advice by BuddhaPalm(m): 9:06pm On Sep 05, 2015
UjSizzle:

Seriously I give up on your specie on this forum. You never realise how pained men are until you come here and read some half-asssed response to something simple and delicate. And if you check now, most of the people screaming "gold-digger" are undergraduates living with their parents without a penny to their name undecided
For some reason telling people what and what not to desire in another is a specialty of the human race.
You can desire a man for the way he looks but not for his material possession.
How does either choice discount the fact that people will always have specifications when another human is concerned?


Really I give up. I just hope someone has sense enough to answer the question you put up there.



How are you btw?

Go shorty, it's yuh birthday...

HBD my good friend.

You really must have a great fondness for big cocks.
Hope you get to enjoy some today.
Re: I Don't Want To Regret My Decision And Miss Out On What Is For Me. Pls Advice by UjSizzle(f): 9:22pm On Sep 05, 2015
MrBasketball:

Sorry for approach at the first place, never knew today is your birthday.

But that your comment is somehow ill. cry

How I wish I could give you a birthday hug. tongue lipsrsealed
It's ill? Or you think it to be because you fancy the OP a gold-digger? smiley

Apology accepted.

Lol you can imagine giving me a hug wink

1 Like

Re: I Don't Want To Regret My Decision And Miss Out On What Is For Me. Pls Advice by UjSizzle(f): 9:23pm On Sep 05, 2015
BuddhaPalm:


Go shorty, it's yuh birthday...

HBD my good friend.

You really must have a great fondness for big cocks.
Hope you get to enjoy some today.

Thanks!

If you mean Cockerels, yeah I fancy them big tongue
Re: I Don't Want To Regret My Decision And Miss Out On What Is For Me. Pls Advice by UjSizzle(f): 9:24pm On Sep 05, 2015
jaybee3:


kiss kiss kiss
grin Stop textshopping
Re: I Don't Want To Regret My Decision And Miss Out On What Is For Me. Pls Advice by vickylala239: 9:52pm On Sep 05, 2015
Bonita101n2:
I was formerly engaged to a very nice guy who luckily for me was very rich and also got a very good job while we were dating in an oil firm. Unfortunately it did not work out due to external factors (folks). After healing and all, I started to open up again and have and still meeting a lot of men, both rich and not so rich, bad and good etc.

My problem here is that maybe having dated someone that was very rich and also having met and meeting still very rich guy, I'm finding it difficult settling for less. I met this wonderful guy who I'm also attracted to but he is not very rich. Meanwhile, I do have another suitor or two who are extremely rich but I'm not so attracted to them and I know marriage, that attraction is important.

I really like this guy but then again, I start battling with the fact he is not so rich as the previous and the others and what people might say in me settling for less. Even one time he visited, while I was trying to talk to my brother about him, before I could finish, my brother had already said who is this guy that does not seem like he's rich.

It's now making have conflicting feelings and thoughts and I don't want to miss out on a good person but what if I force and maybe get attracted to those other rich suitors but my mind is more on the not so rich.

Please advise sincerely and judging. Thank you.


Wonderz shall never end.

Are u Not a human?

did u Nt go to skool.

Cnt u Wrk n get rich? Mst it b a guy?

why are gels always putting deir self too low.

Why do gels accept to b inferior to guys.Jst read Wat dis one is saying.u wnt a rich guy,d guy Dnt wnt a rich gel.

Ur husbnd to b Dnt Hv money,cnt u work n Mke him Hv,While u Hv ur own.

This is a Mre reason men use u Ppl,Lik piece of shhhit.

Get ur money marry ur Lov,Nt money.

Beware

2 Likes

Re: I Don't Want To Regret My Decision And Miss Out On What Is For Me. Pls Advice by fairygeh(f): 10:20pm On Sep 05, 2015
U
Bonita101n2:



Madam before you gush out all sorts of words, take your time and read before spitting out garb. I'm from a very well to do family and working in a very good firm that peeps find it hard to get into. The benefits are very good in my company ok? I only wrote this to share my dilemma and temptation, not saying the rich ones are bad, I inly said it seems I'm drawn more to the not so rich.

Most of you don't even understand or even read what I had written, just rushed to say all sorts that have no relationship with what I had asked for calling me a gold digger. I am not and will never, ever, ever be a gold digger. I'm sure some of you calling me all sorts of names would at the speed of light pounce on a very rich suitor.

For some of the sincere advices, I truly appreciate, intact I'm still reading them, a lot of your advices are helping me... Let me continue reading all
So if you are from a well to do family,why you shouting rich rich rich like say na curse them curse you with rich,like someone rightly pointed out,one could be rich with a poor/ poverty mentality, you just a gold digger, thats what up bae,deal with it.

2 Likes

Re: I Don't Want To Regret My Decision And Miss Out On What Is For Me. Pls Advice by TCann(m): 10:20pm On Sep 05, 2015
@Op...

You mentioned the word 'rich' 11 good times in your short write-up.

Haba!!! Maka why.

It looks to me that your circle of relations and family (you mentioned your brother's comment) are vain and materialistic...

I doubt it whether that can get you far in marriage.

You sounded like you will easily worship the ground that your 'so called 'big boys' step and hang on every drop of the drooling gibberish from their mouths.

Several factors make people make money and several factors also make people lose money. Its an uncertain world, my dear!

I know someone who started life with 20k salary, 2015 (5 yrs after) owns a house in London at less than 35 years of age, you see, you just can never tell...Your so called very rich guys, 10 years from now, can you ascertain their financial fate??

Of course, its good not to enter the boat with a guy that do not have plans of hitting it big (cos money matters big time, trust me, I can tell you), but most of us come as diamond in the rough...

Just look out for the burning hunger and zeal in him to make it and his concrete and practical efforts towards making it (not those that build their castles in the air, planning to buy houses in Ikoyi without any efforts whatsoever to actualizing that dream) and you will be good to go!!

In conclusion, prayer and God make for the best and lasting choice.

My one kobo!!

All the best

2 Likes

Re: I Don't Want To Regret My Decision And Miss Out On What Is For Me. Pls Advice by Professurr(m): 10:28pm On Sep 05, 2015
Haven't seen them yet. So till then you remain undisputed in that category to me. I also laud the humility in your reply. wink
YourMain:


Awh thank you. I'm sure they're people with much nicer lips on NL though tongue smiley
Re: I Don't Want To Regret My Decision And Miss Out On What Is For Me. Pls Advice by louiskay(m): 10:44pm On Sep 05, 2015
My people una well done ooo..... U ve decided jare.... leave the lover Boi alone and go for Ur Rich Rich dudes....
Oya Let the #Bashin kontinue.....
Re: I Don't Want To Regret My Decision And Miss Out On What Is For Me. Pls Advice by MrBasketball: 10:48pm On Sep 05, 2015
UjSizzle:
It's ill? Or you think it to be because you fancy the OP a gold-digger? smiley
Apology accepted.
Lol you can imagine giving me a hug wink
Can that hug later become physical too? sad
Re: I Don't Want To Regret My Decision And Miss Out On What Is For Me. Pls Advice by Kennedy767(m): 10:51pm On Sep 05, 2015
My dear, the trut is dat,no body or woman want to suffer,dos atraction failed wit tim,and wil failed mor easily if dere is no money,luk at d guy u ar atractd to future plans,,ask hm litle questn abt his future,den conclude urself if dats d life u want to live..tinz wil change wen kids statd comin xpecialy nw dats tinz get hada evry day coz of competition n population....NA 25YRS OLD GAL MARRY BENIN GOVERNOR SO......d truth is dat guy u lov might leads u to sufrin....expensis nwadays is nt easy dear,,jst luk children skul fees,gud house,many mr.
Re: I Don't Want To Regret My Decision And Miss Out On What Is For Me. Pls Advice by tommaxy(f): 11:25pm On Sep 05, 2015
YourMain:
I'm sure you can work to earn money to achieve the lifestyle you want.

You never know what could happen to the rich guy you're not attracted to. He could lose his money then you'll have nothing.

A relationship should consist of both partners bringing something to the table. Go with the not so rich guy and work. That way you can eat your cake and have it.

1 Like

Re: I Don't Want To Regret My Decision And Miss Out On What Is For Me. Pls Advice by UjSizzle(f): 11:32pm On Sep 05, 2015
MrBasketball:


Can that hug later become physical too? sad
If you're a good boy.
Re: I Don't Want To Regret My Decision And Miss Out On What Is For Me. Pls Advice by simi4me(m): 11:38pm On Sep 05, 2015
YourMain:


I'm sure they're loads of sensible girls in Nigeria if you look in the right places. Thank you. smiley

The idiotic ones outweigh the sensible ones.
Re: I Don't Want To Regret My Decision And Miss Out On What Is For Me. Pls Advice by MrBasketball: 11:40pm On Sep 05, 2015
UjSizzle:
If you're a good boy.
Only if you know me... You will definitely know this guy isn't wayward.
Re: I Don't Want To Regret My Decision And Miss Out On What Is For Me. Pls Advice by NemzySeries(m): 11:52pm On Sep 05, 2015
itz unfortunate dat U're still looking for a boifwend material instead of a husband material.......u go tru ur post & see if itz making sense......if U're looking 4 a rich man go to d middle east region of d. world jst like janet Jackson or more stiill marry ur Rich father & brother since d reasonable part of ur brain is revolving round which guy has money & which guy doesn't........slavery mentality(u can't look 4 a man. a make a future wit him rada U're looking for ready-man)
Re: I Don't Want To Regret My Decision And Miss Out On What Is For Me. Pls Advice by DedeNkem: 2:34am On Sep 06, 2015
You want to maintain a lifestyle you can't afford and you're hoping to maintain it from someone's pocket.

If you were rich and also wants a rich partner, that will be understandable but you're not.
So your attitude makes you a gold-digger.

Money is not everything.

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