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Can You Parent Another Person's Child? - Family - Nairaland

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Poll: Men and women, can you do this?

Yes: 86% (43 votes)
No: 14% (7 votes)
This poll has ended

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Can You Parent Another Person's Child? by biola44: 8:47am On May 21, 2009
I've always pondered over this, whether i can marry a single mother (with just one kid) or not, could be due to divorce, waywardness, widowed, and other factors you know, I'm counting on you fellow NLS,
Re: Can You Parent Another Person's Child? by Nobody: 10:32am On May 21, 2009
this is YOUR life and YOU decide what is best for it, nobody else should!!!
normal men have married handicapped women, blind women, dwarf women, ashawos, women in jail so i think that marrying a single mother should be the [b]LEAST OF YOUR PROBLEM[/b]S.
to each their own!!!!!!!
Re: Can You Parent Another Person's Child? by opuro(m): 10:38am On May 21, 2009
woman born 10 no mean say you cant enjoy her kini more than the kain babes wey full town now
Re: Can You Parent Another Person's Child? by SamMilla1(m): 11:20am On May 21, 2009
i can do that,
Re: Can You Parent Another Person's Child? by oludashmi(f): 11:35am On May 21, 2009
If a woman can marry a man that has kids (some women do this and are still breadwinners of the family) what stops a man from doing so. The most important is to understand the person you are dealing with and circumstances surrounding her being a single mother.
Re: Can You Parent Another Person's Child? by kshow1(m): 11:58am On May 21, 2009
MRbrownJAY:

this is YOUR life and YOU decide what is best for it, nobody else should!!!
normal men have married handicapped women, blind women, dwarf women, ashawos, women in jail so i think that marrying a single mother should be the [b]LEAST OF YOUR PROBLEM[/b]S.

thank you for telling him my brother.
This should be a personal problem to you about your perception to the woman you want to marry.
Re: Can You Parent Another Person's Child? by horny4u(f): 12:21pm On May 21, 2009
If you donot think you are up for it donot go and marry and begin to detest the child, my mum was maltreated by her step dad and she has not forgiven him.
However i was brought up from age 7 by my stepdad after my dad passed away , and what a loving soul he is, i NEVER doubted he loved me , even though i was not the most lovable teenager,
Today i will do ANYTHING to make him happy, I love him back like he was my biological dad.
So except you can handle it, donot go there, and this your question makes me feel you can not ,
tongue
Shikena!!
Re: Can You Parent Another Person's Child? by Sagamite(m): 12:31pm On May 21, 2009
Probably not my first marriage. If I was a divorcee/widower (40s+), no problem if the woman is nice.
Re: Can You Parent Another Person's Child? by Fhemmmy: 12:39pm On May 21, 2009
None of the reasons u have stated shuld stop you from fathering a child by another man.
A woman that was lose could have changed.
Besides, it is not about the woman but about the child, there are so many kids on the street that will give the world to ave a man to call a father, and sometimes, i think we especially Nigerian men always think about what is in it for me and not the other person.
We sometimes needs to look past the ordinary and do our best.
However, it is not for everybody and if you are convinced that it is not for you, dont force yourself.
Re: Can You Parent Another Person's Child? by Shola13: 12:58pm On May 21, 2009
I dont see anything wrong with it personally. my previous girlfriends had a child, it was amazing apart from the break up that occured. YOU WILL LEARN TO LOVE THE CHILD , if you Love the woman involved.
Re: Can You Parent Another Person's Child? by Carlosein(m): 1:27pm On May 21, 2009
i can and i prolly will if i find one that i can understand and who understands me too.
Re: Can You Parent Another Person's Child? by MVJ(m): 1:32pm On May 21, 2009
if the girl is the kind of girl i care for i can do so
Re: Can You Parent Another Person's Child? by origina9ja(f): 2:40pm On May 21, 2009
guys only

yeah
there is nothing wrong with it
at the end of the day
no body plan to be single
shits happen init
so yeah everychild deserve care
Re: Can You Parent Another Person's Child? by AmAlone: 2:51pm On May 21, 2009
Man your question no dey straight!

You first dey talk say can you father another man's child, now you dey talk of getting married to a mother.

Ok, two answers----Yes and No!

Yes: that is if I wan marry a mother. Yes, I can father the child.

No: If my wife or woman sheet on me. No, That's infidelity.
Re: Can You Parent Another Person's Child? by origina9ja(f): 2:58pm On May 21, 2009
haha
what happens to 4giveness of sin
Re: Can You Parent Another Person's Child? by AloyEmeka9: 3:45pm On May 21, 2009
Yeah
Re: Can You Parent Another Person's Child? by kokoye(m): 4:26pm On May 21, 2009
origina9ja:

haha
what happens to 4giveness of sin

Abegi, e go tey before I forgive any wife wey cheat on me o! especially when I have always been loving and faithful.

Even if i forgive, I sure wont forget it lailai and I go take am react. So it's better we go our separate ways.

A wife that will cheat on her husband (when she's been taken good care of in every way) can kill the man. 99% of ladies just dont give it away like that without having feelings for the man . . except for financial or emotional reasons.
Re: Can You Parent Another Person's Child? by Sarifat(f): 4:29pm On May 21, 2009
kini big deal
Re: Can You Parent Another Person's Child? by Nobody: 4:53pm On May 21, 2009
theres noffing wrong in marrying single mother cus of their experience they become more wiser not wanting to jeopardize their second marrige

seeing the second chance as last therefore making all effort to make it work.
Re: Can You Parent Another Person's Child? by oge4real(f): 5:44pm On May 21, 2009
I wish to be given that opportunity in future- to show love to the motherless.
Re: Can You Parent Another Person's Child? by TmeD0(m): 5:56pm On May 21, 2009
Sagamite:

Probably not my first marriage. If I was a divorcee/widower (40s+), no problem if the woman is nice.

And what difference does it make if it was your first, second, an so on?  I'm just curious to know your justification for that.

@OP, obvously, you're bothered about this and probably in a relationship with someone in that situation and considering marrying her.

well, i'd suggest you not get too involved with the person if fathering another man's child is an issue (which seem to be) for you.  simple!  Peace!
Re: Can You Parent Another Person's Child? by TmeD0(m): 6:04pm On May 21, 2009
camelot:

theres noffing wrong in marrying single mother  cus of their experience they become more wiser not wanting to jeopardize their second marrige

seeing the second chance as last therefore making all effort to make it work.

hmm, interesting perspective.  i never saw it that way. 

so, what you're saying is that these women will do everything possible to make the marriage work even if there's infidelity in the marriage? 

if that's true then maybe i should find me a single mother to marry and maybe, just maybe i might be able to get away with infidelity since i now
know she's wiser and would do anything (enduring my infidelity crap) to make the marriage work.    wink
Re: Can You Parent Another Person's Child? by Sagamite(m): 6:14pm On May 21, 2009
T@meD0:

And what difference does it make if it was your first, second, an so on?  I'm just curious to know your justification for that.


I wouldn't want any form of baggage at my first time in the altar.

I see it as a beginning of a new life for me and my wife. With a child, it appears more like a beginning of a new direction for her.
Re: Can You Parent Another Person's Child? by Secretz(f): 7:17pm On May 21, 2009
Yes I could do it, depending on the circumstances surrounding it. I think there are more 'baby mama' issues than 'baby father' ones and some people do it better second time around as they probably feel they have more to lose. grin
Re: Can You Parent Another Person's Child? by Psalty(f): 7:19pm On May 21, 2009
Countless number of girls abort unwanted babies everyday or protect themselves to avoid pregnancies, this woman kept hers, she should be respected and loved for it
Sagamite:

I wouldn't want any form of baggage at my first time in the altar.
Re: Can You Parent Another Person's Child? by Sagamite(m): 7:21pm On May 21, 2009
Psalty:

Countless number of girls abort unwanted babies everyday or protect themselves to avoid pregnancies, this woman kept hers, she should be respected and loved for it

If I was to choose, I will rather have the girl that protected herself or had abortion.
Re: Can You Parent Another Person's Child? by bawomolo(m): 9:13pm On May 21, 2009
Sagamite:

If I was to choose, I will rather have the girl that protected herself or had abortion.

same here
Re: Can You Parent Another Person's Child? by Oxone(m): 9:33pm On May 21, 2009
Psalty:

Countless number of girls abort unwanted babies everyday or protect themselves to avoid pregnancies, this woman kept hers, she should be respected and loved for it

am with you on this, its high time we encourage & commend virtuous behavior instead of waywardness

if she had gone for abortion & lost her womb then everybody will call her names & avoid her like a plague

well i'll gladly be with this person if she is the one than be with the so called "fresh ones" who have truck loads of skeleton in their cupboards
Re: Can You Parent Another Person's Child? by biina: 9:37pm On May 21, 2009
As long as you are clear on what you are getting into, there should be no wahala.
Re: Can You Parent Another Person's Child? by MAURI: 9:52pm On May 21, 2009
Poster,
Like someone already mentioned, what's the big deal?!
For you information, the present president of the world, Mr Obama was not raised under his fathers care. He has ended up too well, beyond what most children raised by their biological parents will ever achieve.  Spread the love if you have it, it will only make the world a better place.
Re: Can You Parent Another Person's Child? by na2day2(m): 1:20am On May 22, 2009
i am strongly thinking of adopting a male child right now, there is nothing wrong in raising kids that are not urs
Re: Can You Parent Another Person's Child? by Nobody: 1:24am On May 22, 2009
na2day?:

i am strongly thinking of adopting a male child right now, there is nothing wrong in raising kids that are not urs
Why? What's wrong with your sperm?

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