damilareoye:
don't get me wrong.
I was using that to describe him "liking" slim pretty girls which was clearly written by you that he saw that in you.

Drfinn:
OP, I have to be straight with you. A man is attracted by sight. Every man has a so-called 'fantasy woman'. A certain lady that has not only the inner beauty but physical features he craves. Of no fault of yours this man finds that woman in you. You talked about how you guys discuss on varied issues. Obviously, your intelligent and that's attractive.

At it stands now your friendship has crossed boundary. Emotions are strongly involved. Though you claim you don't have feelings from him. Your posts may indicate otherwise. Though you may not have now, I see it developing in the nearest future. These things take time. The more time it takes the deeper the feelings it inspires. This is the time for sober reflection on your part. What do you really want?

Yes, both of have a deep connection but it has gone beyond the platonic phase. I must commend yourself restraint. Few ladies would have acted decently as you have done so far. However, you must do more! You have to end this relationship! Yes, that's what you must do. Cut all ties from him. Don't make the mistake of trying to seat him down and talk him out of his feelings. It's futile.

Take some time off. Ignore his calls. Avoid at all cost contacts with him. And if you both bump into each other make it brief and simple. Maintain your civility as you have always done. Hopefully, once your out of the picture his fantasy will gradually fade away. Keep your head up.

Drfinn:
OP, I have to be straight with you. A man is attracted by sight. Every man has a so-called 'fantasy woman'. A certain lady that has not only the inner beauty but physical features he craves. Of no fault of yours this man finds that woman in you. You talked about how you guys discuss on varied issues. Obviously, your intelligent and that's attractive.

At it stands now your friendship has crossed boundary. Emotions are strongly involved. Though you claim you don't have feelings from him. Your posts may indicate otherwise. Though you may not have now, I see it developing in the nearest future. These things take time. The more time it takes the deeper the feelings it inspires. This is the time for sober reflection on your part. What do you really want?

Yes, both of have a deep connection but it has gone beyond the platonic phase. I must commend yourself restraint. Few ladies would have acted decently as you have done so far. However, you must do more! You have to end this relationship! Yes, that's what you must do. Cut all ties from him. Don't make the mistake of trying to seat him down and talk him out of his feelings. It's futile.

Take some time off. Ignore his calls. Avoid at all cost contacts with him. And if you both bump into each other make it brief and simple. Maintain your civility as you have always done. Hopefully, once your out of the picture his fantasy will gradually fade away. Keep your head up.

Drfinn:
Zaragirl, am glad you found my contribution helpful. Should you need further advice on this issue kindly contact me.

I saw a touching movie earlier today. A decent lady with a promising future, married to an old fashioned but loving young man got lured by some rich dude.

She ended up not only destroying her marriage and career. She contracted HIV. The Apple always looks irresistible but once eaten it goes sour.

I believe you have a bright future ahead of you. Don't mortgage it. Keep faith. The right guy will locate you not some confused married man.

zaragal:


Thnx am not a idiiot..

Drfinn:
Zaragirl, I may not fully understand your disappointment at the turn of events with this married man. However, know that whatever happened is for a reason. Am thrilled you cherish education and knowledge. That explains the attraction between you and this man. Like I said initially it's no fault of yours neither his.

I understand your frustration as regards maintaining platonic relationships with single guys. No matter how civil you both might try to be, emotions will set in. Opposites attract you. More so when it involves shared values and beliefs. There are still sensible young men out there. Hopefully, you will meet one soonest.

You need some time to clear your head. You may think your prayer went unanswered. But be rest assured God is bringing someone that will be a friend, counselor, mentor, motivator etc your way. He never takes his eyes off those who look to him for help. He allowed this for a reason. Pick the lesson and move on.

The movie isn't Nigerian. It's Tyler Perry's Temptation Confessions of a marriage counselor. It was quite educative. On a lighter note, you should be resting your head now . lol! Goodmorning. HAPI Sunday.

zaragal:
Hi nairalanders,

Am in a mess kinda, I always try to tell guys to marry people dey are attracted to physically, not jst the character etc if you. Like slim fair and pretty ladies or a dark or chubby ones whether figure 8 or 1 pls marry your preference not to marry the opposite and cheat


I discovered he likes slim fair pretty ladies so he told me he liked me a lot I took dat to be a compliment. I got to see the picture of his wife she was a chubby dark lady the complete inverse of his attraction.

spicy244:


I can see that its in you

spicy244:


I can see that its in you

zaragal:
Hi nairalanders,

Am in a mess kinda, I always try to tell guys to marry people dey are attracted to physically, not jst the character etc if you. Like slim fair and pretty ladies or a dark or chubby ones whether figure 8 or 1 pls marry your preference not to marry the opposite and cheat

I recently got close to a good friend of mine who is married, I see him beyond my frnd I see him as a mentor, a best friend name it! But not anything ungodly cos have registered in my heart dat dis man is married and I so locked off my feelings and focus on being friends, I like him a lot but love was far from it.

Myself and dis dude got close, another reason why I got close to him was because he was extremely intelligent and he motivate me and advises me, career, etc so I hold him in high esteem. As we got closer I discovered he likes slim fair pretty ladies so he told me he liked me a lot I took dat to be a compliment. I got to see the picture of his wife she was a chubby dark lady the complete inverse of his attraction. He married the lady because she was very intelligent and she was a woman of God.

Our friendship has got really close and I got use to him, I like him cos each tym we are together it's always memorable (no strings pls) so we enjoy moment cos we talk abt books and other stuffs funny experience too but now things has gone out of hand I think he grow feelings for me, I knew dis a while ago but I felt he will outgrow it but dats not happening, he calls too often dat my mum gets to wonder if I hav now a boyfriend lol

We had a misunderstanding yesterday and I got mad and walked out cos he was shouting, and I was beginning to feel embarrassed because we were on the road. So I walked out and didn't pick his numerous calls afterwards he called and called till midnight, through early morning again and pleaded with text msg and said he loves me ...I didn't respond because am confused, I like him and I need him but he is a married man and he is having a silly crush on me, should I just leave him or talk him out of his feelings

NB he also teaches me and assist me in the subjects I find challenging. Pls romancelanders wat do u advise #no bashing pls

halfrica:

First dont push him away please if he doesnt date u he wud go for anoda girl he is showing signs of infidelity if u really care for him help him save his marriage
Please

pick his call after listening to wat he has to say ....


Watever he says write them down


Send him a text of all of wat he has said den pop the question if sumone ever said dis to ur wife ow wud u feel ur reactions nd all


U av to let him kno dat he is bou to cheat on sumone he has deprived youthful life from

Let him realise he left a woman at home not an object of desire bt a companion if he doesnt listen i wud try nd tink of wat to do!!!! Ok

halfrica:

Ma keh??


M way younger than u think
But if he doesnt change let me kno i wud tell u d game planner

We gona shot put him into his marriage bck ok

ipledge10:
you are inexperience ..the best thing is to push him off

Youngpo413:
keep deceiving yourself....a leopard doesn't change its spot,ashawo too,you are an ashawo and will forever remain so.

qhutetomsel:
excuse me did u read d part she said he was her tutor, nd d guy was d one making advances.. why can't we blame d guy who obviously has a woman at home. calling her degrading names is uncalled for..

Drfinn:
Zaragirl, I may not fully understand your disappointment at the turn of events with this married man. However, know that whatever happened is for a reason. Am thrilled you cherish education and knowledge. That explains the attraction between you and this man. Like I said initially it's no fault of yours neither his.

I understand your frustration as regards maintaining platonic relationships with single guys. No matter how civil you both might try to be, emotions will set in. Opposites attract you. More so when it involves shared values and beliefs. There are still sensible young men out there. Hopefully, you will meet one soonest.

You need some time to clear your head. You may think your prayer went unanswered. But be rest assured God is bringing someone that will be a friend, counselor, mentor, motivator etc your way. He never takes his eyes off those who look to him for help. He allowed this for a reason. Pick the lesson and move on.

The movie isn't Nigerian. It's Tyler Perry's Temptation Confessions of a marriage counselor. It was quite educative. On a lighter note, you should be resting your head now . lol! Goodmorning. HAPI Sunday.

Drfinn:
Zaragirl, I may not fully understand your disappointment at the turn of events with this married man. However, know that whatever happened is for a reason. Am thrilled you cherish education and knowledge. That explains the attraction between you and this man. Like I said initially it's no fault of yours neither his.

I understand your frustration as regards maintaining platonic relationships with single guys. No matter how civil you both might try to be, emotions will set in. Opposites attract you. More so when it involves shared values and beliefs. There are still sensible young men out there. Hopefully, you will meet one soonest.

You need some time to clear your head. You may think your prayer went unanswered. But be rest assured God is bringing someone that will be a friend, counselor, mentor, motivator etc your way. He never takes his eyes off those who look to him for help. He allowed this for a reason. Pick the lesson and move on.

The movie isn't Nigerian. It's Tyler Perry's Temptation Confessions of a marriage counselor. It was quite educative. On a lighter note, you should be resting your head now . lol! Goodmorning. HAPI Sunday.

Bonethugss:
No offence intended, but from your post you seem to have fallen for him. Or maybe you are just fond of him. The truth is that the more time you spend with someone of the opposite sex, the more the laws of attraction take place.
I would recommend you keep your distance, find another tutor.
It is never ideal to get too close to a married man, the brain works funny, soon you will get emotionally attached (if you aren't already).

In other news @DrFinn pls are you married, if no... Hmmm that would be interesting...

Youngpo413:
lol,I no be peak milk o...happy sunday.

noblemails:
u too na runz girl jor why all these comments... the man is married is enough reason to stay off him... what does he teach u that another person cant teach you? have u ever heard of T.T before? (Teaching to Touching).

halfrica:


Push him off

She cant push him off

The man has showned a sign he is ready to cheat on d wife so even if op push him away he wud cheat wit anoda lady
Once a man can start developing feelins for anoda woman it takes d grace of God to stop


All am saying his she shdnt push him off she can as well save his marriage

Why u humans self centered so its bad again to help save ones marriage ??

so op shd push him away wil dat stop him from cheatin on his wife with anoda entire lady??

ipledge10:
she should be more concerned about herself...I don't trust d op if she doesn't stop seeing him

halfrica:
Remember his wife was once slim
If u can put ur sef in d woman's shoes Then u anoda babe if u can take it as a married woman
babe carry on karma wud do unto u wat u do unto others

jmoore:
You need advice, huh?
Married man, huh?
Do you still need advice?

zaragal:
Cc Lalasticlala....Wat do u think??

pinceprinz:


Lala no Geh ur time >_<

Youngpo413:
you are pathetic,I mean you are playing with fire,what goes around comes around,keep living in denial,shameless b!tch.