Ok dis happened like really long ago.
Got drunk. Accused d bus driver who conveyed us of trying to kidnap me. And wen I finally got home. I puked in toilet bowl and pooed on the toilet floor!
Terrible day!!



Ewwww I guess?

wilybebsy:
Mine was de first time i smoked weed, after smokin 2 rap i started cryin, all my guyz were jst confused lookin at me, den 1 asked me dat watz wrong nd i started cryin out loud dat i cnt find my legz, de kind slap wey e giv me ehn cnt 4get

Lies!!!. That joke is as old as nairaland

I was drinking elliot wth my 2 friends in my room until one of them got up nd decided to visit the toilet..we waited for the guy for abt 2hrs thnkn dat maybe he went out to d lounge to chyke sme babes. But only to see d guy sleeping neatly in d toilet...

I was nearly stab by a suyaman for pricing suya of 2k for 200naira, if not for a frnd, walai dat nite for no funny but at least I ended d day in my mum's kitchen. Dat was exactly a decade ago.

i have decided nt 2 drink again because of d experience 1 of ma friends had-Dere was a particular evening we went 2 d bar,me knowing ma limit ordered 4 just 1 bottle of origin,bt d guy wanted 2 show dat he'z a professional in taking alcohol... so,he took 3 bottles of trophy& 2 bottles of red label.....after some mins,he started fighting kungfu inside d bar,b4 pple wil notice us we stylishly took him outside wea he started d kungfu display in full...we recorded d video.we managed 2 take him 2 d hostel,dat ws wea he started d real performance.... wen we were abt 2 reach d gate,a she goat passed by,then, he started shouting in yoruba language dat he wants 2 Bleep a goat(mo fe do ewure)..it was very funny,he started 2 unzip his trousers,dat ws wen we knw say na confirmed yawa b dat....we carried him&took him 2 his room&we locked d door...wen he woke around 2pm d next day...we showed him his recorded performance d previous day&he was dumbfounded.... he vowed neva 2 take alcohol again.

bussieboi:


I v one jd we cn share here

. Tnk u. I no want

dexcira:
. Tnk u. I no want

my 1st time wud av put me in serious shit, somehow wat shud av apend dint

Aparently I toasted a chick and she said yes. I woke up the next morning to a call from her and I didn't even remember ever meeting her...

bussieboi:


my 1st time wud av put me in serious shit, somehow wat shud av apend dint

. Hehehe u get luck

alcohol mehnnn after my final paper we had a get together in my lodge I drank jack Daniels mixed with black bullet mehn I was so drunk I kissed my best friend's gf.. imagine way they DJ was playing all of me and am dancing shakiti bobo.. it wasn't funny my friends had a video of my performance.. I invented dance steps that day and I saw a clips of me pouring don Simon inside the white top my landlady soaked... the next day I couldn't leave my room I was do embarrassed I had to go and beg my landlady and she was just laughing very hard and telling me all I said to her... she said she had never seen anyone that crazy before... I swore never to take alcohol again but finally shayo na bastard

Alright, so it was January 1, 2014. We just arrived from church. It was few minutes to 1am. After driving into the compound. I went straight to my room, got into my stash and rolled me a big ass blunt as per say na first blunt of the year. Everyone went into their rooms to crash except for my liltle brother who was playing video games on the computer. So I got out of the house and went to the back of my room to light up, on some 'puff puff no pass' shii. I'd normally do it in my room since it was midnight but I didn't want to get caught since it was weed and not skunk cos someone might just wake up and smell it.

As I was doing my thing, that's how I heard my dad's voice, he was asking my little brother where I was. I was appalled, I kept wondering why the old man would be looking for me up and down and not trying to get some sleep. I could hear him and my brother open the door to my room, they checked the bathroom as well..even went on to check the guest room lol. They then came outside the house to check the compound. I was just panicking, I killed the blunt minutes ago but I couldn't go into the house cos I was afraid they'd smell the weed on me. So I just chilled where I was at the back of my room, went on my knees and pretended as if I was praying. They soon saw me cos of the security light at the back of my room. They both went back inside quietly lol. Soon as they were inside, I lit my blunt back hehehe.
I'd never forget that day

my first high ( stoning) , when the effect came, I took my friend to a corner and start WHISPERING lol. Told him I might die and stuff.
Then I went inside, put on the electric stove and placed an empty pot on it. Guys my eyes don close so tay, I dey find Garri wen dey ground, I no fit see am.

It was scary. Then when I relax to enjoy the trips, I felt like I could bounce to the sky.

Hahah. Then I had the most peaceful sleep.

MrImole:
I went to a party with my friends and we were looking for one of our friends, we were so wasted that we didn't realize that he was there with us, looking for him, he was even shouting his own name as he was looking for himself.

hhhahahaahahahahahha.....wasted men

on d 13th of dis month I went 4 a fellow corper's bday which wuz sponsored by a custom officer.....i & d celebrant drank virtually frm all d brands of shayo ranging frm black bullet,blue bullet,smirn off, andre,Goldberg etc I ended up speaking hausa d whole dat managed to walk home. were & pooed on ma body & recovered frm d hangover 2days l8r....d worst part wuz wen I saw dd video coverage, mehn it wuz horrible dat I saw ma sef chewing raw leaves. & Raw yam.......it wud av bin beta if it wuz a sextape. sef

KaBabs1:
. So I just chilled where I was at the back of my room, went on my knees and pretended as if I was praying. They soon saw me cos of the security light at the back of my room. They both went back inside quietly lol. Soon as they were inside, I lit my blunt back hehehe.
I'd never forget that day

The funniest I have read this year.

i proposed to d girl next to me...

Lalasticlala