ITbomb:
Women and wahala
You can stay with a guy for years no issue but once a woman enters wahala burst.

From experience, whenever a maid is getting stubborn, it means someone is getting laid

malton:
Firstly, you should approach her, bring up gist a couple of times and watch her reaction. Im guessing is just a lack of communication, maybe she isn't much or a talker. Nothing more.
But if its affirmed that it's you she doesn't like, then get your bf to talk his brother into sacking her. Sack her! Your brother in law being a married man himself, should understand you guy's concerns.
Do this, otherwise, she will dent your image before his family as she doesn't like you.
And if your brother in law refuses, it will only mean that he has a thing for her hidden somewhere...
No sane person will sacrifice family over some maid he isn't even sure where her loyalty lies.

TDstarr:
SORRY TO SAY BUT YOU SEEM LIKE A TROUBLE MAKER I KNEW WHEN YOU SAID YOUR GUY DOES NOT DO ANYTHING WITHOUT HIS ELDER BROTHERS KNOWING I SEE NOTHING WRONG THERE... IT'S HIS ELDER BROTHERS UNLESS YOU WANT TO BE THE ONE TO bring TROUBLE IN THE HOUSE AND IT'S NOT YOUR MAID SO FOCUS ON YOUR OWN LIFE... Biko... The way you narrated it... Looks like everything was going smoothly before you came.. Calm down and adapt... A real woman uses wisdom to act

VivaVivre:
@bolded, who told you so? I know of many cases where ekaete the housemaid became ekaete the housewife. Beware my dear, strange things are happening in this strange world. This op never even marry the said guy, so her chances are truly slim. Perhaps the housemaid is very pretty too, hence the insecurity and desperate need for dominance and superiority.

searching4loove:

I HATE NIGERIAN GIRLS. I HATE NIGERIAN WOMEN

Ur problem pass Op own

ima30:
Hello. I have been with my guy for five years now. We are getting married next year. The thing is we are going to live in his family house, with his extended family. I didn't like the idea but I found a way to accept it seeing as its quite comfy and it means we won't have to worry about rent. Its basically a two bedroom apartment. The only thing I share with the rest of the family is back yard and staircase. He said we would do three years while he is building his own house.

His elder brother who is married lives in that same building. It's the maid THEY hired this year to take care of their sick dad, that worries me. The mom is late. She is very disrespectful to me. So many things happen and when he speaks to her about it, she won't bulge. All because it was the elder brother that interviewed her so she doesn't listen to almost anyone else. I spoke to my guy that I would not live with a maid that has not greeted me for almost a year or has no regard for my home or wouldn't obey him. He said he can't tell her to go because she is close to his brother's wife and she takes care of his dad.

This may sound petty but it's serious. All this family house wahala, if I tell him to rent a house he would say I'm not appreciating all his efforts to make sure we marry next year. I did laundry the other day came back and met the clothes soaked on the clothing line with all the rain that fell, meanwhile she brought in every other persons cloth inside. It might not be a big deal, but I don't want to resent any body I live with in my future home.

I need that maid gone, how do I get rid of her? The worst part is that since they all live together, he needs his brother's approval before he does almost anything, if I complain it would seem as if I wanna cause friction between both brothers. But there has been cases where changes were made by his brother and my guy wasn't even consulted. The maid before her was paid by my guy for two years straight, she didn't insult anybody. She left cuz his brother told him to sack her. That their father needed better attention and she wasn't a good cook. Na so my guy sack the girl. No question. They brought this one now and my guy paid for some month's and stopped because she was rude to him and me. His bro has been paying since. But my guy still pays nepa bills and those other things to run the house. Yet when he talks to this maid she won't listen.

How do I get her go? I don't like her one bit. She just basically work for the brother and his wife. I can't even send he to buy me matches. She calls me by name, would not greet. My guy told her to stop all these things, she still didn't listen. Please.

ima30:
Hello. I have been with my guy for five years now. We are getting married next year. The thing is we are going to live in his family house, with his extended family. I didn't like the idea but I found a way to accept it seeing as its quite comfy and it means we won't have to worry about rent. Its basically a two bedroom apartment. The only thing I share with the rest of the family is back yard and staircase. He said we would do three years while he is building his own house.

His elder brother who is married lives in that same building. It's the maid THEY hired this year to take care of their sick dad, that worries me. The mom is late. She is very disrespectful to me. So many things happen and when he speaks to her about it, she won't bulge. All because it was the elder brother that interviewed her so she doesn't listen to almost anyone else. I spoke to my guy that I would not live with a maid that has not greeted me for almost a year or has no regard for my home or wouldn't obey him. He said he can't tell her to go because she is close to his brother's wife and she takes care of his dad.

This may sound petty but it's serious. All this family house wahala, if I tell him to rent a house he would say I'm not appreciating all his efforts to make sure we marry next year. I did laundry the other day came back and met the clothes soaked on the clothing line with all the rain that fell, meanwhile she brought in every other persons cloth inside. It might not be a big deal, but I don't want to resent any body I live with in my future home.

I need that maid gone, how do I get rid of her? The worst part is that since they all live together, he needs his brother's approval before he does almost anything, if I complain it would seem as if I wanna cause friction between both brothers. But there has been cases where changes were made by his brother and my guy wasn't even consulted. The maid before her was paid by my guy for two years straight, she didn't insult anybody. She left cuz his brother told him to sack her. That their father needed better attention and she wasn't a good cook. Na so my guy sack the girl. No question. They brought this one now and my guy paid for some month's and stopped because she was rude to him and me. His bro has been paying since. But my guy still pays nepa bills and those other things to run the house. Yet when he talks to this maid she won't listen.

How do I get her go? I don't like her one bit. She just basically work for the brother and his wife. I can't even send he to buy me matches. She calls me by name, would not greet. My guy told her to stop all these things, she still didn't listen. Please.

jannies:
I don't know what the true story might be, but based on what the Op said, I think there's something up with that maid. For all of you insulting the op and siding the maid would you tell me if that if you have a kid in the house that selects who to greet and who to help you would be comfortable? Let's stop pretending please! The fact that she packs up every one else but that op's clothes on the line shows there's an intentional war. That maid is wrong. You all heard the op say she changed when her husband to be corrected her for something wrong she did and he even had to stop paying her salary. To me, that was where they should have sent her out of that house, whether maid or worker in the office, we must be subject to authorities above us. @ Op your husband to be is in a better position to cry this out but it seems he's non chalant about this, my opinion is you get a maid for your self if you need one once you get married, you can't even risk leaving your kid running around d house with that maid when you step out if she couldn't pack your mere clothes from the rain. Staying in a family house and with in laws might not be as easy as you think, and you might stay longer than 3 years there too. My advice is you need to learn to be patient and tolerant and prayerful too. this is just a maid issue u noticing. What if his brother, wife or dad starts their own issues when you move in? Trust me you must experience some issues like that in marriage. You have a shop running thank God for that please get prepared to get more busy with it, and pray you have your kids on time to keep you more busy! God bless your union

searching4loove:

I HATE NIGERIAN GIRLS. I HATE NIGERIAN WOMEN

malton:
Firstly, you should approach her, bring up gist a couple of times and watch her reaction. Im guessing is just a lack of communication, maybe she isn't much or a talker. Nothing more.
But if its affirmed that it's you she doesn't like, then get your bf to talk his brother into sacking her. Sack her! Your brother in law being a married man himself, should understand you guy's concerns.
Do this, otherwise, she will dent your image before his family as she doesn't like you.
And if your brother in law refuses, it will only mean that he has a thing for her hidden somewhere...
No sane person will sacrifice family over some maid he isn't even sure where her loyalty lies.

jannies:
I don't know what the true story might be, but based on what the Op said, I think there's something up with that maid. For all of you insulting the op and siding the maid would you tell me if that if you have a kid in the house that selects who to greet and who to help you would be comfortable? Let's stop pretending please! The fact that she packs up every one else but that op's clothes on the line shows there's an intentional war. That maid is wrong. You all heard the op say she changed when her husband to be corrected her for something wrong she did and he even had to stop paying her salary. To me, that was where they should have sent her out of that house, whether maid or worker in the office, we must be subject to authorities above us. @ Op your husband to be is in a better position to cry this out but it seems he's non chalant about this, my opinion is you get a maid for your self if you need one once you get married, you can't even risk leaving your kid running around d house with that maid when you step out if she couldn't pack your mere clothes from the rain. Staying in a family house and with in laws might not be as easy as you think, and you might stay longer than 3 years there too. My advice is you need to learn to be patient and tolerant and prayerful too. this is just a maid issue u noticing. What if his brother, wife or dad starts their own issues when you move in? Trust me you must experience some issues like that in marriage. You have a shop running thank God for that please get prepared to get more busy with it, and pray you have your kids on time to keep you more busy! God bless your union

ima30:
Hello. I have been with my guy for five years now. We are getting married next year. The thing is we are going to live in his family house, with his extended family. I didn't like the idea but I found a way to accept it seeing as its quite comfy and it means we won't have to worry about rent. Its basically a two bedroom apartment. The only thing I share with the rest of the family is back yard and staircase. He said we would do three years while he is building his own house.

His elder brother who is married lives in that same building. It's the maid THEY hired this year to take care of their sick dad, that worries me. The mom is late. She is very disrespectful to me. So many things happen and when he speaks to her about it, she won't bulge. All because it was the elder brother that interviewed her so she doesn't listen to almost anyone else. I spoke to my guy that I would not live with a maid that has not greeted me for almost a year or has no regard for my home or wouldn't obey him. He said he can't tell her to go because she is close to his brother's wife and she takes care of his dad.

This may sound petty but it's serious. All this family house wahala, if I tell him to rent a house he would say I'm not appreciating all his efforts to make sure we marry next year. I did laundry the other day came back and met the clothes soaked on the clothing line with all the rain that fell, meanwhile she brought in every other persons cloth inside. It might not be a big deal, but I don't want to resent any body I live with in my future home.

I need that maid gone, how do I get rid of her? The worst part is that since they all live together, he needs his brother's approval before he does almost anything, if I complain it would seem as if I wanna cause friction between both brothers. But there has been cases where changes were made by his brother and my guy wasn't even consulted. The maid before her was paid by my guy for two years straight, she didn't insult anybody. She left cuz his brother told him to sack her. That their father needed better attention and she wasn't a good cook. Na so my guy sack the girl. No question. They brought this one now and my guy paid for some month's and stopped because she was rude to him and me. His bro has been paying since. But my guy still pays nepa bills and those other things to run the house. Yet when he talks to this maid she won't listen.

How do I get her go? I don't like her one bit. She just basically work for the brother and his wife. I can't even send he to buy me matches. She calls me by name, would not greet. My guy told her to stop all these things, she still didn't listen. Please.

shogz89:
you are just assuming.. Do you know the age of the op and the maid.. The maid could be older than the op, but just because she's a maid she wants aunty or madam added to her name and she's not am authority above the maid. Or does she pay her salary.. She's a girl friend a visitor in that house as far as am concerned until she's married

tonyobj:
Why come to lament on Nairaland? Show him how serious you are by packing all your belongings out of his house. Must he be the one you get married to? Don't you have a family of your own in the same state? Any time he wants to see you then he should come look for you at your place.

mentorandfriend:
You spoke my mind. Insurbodination is as deadly as witchcraft. She selects who to greet and who to help bring in dried clothes for; and she knows its a family house. We should condemn this attitude joor.

I wont be surprised if the elder brother is getting laid by her.

Whenever a maid begins to act this way, an authority figure is getting laid.

shogz89:
you are just assuming.. Do you know the age of the op and the maid.. The maid could be older than the op, but just because she's a maid she wants aunty or madam added to her name and she's not am authority above the maid. Or does she pay her salary.. She's a girl friend a visitor in that house as far as am concerned until she's married

sholay2011:
Wow....I am shocked at the comments here.

So, because it wasn't the OP that employed the maid, she doesn't deserve to be respected? And if she gets married and moves in now, and then issues start arising, same OP will be criticised by nairalanders for not sorting the issues out first before getting married into a family home.

And she saying the maid (albeit consciously) refused to pack her clothes from the line does not mean she spreads her cloth on the line for the maid to pack it. Situations arise...you are not around and then a heavy rainfall starts and you hope the maid who I assume is mostly at home may help. It is vexing if she intentionally packs all the clothes on the line and leaves yours. That's just purely being rude. This is not about master-servant respect...the maid even lacks human-to-human respect for her.

OP, your fiance is the problem here in my opinion. If the maid can even be rude to him, dear, your case is no biggie for her.

Nigerians and hypocrisy. As if all the commenters here treat people right in their daily lives. I don't know the OP but let's assume she's even a 'difficult ' person, she rather knows herself and is trying to avoid any cause of ruckus in a fresh marriage just because of a maid.

I don't see why she should be called an evil person by people who lack comprehension.

ima30:
Hello. I have been with my guy for five years now. We are getting married next year. The thing is we are going to live in his family house, with his extended family. I didn't like the idea but I found a way to accept it seeing as its quite comfy and it means we won't have to worry about rent. Its basically a two bedroom apartment. The only thing I share with the rest of the family is back yard and staircase. He said we would do three years while he is building his own house.

His elder brother who is married lives in that same building. It's the maid THEY hired this year to take care of their sick dad, that worries me. The mom is late. She is very disrespectful to me. So many things happen and when he speaks to her about it, she won't bulge. All because it was the elder brother that interviewed her so she doesn't listen to almost anyone else. I spoke to my guy that I would not live with a maid that has not greeted me for almost a year or has no regard for my home or wouldn't obey him. He said he can't tell her to go because she is close to his brother's wife and she takes care of his dad.

This may sound petty but it's serious. All this family house wahala, if I tell him to rent a house he would say I'm not appreciating all his efforts to make sure we marry next year. I did laundry the other day came back and met the clothes soaked on the clothing line with all the rain that fell, meanwhile she brought in every other persons cloth inside. It might not be a big deal, but I don't want to resent any body I live with in my future home.

I need that maid gone, how do I get rid of her? The worst part is that since they all live together, he needs his brother's approval before he does almost anything, if I complain it would seem as if I wanna cause friction between both brothers. But there has been cases where changes were made by his brother and my guy wasn't even consulted. The maid before her was paid by my guy for two years straight, she didn't insult anybody. She left cuz his brother told him to sack her. That their father needed better attention and she wasn't a good cook. Na so my guy sack the girl. No question. They brought this one now and my guy paid for some month's and stopped because she was rude to him and me. His bro has been paying since. But my guy still pays nepa bills and those other things to run the house. Yet when he talks to this maid she won't listen.

How do I get her go? I don't like her one bit. She just basically work for the brother and his wife. I can't even send he to buy me matches. She calls me by name, would not greet. My guy told her to stop all these things, she still didn't listen. Please.