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How Can A Parent Tame A Delinquent Child? - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Re: How Can A Parent Tame A Delinquent Child? by talktonase(m): 9:30am On Dec 21, 2015
Poor parenting.This attitude must have been obvious from his younger years but i am sure the parents did not nipp such an attitude.
Re: How Can A Parent Tame A Delinquent Child? by lomprico(m): 9:30am On Dec 21, 2015
YourMain:


Beating your kids is lazy parenting. Your child will have learnt nothing. And one day you'll reach a stage where you can't beat them. Then they are free to do all the things you used to beat them for.
I think not beating them is d lazy parenting. You dont have to beat them till they are teenagers. When they are like 10-12 u start talking to/scolding them instead of beating.

1 Like

Re: How Can A Parent Tame A Delinquent Child? by opey112(m): 9:35am On Dec 21, 2015
Tie his hand and tie his legs tie him to the ceiling fan facing upside down....bring out koboko and beat that demon out of him....thank me later....
Re: How Can A Parent Tame A Delinquent Child? by leonard509(m): 9:38am On Dec 21, 2015
YourMain:


Beating your kids is lazy parenting. Your child will have learnt nothing. And one day you'll reach a stage where you can't beat them. Then they are free to do all the things you used to beat them for.
lie... I don't even know what to say to you.. Lazy parenting kor lazy parenting nii.... If you were not flogged when you misbehaved as a kid ,shut up. His act is synonymous to urs. See what you're spewing, lets see how your kids will turn out, awon hardworker parenting.

1 Like

Re: How Can A Parent Tame A Delinquent Child? by Nobody: 9:38am On Dec 21, 2015
lomprico:

I think not beating them is d lazy parenting. You dont have to beat them till they are teenagers. When they are like 10-12 u start talking to/scolding them instead of beating.

You don't have to beat them at all. Ever. Even before that they don't know better. It's your job to let them realise what they are doing isn't acceptable, explain why and punish if they resist. Beating isn't even excusable.
Re: How Can A Parent Tame A Delinquent Child? by Nobody: 9:40am On Dec 21, 2015
leonard509:
lie... I don't even know what to say to you.. Lazy parenting kor lazy parenting nii.... If you were not flogged when you misbehaved as a kid ,shut up. His act is synonymous to urs. See what you're spewing, lets see how your kids will turn out, awon hardworker parenting.

My parents never ever beat me. And I think I've turned out pretty alright. I know kids who've grown up with parents who have hit them and they're destroyed.

My kids will be perfect. Thank you very much.
Re: How Can A Parent Tame A Delinquent Child? by leonard509(m): 9:40am On Dec 21, 2015
christopher123:
If the child is still under 17 ...The best way to tame the child is to flog the delinquency out of him but

If the child is adult ...stop giving him money or food. If he persist..disown and dis inherit him

It's a simple thing

It has worked and won't stop working


wise one.
Re: How Can A Parent Tame A Delinquent Child? by naobor(f): 9:41am On Dec 21, 2015
ggirl4real:
There's this my neighbour's son that's stubborn.

What bothers me more is the way he talks to his mum. He's about 16years old and in SS3 but I tell you, when he's angry, he'll shout his mum down no matter what she says to him.

He once said to the mum "if you dare touch me with that cane, I'll collect it and beat you", the mum had to seek for help from a neighbour.

Before now, the father could tame him but it seems that he has outgrown his father's control too...

He just made pronoucements like "God punish you" (Abasi umia ufen) to his younger sister who is barely 5years old. When his father scolded him, he shouted back at his father in a very violent manner and they're still exchanging words right now. I'm personally afraid from my compound...

I had to tell my sister that if this boy is not tamed, in the next two years, he'll beat everyone in that house...

Please, what could have caused this attitude? and what can be done to put this nasty behaviour on check before it gets out of hand? I'm personally afraid for his parents.

My widowed aunts teenage son was once like this. The last straw was when he chased my aunt with a knife and almost stabbed her. The extended family got so angry and my mum and brothers went to their house and beat the boy to a pulp. After beating him, they took him to a military barracks in Abuja and accused him of being a boko haram just to scare him. I learnt he was sweating and pleading with the military men that he is not boko haram.

Behind, they settled the military men like 20K so that they will punish him military style. He swept the entire barracks and served military punishment for like two days. Before he was released he was made to write a statement that he will not cause trouble in the house anymore (unknown to him it was a fake statement). This happened 3 years ago and I think he was 19 or 20 yrs at the time and my aunt remains grateful to date. No trouble from him 3 years down the line.

I think your neighbors could learn one or two lessons from my experience and apply.

1 Like

Re: How Can A Parent Tame A Delinquent Child? by lomprico(m): 9:43am On Dec 21, 2015
YourMain:


You don't have to beat them at all. Ever. Even before that they don't know better. It's your job to let them realise what they are doing isn't acceptable, explain why and punish if they resist. Beating isn't even excusable.
Your point is the reason d boy behaves like that.
Re: How Can A Parent Tame A Delinquent Child? by christopher123(m): 9:45am On Dec 21, 2015
YourMain:


Really ?

Well I can't tell you the way to raise your kids. So if your daughter came home with 4th position you'd beat her ? shocked

My daughter has been begging me to buy her a bike ..I promised her I will do that . I love her so much and my only girl..but we had an agreement ...I told her if she takes first position I will buy her the bike . we agreed in it .

Guess what , she came 3rd and she was so ashamed to even say she came third and she knows I love her so much and she loves me more than mum ..but we had an agreement ...I told her she didn't come first so she can't have the bike this Xmas .she understood and quietly went to her room to commence reading . but took her to shoprite bought her clothes and others but the bike isn't on the list

You have to train your kids that nothing is gotten on a platter . they have to work for it and that is what I am introducing . that's the way my dad trained me and it worked

I also flog her or get her grounded . God forbid if she comes fourth in class...hmmmmmm that holidays she would not play with her mates , she will not watch cartoon network .he will bury her self in her books . that's another effective way I punish her ..sometimes she beg me to spank her instead of grounding her. It musnt be floging

1 Like

Re: How Can A Parent Tame A Delinquent Child? by christopher123(m): 9:48am On Dec 21, 2015
leonard509:
wise one.

Thank u
Re: How Can A Parent Tame A Delinquent Child? by christopher123(m): 9:49am On Dec 21, 2015
YourMain:


My parents never ever beat me. And I think I've turned out pretty alright. I know kids who've grown up with parents who have hit them and they're destroyed.

My kids will be perfect. Thank you very much.

Patenting ain't easy ....so don't just say yet. I am a father ..what if your partner spoils the kids

No perfect kids anywhere pls
Re: How Can A Parent Tame A Delinquent Child? by mu2sa2: 9:50am On Dec 21, 2015
In most cases of this nature you will find that parents are to blame for not moulding the child's character right from early in life, all in the name of love. At 16 it's almost too late for the parents on their own to do anything that can turn him around, but they can seek help for him from family members, psychologists, church or whoever can genuinely help.Even if the boy has taken to drugs like alcohol,weed, cocaine etc, i believe he can still be redeemed by an experienced hand.
Re: How Can A Parent Tame A Delinquent Child? by Nobody: 9:51am On Dec 21, 2015
christopher123:


My daughter has been begging me to buy her a bike ..I promised her I will do that . I love her so much and my only girl..but we had an agreement ...I told her if she takes first position I will buy her the bike . we agreed in it .

Guess what , she came 3rd and she was so ashamed to even say she came third and she knows I love her so much and she loves me more than mum ..but we had an agreement ...I told her she didn't come first so she can't have the bike this Xmas .she understood and quietly went to her room to commence reading . but took her to shoprite bought her clothes and others but the bike isn't on the list

You have to train your kids that nothing is gotten on a platter . they have to work for it and that is what I am introducing . that's the way my dad trained me and it worked

I also flog her or get her grounded . God forbid if she comes fourth in class...hmmmmmm that holidays she would not play with her mates , she will not watch cartoon network .he will bury her self in her books . that's another effective way I punish her ..sometimes she beg me to spank her instead of grounding her. It musnt be floging

Yes my parents were all about the punishments. My parents would take away my clothes, shoes, phone. I had my door taken away for three months. My mum shaved off my hair once. Best believe I went to school bald. My parents would take away literally everything. I'd go to school and come home. Stay in my room. No food no nothing. And every hour they'd come in and lecture me. I'd write 20 billion I'll never do it again essays.

But my parents would never ever put their hands on me. I think it's really really really bad. And it's worked for me. I would never ever disrespect my parents.
Re: How Can A Parent Tame A Delinquent Child? by kissval1388: 9:51am On Dec 21, 2015
in gombe state, there is a place called quarter guard. its a mini barrack for soldiers but dey also train stubborn kids there. I swear if Ur parents eventually take u there, your life will never remain dsame wwn u come out.
they will just tell Ur parents to come back in a week time. they will feed you and everything. every morning, ice block will be melted on your back and u will receive uncountable stroke of canes from different soldier's.
my parents didn't beat me wen I was a kid but dey usually threaten me Dat they will take me to quarter guard if I misbehave.
I know soft hearted parents can't bear the pains there children will pass there. Lols.
Na only parents Wey there children don threaten to kill.
Re: How Can A Parent Tame A Delinquent Child? by christopher123(m): 9:54am On Dec 21, 2015
YourMain:


Yes my parents were all about the punishments. My parents would take away my clothes, shoes, phone. I had my door taken away for three months. My mum shaved off my hair once. Best believe I went to school bald. My parents would take away literally everything. I'd go to school and come home. Stay in my room. No food no nothing. And every hour they'd come in and lecture me. I'd write 20 billion I'll never do it again essays.

But my parents would never ever put their hands on me. I think it's really really really bad. And it's worked for me. I would never ever disrespect my parents.

That's what I am saying ..psychological punishment works better than physical but when. Both are done simultaneously.. Hmmm the effect is superb


I am a father so take this

Nice
Re: How Can A Parent Tame A Delinquent Child? by Nobody: 9:58am On Dec 21, 2015
christopher123:


That's what I am saying ..psychological punishment works better than physical but when. Both are done simultaneously.. Hmmm the effect is superb


I am a father so take this

Nice

I still wouldn't beat my child oo.
Re: How Can A Parent Tame A Delinquent Child? by Nobody: 10:01am On Dec 21, 2015
embarassed embarassed
Right now, any action they take has its own merit and dismerit. Rather I will advice they look inwardly into the cause of their son's present attitude.
This is more of a psychological issue and any form of hard punishment will only hardened him more

1 Like

Re: How Can A Parent Tame A Delinquent Child? by christopher123(m): 10:03am On Dec 21, 2015
YourMain:


I still wouldn't beat my child oo.

That's you...there is no particular formulae for parenthood

1 Like

Re: How Can A Parent Tame A Delinquent Child? by leonard509(m): 10:05am On Dec 21, 2015
YourMain:


My parents never ever beat me. And I think I've turned out pretty alright. I know kids who've grown up with parents who have hit them and they're destroyed.

My kids will be perfect. Thank you very much.
all the best.
Re: How Can A Parent Tame A Delinquent Child? by Richiy(f): 10:05am On Dec 21, 2015
Definitely not under my roof!!! You want to be an adult? Then be an adult away from my house.
Re: How Can A Parent Tame A Delinquent Child? by peezu(m): 10:05am On Dec 21, 2015
I swear you all won't believe me. The boy don dey smoke weed!!!!!
Re: How Can A Parent Tame A Delinquent Child? by 2000logos: 10:10am On Dec 21, 2015
ask your pastor
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Re: How Can A Parent Tame A Delinquent Child? by Spidermon: 10:16am On Dec 21, 2015
Cane don finish for bush??
Re: How Can A Parent Tame A Delinquent Child? by luckyboss(m): 10:23am On Dec 21, 2015
You mean the guy is from calabar? OP, My advice; Help me ask his parent who any of them ate an angried Dogs' meat before he(the guy) is inpregnated. because it's the spirit of an angry dog that is working in him(the guy).
Re: How Can A Parent Tame A Delinquent Child? by ivanoj(m): 10:24am On Dec 21, 2015
ther is something bothering the child that needs to be spell out. He needs counselling spiritually and metally
Re: How Can A Parent Tame A Delinquent Child? by excess4luv: 10:26am On Dec 21, 2015
This is the genesis of the nuisance we see in our society today, parents failing in the early duties of child upbringing. sparing the rod and spoiling the child, many over pamper kids as if they(kids) are demi-gods.
There are few measures that can be adopted as fast as possible.
* that child might have joined small cult group in school or neighbourhood, find out and create more friendly time to talk with him.
** visit his school to find out his real attitude in school and his real friends, let the teachers council him most times in school.
*** are the parents financially stable? if yes let them change his school without being violent about it.
****watch his spending attitude and cutdown financial assistance offered him without pointing to his bad attitude.
***** the parents don't seem to be religious but may need to try more prayer commitments von his behalf.
****** when the above listed measures fail, the father should employ all forceful means to teach him some lessons.

parents should know the real job of childupbringing
Re: How Can A Parent Tame A Delinquent Child? by ChizzyMaris(f): 10:27am On Dec 21, 2015
[quote author=ggirl4real post=41187886]There's this my neighbour's son that's stubborn.

What bothers me more is the way he talks to his mum. He's about 16years old and in SS3 but I tell you, when he's angry, he'll shout his mum down no matter what she says to him.

He once said to the mum "if you dare touch me with that cane, I'll collect it and beat you", the mum had to seek for help from a neighbour.

Before now, the father could tame him but it seems that he has outgro
.
.
Well, i think the best thing would be to suspend any form of physical punishment for now.
They should try talking to him very calmly, when he's not angry. they shouldn't threaten him or shout at him. Just talk with him. They should tell him how much they love him, and that the punishments/flogging is not because they hate him, but because they want him to become a better person.
If it doesn't work, then they can go ahead and deny of some priviledges, like feeding, clothing, schooling etc.
#MyOpinion
Re: How Can A Parent Tame A Delinquent Child? by AreaFada2: 10:27am On Dec 21, 2015
tearoses:
What were the parents looking at before now
He didn't just start this yesterday
How did they bring him up?
Imagine the effrontery . . the kid threatening to beat up his mother.

It may be too late to get this boy back on the right line. at 16 he is almost an adult and if he offends, he will be treated like an adult.

The problem with kids like this is that the whole community suffers. soon he will be out there being a nuisance to everyone.

They didn't set boundary early enough. They could try juvenile behavioural psychologist.

Or if that fails, just wait till he's 18 and push him out. Shikena.

Life's struggle will reformat his brain. grin
Re: How Can A Parent Tame A Delinquent Child? by UIA04(f): 10:38am On Dec 21, 2015
I always say children are like the yam plant if you dont hold down their branches in time they will grow wild it will difficult to put them back

I would have advised you on juvenile camps but he may get to mix up with worse boys than he is


Ask the parents dont they have one relative someone he can leave with for like a year no school and work doing all the chores and running errands by the time he is tired of work there wont be strength to shout again the parents can even give the people money for his up keep when he comes back he will be meek as a lamb
Re: How Can A Parent Tame A Delinquent Child? by kelmicheal: 10:44am On Dec 21, 2015
chase the little lion out of the house to the forest before it grows bigger
Re: How Can A Parent Tame A Delinquent Child? by darepoju(m): 11:00am On Dec 21, 2015
ggirl4real:
There's this my neighbour's son that's stubborn.

What bothers me more is the way he talks to his mum. He's about 16years old and in SS3 but I tell you, when he's angry, he'll shout his mum down no matter what she says to him.

He once said to the mum "if you dare touch me with that cane, I'll collect it and beat you", the mum had to seek for help from a neighbour.

Before now, the father could tame him but it seems that he has outgrown his father's control too...

He just made pronoucements like "God punish you" (Abasi umia ufen) to his younger sister who is barely 5years old. When his father scolded him, he shouted back at his father in a very violent manner and they're still exchanging words right now. I'm personally afraid from my compound...

I had to tell my sister that if this boy is not tamed, in the next two years, he'll beat everyone in that house...

Please, what could have caused this attitude? and what can be done to put this nasty behaviour on check before it gets out of hand? I'm personally afraid for his parents.
hmmmm...really serious...
n his parents stil av to provide him with basic needs..feeding, shelter etc..cos asking him to b on his own if he can't respect means more trouble .. not just to him. but to d parents n even d community.. bad guys/gangs are out there looking for recruits...right...!?
just help dem..talk to d parents ...since taming him demselves is difficult.. they need help... we don't have many reformatory institutions/centers in Nig. but I knw of 1 here in Kaduna state..
BORSTAL TRAINING INSTITUTE.. they can take kia of him..n am sure they ll help him..we have boys dat went tru borstal dat are now reformed..
pls n pls talk to his parents...
If his case is treated we ll have 1 less treat on our streets...
if not just picture wat he'd bcom if he continues like dis in d next 3-5yrs..

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