Hi, I am Nnenna, a Lagos housewife and I have a very special issue that needs to be dealt with urgently, it is about to ruin my marriage of over 5 years

I and my husband had a very beautiful life together, but that was until two years into our marriage, just after we had our first and only child.`
Tommy as I fondly call him had lost his job then and would not have me work, he said it was his duty to provide for his family and believed that our child would need all my attention.
I used to be marketer at one of the leading banks, while he worked with an oil firm but was retrenched due to certain unclear circumstances.
The quest for a job took a toll on my husband because we had debts to offset, so many bills left unpaid.
During that period, Tommy will go out very early only to come back very late at night. The time spent however, did not reflect on our economic status.
We were not begging but we could tell that the family was digging too deep into its reserves.
After about a year and no serious job forthcoming, Tommy decided he would go into a business of his own.
He started a business with the little we had saved over the years, he gave it his all, time, body and soul.
Tommy could be very determined and that was the spirit he put into the business, however, it was our home that suffered the brunt.
Gradually I began to feel the detachment from him, he was more connected with making the business boom, there was little or no time for me and my little boy.
Our sex life was almost dead and when we did have anything intimate it was shabby at best.
He gave numerous excuses of why his performance had drastically come to an all time low, from business thoughts to the Lagos stress that is always tied to the ever present gridlocks for no just cause.
I cried severally because i was starved not just of both love and sex, perhaps you might think I am vain but please don’t judge me till you have walked a mile in my shoes.
Tommy could not hold his own for even five minutes, no sooner than he gets in and the milk is spilt. He said he had tried several things but they just don’t work.
For months and then over a year, things continued the same way. After a while, I gave up totally, resigning to fate.
Good thing is, the business started to grown miraculously, but the more it grew, the distant my husband became from me.
There was no day without a meeting, the weekends were spent virtually at his business place, only on rare occasions did I and my son go visiting there.
I was idle, and perhaps that was the avenue for certain things to happen, things I am not so proud to mention.
The most crazy of all that I began to indulge in, is basically living on socio-media. While I bore my heart in subtle Tweets and Facebook posts, I wore a hypocritical look on Instagram.
My photos bearing faked smiles, hid my inner torment, but there was this guy who could read between the lines, he introduced himself to me as Benson.
He was about 10years younger than myself and twenty years younger than my husband. But he was smart and witty, I was caught off-guard.
Benson made me pour my heart to him in such a way that I felt exposed, and before I could blink, we were dating.
From internet chats we advanced to calls and texts, before I knew it, I was inviting this young man into my matrimonial home.
He was young but Benson sure did know how to treat a lady, there was never a boring moment with him, as his wits exuded effortlessly.
Soon I was almost forgetting that I had a husband, it was more like living with yet another flat mate, as all we did whenever my husband got back from work was brief chats (boring) and off to bed.
Whenever he got into his room to sleep, I got talking with Benson under the guise of staying with my tender son. We would do all sorts of crazy stuffs over the phone and I felt like a teenager again.
The first day I and Benson made love, it stirred a wild passion in me and I could not get enough of him. I would invite him over on certain weekends, we would meet up at his place on other days and somehow I never got caught.
Few days ago, my husband came back with a gift, it was a brand new Toyota Corolla. He told me he knew that he had not been living up to expectations and was going to make it up to me. He said very soon we would be moving into a new apartment of our own, adding that he kept it a secret to surprise me.
I was shocked, did not know what to say. I had mixed feelings, guilt, joy, astonishment all playing out at once.
We made love that night, after so long, it was the same. He came prematurely, I really wanted to confront him but something kept holding me back.
The house we talked about is almost set, the future looks bright again. But beyond the money and the comfort, a woman has other needs.
I really want to get rid of Benson, but do not know how to go about it. Especially because I cannot get enough of all he does to me, besides, my husband still has his chronic case of premature ejaculation.
Honestly, I am perplexed and that is why I have written this. I know my problem sounds a like trivial and selfish to a large extent, but I really need help, I cannot pleasure myself for life to stay faithful to my husband.
Please what can I do to salvage what is left of my life and marriage, Tommy might soon sense my detachment to him, he might become suspicious of certain moves I make. I need to be satisfied but my husband can’t give what I want.

She needs your advice and opinion NLs

SOURCE : http://www.moorevibe.com/2015/12/confession-of-lagos-housewife-he.html

Opinion and advice needed, thanks!

http://www.moorevibe.com/2015/12/confession-of-lagos-housewife-he.html

This marital problem is stale
Anyways, visit the nearest church for advice

I just don't know why some people fine excuse to cover up their evil did, a man Is working very hard to see that he provide for his family and trying all remedy to see that he can still satisfy you in bed yet u go out nd hookup with some stupid social medial fool Who have no respect for someones wife and you think he Love you...


You better cut all connection you have with that benson of a guy for he is a agent of distruction


Anyguy who sleep with another mans wife when he fully knows she is married nothing good can comeout from that guy

Madam,severe every connection with Benson ASAP and talk things over with Tommy. He may seek medical attention and the expulsion will be a thing of the past.
But IMO,the quick expulsion is due stress.

My sister life is too short...tell your husband your fears and concerns if im no change file for seperation abeg life is too short.

~dis one is strong,

~like seriously u forgot u ve husband?

~dating a guy u are 10yrs older than?

~Now u are having mix feelings?

~Anyway i dnt tink d young guy has feelings for u dat much, he is only enjoying him sf, so cutting of d relationship wont b a big deal to him

let ur husband seek medical attention or it might b d stress or too much sweet tinz.

To be honest with her,she seriously fumbled.There is an adage in my language,"cutting off the head is nt the medicine for headache".Notwithstanding the husband too is also has a fault, he failled to perform is matrimonial duty has a man and did not pay attention to the emotions of his wife.
Anyway,the harm has been döne already,however,there are stil remedies to dis heinous act.
1.She should let the man knw how she fils and this can be done by having a heart 2 heart discussion
2.She should quit r rlshp with the oda guy and aviod anything that has to do social network 4
3.She and her husband should see a doctor
4.She should change r dressing to seductive dressing that will make the man go gaga and make his dick stand errect just only by d fragance she put on
lastly,she should get a vibrator,at least that kan self as a secondary satisfaction,pending til when the husband condition would change

Tell your husband to abstain for one month. When the sperm cells grow bigger, he sure will have a matured ejaculation.

I wonder why babes do cheat with men,when there are other a alternative to satisfy the orge

She's needs a mandingo in her life

As for Benson,choose between the shame of being caught and 100% loyalty to your husband.

As for your husband,a lot of men experience PE due to state of mind,anger,guilt,stress......talk to your doctor. He may recommend exercises to strengthen his PC muscles and medications.

In the interim,you can also help him by increasing the fore play,buy intimacy gadgets,let him come in when you are at semi final to cum.
You can also help him with squeeze technique before he gets to the point of no return.

Seek forgiveness for committing adultery and thank God you were not caught.

My humble/honest prayer z that the husband finds out and send her sorry a$$ back to wherever she came from.
Once you are married, Don't f^cking cheat.
Premature ejaculation isn't an excuse...give the man a couple tabs of tramadol and watch the wife complain of him lasting too long. :>

OK

SEXUAL PERFORMANCE LAPSES,HAVE SOLUTION WHILE INDULGING IN WHAT YOU WOULD NOT WANT YOUR HUSBAND TO DO,BY HAVING AFFAIRS WITH OTHER LADIES? AM SURE U WOULDNT TAKE IT FROM HIM.PLEASE CONFESS AND REPENT OF UR SINS

Thanks to all who contributed!