OP why dont u just mind your biz and 4get about that maid .........My mind dey tell me say either the elder bro or sick papa dey nyash dat maid

[quote author=Kayoski post=39854757]op the maid wants you out just as u want her out....

I bet There is something fishy goin on in that house that the maid dosnt want you to know...maybe she feels threatenend by you...

You sure say either your guy or ur brother in-law to be no get something intimate with her?

Do your investigation...over to u, I rest my case[/quote
Are you trying to say her guys prolly is pompoing the maid or has pompoed her? ]

You are not even in the marriage yet and you want someone else out from a family you want to spend the rest of your life with! What if your guy calls it quit seeing one or two negative side of you? My dear try as much as possible to be accommodating and stop fault-finding cos it will lead you nowhere. Love them all and try and understand that everyone has a negative side to life including you so, you should learn tolerance and move on with your life shekinah!

Nihilist:
Mumu wan send maid to buy matches. Mumu is looking for greetings from the maid. Mumu wants maid to bring in her clothes when it is raining.

Mumu does not pay maid's salary.

Sometimes It beats my imagination how people could be so illogical.
A common girlfriend like you want to maid out! Just for flimsy reasons. Mehn i hope you don't bring that family down.

#women!

ima30:


I said she was hired her this year. I have been with him for seven years.

Even if she was hired today. Even if your are a member of the interview panel sef...Trust me you are not a member of the family yet so respect yourself. I repeat respect yourself before the maid will show the family how intolerable you can be.

You live there? I'm sure the maid is just appalled by the foundation you're laying. You could at least let him marry you properly before you proceed to moving in with your boyfriend in his brother's house. Maybe then she'll accord you respect, as a family member. PS: I hope you guys get married. Congrats in advance are in order, I suppose.

She's already showing signs of a bad wife. I wish her husband good luck

I don't live there, I only visit. I hv been visiting for seven years. She was employed this year. I have never had any issue with family, friend or helps. She was employed by both brothers to help with the father and do little things around the home. She should respect their visitors and treat her work accordingly. Simple. My guy scolded her for doing something wrong, the next time I visited I greeted her she didn't reply. I didn't say anything, it wasn't an issue. She spoke to me rudely after then, she transferred aggression cuz she knew she could not do anything about my guy scolding her. I didn't reply her, I spoke to my guy, even his dad n bro told her she was rude. And since that moment, she has been disrespectful when she can. She greets every body that walks in to that house, she doesn't refer to anybody on a first name basis, wether visitor or family. So I know her attitude to me is disrespectful. My guy spoke to her about it she hasn't burged, if what I Complained about was outrageous he won't talk to her. Even he knows she is disrespectful intentionally. I work as a secretary, I don't refer to my boss's visitors on a first name basis until I m told otherwise. I understand my office and I respect it. Even if a visitor does something unruly today doesn't mean I would see him tomorrow and call him John instead of Mr John. I m not delusional. Like I said before my sales girl is almost two years with me, security at home is three years. I know how to treat people. Thanks for y'all that adviced with out being insulting and calling me wicked. I can't say every single thing that's happens, i know I m not a wife yet, what I won't tolerate in marriage I won't tolerate in my relationship. Thanks.

Itsmenyou:
You live there? I'm sure the maid is just appalled by the foundation you're laying. You could at least let him marry you properly before you proceed to moving in with your boyfriend in his brother's house. Maybe then she'll accord you respect, as a family member. PS: I hope you guys get married. Congrats in advance are in order, I suppose.

I don't live there. The laundry wey I do sef was my guys own. Not my dresses. I only visit.

ima30:
Hello. I have been with my guy for five years now. We are getting married next year. The thing is we are going to live in his family house, with his extended family. I didn't like the idea but I found a way to accept it seeing as its quite comfy and it means we won't have to worry about rent. Its basically a two bedroom apartment. The only thing I share with the rest of the family is back yard and staircase. He said we would do three years while he is building his own house.

His elder brother who is married lives in that same building. It's the maid THEY hired this year to take care of their sick dad, that worries me. The mom is late. She is very disrespectful to me. So many things happen and when he speaks to her about it, she won't bulge. All because it was the elder brother that interviewed her so she doesn't listen to almost anyone else. I spoke to my guy that I would not live with a maid that has not greeted me for almost a year or has no regard for my home or wouldn't obey him. He said he can't tell her to go because she is close to his brother's wife and she takes care of his dad.

This may sound petty but it's serious. All this family house wahala, if I tell him to rent a house he would say I'm not appreciating all his efforts to make sure we marry next year. I did laundry the other day came back and met the clothes soaked on the clothing line with all the rain that fell, meanwhile she brought in every other persons cloth inside. It might not be a big deal, but I don't want to resent any body I live with in my future home.

I need that maid gone, how do I get rid of her? The worst part is that since they all live together, he needs his brother's approval before he does almost anything, if I complain it would seem as if I wanna cause friction between both brothers. But there has been cases where changes were made by his brother and my guy wasn't even consulted. The maid before her was paid by my guy for two years straight, she didn't insult anybody. She left cuz his brother told him to sack her. That their father needed better attention and she wasn't a good cook. Na so my guy sack the girl. No question. They brought this one now and my guy paid for some month's and stopped because she was rude to him and me. His bro has been paying since. But my guy still pays nepa bills and those other things to run the house. Yet when he talks to this maid she won't listen.

How do I get her go? I don't like her one bit. She just basically work for the brother and his wife. I can't even send he to buy me matches. She calls me by name, would not greet. My guy told her to stop all these things, she still didn't listen. Please.

is d maid older dan U?



U r talkin abt gettin rid of ha, do U want us to advice U to kill ha?




Ask U guy to act up lyk a man who wants to gt married...... Its obvious ur marriage wud b in shambles if U live in dat houx..... Mk una pack go anoda houx! #Myonecent

TDstarr:
SORRY TO SAY BUT YOU SEEM LIKE A TROUBLE MAKER I KNEW WHEN YOU SAID YOUR GUY DOES NOT DO ANYTHING WITHOUT HIS ELDER BROTHERS KNOWING I SEE NOTHING WRONG THERE... IT'S HIS ELDER BROTHERS UNLESS YOU WANT TO BE THE ONE TO bring TROUBLE IN THE HOUSE AND IT'S NOT YOUR MAID SO FOCUS ON YOUR OWN LIFE... Biko... The way you narrated it... Looks like everything was going smoothly before you came.. Calm down and adapt... A real woman uses wisdom to act

exactly. The op is just petty. So u want the maid to lick ya nyash ba? Cuz ur guy paid her at some point. She is also human. Arnt u matured? If she no greet you y u no first greet? Maybe you dey look down on her as a maid so she too come put u in ur place. Respect is reciprocal respect her n u get it n return

ima30:


I don't live there. The laundry wey I do sef was my guys own. Not my dresses. I only visit.

Oh, my bad. Well then, this prayer comes to mind. "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference." When push comes to shove, It all boils down to where you're going and your ability to focus on your way there. All the best!

They are his clothes. He employed her to take care of his dad and other things. So why would see something that belongs to ur employers and leave it under the rain because his gf spreads it. If I were my guy that put those clothes on the wire, she would remove. If I help him spread or help with his laundry and may be I go back to my home. He would come back from work and met his clothes soaked on the lines. I would take them if I were living there, or if I m around. I don't need anybody to do that. But see as there were other things on the lines, she removed them and left her employers clothes on d lines cuz I did the laundry, that shows no courtesy. I don't want her to serve me, u all should not take it wrongly. I have respected her, greeted her, but when someone does stuff like this, I shows no respect or courtesy for her employer and what concerns him.

ima30:


To God who made me. I have never told her to do anything for me. I have not asked to buy a single thing for me. So when I say I don't send her on errands I mean it. What I m talking about her is what she was employed to do for the house hold. She is supposed to be decent and respectful to everybody, she isn't. She doesn't call any visitor by name. She doesn't call even the youngest sister by name. I m not delusional please. We are all adults here. Its her office but some one else's home, she doesn't know the difference.

You are just killing yourself just for selfish reasons.I hate when people do not face their own problem rather compound same problem as a result of their own selfishness.

First, you never employed the lady as a result, you should not boss her no matter how you feel about her.
Remember that she was employed to take care of the old man since the wife is gone.
Second, you are yet to officially get married to the guy hence you have no authority over her.

I now ask, why do you want to do away with someone you never employed? Your boyfriend, not your husband, asked you to be patient until he gets his own place, and still you want the lady out.

I can only see in you a wicked person ready to destroy that home that has been built. Why can't you mind your own business and allow the lady be. Why do you want to get rid of her? Are you normal at all?

Your type are the ones destroying other women and making them look bad.

If you officially get married to the guy, you will start dragging property that does not belong to you. Nonsense.

ima30:
Hello. I have been with my guy for five years now. We are getting married next year. The thing is we are going to live in his family house, with his extended family. I didn't like the idea but I found a way to accept it seeing as its quite comfy and it means we won't have to worry about rent. Its basically a two bedroom apartment. The only thing I share with the rest of the family is back yard and staircase. He said we would do three years while he is building his own house.

His elder brother who is married lives in that same building. It's the maid THEY hired this year to take care of their sick dad, that worries me. The mom is late. She is very disrespectful to me. So many things happen and when he speaks to her about it, she won't bulge. All because it was the elder brother that interviewed her so she doesn't listen to almost anyone else. I spoke to my guy that I would not live with a maid that has not greeted me for almost a year or has no regard for my home or wouldn't obey him. He said he can't tell her to go because she is close to his brother's wife and she takes care of his dad.

This may sound petty but it's serious. All this family house wahala, if I tell him to rent a house he would say I'm not appreciating all his efforts to make sure we marry next year. I did laundry the other day came back and met the clothes soaked on the clothing line with all the rain that fell, meanwhile she brought in every other persons cloth inside. It might not be a big deal, but I don't want to resent any body I live with in my future home.

I need that maid gone, how do I get rid of her? The worst part is that since they all live together, he needs his brother's approval before he does almost anything, if I complain it would seem as if I wanna cause friction between both brothers. But there has been cases where changes were made by his brother and my guy wasn't even consulted. The maid before her was paid by my guy for two years straight, she didn't insult anybody. She left cuz his brother told him to sack her. That their father needed better attention and she wasn't a good cook. Na so my guy sack the girl. No question. They brought this one now and my guy paid for some month's and stopped because she was rude to him and me. His bro has been paying since. But my guy still pays nepa bills and those other things to run the house. Yet when he talks to this maid she won't listen.

How do I get her go? I don't like her one bit. She just basically work for the brother and his wife. I can't even send he to buy me matches. She calls me by name, would not greet. My guy told her to stop all these things, she still didn't listen. Please.

Please get over yourself! You seem like a trouble maker. You never enter house see wahala. Your guy had better watch you. You seem like trouble...

Kimoni:


I laugh in Swahili

True true, you be new bride. Shior

You are about to start your married life in a family house with a brother-in-law and his wife as well as your sick father-in-law and the only thing that bothers you is the maid because she doesn't greet you

Hehehehehe sorry o, madam the madam

Do you have a job? Pls get busy with work such that you won't even have the time to notice who is greeting you or who is not. If you were living alone, who would have taken your clothes off the line?

My dear, get your priorities right. The maid is not yours, face your husband and stop behaving like madam in a house that's not yours.

***modified - I went back to read your post, I honestly think you have bigger issues. You are not even married to him yet and you authoritatively want the maid gone cuz she calls you by name I just hope you don't scatter that family before you finally get married to him sorry for my harsh words oo but you have personal issues you need to resolve asap

You have spoken well. I can see right through her. She is trouble.

Keep Quiet. You are only trying to defend yourself all Becase the maid is not on nairaland. If you want us to believe you, go and bring the maid here to come and explain herself. Don't make people to start judging her innocent being. Even from your response we all know the kind of house wife you will grow to be. Sack her and see if she won't get another job. Before ur boifriend hired her she has been living, so if she stop working with you guys, she will still live. Na God no make u manager for nnpc, thousands for don dey aos by now. Cause u for don sack dem all

ima30:

They are his clothes. He employed her to take care of his dad and other things. So why would see something that belongs to ur employers and leave it under the rain because his gf spreads it. If I were my guy that put those clothes on the wire, she would remove. If I help him spread or help with his laundry and may be I go back to my home. He would come back from work and met his clothes soaked on the lines. I would take them if I were living there, or if I m around. I don't need anybody to do that. But see as there were other things on the lines, she removed them and left her employers clothes on d lines cuz I did the laundry, that shows no courtesy. I don't want her to serve me, u all should not take it wrongly. I have respected her, greeted her, but when someone does stuff like this, I shows no respect or courtesy for her employer and what concerns him.

YOU'RE NOT EVEN MARRIED TO HIM AND I WONDER WHAT YOU'RE DOING THERE. YOU HAVE A VERY BIG ATTITUDE AND SHOULD RE EXAMINE YOUR BEHAVIOR GIRL. HOW OLD IS THIS MAID AND HOW OLD ARE YOU? IT SOUNDS LIKE A PEACEFUL FAMILY, THEY'RE NOT WORRIED ABOUT WHO PAID THE MAID BUT YOU. PLEASE, TAKE YOUR TROUBLES AND BAD MANNERS TO YOUR OWN FAMILY, THE ONE THAT WOULD NOT MIND THEIR DAUGHTER COHABITING WITH HER LOVER

This girl wetin ya wahala? Na u hire the maid? No. Then wetin be ya wahala?? Some girls eh! Tufia!
You won't mind ur husband and have him, u dey busy dey seek yeye attention frm his elder bro househelp, who dey look after ur father-in-law.
Madam abeg, u fit divorce ur man to avoid the maid or you fit ignore am TOTALLY.

I don't like people greeting me sef cos next thing is to beg for money like I have to pay for the greetings .

Ignore her Buh wait since seven years u dey visit,wetin?!are you lord of the rings?

OP you've made a few mistakes already on NL......
First by dropping too many details about your relationship which will only attract comments insulting you..."lord of the rings", etc
People are just Angry by default.. so finding someone to insult online (cowardice) is an easy way out of depression for most Nigerians . It shouldn't get to you!

Secondly by seeking advice from people who do not "Know" you... they can only make inferences from your tone of typing and of course give wrong judgments..

Alot of people here will only type to appear sanctimonious so as to get "likes".. Imagine some asking why you call her "maid"...hypocrisy , pls wat should she be called.. "Personal Assistant"?... hmm
Shakespeare. .. 'whats in a name'?

Back to my advice...
1. Reduce the way you visit the house for now, give them all little 'space' , the maid may just be overwhelmed by the thought of another madam coming in when she has alot on her hands already.

2. Whenever you come around, kindly do all you need by yourself. Do not even attempt to need her help, assume you live in an island. Again, be comfortable with people calling you by your name, most times all the aunty/madam is "eye service"..

3. When you finally settle in, as a wife, if by then you haven't gotten used to independence, hire a maid solely for your own family (nuclear) needs, maybe one that doesn't live in, and pay them not forgetting to treat them very right.

ima30:
I don't live there, I only visit. I hv been visiting for seven years. She was employed this year. I have never had any issue with family, friend or helps. She was employed by both brothers to help with the father and do little things around the home. She should respect their visitors and treat her work accordingly. Simple. My guy scolded her for doing something wrong, the next time I visited I greeted her she didn't reply. I didn't say anything, it wasn't an issue. She spoke to me rudely after then, she transferred aggression cuz she knew she could not do anything about my guy scolding her. I didn't reply her, I spoke to my guy, even his dad n bro told her she was rude. And since that moment, she has been disrespectful when she can. She greets every body that walks in to that house, she doesn't refer to anybody on a first name basis, wether visitor or family. So I know her attitude to me is disrespectful. My guy spoke to her about it she hasn't burged, if what I Complained about was outrageous he won't talk to her. Even he knows she is disrespectful intentionally. I work as a secretary, I don't refer to my boss's visitors on a first name basis until I m told otherwise. I understand my office and I respect it. Even if a visitor does something unruly today doesn't mean I would see him tomorrow and call him John instead of Mr John. I m not delusional. Like I said before my sales girl is almost two years with me, security at home is three years. I know how to treat people. Thanks for y'all that adviced with out being insulting and calling me wicked. I can't say every single thing that's happens, i know I m not a wife yet, what I won't tolerate in marriage I won't tolerate in my relationship. Thanks.

Save your breath sweetie . . . you don't have to explain yourself to anybody.

So you hate the maid (even if it's for nothing realistic), it's your life, your home, your marriage. No need to manage or pretend over something you don't like. Most of the hypocrites condemning you here would do and say worse if they were in your shoes.

From what you described, that maid is very rude and uncultured and because she is already an adult, there is not much you can do about it. The worst thing you will do is to start joining issues with her, it will make you stoop to her level and appear troublesome (since the people that employed her see nothing wrong in her actions . . . yet!).

My advice to you . . . IGNORE HER!!!

It may not be easy and will require all the self control, tolerance and looking-the-other-way in the world. But that is your ONLY option.

Don't send her on errands (do your things yourself), don't greet her (ignore her), don't laugh with her or try to 'gist' with her or even acknowledge her existence. If you decide to go spend time with your in-laws, do that without so much as a glance in her direction. Just pretend as if she doesn't exist. If she leaves your laundry outside, ignore her and pack them when you get home.

STOP complaining about her to ANYBODY (it makes you sound like a fault finder) . . . . infact, stop talking about her. She doesn't deserve all the attention you are giving her abeg. She's just a maid, so not worth your time! Put her in her level!!!

she is ur rival.

DEAR POSTER, PLS DONT LET THE BITTER PEOPLE HERE BULLY YOU OR MAKE U FEEL THAT THERE'S SOME THING WRONG WITH YOU.
Most don't understand that there are some basic courtesies that are expected of an employee to anyone associated with her employees in whatever capacity so you are right to be upset. However, try and ignore her and don't let her cause friction btw u and ur guy. Try not to also let her give his people a wrong impression about you by creating scenarios to deliberately upset you and cast you in a wrong light.
Leave her, she will soon put herself into trouble because she will behave the same way to others. Character doesn't hide for long.

Kayoski:
op the maid wants you out just as u want her out....

I bet There is something fishy goin on in that house that the maid dosnt want you to know...maybe she feels threatenend by you...

You sure say either your guy or ur brother in-law to be no get something intimate with her?

Do your investigation...over to u, I rest my case

I was thinking the same thing but I am suspecting the elder brother.

So you had to open another thread for this?? I repeat mind your boyfriend only. Do not poke nose into their family business cos you ain't family yet. You can visit that family for the next 50years but if you ain't a wife, you still ain't family, period! Ignore this lady and focus on saving enough for your intended marriage. This issue is too little for you to start complaining up and down. Sincerely if I am a member of that family I will be very wary of you. You are painting yourself in a very bad light. Steer clear of that house and show yourself some respect please. Too much familiarity breeds contempt.

This made must be Preety or infact a BEAUTY !!

Why do Africans Still need slaves or 'maids' ??

It takes a wise woman to handle maids, even the quiet ones who give you the 'EYE'...Be wise o...lest dey put more dan maggie in your soup!!
Keep forming BIG Madame and you will swallow all her piss and spit!!!
Some people are foolish jare !! WOMENNNNNNN !! CHAI !!

ima30:
Hello. I have been with my guy for five years now. We are getting married next year. The thing is we are going to live in his family house, with his extended family. I didn't like the idea but I found a way to accept it seeing as its quite comfy and it means we won't have to worry about rent. Its basically a two bedroom apartment. The only thing I share with the rest of the family is back yard and staircase. He said we would do three years while he is building his own house.

His elder brother who is married lives in that same building. It's the maid THEY hired this year to take care of their sick dad, that worries me. The mom is late. She is very disrespectful to me. So many things happen and when he speaks to her about it, she won't bulge. All because it was the elder brother that interviewed her so she doesn't listen to almost anyone else. I spoke to my guy that I would not live with a maid that has not greeted me for almost a year or has no regard for my home or wouldn't obey him. He said he can't tell her to go because she is close to his brother's wife and she takes care of his dad.

This may sound petty but it's serious. All this family house wahala, if I tell him to rent a house he would say I'm not appreciating all his efforts to make sure we marry next year. I did laundry the other day came back and met the clothes soaked on the clothing line with all the rain that fell, meanwhile she brought in every other persons cloth inside. It might not be a big deal, but I don't want to resent any body I live with in my future home.

I need that maid gone, how do I get rid of her? The worst part is that since they all live together, he needs his brother's approval before he does almost anything, if I complain it would seem as if I wanna cause friction between both brothers. But there has been cases where changes were made by his brother and my guy wasn't even consulted. The maid before her was paid by my guy for two years straight, she didn't insult anybody. She left cuz his brother told him to sack her. That their father needed better attention and she wasn't a good cook. Na so my guy sack the girl. No question. They brought this one now and my guy paid for some month's and stopped because she was rude to him and me. His bro has been paying since. But my guy still pays nepa bills and those other things to run the house. Yet when he talks to this maid she won't listen.

How do I get her go? I don't like her one bit. She just basically work for the brother and his wife. I can't even send he to buy me matches. She calls me by name, would not greet. My guy told her to stop all these things, she still didn't listen. Please.

stop concentrating on this maid. Treat her like she is your blood sister for six month and see the result.

One more thing, if your husband to be is not complaining, why should you?? Please love everyone in that family wholeheartedly.... And love the maid too..... Find time to chat with her like sisters even if she give you a face or answer you rudely. Cheers..

Just a girlfriend and you are 25 years, yet angry for calling you by your name. Hmmm.

na wa ooo

OP came to complain almost everybody here is calling her wicked and heartless.

She is just been seeking for peoples opinion. Madam OP i wont call you heartless or wicked or what so ever. My advise to you and your would be hubby to avoid future trouble do the following.

1. Get yourself a maid if you have the financial power
2. secondly move out of the family house as fast as you can if its for you to complete a room in your new house for you and your hubby to manage pending when you will finish the entire building.
3. Pray well.

Some maid can be terrible not only maid even sister in laws et all.