Oxone:

haha, not that, i can see ur very naive
anyways dnt think i can say it here

Naive, suuuuuuuuuure

ibkaye:

Naive, suuuuuuuuuure

whatever

Oxone:

whatever

Don't know why that made me laugh

Sex before marriage? It depends on a lot of factors - the sexual history of the parties involved (sexually active, virgins, previously active and now celibate)

Personally, I would say don't do it - grow other aspects of the relationship and then move into actual sex when married. I personally would not say NO affection/physical contact though, I believe that is part of building intimacy in general with your spouse to be. This view is based on my Christianity.

Now that said, a number of misconceptions/untruths are sometimes used to 'promote' no sex before marriage.

First is the issue of self control. I realise that it could be a sign of a weakness if your partner does not want to wait till after marriage to have sex, but does that indicate that the person will cheat? Personally I don't think it indicates anything. After getting married, you don't suddenly become a different person - you had sexual desires before marriage and you have them afterwards.

To think someone will cheat on you simply because they wanted sex before getting married is silly. It's like saying someone will cheat on  you because they decided to get to know you before you got married and after getting married, they will want to get to know other people.   There is little logic there.

That said, there is a risk in marrying someone you haven't had sex with - there are genuine instances of sexual incompatibility/physical problems that appear after the marriage documents are signed. As long as the two people are physically healthy, this acclaimed compatibility can be developed with your partner over time.

emm. . . i think there's more to a marriage than sex. dont get me wrong o! sex is a super plus in marriage, but marriage is affected by all aspects of life: career, money-matters, investments, future plans, educational plans for kids, managing both 'in-laws' based on background, spirituality, hobbies, raising kids. nna, the list is inexhaustible. marriage is a lifetime experience to be enjoyed not just for the sex.

'just ma 2 cents.

Oxone:

wait till i show you my talent

So this is what u do when I'm away??


on the couch mister!!

Phew! Look at every body talking about "test driving"
Who coined that misleading word? Hmmm
Well the truth is, a little test drive isnt harmful, considering the increasing no of women who turn up with impotent men as husbands. I mean why do men do that? Thats mean and devilish.
So ladies, if ur mans says no to sex before marriage, up ur ante. . . ask for that "test drive" IMMEDIATELY!!

sex b4 marriage does not help matters. time has proven this fact. u can get romantic without sex. that is d point

Sex Sex Sex, i think you people paying to much attention to that exercise called SEX.

Romance, kissing and all that good stuff will lead to sex, so stay away if you aint gonna give it up.

No

debosky:

As long as the two people are physically healthy, this acclaimed compatibility can be developed with your partner over time.

Exactly

yeah it helps a lot i don't know any man or women after getting married,will later turn around and cheat on the husband due to the reason that they are not sexually compatible

a lady who doesnt want sex b4 marriage shd b a virgin nd also young.d guy shd testrun nd ensure dat he doesnt blindly enter one-chance.how wl d guy know d lady is not circumcised(a king without title).if u'r not a virgin,how wl d guy know dat u'r not seeing ur former boyfriends,aristoes nd suger daddies.sex reduces(but cant guarantee) d tendency of cheating.guys want sex cos(from experience) most of dem know dat d lady wl dump dem(without a genuine reason) if a RICHER guy wt a better car ng swag comes around.if a lady is not ready to give u sex,she may not give u her time,committment nd good attention.a lady will insist on no sex b4 marriage if she knows d guy wl always wait nd maybe she is still in school.a lady who is tired of sex after yrs of being sexually active/FUN nd series of wrong choices wl insist on no sex b4 wed.My advice:b sure d guy is ready for marriage.

There is a way that seems right bt d end is destruction,God's commandment said 'thou shall nt commit adultry'which includes fornication.

Na im some 'NAIRALANDERS' dey carry 'bulging' bags go pose for H-ALTAR?
Preach it to the mosquitos please!

Its so unfortunate the way people think. Sincerely leaving bible aside. If your are talking of "friends with benefit" I agree but when it comes to someone u want to get married to, I have some points;

1) Who will be happy whether u r a male or female if he or she is dropped after getting sure that you have all the qualities that is expected of you from your partner.

2) Is sex the only thing involved in marriage.

3) What you are the one who was defeated after the test-drive. Will you not be ashamed of yourself. "Killer got killed"

4) How many gals or guys will u test before you find the one that can meet up with your standard."All the gals in your church or office or nairaland"?

5) Everybody is looking for a decent gal, the ones u don sample na who go carry am.

So my take is; you both can talk abt sex before marriage. Tell him or her what your expectation is and try to be disciplined in meeting ur spouse to be's standard of sex.
Don't feel bad when you are not good enough for your spouse or when your spouse isn't good enough for you. You can work things out.
"If you marry cos of sex, you will divorce cos of sex". Marry attitude not sex. But while dating you must intensively talk about it to know what each other wants. Thanks.