Goin through a lot at work, stress might be possibl causes like many hav said, for me its a lie. Not for a man dat is truely inlove wit a woman. Love is a form of motivation, a man can steal moment amist his very busy schedule to call his lover. Like u said ur the one carrying the relationshp whc is not appropriate. Women r only surposed to respond to a mans love. A man is surposed to love the woman more.

goldenboyofpsy:
When it comes to the issue of relationship,you need alot of patience and wisdom. Patience to know when there is a phase that truly test our real or imaginary love. Wisdom because you must not be desperate so you dont loose your worth,value and honor in his sight. If one calls more often,it makes the other person to relax in that part. What to do is to engage your mind into something else dont stay too far so you dont lose him and dont stay too close so you wont be lowered in his sight. See how to fit into his schdules so you wont be a barrier but solution.

thanks, i really do need more wisdom. As for d patience part, i'll be more patient.

gynny:
thanks, i'll pass

(***In Osuofia's voice***)Please MENTION

Dearie pele I understand how you feel cos sometimes men can be so overwhelmed by their work.I think you guys need to just set down an talk,let him know how you feel An also ask him what's going on an why he is acting this way to you.pls don't go fighting with him and yelling at him ok, just calmly do all this so you can be able to get words out of him and find a solution to all this.

gynny:
lol.. Am not high on anything illegal. But i'll get my head checked!

Please do If he's not adding any positive value to your life then he shouldn't be in it. Period. Guys are so tiring sometimes.

Look at it this way- keeping him is stressing you out, right? If you remain with him, you remain with all the uncertainty & stress. If you remain with him, you're holding on to the pain & whatever extra nonsense he brings to the table. However, if you release him, not only will you be free, but the pain will be short-lived compared to what you're allowing yourself to put up with now (for God knows how long). Eventually you will be happy again. Don't you just wanna giggle when you think of all the past relationships you thought you'd never survive? I know I do

lahit14:
Goin through a lot at work, stress might be possibl causes like many hav said, for me its a lie. Not for a man dat is truely inlove wit a woman. Love is a form of motivation, a man can steal moment amist his very busy schedule to call his lover. Like u said ur the one carrying the relationshp whc is not appropriate. Women r only surposed to respond to a mans love. A man is surposed to love the woman more.

well i'll need to re-assess my relationship. I always felt a relationship is suppose to be a patnership, with both sides contributing to make it work. I guess i've been doing his part for sometime nw. Thanks!

Op,be careful with many advise from people who are not deep or know the real meaning of love. Call it 'wisdom' but it may be foolishness for another relationship. Dont think what you are not suppose to which may negatively affect your relationship. Just take honest and sincere assessment of the situation. Patience is needed because he may be weak in that aspect but stronger in another aspect which may take time to mature. My point is is he a good and responsible person if yes,just relax and see where you need to improve and grow together. Take things slow. My fiancee once complain of me not appreciating her some last year but she's the one telling me today that I should not blow off her head with appreciation that its nothing.
On a final note,choose or find mature woman who you can discuss your relationship with her motherly wisdom will go a long way in helping dont also forget about good books on relationship. Dr Gary Chapman books are the best for now. I rest my case God will guide you on the best way and method to choose.

firstking01:
sorry dearie...bt hw do i help

thanks alot, u already did.

Decker:
OP I think I understand where you are coming from. In most relationships, it's normally hard on one partner if he/she feels he/she isn't being shown enough love as is being rendered to the other partner.

From your post your rightly stated that you know your man loves you. This means that he actually expresses love in other areas, but he is only lacking in the area of making out time for you.

You have to first understand one thing. The fact that a guy doesn't call you all the time doesn't mean he doesn't really love you. Some guys aren't the calling type. And given the fact that your man is a very busy person, it would be difficult for him to always call or be with you all the time. You are a woman. Women generally like to be given much attention by their partners, and when they feel they aren't given as much as they think they should, it becomes a problem, as is in your case.

I believe your man still loves you and cares about you. You should stop worrying.

I'll tell you what. How about you make out time for each other. I mean set out a particular time of the week, when he isn't busy, just for the two of you. Maybe on friday nights or sunday afternoons. Just the two of you. This would help in making you feel closer to him and in keeping the connection you have with each other alive, even if you don't get to spend that much time together, and hopefully it would erase your doubts.

This...

@OP, I don't mean to sadden u further but when you find out he has another babe, kindly inform us.

Check well, he has another babe.

gynny:
sometimes he does'nt call for days. We only see on public holidays, thats the only time he has for visits.

does he work on Saturday and Sundays? If no then one of you should try pay the other a visit.. I hope the distance isn't too far

.

gynny:
thanks alot, u already did.

dunno why gud gals like u keep falling into the hands of the wrong guys...wen husband materials like us dey here

gynny:
i understand he may be going tru a lot, but he'll not even talk to me abt them and when i asks he just snaps. Sometimes he does'nt call for days, but i still try to call every day.

keep doing ur part and I hope he change soon..Though I don't know the nature of his work, I don't see anything wrong even if it's a ten minutes talk on Fone after work..

Since you are certain he loves you and vice versa, keep doing ur best to make the relationship work.. I tell you, long distance relationship is not for everyone, if you are not strong and don't easily trust people, believe me you will run away. Just a matter of time.

wise woman

grad2012:
Dearie pele I understand how you feel cos sometimes men can be so overwhelmed by their work.I think you guys need to just set down an talk,let him know how you feel An also ask him what's going on an why he is acting this way to you.pls don't go fighting with him and yelling at him ok, just calmly do all this so you can be able to get words out of him and find a solution to all this.

gynny:
well i'll need to re-assess my relationship. I always felt a relationship is suppose to be a patnership, with both sides contributing to make it work. I guess i've been doing his part for sometime nw. Thanks!

Thr's no such tin as a 50/50 relationshp dear, don't let any1 tell u different. One person has to carry the relationshp, somtimes just like yours the women do the carrying but its not alwys fair, most times just like you now, she becomes weary n complains becos in truth dat is not her part to play. Women r ear beings I often say n men r eye beings. U need to fill a womans ear up to overflow dats Y ur ears r itching n only a man dat truely loves a woman can tak the time to lavish her wit words n in return she does almost anytin he wants.

Odunharry:

does he work on Saturday and Sundays? If no then one of you should try pay the other a visit.. I hope the distance isn't too far

the distance is quite far, with school nd work on my side, saturday nd sundays are kinda impossible.

Cutehector:
Babe just hold on, be patient, try to understand the situation, I think he may be goin tru a lot at work, jst try to be understanding.... how often does he call u?

advicer Onowamagbe.

lahit14:


Thr's no such tin as a 50/50 relationshp dear, don't let any1 tell u different. One person has to carry the relationshp, somtimes just like yours the women do the carrying but its not alwys fair, most times just like you now, she becomes weary n complains becos in truth dat is not her part to play. Women r ear beings I often say n men r eye beings. U need to fill a womans ear up to overflow dats Y ur ears r itching n only a man dat truely loves a woman can tak the time to lavish her wit words n in return she does almost anytin he wants.

thanks alot.

saraphina:
advicer Onowamagbe.

lol u crazy... wats good

Cutehector:
lol u crazy... wats good

everything z gud.

saraphina:
everything z gud.

alright...

gynny:
Thanks Decker, i get ur points and i'll try to apply them. As for the spending time on friday nights and stuffs, it's a long distance relationship, but we try to visit during public hoildays.

That guy has someone where he is...take it or leave it. not calling for days? Dat shld give u a hint.

gynny:
I know he loves me, but i think i love him more than he loves me and he knows that.

See, that right there is your problem. In an ideal relationship, it would be a good thing but since those don't exist...... It's a really really bad thing. In romantic relationships, women (usually) stand to loose more. So he already has an upper hand. So it's recommended that if someone has to "love more" in a relationship, it should be the guy.

Subtly change ur mentality. He is not your world. U do not love him more than life itself. Don't become mean or anything but.... Be more playful, let it psychologically seep thru that this is not do or die for u. It's a very hard balance to strike sha

?

blublahd:

What's an ideal relationship?

Never been in one oga, u are the experienced one please enlighten us

?

blublahd:

Oga?
Where did I claim to be experienced oh seer?
I was hoping you enlighten me since you know a relationship that qualifies as 'ideal'

She did state there was no such thing as ideal in her opinion.

Try this. Treat him as he treats you. Thank me later

gynny:
Hello nairalanders, i'm writing this because i'm so hurt, i feel unappreciated. I've been dating my boyfriend for 2 years now, and through out this period i've loved and cared for him like any loving person should maybe a little too much. And all i've asked is that he loves me just the same. I know he loves me, but i think i love him more than he loves me and he knows that. I know his job is time consuming and stressful, but i still understand and support him. Sometimes i'll practically have to beg him to call me! Thats how bad it gets. Please guys advice me because all my advice and mirror talk is doing nothing, i think i'm sick in the head because i know i deserve more than i'm getting. I keep telling myself to let go, i tried and the pain was just too much.

If its about him not calling you, try sending him airtime.

Nubian113
I did not reread the post
I think mrsphyno modified her initial post.
Thanks.

goldenboyofpsy:
Op,be careful with many advise from people who are not deep or know the real meaning of love. Call it 'wisdom' but it may be foolishness for another relationship. Dont think what you are not suppose to which may negatively affect your relationship. Just take honest and sincere assessment of the situation. Patience is needed because he may be weak in that aspect but stronger in another aspect which may take time to mature. My point is is he a good and responsible person if yes,just relax and see where you need to improve and grow together. Take things slow. My fiancee once complain of me not appreciating her some last year but she's the one telling me today that I should not blow off her head with appreciation that its nothing.
On a final note,choose or find mature woman who you can discuss your relationship with her motherly wisdom will go a long way in helping dont also forget about good books on relationship. Dr Gary Chapman books are the best for now. I rest my case God will guide you on the best way and method to choose.

pls check ur mail.