Hello my fellow nairalanders, have been a guest on this forum for a few years now. Over the years, have watched you guys save broken marriages, wavering relationships almost on the verge of collapse, and die-hard friendship being torn apart, with sound advices(a bith harsh, but always true) sometimes coupled with a little bit of sarcasm, which makes me laugh at times with tears rolling down my cheeks that I mostly end up holding my stomach so my tummy won't rip out from too much laughter.
I am a young lady in my mid-twenties, and am a virgin( based on biblical conviction and my own personal belief aside religion). Now this is my challenge, guys comes after me in droves but yet leave the same way as they come, simply because I refuse to put out. I know virginity is not the be all, but I just can't bring myself to sleep with someone who's not mine in all respect(in God's eyes and before the whole world at large). I know you all tired of virginity threads, but please I am so unhappy right now, am just confused as to why most men just leave without getting to know the real me. Why can't they have a healthy and trusting relationship with me void of sex? Help a sister ,advice anything. Because am so sad right now,and I am not in a relationship because of this ,some even hang around, hoping I would change my mind but leaves when they realise they won't be getting any.

A man who can't respect ur decisions and ur beliefs is not worth it. Don't worry u'll find d right person.

There's no need to be sad my dear, it only means the men you've been meeting are not for you. Its not about the men that mill around you (in droves, herds or whatever) its about that special man that sees you as a queen and treats you same


My advice: keep calm, you haven't met him yet so don't go throwing away your pearl before swines.

Just keep praying fervently, it's not as easy as it seems to see Men who don't want to get between your legs. Or, attend go-hard churches that count premarital copulation as taboos and flaunt yoself at any God-fearing man you see in charming ways, such as warm smiles and all. No cleavage views.

The man good enough for you has not come yet!
Why would you want the chaff instead of the wheat?
If you are a student,concentrate more on your studies and if you are a graduate,involve yourself more in what makes you happy.
You should be the one leaving these guys instead of waiting for them to leave.Don't compromise,else you won't feel fulfilled at the end of it.
At the right time,that right man will come.

Ornate1:
Hello my fellow nairalanders, have been a guest on this forum for a few years now. Over the years, have watched you guys save broken marriages, wavering relationships almost on the verge of collapse, and die-hard friendship being torn apart, with sound advices(a bith harsh, but always true) sometimes coupled with a little bit of sarcasm, which makes me laugh at times with tears rolling down my cheeks that I mostly end up holding my stomach so my tummy won't rip out from too much laughter.
I am a young lady in my mid-twenties, and am a virgin( based on biblical conviction and my own personal belief aside religion). Now this is my challenge, guys comes after me in droves but yet leave the same way as they come, simply because I refuse to put out. I know virginity is not the be all, but I just can't bring myself to sleep with someone who's not mine in all respect(in God's eyes and before the whole world at large). I know you all tired of virginity threads, but please I am so unhappy right now, am just confused as to why most men just leave without getting to know the real me. Why can't they have a healthy and trusting relationship with me void of sex? Help a sister ,advice anything. Because am so sad right now,and I am not in a relationship because of this ,some even hang around, hoping I would change my mind but leaves when they realise they won't be getting any.

we need to talk

Dere's no crime in being a v.guys wuld always be guys.u may have sex wt dem n dey'll still leave u cos sex doesn't keep a man in a relationship....maybe God is saving d best 4 d last

Keep the good faith and fight the battle babe... Your best is yet to come

Its your decision to be what u have chosen to be. Don't let anyone make u feel sad over your good decision. I know you must have met a 'great guy' you felt he shld have been the one until he asked for sex, isn't?. Well take it as one of those things you have to go through in other to be at peace with God. #sisteristandwithyou

No need to put yourself in a state of imbroglio, I knw u are already feeling u re due for marriage but the relationships re breaking off midway, just relax ok.
If u have chosen that path pulease stick to it, put God to reminder & in ur next relationship let the guy knw in clear terms ur desire to stay flowered till when it's time before u start dating & don't forget to show ur man the kind of LOVE & RESPECT that will forever keep him by ur side. At times it's not because of ur no sex thing before marriage that drives eligible men away but ur character & lifestyle like not knowing hw to cook, dirty nature, nagging, disrespect etc jare...

While I would say congratulations for keeping ur self these far.. Because it not something that is easy to achieve. I salute you for that..

Now as regards your problem,

There is no nedd to be sad. All you need to do is check yourself, are you the one chasing them away with your attitude and character that all they just want to do is sleep with you so that they have something to cheer themselves up for.

Been a virgin is good but if your character and attitude is zero or you feel because you are a virgin that you should not work on yourself sorry to say that you don jonze.. they will leave

Those guys just show up with sex in mind. Don't let them win. You will find the right partner trust me. But hope u can recognize and keep a good man? Work on yourself dear. No cause for alarm yet.

Ornate1:
Hello my fellow nairalanders, have been a guest on this forum for a few years now. Over the years, have watched you guys save broken marriages, wavering relationships almost on the verge of collapse, and die-hard friendship being torn apart, with sound advices(a bith harsh, but always true) sometimes coupled with a little bit of sarcasm, which makes me laugh at times with tears rolling down my cheeks that I mostly end up holding my stomach so my tummy won't rip out from too much laughter.
I am a young lady in my mid-twenties, and am a virgin( based on biblical conviction and my own personal belief aside religion). Now this is my challenge, guys comes after me in droves but yet leave the same way as they come, simply because I refuse to put out. I know virginity is not the be all, but I just can't bring myself to sleep with someone who's not mine in all respect(in God's eyes and before the whole world at large). I know you all tired of virginity threads, but please I am so unhappy right now, am just confused as to why most men just leave without getting to know the real me. Why can't they have a healthy and trusting relationship with me void of sex? Help a sister ,advice anything. Because am so sad right now,and I am not in a relationship because of this ,some even hang around, hoping I would change my mind but leaves when they realise they won't be getting any.

Let them go!!!! However, do not blame them. A lot of guys have their stories of betrayal and heartbreaks. Imagine a guy obeying a girl's rules of a no sex relationship for years only for the girl to dump him for another man. There are instances of women pretending to be virgins when in fact they are worse than porn queens. That is why a lot of guys now insist on sampling a woman to avoid stories that touch.

But verily I tell you, your man is out there waiting to set his eyes on you. Be cheerful, sweet one and do not compromise your principles out of desperation.

@jewelnutch, I thought the same thing too, but I got a big shock. I accepted to date a brother I didn't fancy at all, because I felt since we met within the church province,he wouldn understand,but on the contrary, he refused. That got me so pissed considering the fact that he was a pastor. I laid the cards on the table before I say yes to him, and he outrightly refused that he is not used to that. So we never dated

Can't comprehend either..... Men and sex are like 5&6

Theres probably like 5% of mens population out there
That are willing to stay in a no-sex relationship
THe probability of getting those guys are very slim
Maybe one day when the stars align for you
You'd get one from that 5%, till then keep your fingers crossed
Stay positive.

What of your church brothers. Are they also demanding

@temifash, I pride myself a lot more in my character,not my virginity status. Even two of my neighbors, once recommended me to their brothers(that obviously was based on my character, since they know not my stance on sex before marriage). I know sex has permeated our society, but since am not ready to indulge ,I make up for it with my character. I am a very transparent person,and I don't like leading guys on, so I make my stance clear from day one. Guy stucked around , but left since there was no show.

Penisinpenisout:
Theres probably like 5% of mens population out there
That are willing to stay in a no-sex relationship
THe probability of getting those guys are very slim
Maybe one day when the stars align for you
You'd get one from that 5%, till then keep your fingers crossed
Stay positive.

Out of this 5% about 90% are in church, and she is in church too, so what is happening.

Keep praying.
The lord in his infinite mercy will sure send forth your own husband.
You are still young.
Pls don't even think at all.

when the going gets tough the tough gets going.your Mr RIGHT has not come.patience should be your watchword

Hmmm...

What can I say?

Speechless3:


Out of this 5% about 90% are in church, and she is in church too, so what is happening.

Its one thing to go to church
Its another thing to lead a good and holy life
Not everyone obeys the teachings of the church
Certainly not everyone keeps the commandment, i mean we're in Nigeria afterall.
Even married couples cheat but are always the first in line to receive communion, lol.
Murderers, rapist, thieves, everyone goes to church, so do people who engage in premarital sex
So she would be lucky to find someone who will settle for 'no-sex' relationship

@mjsheksy, thanks for your brotherly advice, but believe me when I tell you my character is top-notch. you are right, virginity without good manners is nothing to men, I know men love being respected, and would gladly choose respect in a lady over all other secondary qualities. Just as beauty without intelligence is nothing. Permit me to say am a neat freak, book worm . Just the sex issue

Ornate1:
Hello my fellow nairalanders, have been a guest on this forum for a few years now. Over the years, have watched you guys save broken marriages, wavering relationships almost on the verge of collapse, and die-hard friendship being torn apart, with sound advices(a bith harsh, but always true) sometimes coupled with a little bit of sarcasm, which makes me laugh at times with tears rolling down my cheeks that I mostly end up holding my stomach so my tummy won't rip out from too much laughter.
I am a young lady in my mid-twenties, and am a virgin( based on biblical conviction and my own personal belief aside religion). Now this is my challenge, guys comes after me in droves but yet leave the same way as they come, simply because I refuse to put out. I know virginity is not the be all, but I just can't bring myself to sleep with someone who's not mine in all respect(in God's eyes and before the whole world at large). I know you all tired of virginity threads, but please I am so unhappy right now, am just confused as to why most men just leave without getting to know the real me. Why can't they have a healthy and trusting relationship with me void of sex? Help a sister ,advice anything. Because am so sad right now,and I am not in a relationship because of this ,some even hang around, hoping I would change my mind but leaves when they realise they won't be getting any.

Well, I can only advise u to stay calm and never change your mind the right man will come at the right time.I want to tell u there are millions of men out there that wouldn't want to sleep with u before marriage.Take for instance I was the one that told my fiancee that nothing will be between us before we tied d knot though the urge is high we have to take that decision and keep our body.
Another thing I want to advise on is that watch d kind of people u move out with and pray fervently soon the right man will locate you .

My love for her is beyond her hymen. When u have dis as a mantra life will be cool relationship will go smoothly

@Penney, it's either no sex till marriage or no sex till marriage ooo, . I believe it's not my to give, but for the rightful man to take, but for me it's only within the confinement of holy matrimony. Thanks for taking your time to read my post, I appreciate. Am just confused as to why most men can't look beyond that.

Ɣ☺ΰ won carry virginity go heaven?? Your mate don marry oº°˚˚°ºo .. Loosen up . Girls yakpa like sandine .. Drop kpekus fo® boys and see...  yourself tieing τ̲̅ђe knot . Men thiS days wanna text drive what they are buying

Sorry but I have not seen any beautiful, educated and well behaved with additional top up of being a VIRGIN lady and no man is ready to wait for the D day.

You should be happy that the wolves left you.

@op, date only man who you sure he's ready for marriage.
You will eventually lose it if you keep dating unserious men.