noblegrex:
I wonder ooo.maybe she's even thinking she's more beutiful, taller or even older than he even better still,be in her position and she's sending her on an errand na wa oooo!!

no mind her

Yes, the maid has a bad attitude but in my opinion, there is nothing you can do about it.

I washed my clothes yesterday and they didn't dry properly but I couldn't leave them out this morning, so I hung them round the house. If my brother had been at home, he would have known to pack them when rain fell this evening. Sometimes, the landlord's niece packs all the clothes when it rains and sometimes she doesn't. I didn't want to take the risk. Same situation at my former place, my neighbour packed sometimes and I did same for him.

So, my question is: If you were living in a house, where no one would pack for you, what would you do as regards washing? Apply your answer to the family house.

I am going to assume, the maid is an adult; when this incident happened; did you approach her? Remember, she isn't your maid. Something like 'Laide, se a nja ni, you didn't help me pack my clothes, ko da oh' Finish!
She might not reply, but she'd be a bit ashamed and might help you next time or not. You could even call home, (get her number if she has one) when it's about to rain and plead that she helps you pack your clothes. Remember, some women give new women neighbours, the cold shoulder till they start warming up later.

My younger sister always did even though, I would pack all the clothes; she still called to plead.

As for greetings, sister forget it! Not everyone would greet you. I already reply enough greetings that sometimes, I'd like to be left alone to my thoughts.
If I ever stayed in a family house with a maid like that; I'd probably 'how far' her till she got tired.
If you are yoruba, then salutations no dey finish for una mouth na. 'Laide, ku se' whilst passing her on the stairs. 'Laide, how far?' 'Laide, how is daddy?' 'Laide, o ma fine leni' Laide...laide...laide' Fill in the blank spaces.

Take it easy, life o di kwa too short

Kimoni:


I laugh in Swahili

True true, you be new bride. Shior

You are about to start your married life in a family house with a brother-in-law and his wife as well as your sick father-in-law and the only thing that bothers you is the maid because she doesn't greet you

Hehehehehe sorry o, madam the madam

Do you have a job? Pls get busy with work such that you won't even have the time to notice who is greeting you or who is not. If you were living alone, who would have taken your clothes off the line?

My dear, get your priorities right. The maid is not yours, face your husband and stop behaving like madam in a house that's not yours.

***modified - I went back to read your post, I honestly think you have bigger issues. You are not even married to him yet and you authoritatively want the maid gone cuz she calls you by name I just hope you don't scatter that family before you finally get married to him sorry for my harsh words oo but you have personal issues you need to resolve asap

100+ likes, she sure has superiority complex issues.

The person she's referring to as maid is most likely an health care-giver employed to take care of an ailing old man. But madam the madam expects her to run errands for her alongside her other responsibilities. She really needs to get herself busy

Pls, respect yourself before a maid disgraces you and show how intolerant you are as a person. Mind your own business..Must she greet you? Is it cos she is a maid? Abeg, marry your husband and take your busybody eye away from the maid.

noblegrex:
I wonder ooo.maybe she's even thinking she's more beutiful, taller or even older than he even better still,be in her position and she's sending her on an errand na wa oooo!!

I said she was hired her this year. I have been with him for seven years.

In fact, I can see that you are even the troublesome one and not the maid. Every other person likes her and your would be husband told you to manage things until he gets his own place and you are here ranting. You are not even married and you want to destroy a home you met.

The problem is you and I can see you are not a good person. The poor girl you met and you want to get rid of her goes to show how wicked you are even as you are yet married to the family. She does not greet you. Who the hell are you for you to wanna have someone greet you? Are you the one that employed her? You are just a wicked person.

For now, she draws her 'authority' from your husband's brother, as such, your husband should table it before his brother, and have him give her new sets of instructions that would reset her head, and force her to take several seats.

Maid or no maid, I condemn disrespect in every form. No one will come into my home and display their lack of respect for people. They will leave all forms of nasties outside my door.

What was the contract signed by the maid... was it to serve the whole household or the sick dad?

Woman, I see u bringing trouble in that house cause of flimsy issues. You that is yet to be a wife, how many messages do they send you? Because she be maid no mean say na slave trade treatment u go gv am.

ima30:
Hello. I have been with my guy for five years now. We are getting married next year. The thing is we are going to live in his family house, with his extended family. I didn't like the idea but I found a way to accept it seeing as its quite comfy and it means we won't have to worry about rent. Its basically a two bedroom apartment. The only thing I share with the rest of the family is back yard and staircase. He said we would do three years while he is building his own house.

His elder brother who is married lives in that same building. It's the maid THEY hired this year to take care of their sick dad, that worries me. The mom is late. She is very disrespectful to me. So many things happen and when he speaks to her about it, she won't bulge. All because it was the elder brother that interviewed her so she doesn't listen to almost anyone else. I spoke to my guy that I would not live with a maid that has not greeted me for almost a year or has no regard for my home or wouldn't obey him. He said he can't tell her to go because she is close to his brother's wife and she takes care of his dad.

This may sound petty but it's serious. All this family house wahala, if I tell him to rent a house he would say I'm not appreciating all his efforts to make sure we marry next year. I did laundry the other day came back and met the clothes soaked on the clothing line with all the rain that fell, meanwhile she brought in every other persons cloth inside. It might not be a big deal, but I don't want to resent any body I live with in my future home.

I need that maid gone, how do I get rid of her? The worst part is that since they all live together, he needs his brother's approval before he does almost anything, if I complain it would seem as if I wanna cause friction between both brothers. But there has been cases where changes were made by his brother and my guy wasn't even consulted. The maid before her was paid by my guy for two years straight, she didn't insult anybody. She left cuz his brother told him to sack her. That their father needed better attention and she wasn't a good cook. Na so my guy sack the girl. No question. They brought this one now and my guy paid for some month's and stopped because she was rude to him and me. His bro has been paying since. But my guy still pays nepa bills and those other things to run the house. Yet when he talks to this maid she won't listen.

How do I get her go? I don't like her one bit. She just basically work for the brother and his wife. I can't even send he to buy me matches. She calls me by name, would not greet. My guy told her to stop all these things, she still didn't listen. Please.

The best thing is to live as though u have no maid. Don't allow yourself get hurt by thinking about the things she ought to do and did not do. Stop telling /complaining to anyone not even your husband.
See her as an unfriendly neighbor. Ur neighbors may not greet u not take in ur clothes for u.

Live happy, forget her, live happier.

Are you staying or Living with a guy that you are not yet married to?

And

you are complaining about a maid in the family.

for now, if you stay with them you should be doing the work of the maid and not your husband to be paying for it.

when you now become the wife, then you will not want to see the whole family because they offended you.

it isn't that easy girl. Grow up.

Gaborone:
For now, she draws her 'authority' from your husband's brother, as such, your husband should table it before his brother, and have him give her new sets of instructions that would reset her head, and force her to take several seats.

Maid or no maid, I condemn disrespect in every form. No one will come into my home and display their lack of respect for people. They will leave all forms of nasties outside my door.

How do you know the maid is disrespectful, because the OP said so.

@OP, reading through 90% of comments here should awaken you to the realities.

How will you be complaining over a person you didn't employ.

After reading at first I went bk to re read and I noticed u guys r nt married yet and u hv alreadi resumed ur duty as a housewife...dnt misundastnd mi buh I guess d maid have evry right to disrespect u cos u r doing dat to ursef by leaving in d house wen u guys r still planning to get married #SMH#

My dear, we don't know the exact situation in that house. If you feel you cannot live without a maid due to reasons best known to you such as the nature of your job, then please get one. I'm sure you and hour husband to be can afford it. That way there may be peace.

Also, I wish you well in that household. Do your best to be in good terms with everyone but you must know it may not be easy because people are different, even blood sisters. But you must be determined to make it work. Also, pray hard.

Kayoski:
op the maid wants you out just as u want her out....

I bet There is something fishy goin on in that house that the maid dosnt want you to know...maybe she feels threatenend by you...

You sure say either your guy or ur brother in-law to be no get something intimate with her?

Do your investigation...over to u, I rest my case

Bros, u go Sabi scatter family oo! Chai!

Sowie to say, ur guy is somehow weak,if ur guy cannot command respect for U from d house maid u re paying,it seems he cannot defend U if other people re going against. A man must b a man.

nkowaputa:

Bros, u go Sabi scatter family oo! Chai!

na wetin me reason for the matter... This is the best time to sort this matter b4 she become wife.. I talk my own fa..

xp17:
@ima30, i think the problem here is first impression. Maybe the first time you saw or was introduced to the maid, your body language was like "this one na COMMON maid" . you may have forgotten, but she'll never. If that be the case, try to drop your ego and initiate a greeting or a conversation with her . your mind now be like " how will i first greet ORDINARY maid".

The only solution here is to make her like you, since you can't kick her out. Everything was going on well just before your arrival, anything otherwise will be your fault, because the only change here is you. If she leaves because of you, be ready to assume the duty of the new maid, after all you re the new wife and has to prove something to the family.

If your ego is so strong that you think she isn't in your class, just kindly ingnore her and focus on your marriage. The problem with most folks that live in 3rd world countries is, they see their employees as something inferior. One thing you have to know is, she might be a maid in your house, but she works for a living and has earn the right to be respected.

Respect is reciprocal, you get what you earn.

Please she was employed this year. I have been in my relationship for five years. I m not a baby. Her attitude changed because she was scolded by my guy for doing something wrong. The house is being run by my guy and his brother. They both have their responsibilties. They employed her to help with their dad and do other errands around the home. She should be respectful to every visitor. But she isn't. She doesn't call any vistor by their name not even their youngest sister. I m talking about disrespect here. I m not delusional. I have a shop, I have had one sales girl for almost two years. So I know how to treat people and employees. Pls. Y'all 've taken this wrongly. There has been maids before her, disrespect has never been a problem. If I tolerate it now, is it when we marry there would be sudden change. I know what I m saying pls. Thanks for the good advice.

OBAGADAFFI:


How do you know the maid is disrespectful, because the OP said so.

If we always have to confirm the veracity or otherwise of such posts from the e-thirdparties, communication would shut down na. So, I had no choice but to give advice based on what was posted here. If the op is misrepresenting facts, she's on her own.

funkyglitz:
After reading at first I went bk to re read and I noticed u guys r nt married yet and u hv alreadi resumed ur duty as a housewife...dnt misundastnd mi buh I guess d maid have evry right to disrespect u cos u r doing dat to ursef by leaving in d house wen u guys r still planning to get married #SMH#

I don't live in the house. I visit.

Kimoni:


I laugh in Swahili

True true, you be new bride. Shior

You are about to start your married life in a family house with a brother-in-law and his wife as well as your sick father-in-law and the only thing that bothers you is the maid because she doesn't greet you

Hehehehehe sorry o, madam the madam

Do you have a job? Pls get busy with work such that you won't even have the time to notice who is greeting you or who is not. If you were living alone, who would have taken your clothes off the line?

My dear, get your priorities right. The maid is not yours, face your husband and stop behaving like madam in a house that's not yours.

***modified - I went back to read your post, I honestly think you have bigger issues. You are not even married to him yet and you authoritatively want the maid gone cuz she calls you by name I just hope you don't scatter that family before you finally get married to him sorry for my harsh words oo but you have personal issues you need to resolve asap

You are the best. [quote][/quote][right][/right]

Most respondents have assumed that the OP lives with her guy. This is not so. In her post, she said they will be living there after they are married not that they are living there now. Maybe the fiance is, but she is not at the moment. For those that this erroneous assumption has informed your response, you may wish to readdress the issue now that you have the correct information.

That being said, I like the comment by one poster about the elder brother addressing the issue. The thing is that once this lady is married, she becomes family and the maid becomes more difficult to ignore especially if the house shares more than a staircase and backyard sometimes.

I feel the issue should be addressed. A maid is employed to work and should be respectful to all in the discharge of her duties including even visitors. She cannot choose who to respect or not. The fiancee stopped paying part of her salary due to the disrespect which means he was paying previously. So posters who have said the OP deserves no respect cos she is not paying should take note that even when the fiance was paying, that did not help the issue. The issue must be confronted in earnest

searching4loove:

I HATE NIGERIAN GIRLS. I HATE NIGERIAN WOMEN

the most complicated nd selfish being in creation NIGERIAN WOMEN....... They r dia own sworn enemies, guys avoid such ladies as dis, i wish i knw her husband to be, dia is a lot to tok abt, dis is the kind dt will wake d husband in d middle of d night later in future to tell him she doesnt like d way her broda's wife doesnt greet him, bfore u knw it family don divide. God dnt let dis kind come near me

Just comot cloth fight her.and make sure iys I front of every1 o.comot pant also.OLODO

melodytoda:
Most respondents have assumed that the OP lives with her guy. This is not so. In her post, she said they will be living there after they are married not that they are living there now. Maybe the fiance is, but she is not at the moment. For those that this erroneous assumption has informed your response, you may wish to readdress the issue now that you have the correct information.

That being said, I like the comment by one poster about the elder brother addressing the issue. The thing is that once this lady is married, she becomes family and the maid becomes more difficult to ignore especially if the house shares more than a staircase and backyard sometimes.

I feel the issue should be addressed. A maid is employed to work and should be respectful to all in the discharge of her duties including even visitors. She cannot choose who to respect or not. The fiancee stopped paying part of her salary due to the disrespect which means he was paying previously. So posters who have said the OP deserves no respect cos she is not paying should take note that even when the fiance was paying, that did not help the issue. The issue must be confronted in earnest

Wow. Thank you very much. You have understood me more than my boyfriend sef. People don't read to understand anymore. Thanks. Please advice me, I want your beautiful advice.

eightsin:
What was the contract signed by the maid... was it to serve the whole household or the sick dad?

Woman, I see u bringing trouble in that house cause of flimsy issues. You that is yet to be a wife, how many messages do they send you? Because she be maid no mean say na slave trade treatment u go gv am.

thank you!

sonofananimal:
thank you!

I didn't say I send her on errands oo. Some people can't read sha.

Gaborone:
For now, she draws her 'authority' from your husband's brother, as such, your husband should table it before his brother, and have him give her new sets of instructions that would reset her head, and force her to take several seats.

Maid or no maid, I condemn disrespect in every form. No one will come into my home and display their lack of respect for people. They will leave all forms of nasties outside my door.

fighter!

Which authority did you want her to draw

The moment you start seeing someone lesser than you, that's your very down FALL! That maid is just an human who deserve respect. An ant cannot come into a bee hive and started commanding the bee.

ima30:


I said she was hired her this year. I have been with him for seven years.

sorry woman,I understand how it feels when you're ignored by someone you feel or think is below your class or worth.but the truth of the matter is;focus on yourself and pretend as if she never existed.no thick skin,no malice just leave her alone.but if you must talk to her,watch yourself and change your approach.I'm not saying you should belittle yourself,but act normal.

[quote author=ima30 post=39857174]

I didn't say I send her on errands oo. Some people can't read sha.

[qoute]can't even send she to buy me matches. She calls me by name, would not greet[/qoute].

Your mind has already been preconceive to send her on an errands. Cos she show some form of resistance, that's why you want to get RAID of her.

Comon! We are not kids here we know how this things work