Legs, I guess pple are thinking it is you that lost your husband because a personal mail was sent to us saying someone sent the mail, therafter, we see on the forum the same story with an identity. Sorry for that, but get the feeling of the affected person and pardon all.

Meanwhile, tell the person with the experience that, if she is a wife, she should KEEP HER MAN. He still LOVES HER and I beleive from all indication, she LOVES HIM TOO. But, if She's a GIRL, She should slap and work away to experience a lonely world, where she will meet alot of FAKE men that will use and dump her or she may even end up being a Moni herslef to someone else.

Many pple have advised aright, She should pray, Love in totality and fix all that her husband complains about. The holy book say's
It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.

Well, I guess that why every man should have an affair...$#!*...it might save your life...but for real I believe this story was crafted by a guy to see a female's reaction to a very ackward situation.

Well, I guess that why every man should have an affair...$#!*...it might save your life...but for real I believe this story was crafted by a guy to see a female's reaction to a very ackward situation.



i agree

I cant believe the responses I've been reading! especially the ones kinda blaming the woman for Lanre's infidelity. Are u for real?

I cant help but think there's a double standard going on here. If the woman was the one cheating on her husband, I dont think the responses would have been for the husband to check himself and find out what he's doing wrong. The general concensus would have be that he should dump his wife. Why are we more likely to encourage women to stand for something that a reasonable person would not? We wouldnt expect a man to take that kind of nonsense yet we're encouraging and even expecting women to deal with such nonsense in the name of love and for her children?

If the man does not respect the marriage union and even his children enough and has the need to seek love somewhere else, then he is NOT worthy of my love and that's the bottom line.

In marriage, It's challenging enough getting along and having to raise children who are good but for a woman to have to deal with the infidelty of her husband day in day out is outrageous. Men need to start putting women on a higher pedestal than that.

Bottom line, if u love your wife , you wouldnt have to cheat on her even though u may be tempted. It goes both ways too. It takes a conscious effort for anyone to cheat on their spouse. Despite what people say, IT JUST DOESNT HAPPEN!

If it was a man whose wife cheated on him, I think we'll encourage him to do the same. It's not about female inferiority; it's about the importance of marriage.

I disagree. It's very unlikely that the man will be encouraged to remain in the marriage. Women are told to take a lot of stuff all in the name of marriage but on the other hand, the man is allowed to get away with a lot of stuff...after all he's a man. This is my observation from hanging around naija men.

Escaping death because of his infidelity is no excuse 4 u 2 turn a blind eye 2 his extra marital affiars. It is wrong and unacceptable. marriage is about love and being unfaithful is not love. He should see his escaping death as a reason for him to know death is real and he should change his ways. Alfred Nobel did that , thats why we have the NOble Prize today.

lullaby, I insist that in this case there's little difference between the advice a man would recieve in a similar circumstance. What matters more is whether they have children ...

[color=#000099]well,i do sympathise you on your most unfortunate situation
i do ,however i would say you've been going about things the wrong way.
why dont you pause 4 a minute an try a different tactic.
Try this;pretend that moni doesn't even exist,never mention her name around the house again
when next your husband comes in smelling of moni,hug him and tell him what a elight it is to have him back home.
Dress better,look better,feel better and cease to be a nag,if theres anything anyone hates thats nagging
then hope in God for all the best,remember pray alot,whether you are a muslim,christian...i do
believe you believe in God!
i wish you all the best!
krazzee

Okay, this is true story that happened in America during the Septmebr 11 crash.

It does not pay to plagiarise but in any case, my take on this is, leave the fool to go and spend his days with Moni or whatever her name is..... pick your self up and dust your self down. He chose to have an affair, his choice not yours. Remember free will and all that. Therefore you have done nothing wrong and its unfair for people to insinuate that you have done something wrong. Let the dog go and wag his tail somehere else lest you catch fleas!!

lets make this more interesting.how many of u guys willl respond the way u did if the tables were turned.lets say she was the one involved in the affair and he had to find out the same way she did. what do u think will have happened?

Seun, I guess we're just gonna have to agree to disagree...let's wait for the responses to obj's question.


Apart from the fact that he was unfaithful, doesnt the fact that he may end up bringing some STD home come into the picture? Not in this day and age where HIV/AIDs is rampant. It will be in her best interest to leave ASAP. The first thing I would do after finding out about the affair is to go for an AIDs test and then kick the loser out of my house....chikena!

About the HIV/AIDS issue: the husband had been cheating for a long time, even before this incident. So if Moni had HIV she would probably have already been infected

Tables turned: if it was a man whose wife had been insisting on sleeping with another woman, he would have told her to pack out a long time ago, after beating up her lover (which is bad). It is women that like to take this rubbish because they believe that men can't be faithful. Men can be even more faithful than women, who find it easy to just open up their ...

I love this Topic.

hello! people?

well all i know is that- its your decision to make though it may be hard but its your decision all the same.

Now can you because your hubby Lanre escape death and ask him to continue with his evil ways? lets say he is an armed robber will you still want to give up the fight because he escape a night of death? no sin is better than the other its just that luck carry's the day.

on the other hand, if you will take your time to see the kind of person this girl he is seeing , and know if you have anything in common that if it happen that he marries her you won't lose a thing. then ask him to marry her so that you put your energy to something useful to your family.

any way is a way, that name Moni look and sounds like Monies, may be she give Lanere good luck with his life. you may even change your name to moni de 1st abi everything na trial, Jacob answered Esau just one 4 a day and his life was changed forever, maybe that's the style you needed so grip it while it is still open.


thanks
am out of here

at least you should thank God that your husband is alive. NAGGING your husband all the time WON"T get you your man back it'ld only drive him away from you. the best thing you can do is PRAY hard and ALWAYS pray for your husband though it may seem like it's not working but trust me GOD hears every little pray or word or wish that you make, treat him special like when you just fell in love, NEVER mention moni or whatever her names is again and if he brings up her name just smile and when you start with this you'ld know that GOD is for sure doing something great and wonderful in your marriage and everything would just be like yesterday. most importantly make God the center of your life, marriage and the rest will fall into place, before you know it moni will come asking for your forgiveness

knowing women the way i do[being married to 2 lovely women,i should]am still perplexed by her reaction.but one thing for sure, lanre will never have peace again.this episode will be nagged on over and over again.she will intimidate,blackmail,and use it to get whatsoever she wants. i pity lanre,somewhwat darkly.i will not wish this situation on my enemies. now for moni,i dont know if u have kids,but believe me whatever u decide to do,u r gonna wake up one morning and regret it.iits just so unfortunate.most marriages survive  on the golden rule of do not ask,do not tell theory.men will always have vices,the worst being unfaithful, though most of us chauvinistically think its just a man thing and we cant do anything about our genetic make -up.hogwash.

Though d story sounds quite polished........can it happen ......................yes or no. Honestly in Nig nothing is impossible. As far as i'm concerned, that woman shd av knelt down and thanked her God that the sorry SOB didn't die such a horrid type of death cos given the low mentality prevalent in our society, she wd av been accused of all sorts.

In my view getting a divorce ain't d thing. As far as i'm concerned moni has come to stay. Even if d relationship ends, it may nt end as they as in most cases they end up been on nd off lovers. But wot can i say its sad that d chap may even think moni is his saving angel as he was with her.

Okay if u divorce him , r u prepared to stay alone or get married. Talking from experience no nig man ever remains faithful when married. No matter wot u say or do they r all d same. So u must be ready to continue d cycle of divorce.

But just continue holding on to God......no matter wot happens he's yours. She'll gradually fade away cos "What God has joined together no man can put assunder"

After reading some of these post, i have concluded that women are the reason men cheat...especially Nigerian women.
We perpetuate this bullcrap from generation to generation.

I cannot comprehend most of the stuff i am hearing here.
So in the sake of having a husband, a woman should loose her sanity?
Pray, forgive, stop nagging, thank Moni, be like Moni...what d f&%k

Forget that Lanre wants to keep his wife AND Moni, he cannot possibly be in the wrong abi?
Forget that Lanre also took the wedding vows that he had no trouble breaking?
Is it better for children to grow up in a troubled home, than have two separate but happy parents?

The more women tolorate it, men will continue to do it.

Once bitten?

God uses the devil to fulfill his will! so the man escaping the bellview plane crash, because he ran to Moni does not mean anything special. But i can imagine what the Dumb[s][/s] man is thinking? I am sure he believes that this is a sign that Moni is his Saviour, thus more attention/money for her.

I think Angela k is absolutely right!

Whocares, you couldnt have stated it better! Thank u jare!

I agree with you that women are the main reason why men continue to cheat because they just stand for too much s***...moreso, nigerian women. You are the only one that can determine how people treat you. Obviously, the husband aint got no respect for her and the vows he made in front of more than 200 people, abi?
How is she supposed to respect someone like that? One moment of indiscretion is bad enough but to continue with the affair knowing that his wife is aware is just downright rude and wicked!

See whocares and lullaby say whatever u want, pray u r nt faced with d situation then all d mouth u pple r making will stop. Ok what shd she do . U guys didnt say nothing but av lashed at other pples opinions. So plswhen replying state specifically what she shd do.

whocares:


Is it better for children to grow up in a troubled home, than have two separate but happy parents?

so guess u think a divorce is it. As far as i'm concerned this won't solve d situation except u intend been alone for d rest of ur life.

I think you will all find that this "my husband my husband" attitude is a cultural thing. Which culture I have no idea!!!

We are not mushrooms, you know the "we all bury our head in the sand and feed each other a load of bullshit " school of thought. Most people come from cultures in which one generation or another had more than one wife, therefore it is not seen as a big deal hence all the diatribe towards the wife thanking her stars that Lanre is tsill alive, she must have nagged him and she should continue to stay with him bla bla bla. Poppycock!!

Women don't need to take that sort of bullcrap from men anymore and vice versa.

If Moni wants him, abeg let her have the dog... and if the positions were reversed, I would be saying "leave the bitch lest you catch fleas".

....and another thing

Children have ears and eyes and nothing really gets past them so to continue to say in a home where you are unhappy and disrespected by your husband results in you failing to teach your children to value themselves, stand up for themselves and respect you as a mother- in other words, if your daughter's husband does the same thing to her, will you be saying " Well, Moni did the same thing to me so just put up with it. I did etc... " you see where I am going with this.

and the end of the day, it's your choice.

My humble opinion

.

Yes, she should leave the bagger immediately, is that clear enough? She should get a divorce and take all his worth...that's my recommendation.

As far as I know, I'm not making mouth at all. Obviously, I dont need men to validate them. Why would I decide to remain in a relationship I dont see going anywhere? Even the bible allows one to divorce on the grounds of adultery showing that it's a serious crime.

I think it's equally wrong for someone (the wife in this case) to remain in the marriage out of fear of being alone. I find that most women I know in the situations remain not because the relationship has any chance of improving, but out of fear of loneliness and they usually ridicule their husbands this time.
Personall, that's just a waste of time. I will rather divorce than spend the rest of my life in a miserable marriage.

If u want to remain in such marriage, that's your perogative. As for me, I will say it again, divorce is the answer in this case.

Frankly She shouldn't leave him at all !!!! U know somethiing... Those arguing that Moni saved him, are really missing the point!!! Truth is, it is GOD that saved him!! and Moni was just a tool in the hands of the Most High to keep Lanre for something he is supposed to do in future.... with his Family... The Lord works in mysterious ways u know.... Otherwise the cheating man would have died since..... if not from the accident, but either from a car crash, malaria, too much sex( ) or heart attack, or the many tragedies that could occur....
So the wife should only thank God for saving her husband but continue the aluta against Moni NOT leave her to win... Whatever happened to fighting for ur man
My candid advice is.. If you love hi, be prepared to FIGHT for him... unless he kicks u out himself...Besides, what u saw in him that made u marry him, is the same thing that Moni currently sees... IF she's genuinely in love....thats probably why she isn't ready to let go... AND SO YOU SHOULDN'T LET GO EITHER!!!!!
Cheers..

That's a very putuful condition
But first, she gas to calm down and select a good weapon.
And then, move on to squash Moni's head!

A man's life was saved cos of his extra-marrital affairs and you think he'll stop at that before the crash, he was die-hard about moni... Imagine how his intimacy with and enthusiasm for her would have incresaed in geometric progression!!!

Sorry woman, it would take an ACT OF GOD for your husband to become yours alone, or else, kiss him goodbye!!!

But if you really love him, i guess prayers won't hurt...

_zuuuuuuuumjust passing by

Legs, even if you still love this guy after all he did, I think its time to say goodbye. Ok, the fact that he was cheating saved his life. But isn´t that a terrible irony to have to bear? He should be feeling guilty! And its no reason for him to continue with his ways. he promised he would end things with Moni, and he lied. he didn´t end it and I doubt he will. It´s hard to leave one´s marriage, but is such a marriage still worth living? He´s hurting, and no man in the world is worth that kind of suffering. You have a life to live, go on with it, no matter how hard it is at first. By going on like this, you are drowning, losing yourself bit by bit.
If he won´t change, it´s up to you to end this suffering. Move on with your life, overcome. Let Moni have him if she wants. You are too good for him, believe in that!

Lovely story if only it were to be true.

anyways my comment: I have always believe its good to have extra marital affairs and this story just prove my point. There is always something good like in it. while it might not be escape from death, it could be numerous other things like good sex which will eventually lead to long life. Perhaps it could even be the good food, you know girlfriends cook better or maybe the lack of nagging. Whatever it is, extra marital affairs has its advantages. I recommend it to you guys planning to get married and to you married men i will only say WHAT are you waiting for.